Frankly, after the fiasco that was last year’s Christmas Office Party, we are NOT attempting to throw such a bash again. Who can forget when Geoff tried to Xerox his arse and fell through the glass?
Instead, let’s all take a trip to the salon and have our hair done!
C’mon. It’ll be fun!
Cocktails will be served! …
Yes, of course men are welcome! …
We’ve got all the latest gossip magazines …
And if that isn’t enough, you can gossip about all the other bloggers! …
And do you know what that dreadful whore Ayem8y did next?
Our more hirsute bitches (like Donn, below) may wish to take advantage of the salon’s esthetics services …
Ms. Nations might want to consider a Brazilian ...
Do you have a problem with unwanted hair “down there”? Then book an appointment for a personalized “back, sack and crack” wax! …
Esthetician Old Knudsen treats Manuel to special hair removal technique
Hint to the matronly Mr. Frobisher (below, left)…
Take advantage of our free makeovers! …
Mr. Peenee, put that cigarette out! …
Our two newest Infomaniac bitches, Lord Boggler (standing) and Princess Steff (seated and temporarily blogless) are enjoying an Herbal Essence moment …
Ooooo…harder, Lord Boggler
UPDATE: Princess Steff now has a blog! Visit Palais de Steff.
Why, even Beast is looking his best! …
So come along now. Our shampoo girl Mitzi is ready for you …
Don’t worry. Mitzi’s been training for years …
There’s just one rule we MUST enforce …
No hairpulling! Yes, I’m talking to YOU, Leah! …
Enjoy your Christmas hair party, bitches!
how i can i be first?
ReplyDeleteis that really what donn looks like? i mean the balls hanging out of the shorts part.
ReplyDeleteand ms. nations, why can't we get her on a stamp? i think that photo would look heavenly on a parcel post.
Good gawd! A Brazilian? You're going to need the entire South American population to cut down that Amazon rainforest!
ReplyDeleteWow! Old Knudsen really gets down in his work. So thorough!
There are so many things going on in this post I don't know where to start!! LOL.
ReplyDeleteI will say, there is nothing like a day at the salon with the girls! Bring my coffee and magazine. I'm ready for a pedicure!
Hair clippings on the pillows ...
ReplyDeletethe horror ... the horror ... the horror ...
I'm actually waiting for the Vodka Christmas Party, but while I wait I'll sit down for some gossip.
ReplyDeleteoh hai XL!
I wish I could but I don't want to.
ReplyDeleteOh hai XL and Miss Boxer, have a lovely day at the salon.
Old Knudsen has obviously taken the events leading up to my latest sacking from Cafe C to heart and is being extra vigilante in his search for brown grapes.Miss Nations bush is looking spectacular as ever , I wonder if she decorates it for Xmas ??
ReplyDeleteand yet, no mention of the 4th place (aka loser) high maintenance bitch?
ReplyDeletethat's fine.
i didn't want to win anyway. who wants to be known as high maintenance.
now, if you wanna hear any good goss about the actual "winners" of the HMB contest, meet me by the hairdryers in 10...or 15...or whatever. look, if you're not there, you'll never know.
now, move! ayem8y is under the mistletoe and alone!
I'm still in shock.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe Manuel would wear white socks.
That's disgraceful.
As it's a party, lets break out the bubbly!
Oh hai Cyberpete, XL and Boxer.
My wig has been stolen! I couldn't find it anywhere last weekend.
ReplyDeleteI might have to have a root perm and do some furious back-combing for Xmas.
Is that a tray of mulled wine and mince pies I spy???
What, not even one little tug?
ReplyDelete..and I would like a mince pie please. I've never tasted one but have always thought it sounds just mincy.
Dear Mistress
ReplyDeleteI believe that Ms Nations healthy bush styling is what is known in my circles as a "Bosnian" as opposed to a "Brazillian"
After last night on the beach with Mr Knudsen I can personally reccommend his back sack and crack waxing. He may have some very unorthodox methods but my goodness With such an incredible tongue he got into all my difficult nooks and crannies! I'm as smooth as silk cashmere.
Oh..and Lord Blogger. If that's a depilitary cream you are using on my golden tresses... Prepare for the bitch slapping of your life!!
I have a degree in pubic topiary if Miss Nations is interested? I have a way with spangles and sequins. I have very flexible wrists.
ReplyDeleteSx
NORMADESMOND: how i can i be first?
ReplyDeleteIs this your first first?
