‘Tis the season to shop for the Houseboys’ gifts.
Not that they deserve it.
Every time Mistress MJ’s back is turned, they’re up to their usual hijinks …
Nonetheless, we can’t bear to see their disappointed angelic faces under the Christmas tree if Santa doesn’t come.
So help a bitch out.
98 per cent of the Houseboys are as queer as queer can be.
I haven’t a clue what to get them for Christmas this year.
Lord knows they have every Madonna CD.
And no one needs another rainbow key fob or leather daddy teddy bear.
What great gay gifts can you suggest?
And what are you getting the gays in your life?
UPDATE:
Mistress MJ loves this gift suggestion from Felix in Hollywood …
Perhaps some condoms, astroglide, and neckerchiefs to complete their gay apparel! And some lollipops. I hear they like to suck on hard candy!
ReplyDeletewell, my SIL called today to say she had bought our BIL (my brother's husband) a Broadway show tune book.
ReplyDeleteIt really doesn't get any gay-er than THAT.
Second!!!
EROS: Perhaps some condoms, astroglide, and neckerchiefs to complete their gay apparel! And some lollipops. I hear they like to suck on hard candy!
ReplyDeleteWe think they’d like some of YOUR hard candy, cowboy.
BOXER: well, my SIL called today to say she had bought our BIL (my brother's husband) a Broadway show tune book.
It really doesn't get any gay-er than THAT.
Mistress MJ is not sure she can take night after night of the Houseboys’ falsetto as they work their way through the Jersey Boys.
Tight mesh shirts, biker shorts, and handcuffs. I can supply the handcuffs. So mistress, any thoughts on the resident asskicker/facesmasher position?
ReplyDeleteLook at the dust under that couch! They've obviously been indulging in too much hard candy and slacking off on their houseboy duties.
ReplyDeleteAs a gay I would like to put an order in for 48 hours with Dwayne Johnson......... thank you.
ReplyDeleteThe houseboys deserve nothing - look at that dust!!
BOGGLER: Tight mesh shirts, biker shorts, and handcuffs. I can supply the handcuffs. So mistress, any thoughts on the resident asskicker/facesmasher position?
ReplyDeleteLove the handcuffs.
You’re on probation as Official Arsekicker/Bodyguard.
PONITA: Look at the dust under that couch! They've obviously been indulging in too much hard candy and slacking off on their houseboy duties.
Better to have dust under the couch than cobwebs in their crotches!
DAMIEN: As a gay I would like to put an order in for 48 hours with Dwayne Johnson......... thank you.
The houseboys deserve nothing - look at that dust!!
As a Jew, you get nothing for Christmas.
Ha!
No Dwayne Johnson for YOU!
This little Jew is commencing a sit in.
ReplyDeleteI have to cope with all that christmas crap year after year - I deserve 48 hours with DJ.
Sit in to commence.................. now.
DAMIEN: This little Jew is commencing a sit in.
ReplyDeleteI have to cope with all that christmas crap year after year - I deserve 48 hours with DJ.
Sit in to commence.................. now.
Where is LEAH, our other token Jew?
*tosses bag of chocolate Hanukkah gelt at Damien*
MJ said...
ReplyDeleteDAMIEN: This little Jew is commencing a sit in.
I have to cope with all that christmas crap year after year - I deserve 48 hours with DJ.
Sit in to commence.................. now.
Where is LEAH, our other token Jew?
*tosses bag of chocolate Hanukkah gelt at Damien*
------Ignores bag of chocolate in spite of genetic addiction to it......
........sit in continues......
DAMIEN: *laffs because Mistress MJ is shutting down the PC now and won’t be back online for oh, say …nine or ten hours … by which time you’ll be tucked away in your little bed*
ReplyDeleteteehee
Enjoy your sit-in.
*spins dreidel between Damien’s legs*
Is that really your living room? Poor houseboys!
ReplyDeleteThe new Kylie live album Live in NY is out on digital download now.
I fucking HATE Madonna.
ReplyDeleteAnd I went off Kylie years ago. Only those foreigner type poofs still like her.
Houseboys!!!!
ReplyDelete(Tears and now screaming with rage)
Don't dare talk to me about houseboys. (Dirty sly little shaggers!)
Just this very morning they turned my Grand Ballroom onto a Grand Mirrorball Ballroom...
(seething with disgust)
They deserve nothing but each other for Christmas....
Oh... I see they're getting that already. Oops
I shall have to re think that one!
You could make them a dressing up box from all your cast off old clothes and makeup.........they would love that
ReplyDelete***wallops Piggy as he tries to filch MJ's old pantyhose***
and dont think I havn't noticed that disgraceful rug Miss MJ
ReplyDeleteDamien,
ReplyDeleteMay I ask whom or what you are sitting in?
I hope it 's not a tub full of houseboys!
"What great gay gifts can you suggest?"
