Infomaniac Winter Olympics Closing Ceremonies

We wish to thank all the participants in the Infomaniac Winter Olympics.



You really pushed yourselves to do your personal best.







To show our appreciation, we have opened up our back door to reveal …

THE BEER FRIDGE!



A staple in ALL Canadian households.

Help yourselves, bitches!


Note: A special thanks goes out to Eroswings who provided top notch reporting on the 2010 Olympics.

Golden Girls Gone Wild

After winning the Olympic gold medal , the Canadian women's hockey team celebrated by drinking beer, guzzling champagne and smoking cigars … on the ice!









But here’s my favourite bit …

One player was seen by reporters climbing onboard the ice resurfacing machine parked on the ice, honking the horn several times and appearing to try to drive it ...


Wheeeee!!!!!

If you have been paying attention, you will know that it is Mistress MJ’s secret ambition to drive the Zamboni!

Needless to say, this on-ice partying has stirred up controversy.

But we here at Infomaniac say...

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!

Filthy Friday - Thumbs Up Edition

[via Damien at Putting A Tickle In My Pickle]

Have a delightful weekend.

Any plans?

Men Who Pee Sitting Down

Fellas:

Do you pee standing up? You’re a stehpinkeln.

Or do you pee sitting down? Then you’re a sitzpinkler.



MAPSU (Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up) is an organization of “concerned individuals who want to stop peeing standing up, support the victims (those who have to clean up), and prevent unnecessary urine stream fragmentation.”

Urine stream fragmentation? Is this an issue in your household?





The WC Ghost is a voice-alarm that shames German men from standing to pee at the toilet.

"Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don't want any trouble, you'd best sit down," one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating (former) Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.

WC Ghost


So tell us…

Is one method of peeing preferable to another? Is there any advantage in sitting to pee over standing to pee?

If you’ve always done it one way, try it another. Right now! And get back to us with the results.




Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in February Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ may not be responding personally to all your comments.

Erection Party

Hey everybody, let’s have an erection party!

The Female Response

Which one are you? ...


(click to enlarge!)
[via]

Geoduck!

Something to distract you while you’re waiting for Mistress MJ to come back on Wednesday …



(pronounced gooey duck)

Mug Shots

A reminder to enter our Mug Shots Competition.

Voting will take place next week.

Mistress MJ is busy drinking sorting through your entries at the moment and has not had time to respond to your emails, respond to your comments in the last post or visit your blogs.

She will catch up with you as soon as possible.

Talk amongst yourselves in the meantime.

Mug Shots Competition

March into your kitchen immediately, fling open your cupboards and see if you have a mug more hideous than these ones …


(click for maximum hideousity)

If you DO have a mug even more hideous than the ones pictured above, we here at Infomaniac have an assignment for you.

But more about that later.

First, we want to tell you the story behind these mugs.

See these two big poofters? …



They are Tazzy and Piggy: Yorkshire’s Favourite Poofs and veteran Infomaniac readers.

Tazzy and Piggy are responsible for sending these mugs thousands of miles across The Pond to Mistress MJ.

With friends like that …

Anyway, now I think of Tazzy and Piggy every time I brew my cuppa tea and settle in for my nightly viewing of Coronation Street.

Thank you, fellas.

Now back to your assignment, bitches!

Reach into the back of your kitchen cupboard and pull out your most hideous coffee or tea mug.

Photograph your mug and email it to us here at Infomaniac. (Email address in our Blogger Profile.)

We’ll display your MUG SHOTS in a post next week and vote on who has the ugliest mug.

What are you waiting for?

Mug for the camera!

Hockey Night In Canada

The streets of Canada will be deserted tonight.



Do not expect any signs of life from Mistress MJ until Monday.

Choose Your Costume

As participants in the Infomaniac Winter Olympics, you are required to select a uniform from the following two choices:

High heels à la Johnny Weir? …



Or Norwegian curling pants?...

Butt-Ugly Boots

So I’m minding my own business this afternoon when I pass by the most butt-ugly rain boots in a shop window …



I recoil in horror and speed up my gait.

