Here’s your chance to win this sticky notes pad …
High maintenance doesn’t begin to cover it
All you have to do is tell us why you are a high maintenance bitch.
Mistress MJ will post her TOP FIVE favourite entries on Tuesday and you will be asked to vote on your fave.
This will not be easy since you’re ALL high maintenance in my opinion.
Get your entry in before 8:00 p.m. PST (Pacific Standard Time) on Monday, December 7th.
Use this handy World Clock to find out what time that is in your neck of the woods.
Good luck, bitches!
one
ReplyDeleteWhy? OCD to be FIRST!
ReplyDeletedang, XL.
ReplyDeleteI'm just enough of a fussy bitch to NEED to be FIRST.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I don't have time to tell you how high maintenance I am.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHow dare you imply that I'm high maintenance. I'm not high maintenance, I just like attention, Goddammit. GAH!
ReplyDeleteI'm so tired of everyone saying I'm high maintenance. Why is it my fault that I know exactly what I want? GAH!
It's such an insult to be branded high maintenance. And of you don't know why, I'm certainly not going to tell you!
I mean, how could you not know.
GAH!
um hello. I just spent the past two hours looking at all the posts and comments. In that time I was horrified, shocked, bemused and struck by how compleatly amazing this is. I have never blogged before, so I was wondering how I would go about becoming a member. Thanks and MJ (can I call you MJ?) is the houseboy job still open?
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand why everything has to end up with drama and tears. I thought you'd know by now, that I refuse to eat unpeeled grapes and brown m&m's.
ReplyDeleteI mean, IS THAT REALLY SO F*CKING DIFiCULT TO REMEMBER?
Where do you find these no talent bitches! I said breakfast at 7.00, and now it's 7.13. I don't want anything to do with this anymore, I'm going. Goodbye!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
And somebody find my shoes! I need my Choo's!
ReplyDeleteAnd where's my water. I can only have the kind with the electrolytes!
ReplyDeleteIs someone smoking? I can't have anyone smoking within a radius of 500 meters of me! Someone get that man out of here.
What's this? What's happening? Your outfit is so loud the penguins can hear it screaming on the south pole.
You are so full of drama, I need to lay down for a while!
No, no! White silk sheets, not eggshell! I don't do eggshell.
You lot are doing my head in!
ReplyDeleteOh Lord - any of us regular bunch could win this without breaking a sweat....
ReplyDeleteI'd describe how I'm high maintenance - but I'd never get anything else done.
I nominate Kevin from Lisp.
* ear piercing, blood curdling, glass shattering scream *
ReplyDeleteSorry everyone. IDV's gin wasn't pink enough.
This is SP, by the way. IDV is having one of his Elizabeth Taylor moments and refuses to use his own fingers for typing on something so mundane as a keyboard made of plastic (the cut volcanic glass keyboard is in the shop for repairs).
Now, what's this post all about...?
Good Lord Pete just did a frighteningly good impersonation of Mr C on a reasonable day .
ReplyDeleteMy classification of a reasonable day is that he didnt start and end with an extensive list(with ilustrations and diagrams) of my shortcomings .
I am a perfectly reasonable and stable low maintenance person , so I shall sit this one out :-)
Beastie how very dare you use my name!
ReplyDelete*aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh*
*faints*
I need Bollinger and Godiva. NOW!
I'm sorry, I couldn't possibly comment without a drink.
ReplyDelete*nudges Cyberpete with her foot*
When you've finished swooning, will you do cocktails?
This really isn't all about YOU!
Drink!
Oh Hai Boxer and XL!
ReplyDeleteI am not high maintenance at all so will sit this one out.
ReplyDeleteGet Hard...now!
ReplyDeletewell I guess that anons are to lowly to be responded to.... Sorry for taking up space.
ReplyDeleteI won't be entering - I am very low maintenance.
ReplyDeleteOh - apart from my ego that is - which needs a lot of massaging.
I'm sorry too.
BITCHES: I shall return at day's end to tally up the results. You'll vote Tuesday on whatever Mistress MJ deems the top five entries.
ReplyDeleteANONYMOUS: As you can see, Mistress MJ didn't respond to any of her REGULAR bitches previously, let alone YOU. Obviously, Mistress MJ is too busy to deal with ANY of you today, hence her silence thus far.
Now stop sulking, give yourself a name other than Anonymous, and join in if you wish...as long as you refrain from sulking.
You may call me Mistress MJ.
ANONYMOUS: p.s. Your sulking qualifies you as high maintenance.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you'll win the sticky notes!
High maintenance? I am worth it, but don't want to cause inconvenience ...
ReplyDeleteMuhahahaha!!Witness the acendence of the Boggler, ye degenerate fools! No longer am I a sulking Anon! I am confusion personifide!! Kneel!! If that is okay with you, Mistress MJ....
ReplyDelete@ The Blogger: It is traditional for newbies to ask Mistress MJ for a "Welcome Aboard" cake.