NORMADESMOND: is that really what donn looks like? i mean the balls hanging out of the shorts part.
and ms. nations, why can't we get her on a stamp? i think that photo would look heavenly on a parcel post.
As this song so aptly sums it up, Donn believes in letting it all hang out.
Donn got the memo about Casual Fridays and thought it applied to the entire week.
It’s a far cry from his halcyon days when he sported a red bow tie.
As for Ms. Nations on a postage stamp, they had better be the self-adhesive kind because Mistress MJ sure as hell isn’t going to lick it!
EROS: Good gawd! A Brazilian? You're going to need the entire South American population to cut down that Amazon rainforest!
Wow! Old Knudsen really gets down in his work. So thorough!
Ms. Nations has an astonishing number of garden implements in her tool shed along with dwarves being used as slave labour.
Problem solved.
MICHAEL RIVERS: There are so many things going on in this post I don't know where to start!! LOL.
I will say, there is nothing like a day at the salon with the girls! Bring my coffee and magazine. I'm ready for a pedicure!
Ready for a pedi?
XL: Hair clippings on the pillows ...
ReplyDeletethe horror ... the horror ... the horror ...
Well do something ABOUT it, dammit!
BOXER: I'm actually waiting for the Vodka Christmas Party, but while I wait I'll sit down for some gossip.
Isn’t every day a vodka party for you?
CYBERPOOF: I wish I could but I don't want to.
But Miss Roses has champers.
BEAST: Old Knudsen has obviously taken the events leading up to my latest sacking from Cafe C to heart and is being extra vigilante in his search for brown grapes.Miss Nations bush is looking spectacular as ever , I wonder if she decorates it for Xmas ??
Beware of Ms. Nations’ tampon angel.
KEVIN: and yet, no mention of the 4th place (aka loser) high maintenance bitch?
that's fine.
i didn't want to win anyway. who wants to be known as high maintenance.
now, if you wanna hear any good goss about the actual "winners" of the HMB contest, meet me by the hairdryers in 10...or 15...or whatever. look, if you're not there, you'll never know.
now, move! ayem8y is under the mistletoe and alone!
Didn’t you get ENOUGH publicity last week?
*mutters offstage about High Maintenance bitches and their impossible demands*
ROSES: I'm still in shock.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe Manuel would wear white socks.
That's disgraceful.
As it's a party, lets break out the bubbly!
Fortunately, Manuel is away for a few days and isn’t here to see what I’ve done with that pic from his private collection.
FROBI: My wig has been stolen! I couldn't find it anywhere last weekend.
I might have to have a root perm and do some furious back-combing for Xmas.
Is that a tray of mulled wine and mince pies I spy???
We found your wig.
I see you’re holding in your stomach which says to me that you don’t need any damn mince pies.
LEAH: What, not even one little tug?
..and I would like a mince pie please. I've never tasted one but have always thought it sounds just mincy.
We know all about your little hairpulling fetish and refuse to indulge your perversities.
You can have Mr. Frobisher’s mince pie.
His waistline simply can’t handle another.
PRINCESS: Dear Mistress
I believe that Ms Nations healthy bush styling is what is known in my circles as a "Bosnian" as opposed to a "Brazillian"
After last night on the beach with Mr Knudsen I can personally reccommend his back sack and crack waxing. He may have some very unorthodox methods but my goodness With such an incredible tongue he got into all my difficult nooks and crannies! I'm as smooth as silk cashmere.
Oh..and Lord Blogger. If that's a depilitary cream you are using on my golden tresses... Prepare for the bitch slapping of your life!!
After going on about your being “smooth as silk cashmere” after Old Knudsen’s treatment, Lord Boggler assumed you wanted matching collar and cuffs.
SCARLET: I have a degree in pubic topiary if Miss Nations is interested? I have a way with spangles and sequins. I have very flexible wrists.
And yet you can’t tame your own unruly bush!
I want an Herbal Essence moment!! I'll settle for a Brazilian if I have to...but I'll have to wait for two day since that's how long it will take First Nations to get hers done. DAMMIT!!!
ReplyDeleteOooooh I'm so traumatised
ReplyDeleteRANDOM: I want an Herbal Essence moment!! I'll settle for a Brazilian if I have to...but I'll have to wait for two day since that's how long it will take First Nations to get hers done. DAMMIT!!!
ReplyDeleteWe have a nice hot Brazilian awaiting you.
Notice as you scroll down that he’s having some manscaping done!
Pull baby pull!