Half an hour later, I pass by the shop window once again, this time averting my eyes in an effort to avoid the fugliness.

But this time a crowd has gathered.

Inside the store, an Olympic gold medalist is launching the Canadian-themed boot and acting as the brand ambassador.

According to the gold medalist, the boot is “super comfortable.”

We here at Infomaniac say the boot is “super fugly.”

What say you, bitches?

Filthy Friday – Greasepaint Edition

Backstage at the Infomaniac Circus, kabuki zero and Felix In Hollywood prepare for another performance …


[via]

Eros On The Slopes

Flanked by a bevy of Infomaniac bitches, Eros prepares for the ride of a lifetime ...



For the most comprehensive and entertaining reportage of those other games, visit Eroswings.

The Infomaniac Winter Olympics

Mob, Beast, Donn (fresh from yesterday's Snowmobile victory) and XL ...


(click to enlarge)

Donn Goes For Gold

When KAZ saw our earlier post picturing three nekkid men on a snowmobile, she responded, “Donn seems to be quite an expert on this topic. Is that him in the middle?”

Spot on, KAZ. Here we see Donn going for the Gold …



The name “Dave” is just meant to throw us off but astute Infomaniac readers know his true identity.

Note the use of the distinctly Canadian interjection “Eh?” at approximately 0:35.

The Infomaniac Winter Olympics

XL: American Gigolo

Astute readers will have noticed that on Valentine’s Day, our friend XL was discovered merrily hopping from blog to blog, asking several women to be his Valentine.

Let’s hear what a couple of our readers had to say about this, shall we?

KAZ: “XL is a cad and a bounder.”

Roses: “XL is a bit of a tart.”

We here at Infomaniac would like others to step forward if they too have been approached by this roving Romeo.

And if so, what can be done about his womanizing ways?

Or should we all share the love?

You decide.

MWAH!

A big kiss from Mistress MJ to you on Valentine’s Day …

Too Turned On?

Try Horny Remover from Japan.

We are thinking much about human body.
Enjoy promoting your health with our healthy goods.



Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

Filthy Friday – Gumming Edition

Beast was whinging and moaning last week about having an archived Filthy Friday so this week we present a brand new Filthy Friday. Enjoy …


[via]

How Good Are You?

In yesterday’s posting we found out how dodgy you are.

Today let’s find out how if there’s any goodness in you at all.

Take the Morality Quiz.


Mistress MJ will be 'round to read your blogs later. She has some self-medicating to do first.

Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

How Dodgy Are You?

Have you ever strolled around your house naked? Or been drunk in a pub?

Then you may be living dangerously.

Take this test and find out how dodgy you are.

Note to our American readers: “Dodgy” is the British slang equivalent of shady/shifty/of questionable character/not to be trusted.



Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

Todger Trauma

Penile perils abound as the following news items so painfully reveal.

At Ease, Soldier!


Typical appearance of a fractured penis


A young married soldier sustained penile fracture secondary to rolling over onto the erect penis whilst asleep in bed.

Surgery was performed and the patient recovered.



With This Ring




A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.

According to the nurse attending, the patient’s girlfriend found the ring in the pocket of his trousers.

She got so angry that she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring onto his penis whilst he slept.



Wee Man Stuck in Hoover



A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or 'Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf', was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E [accident and emergency ward] with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.





Pencil in Penis Backfires


Pencil dick


A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.

Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.

So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.

Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the daily Kurir reported.

Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who succesfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.

"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."



Broken penis


Unless you are an experienced Puppetry of the Penis Master, please treat your meat with respect.

Accidents happen.




Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.

Smut-Free Sunday

Haven’t we had enough smut here for one week?

It’s time to get down on your knees and acknowledge the sacred over the profane.

Take time to appreciate, for example, this wide range of ecclesiastical headgear.



























Note: This is a FEBRUARY FLASHBACK from the Infomaniac Archives. Content in Feburary Flashbacks may be slightly altered from the original posting. We welcome your comments but due to time limitations this month, Mistress MJ will not be responding personally to all your comments.