ReplyDelete@XL thanks for the heads up. and its boggler not blogger haha. Well Mistress, my I have a "Welcome Aboard" cake?
ReplyDeleteMay*
ReplyDeleteBOGGLER: Welcome to Infomaniac!
ReplyDeleteDid someone mention cake?
BITCHES: Mistress MJ is away for the rest of day shopping for Christmas pressies for The Houseboys.
Please refrain from disorderly conduct in her absence.
Continue on with your entries.
So far, it appears that CyberPete should be voted “Most Desperate to be Queen”.
I thought about entering this for maybe one second before I decided not to associate myself with anything so declasse'. Me? I mean, really, me? I mean this blog is tacky. Look at this blog. The color scheme simply screams 'catatonia'. And whats that horrible smell IS THAT YOU? WHO'S WEARING OLD SPICE? OH MY GOD IS THAT OLD SPICE? I SMELL LIME! Sweet sainted mother of Kylie Minogue *takes out purse-sized Febreeze and brandishes it about like a fire extinguisher* Hello, indoor air pollution anybody? Oh pissbiscuits; does anyone have a Benadryl? Oh wonderful now I'm getting HIVES look at my arms I'm getting HIVES OH NOW MY LIFE IS TOTALLY COMPLETE I HAVE HIVES OH GREAT! JUST GREAT! Well I'm ready for my closeup now aren't I? I can feel my throat swelling shut I swear to God COME ON WITH THE BENADRYL PEOPLE; I KNOW SOMEONE HAS SOME heaven knows you're all ready to whip out the poppers and condoms at a moments notice in this sinkhole COME ON, AND A BOTTLED WATER TOO PLEASE no I do not want a glass of water, is that TAP WATER? HELLO? CANADIAN TAP WATER? REALLY? REALLY????? *slaps glass out of houseboy's hand and collapses into tears* Nobody worry about me! I'll just find myself a dirty old corner and curl up and suffocate to death on department store aftershave fumes, don't mind me! *snif* just lay me out right here on the downmarket berber OH LORDY WHAT IN THE NAME OF GUMBY AND POKEY IS UP WITH THIS CARPET? Is this a color found in nature? Do you raise puppies? What is this color? We need to talk about this color. Well we would except my trachea is closing. COULD WE SNAP IT UP WITH THE BENADRYL LADIES? AND A CASCADE SPRINGS? And a slice of lemon?
ReplyDeleteHow very dare you Roses!
ReplyDeleteNow fetch me a cocktail, stat!
FN - skip this Benadryl-poison and have some Benzedrine.
ReplyDeleteCyberpete, sweetie, I don't mix cocktails, I just open the bottle.
ReplyDeleteI gave up waiting for you to be bartender and opened a bottle of red.
Want some?
Mago?
I'm not really high maintenance. I just need everything to go my way or someone gets hurt really bad.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely!
ReplyDeleteA glass of red would be lovel.. *aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!*
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T MIX COCKTAILS!?!
I *NEED* a gin martini!
*faints*
ReplyDeleteI'm low maintenance.
ReplyDeleteThe lower the better.
I think you need to extend the deadline - anyway I am banned as usual. Also what is it with America or wherever you live having a different timezone? Change to UK time it suits me better - you will all get used to it soon enough...
ReplyDeleteI'd really like to participate in your quaint contest but I don't like to keep Soo Yee waiting at the nail bar...
ReplyDeleteweekly professional massages so I can glide about in three inch stilettos on a daily basis; daily remedial from husband. Need to know more? Visit my blog. There's a reason it's called smalltown adultery.
ReplyDeleteI'm the only cop who has a maid. 'nuff said.
ReplyDeleteBITCHES: Thanks to everyone who entered and commented.
ReplyDeleteWe’ll soon have the final five contestants posted!
Upon morning IV resuscitation from my hyperbaric tube, I’m wheeled into the beauty chamber where I receive youthful injections made from the essence of boys then wrapped in mudpacks infused with yak placenta, sheep urine and bee venom.
ReplyDeleteFrom there I’m rolled onto a table where I receive life giving blood transfusions from small infants mixed with vodka. Then it’s off to my couturier and some sort of creation involving rare extinct animal plumage and human skin.
Make-up vault is next where an army of trained clinicians pluck, preen and powder me within an inch of my life. Then I’m off in a ambulance to have lunch with the ladies that involves loads of alcohol and amino acids for nutrition.
Then it’s back to the hyperbaric chamber and the whole process starts anew for dinner time…
I know, I know I am disqualified. I just thought you might enjoy a glimpse into my simple daily routine.
AYEM8Y: You could have been a contender!
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well, looky what La Diva's missed! As long as I have my al-kee-hol, I am NOT high maintenance!
ReplyDeleteBut, darlings, I really HATE living up to your expectations so I would vote for JILL!!! She be bitch number one royal dowager empress in high maintenance!!!
LA DIVA CUCINA: Jill has raised the bar on high maintenance!
ReplyDelete