Saturday, February 20, 2010

Butt-Ugly Boots

So I’m minding my own business this afternoon when I pass by the most butt-ugly rain boots in a shop window …

I recoil in horror and speed up my gait.

Half an hour later, I pass by the shop window once again, this time averting my eyes in an effort to avoid the fugliness.

But this time a crowd has gathered.

Inside the store, an Olympic gold medalist is launching the Canadian-themed boot and acting as the brand ambassador.

According to the gold medalist, the boot is “super comfortable.”

We here at Infomaniac say the boot is “super fugly.”

What say you, bitches?


  1. If only they made a Canadian Leaf Croc®!

  2. I suppose I'll take the Bronze spot as well...

  3. they look like they belong in a japanese monster movie. Like on Ultraman or something. Are the plastic?

  4. They'd be perfect for the Canadian version of the Spice Girls.

    I can't wait for that!

  5. I know what really happened. You'd just finished competing in the "Women's Individual All-Around Anger Management Freestyle" but unfortunately lost, so decided to console yourself with a spot of retail therapy.

    You fell in love with these boots at first sight, rushed into the shop to buy a pair of them, was pipped at the post trying to buy the very last pair (probably by Ponita or Donn) and so took the attitude "Well...well...well I didn't want a pair of them ANYWAY!!! They're horrid!"

    Hence this post. As Sherlock Holmes would say, ah ha! (The Boscombe Valley Mystery)

    I also just saw something called the "Mob Name Generator." If someone's name is already 'Mob' then what the hell is the point of a generator, hmmm?

  6. And kabuki will take a pair - men's size 8. kabuki has small feet. but don't go there. kabuki is equipped for speed, power and luxury. my junk could be a jaguar xkr.

  7. More ugly than a thousand white crocs with the maple leaf gold emblazoned on the tops!

  8. Get yourself a pair, and these too!

    11th. I didn't have my steroids this morning.

  9. Norma and Miss Boxer said it all.

    All I can add is oh no no no no no!


  10. BUT!!! if mj was wearing only these boots and nothing else, i bet they wouldn't be so fugly.... thats all i'm sayin.

  11. They just need some pom-poms to sort of pretty them up.

    So was this gold medalist person blind, by any chance?

  12. You bought them didnt you !
    And now your in denial

  13. Where did all the Clowns go?
    I was so looking forward to the man on the trapeze.

  14. I say take back the gold medal from this Olympian and have her tested for drugs!

    Shame on manufacturer for taking advantage of this poor Olympian! Clearly she has suffered from head trauma in her hockey career! No sane person would wear those...

    ...without the matching gloves and face mask to hide your identity in public.

  15. they're rain boots, sugar! those are supposed to be silly! xoxoxo

  16. I've got to lie down in a darkened room now. Ugh!

    I do wish you wouldn't do this on a sunny Saturday, Mistress, it was going so well too.

  17. Crockey! A true marvel: A collector's item - limited edition!
    Definitely a "must have" for the professional urbanite: Think of all the admiring glances you'll attract while you squeak over the office floors. BEST with a blue frock ...

  18. I will be getting some to wear with my straitjacket

  19. There is absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed about MJ. I've often gone shopping whilst under the influence of strong drugs. I once bought a YSL shirt in canary yellow and a Gene Pitney CD box set whilst ripped to the tits on the demon drink, it's fun!

    Those boots are perfect for everything from walking the dog to stunning the heifers at the abattoir.

  20. Nonsense! They'd go well with your stripey pantyhose.

  21. BITCHES: Mistress MJ must rush off to yet another busy day at work. As a result, she cannot take the time to respond to your individual amusing comments. However, she would like to make a few observations…

    kabuki’s men’s size 8 feet may be on the smallish side (we know some of you women have bigger feet than kabuki’s!) but at least they’re not taking up as much space as Mr. Peenee’s size 13s!

    Welcome back to the wayfaring “Inner Voices”. We thought he’d hung up his blogging shingle but he appears to have made a comeback.

    If you click on the link provided by XL, you’ll see the ubiquitous red mittens that 9/10 sheep, er, people are wearing here in my little corner of the world at this very moment. Even Oprah is in on the act, declaring the mittens the hottest item. No, Mistress MJ does not own a pair. Nor does she have the hideous butt-ugly rain boots! As many as 15,000 crazed shoppers PER DAY are lining up for these mittens and other Olympic swag. Business is so brisk that the Olympic superstore has been forced to stay open 24/7.

    *slaps Ayem8y for mentioning the “C” word*

    Note to KAZ: No one in this part of the world is familiar with the word “Wellies” but yes, they are indeed wellies.

    Note to Mitzi: Yellow does no one any favours. That will teach you to shop stoned.

    *grabs Mitzi’s Gene Pitney CD box set and fecks off, humming Town Without Pity *

    Mistress MJ will now try to visit a few of your blogs before she leaves the house.

    Ta ta for now, bitches.

  22. They look a bit glam rock to me.

  23. Arn't Wellies green?

  24. They just need some bedazzling! I'd say several hundred Swarovski red crystals on the maple leaf would kick it all up a notch. Or down a notch?

  25. I thought I'd stumbled into Ugly Shoe of the Week, which I'm sure MJ reads religiously.

    Except I quite like those boots.

  26. I am desirous of a wolverine smock to scare the girlies with.

    Surely the immense powers of the Canuck trappers can afford such an item?

    I would be chuffed as I could scare girlies.

  27. MJ said: kabuki’s men’s size 8 feet may be on the smallish side...

    Excuse me, but I also have size eight feet (along with one leg shorter than the other, two left hands, two right buttocks, eyes that look in several directions at the same time, and a widening gap in my front teeth), and we cannot help the way we were born. Having smaller feet doesn't make us any less men/human beings you know. As a proud member of the Feet Nations (The Shoe Tribe) I want to know why men with size eight feet weren't represented at the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics. Do I detect a touch of feetism over there?

  28. You know, I just realized, I have a hat that would look great with those boots. Now if we can just find a bag, and no, I don't mean you.

  29. *agrees with Geoff and channels ghost of Marc Bolan; informs Mago that traditionally wellies ARE green but they come in all colours now; Bedazzles Michael Guy’s g-string and pushes him onto go-go podium; questions Kapitano’s taste but yes, I am indeed a long-time fan of the Ugly Shoe of the Week and wondering if I should inform them of this latest abomination; flashes beaver mask at Garfer; inserts handle of handbag in Mob’s tooth gap and insists he hold onto it while I’m shoe shopping; and finally…*

    *plans revenge on Peenee*