Thursday, February 04, 2010

How To Accurately Measure Your Penis



Go on, fellas. Get yer willies out.

Ladies (and I use that term loosely around here) you can help out if you have a partner who’s up to it.

Here’s today's project for you. A do-it-yourself guide for measuring your penis correctly.

When you’ve completed this project, don’t feel pressured to tell us your measurements (oh, g’won, do) but tell us how you got on with this exercise.




Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

22 comments:

  1. Now I have to gouge out both of my eyes. That is the craziest-looking boo-boo I have ever seen on an adult.

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  2. if i get a negative number, does that mean i did it wrong?

    wait. maybe it's a vagina. ew.

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  3. I've measured it and I am in the process of putting up a sign to go with it:

    You must be at least 18 years old to get on this ride.

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  4. All this foolishness about tape measures and string and such. I just haul out the ol' yardstick and measure away.

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  5. How does one "measure" something that gives one such immesurable pleasure?

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  6. It looks just like a penis, only smaller.

    Those who say size doesn't matter are looking down at a small penis.

    Mind you too big isn't much fun either if they guy doesn't know how to drive it.

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  7. cute. How big will it be when it grows up?

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  8. Where is it??? Maybe it needs warming up?
    Sx

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  9. Based on responses given by Michael Rivers, Eroswings and Mr. Peenee, we require photographic evidence.

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  10. Oh jeez, I remember this post and I believe I thought at the time that someone should set up a fund to help this dude out.

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  11. Boxer...BWAH HA AH AHAHHAHAHHHAAA!

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  12. The universally recognised measure of penis length is the Gulp.

    One gulp is average, one and a half is also known as a "stretch", two gulps is impressive, three is a "stryker", and four is called "love".

    I never go anywhere without my gulpometer, and it's open for business right now. So...form a disorderly queue.

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  13. That's not a gulp, it's more of a toothpick! It's not going in my mouth, for no less than £50. I suppose one benefit for having a man-clit is that the bell-end doesn't touch the cold porcelain of a toilet bowl.

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  14. My penis is on display a few posts down if anyone would like to measure it and please no centimeter jokes…

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  15. “Man-clit”…teehee.

    Here’s Ayem8y’s penis for those too lazy to scroll.

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  16. I will never eat a button mushroom again.

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