Monday, November 15, 2010

Fast Cheap and Out of Control Contest

Tell us why YOU should have this fast cheap and out of control Deluxe back seat air freshener…

The prize

We’ll select our favourite answer later this week and send this Deluxe prize to the lucky winner.
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39 comments:

  1. jason7:30 AM, November 15, 2010

    Because I'm slow, expensive and uptight.

    Oh, and first!

    ReplyDelete
  2. CyberPete7:45 AM, November 15, 2010

    I'm going to have to bow out of this one. I don't have a car and I don't smell bad.

    Yet, I think Beastie should win it. The reason? I'd think that's fairly obvious. Imagine the effects of Ma Beasties chickpea curry.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BEAST8:30 AM, November 15, 2010

    Pete , Ma Beasties chickpea curry is the least of it. If Frobisher has been sneackily feeding Mr C's hell hounds with some dodgy old franfurters he found cheap at a car boot sale , Lloyd sounds like deflating bag pipes in the back of the car and there is a not so delicate hint of bowel in the air , you can see people sniffing and checking their shoes when we stop at traffic lights....its embarrasing

    ReplyDelete
  4. BEAST8:32 AM, November 15, 2010

    AND if Mr C has been eating KFC you spark up a fag at your peril

    ****KABOOOOM*****

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:41 AM, November 15, 2010

    Well, I'm without a car as well - I torched it for the insurance money, since I couldn't keep up the payments:

    http://i55.tinypic.com/2irnot5.jpg

    But I'd agree that Mr. Beast's entry will be hard to beat.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Mistress9:28 AM, November 15, 2010

    BITCHES: Keep ‘em coming.

    And may I point out that it is not necessary to be the owner of a vehicle in order to win the prize.

    In fact, the illustration on the back of the package shows that you can wear the air freshener around your neck as “bling” or suspend a pair of them from your underarms as deodorant.

    And please welcome Miss Retro Roxy to Infomaniac!

    I picked her up hitchhiking by the side of the road. Sadly, the roof of the MistressMobile crushed her beehive but she can always book an appointment with Mistress MJ or one of our other fabulous beauticians over at the The Hair Hall of Fame.

    *sniffs blog and suspects Beast has been in the room*

    *SPRAYS BLOG LIBERALLY WITH FEBREZE*

    ReplyDelete
  7. ayeM8y10:00 AM, November 15, 2010

    Because my backseat has seen about as much action as my backside! I live and work out of my car these days so both are a little smelly and in need of a freshener.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous10:03 AM, November 15, 2010

    Thank you for the introduction, MJ - if your car only had a sunroof, it wouldn't have been a problem.

    And hello to the Infomaniac groupies here! MJ is in my inner circle of trusted advisors, so messing with him is the same as messing with me - I'll cap any punk that tries it.

    I'm really very nice, other than a violent temper, so I hope you'll all come see me:

    http://retroroxy.wordpress.com

    Please be freshly showered, and for crying out loud, DON'T leave your socks on, okay?

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Mistress10:12 AM, November 15, 2010

    Let’s have another look at AyeM8y’s busy backside, shall we?

    Oh my. Miss Retro Roxy doesn’t realize that Mistress MJ has a secret lady place.

    But DO pop over to visit her here. There’s free food!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mitzi 11:40 AM, November 15, 2010

    You don't have to own a car, you could hang it on your Christmas tree instead. But not my Christmas tree it'll look common.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Mistress11:54 AM, November 15, 2010

    Good idea, Mitzi.

    And keep in mind, it would make a delightful Christmas gift for that stinky someone.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Roses11:57 AM, November 15, 2010

    I'm fast and out of control, but certainly not cheap.

    But 'fast, expensive and out of control' really doesn't have the same ring, does it?

    Champagne Cyberpete? Any one else?

    ReplyDelete
  13. CyberPete1:19 PM, November 15, 2010

    Please, Roses darling. I'd love some.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Inexplicable DeVice1:27 PM, November 15, 2010

    I should have this to remind me of how things could degenerate if I don't keep up my Bree van de Kamp Desperate Housewife veneer. It would be ironic.

    Well, that's the story I'm sticking to, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Inexplicable DeVice1:27 PM, November 15, 2010

    Or, I suppose I could hang it off the back of Broom just in case I have to give Beast a lift back from the Coven?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Inexplicable DeVice1:28 PM, November 15, 2010

    P.S. How do you do RetroRoxy, and welcome!