ReplyDeleteJELLY MONSTER: Oooooh I'm so traumatised
ReplyDeleteAND you snuck in the back door while my back was turned!
MAGO: Pull baby pull!
Don’t make me make you wish you hadn’t said that.
Sorry MJ
ReplyDeleteGoing to the hairdressers is a nightmare for me.
Can we have a dentist's party please?
Picture 4 is exactly why I always take so long getting ready for work in the mornings.
ReplyDeleteKAZ: Sorry MJ
ReplyDeleteGoing to the hairdressers is a nightmare for me.
Can we have a dentist's party please?
Getting you to come to our hair party is like pulling teeth!
IVD: Picture 4 is exactly why I always take so long getting ready for work in the mornings.
That and the fact that you can’t get your boyfriend’s cock out of your mouth.
Thats all very well and good thats all I can say... but I would like some tips for lonely people at xmas.
ReplyDeleteMUTLEY: Thats all very well and good thats all I can say... but I would like some tips for lonely people at xmas.
ReplyDeleteIf you wear your lime green boxer shorts outdoors, we can assure you you’ll attract new friends.
Why don’t you call on Miss Mu over the holidays?
By the looks of it, she has a head start on the festivities.
Soapy tit wanks are extra!
ReplyDeleteWhen's the party over?
ReplyDeleteMITZI: Soapy tit wanks are extra!
ReplyDeleteOpportunist!
CYBERPOOF: When's the party over?
We’re here all Thursday.
I must say this is the best Beauty parlor/Christmas party I have ever been to.
ReplyDeleteHaving my pubic hair shampoo set in a Marcel finger wave while Mitzi soap wanked my tities was heaven.
Caught up with Kevin/Shirley on the latest dirty whoring details of my sex life...did you know that Kevin/Shirley makes out with very handsome men who are alone under mistletoe?
Don’t tell Poodle!
I always assumed that he that he put -out under camel toes...but mistletoe?
My stars...
Dear Mistress
ReplyDeleteI trust that you will be pleased to note that Palais de Steff has been Tastefully launched. I would like to throw a small soiree to celebrate but do not wish to impinge on the Mistress' 'Minge and Mop" do, as everyone seems to be having such a hair-raising/removing experience!
Have you any advice on when I may invite you and my fellow bitches over for some "Down Under" hijinx?
As you know, I have Houseboys available to service all needs (when not servicing each other) and I am sure that Grandfather and Mr Knudsen will have much in commen to discuss.
I shall await your instructions, but must now return to the hair driers as I see a lovely gentlman waving his willy at me.
AYEM8Y: I must say this is the best Beauty parlor/Christmas party I have ever been to.
ReplyDeleteHaving my pubic hair shampoo set in a Marcel finger wave while Mitzi soap wanked my tities was heaven.
Caught up with Kevin/Shirley on the latest dirty whoring details of my sex life...did you know that Kevin/Shirley makes out with very handsome men who are alone under mistletoe?
Don’t tell Poodle!
I always assumed that he that he put -out under camel toes...but mistletoe?
My stars...
Oh, it’s that filthy whore, Ayem8y.
*notices line forming down the block as Ayem8y feigns looking demure under mistletoe*
PRINCESS: Dear Mistress
I trust that you will be pleased to note that Palais de Steff has been Tastefully launched. I would like to throw a small soiree to celebrate but do not wish to impinge on the Mistress' 'Minge and Mop" do, as everyone seems to be having such a hair-raising/removing experience!
Have you any advice on when I may invite you and my fellow bitches over for some "Down Under" hijinx?
As you know, I have Houseboys available to service all needs (when not servicing each other) and I am sure that Grandfather and Mr Knudsen will have much in commen to discuss.
I shall await your instructions, but must now return to the hair driers as I see a lovely gentlman waving his willy at me.
Welcome to the world of blogging!
May we suggest a cocktail party?
With houseboys at our beck and call?
Mr. Knudsen will be unable to attend as he has quite a lot on his plate at the moment but I’m sure some of our older gentlemen will be lured by the invitation of free drink and dick.
That’s Ayem8y waving his willy about again, isn’t it?
I hate to admit it, but I feel right at home here in the land of Satan's misfit toys.
ReplyDeleteThat's not a typo :)
DONN: I hate to admit it, but I feel right at home here in the land of Satan's misfit toys.
ReplyDeleteThat's not a typo :)
You certainly LOOK like you’ve made yourself right at home!
*averts eyes from swimsuit area*
Push baby push!
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Push baby push!
ReplyDeleteTroublemaker.