    ReplyDelete
  17. normadesmond2:40 PM, November 15, 2010

    sorry, my backseat is always springtime fresh.

    always.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous2:41 PM, November 15, 2010

    MJ, I'm sorry for not proofreading! "Him"?? I have NO IDEA where that came from... I'm currently out of scotch, so I took a fistful of Vicodin until I could get to the liquor store - maybe I should start counting them first...

    ReplyDelete
  19. CyberPete2:43 PM, November 15, 2010

    IDV dearest, why do you want to know how one 'does' Retroroxy? Surely you have enough in SP at home.

    Greedy bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Jenny2:52 PM, November 15, 2010

    Because I now bring all three dogs to my office and it smells like;

    DOG!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Princess4:22 PM, November 15, 2010

    Fresh Daisy Scent...Just the thing for covering up the acrid puking smell of dried youghurt stains. At least that is what I think it is.
    Try as I might there just seems no way of ridding the back seat of "Odour de Houseboy". They assure me that it has been scrubbed and copious amounts of lily of the valley toilet water sprinkled about... But to no avail.
    No sooner has it been cleaned and they're back there spraying youghurt around again...

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Mistress4:54 PM, November 15, 2010

    ROSES & CYBERPOOF: I see you have no desire to enter the compo yet you’re willing to help yourself to the champers.

    IVD: I should have this to remind me of how things could degenerate if I don't keep up my Bree van de Kamp Desperate Housewife veneer. It would be ironic.
    Well, that's the story I'm sticking to, anyway.

    Are you wearing Mr. Frobisher’s Bree van de Kamp wig or do you have one of your own?

    IVD: Or, I suppose I could hang it off the back of Broom just in case I have to give Beast a lift back from the Coven?

    Touché!

    IVD: P.S. How do you do RetroRoxy, and welcome!

    See comment from CyberPoof.

    NORMADESMOND: sorry, my backseat is always springtime fresh.
    always.

    Do you use Sphincterine?

    ROXY: MJ, I'm sorry for not proofreading! "Him"?? I have NO IDEA where that came from... I'm currently out of scotch, so I took a fistful of Vicodin until I could get to the liquor store - maybe I should start counting them first...

    NEVER and I mean NEVER let your alcohol supply dwindle.

    CYBERPOOF: IDV dearest, why do you want to know how one 'does' Retroroxy? Surely you have enough in SP at home.
    Greedy bitch.

    I’d like to hear IVD’s explanation too.

    BOXER: Because I now bring all three dogs to my office and it smells like;
    DOG!

    Good point yet dog smells better than Beast.

    PRINCESS: Fresh Daisy Scent...Just the thing for covering up the acrid puking smell of dried youghurt stains. At least that is what I think it is.
    Try as I might there just seems no way of ridding the back seat of "Odour de Houseboy". They assure me that it has been scrubbed and copious amounts of lily of the valley toilet water sprinkled about... But to no avail.
    No sooner has it been cleaned and they're back there spraying youghurt around again...

    Yogurt stains are the bane of Mistress MJ’s existence.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Moonblossom5:34 PM, November 15, 2010

    Of course, the Fast, Cheap and OUT OF CONTROL air freshener! Who wants the slow, expensive and perfectly in control one when they can have this?! Never mind the fabulosity that is the DELUXE version.

    I assume that when you hang it up, the OUT of CONTROL part goes into action and the air freshener springs to life and starts attempting to slice and dice you! Or maybe attack you and try to give you a bad makeup job? Or it just explodes in a plume of smoke that makes your car look like the inside of a meth lab!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Miss Janey5:47 PM, November 15, 2010

    Miss J is inordinately competitive in contests because she feels like she never wins them. So she's comin' out strong & wrong here. What better proof of being fast cheap and out of control than having spent time in jail?

    http://missjaneys.blogspot.com/search/label/the%20hoosegow

    Also, Miss J's car stinks of dog, big time.

    ReplyDelete
  25. normadesmond6:55 PM, November 15, 2010

    Do you use Sphincterine?

    do now.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous7:48 PM, November 15, 2010

    Yogurth stains ... ?
    No.
    The Mistress explained all over and again - just say no, dear Princess! She even moved to the other side, of the country that is.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Mistress8:17 PM, November 15, 2010

    MANDA: Of course, the Fast, Cheap and OUT OF CONTROL air freshener! Who wants the slow, expensive and perfectly in control one when they can have this?! Never mind the fabulosity that is the DELUXE version.
    I assume that when you hang it up, the OUT of CONTROL part goes into action and the air freshener springs to life and starts attempting to slice and dice you! Or maybe attack you and try to give you a bad makeup job? Or it just explodes in a plume of smoke that makes your car look like the inside of a meth lab!

    You really should consider a career in B-movies.

    MISS JANEY: Miss J is inordinately competitive in contests because she feels like she never wins them. So she's comin' out strong & wrong here. What better proof of being fast cheap and out of control than having spent time in jail?
    http://missjaneys.blogspot.com/search/label/the%20hoosegow
    Also, Miss J's car stinks of dog, big time.

    Miss J has just raised the bar.

    NORMADESMOND: Do you use Sphincterine?

    do now.

    Are you feeling minty fresh?

    PRINCESS: Yogurth stains ... ?
    No.
    The Mistress explained all over and again - just say no, dear Princess! She even moved to the other side, of the country that is.

    I don’t want any of you sullying the new Infomaniac headquarters.

    ReplyDelete
  28. FirstNations8:47 PM, November 15, 2010

    FORCRIPESAKES I gave these out as stocking stuffers last damn christmas. For reals, MJ. copybaby, copybaby, copyCAT!

    *pining for tiny fez*

    *synchronizing international clocks with other members of S.P.H.I.N.C.T.E.R and digging pungee trap for BEAST*

    ReplyDelete
  29. The Mistress8:55 PM, November 15, 2010

    NATIONS: FORCRIPESAKES I gave these out as stocking stuffers last damn christmas. For reals, MJ. copybaby, copybaby, copyCAT!
    *pining for tiny fez*
    *synchronizing international clocks with other members of S.P.H.I.N.C.T.E.R and digging pungee trap for BEAST*

    How would I know what you get up to at Christmas in your charming rural idyll? And why didn’t you send one to ME?

    I gave away the last of my tiny fezzes to Tazzy and Piggy.

    I implore you to go ‘round to Beast’s blog and see what he’s up to NOW. Someone has to take control of him before it’s too late.

    ReplyDelete
  30. The Mistress9:03 PM, November 15, 2010

    p.s. to Ms. Nations…

    I don’t think you ever saw the corn dog air freshener I got for you.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Michael Guy11:38 PM, November 15, 2010

    I don't have a car either but my dry cleaners is located next door to a Chinese take-out place.

    If I leave my shirts longer than a week they smell like fried wonton when I pick them up. Hence, the 'freshener' would hang inside my closet or until Asian dudes quit following me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Roses3:45 AM, November 16, 2010

    I think I can safely say this for both CyberPete and myself: we're always willing to help ourselves to champagne.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Ms Scarlet5:24 AM, November 16, 2010

    I am too late... I need something that will make me fast...
    But I nominate Mr Beastie - as Pete said - he is the perfect candidate.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  34. The Mistress6:49 AM, November 16, 2010

    MICHAEL GUY: I don't have a car either but my dry cleaners is located next door to a Chinese take-out place.
    If I leave my shirts longer than a week they smell like fried wonton when I pick them up. Hence, the 'freshener' would hang inside my closet or until Asian dudes quit following me.

    Oh you and your wonton ways.

    ROSES: I think I can safely say this for both CyberPete and myself: we're always willing to help ourselves to champagne.

    Is that another cork I hear popping?

    SCARLET: I am too late... I need something that will make me fast...
    But I nominate Mr Beastie - as Pete said - he is the perfect candidate.

    I agree, Miss Scarlet.

    Although Miss Janey is a strong contender.

    ReplyDelete
  35. hayward7:31 AM, November 16, 2010

    Daisy scent? You'd think she smells of menthol cigarettes, stale beer and hairspray.

    Which reminds me, I need to call my mother today.

    ReplyDelete
  36. The Mistress7:52 AM, November 16, 2010

    HAYWARD: Daisy scent? You'd think she smells of menthol cigarettes, stale beer and hairspray.
    Which reminds me, I need to call my mother today.

    Happy childhood memories, eh Hayward?

    ReplyDelete
  37. The Mistress8:12 AM, November 16, 2010

    BITCHES: Entries to the contest are now closed.

    You will be asked to vote for the contestant of your choice in a new post shortly.

    Thanks to everyone who participated!

    ReplyDelete
  38. BEAST8:21 AM, November 16, 2010

    Well how exciting
    ***waves pants about***

    ReplyDelete
  39. BEAST8:21 AM, November 16, 2010

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

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