ReplyDeleteWell I would suggest some clothes for starters.
Maybe some posing straps and feather dusters and blood tests.
"And what are you getting the gays in your life?"
They've all been really naughty this year.
I’m thinking of Scrooging them all off.
And maybe blood tests.
You mean you're not buying them the underwear pictured below?
ReplyDeleteIf they don't dust under the couch soon, threaten them with that.
If they're being good, I'd recommend this:
http://www.escentual.com/nuxe/nuxe03/
(sorry, after all these years I still haven't figured out how to embed links)
with the 2 santas the sweet creamy filling, who are the cookies? could they be reservitz & goldberg, the ambulance chasing chanukah fuckers?
ReplyDeleteShhh! I'm giving each of the Houseboys Canadian Tea Cozies!
ReplyDeleteI don't think MJ's 'rug' has ever been anything BUT a disgrace.
ReplyDeleteP&T - If we're not talking furnishings I would like to know how you know that :) ?
ReplyDeleteGet them anything with Veronica Cartwright in it.
ReplyDeleteThat woman is just fabulous!
Take a visit to clonezone for all your boys needs. Buy them each a rubber gash flashlight. The sailor's favourite, which the manufacturers claim is "Better than the real thing". At £19.99 that's got to be the bargain of the century.
ReplyDeleteI'm in a quandary as to what I can buy a female couple I know, who enjoy playing the hairy harmonica, I'll put it no stronger than that.
slip a sable under the tree
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Is that really your living room? Poor houseboys!
ReplyDeleteThe new Kylie live album Live in NY is out on digital download now.
The photo was taken at the STD clinic.
Oh, and see comment from that rubbish gay Piggy.
PIGGY: I fucking HATE Madonna.
And I went off Kylie years ago. Only those foreigner type poofs still like her.
You’re a rubbish gay.
STEPH: Houseboys!!!!
(Tears and now screaming with rage)
Don't dare talk to me about houseboys. (Dirty sly little shaggers!)
Just this very morning they turned my Grand Ballroom onto a Grand Mirrorball Ballroom...
(seething with disgust)
They deserve nothing but each other for Christmas....
Oh... I see they're getting that already. Oops
I shall have to re think that one!
It is time for you to stop all of your sobbing.
Oh by the way, you are now an Official Infomaniac Bitch.
To seal the deal, you must send Mistress MJ a photo of your bare arse and you’ll be immortalized here with the rest of my male bitches.
BEAST: You could make them a dressing up box from all your cast off old clothes and makeup.........they would love that
***wallops Piggy as he tries to filch MJ's old pantyhose***
Egads…I thought you said ‘felch’.
BEAST: and dont think I havn't noticed that disgraceful rug Miss MJ
It’s the rug at the STD clinic.
Which is an improvement over your horrid fireside rug.
STEPH: Damien,
ReplyDeleteMay I ask whom or what you are sitting in?
I hope it 's not a tub full of houseboys!
Since he was crowned Mr. Nude Infomaniac, DAMIEN has been playing hard to get.
He is ignoring your shameless flirting….for now.
Try dangling some chocolate Hannukah gelt in front of him.
AYEM8Y: "What great gay gifts can you suggest?"
Well I would suggest some clothes for starters.
Maybe some posing straps and feather dusters and blood tests.
"And what are you getting the gays in your life?"
They've all been really naughty this year.
I’m thinking of Scrooging them all off.
And maybe blood tests.
A posing strap just like yours?
You know I couldn’t resist that link, don’t you?
ROSES: You mean you're not buying them the underwear pictured below?
If they don't dust under the couch soon, threaten them with that.
If they're being good, I'd recommend this:
http://www.escentual.com/nuxe/nuxe03/
(sorry, after all these years I still haven't figured out how to embed links)
We have done the honours of embedding your link here.
Is that a product that you use, Miss Roses?
You should ask EROSWINGS how to embed. He’s full of tricks.
Oh, and Eros looks better than Robert Downey Jr. when Eros half nekkid. Bonus!
NORMADESMOND: with the 2 santas the sweet creamy filling, who are the cookies? could they be reservitz & goldberg, the ambulance chasing chanukah fuckers?
We’ll never know as they have nowhere to store their business cards.
XL: Shhh! I'm giving each of the Houseboys Canadian Tea Cozies!
With you off on hols in Australia, we were expecting cork hats.
PIGGY: I don't think MJ's 'rug' has ever been anything BUT a disgrace.
ReplyDeleteShut it.
DAMIEN: P&T - If we're not talking furnishings I would like to know how you know that :) ?
Don’t ask.
IVD: Get them anything with Veronica Cartwright in it.
That woman is just fabulous!
Was she in Star Trek Deep Space Nine?
Since that’s the only show you watch, she must have been.
MITZI: Take a visit to clonezone for all your boys needs. Buy them each a rubber gash flashlight. The sailor's favourite, which the manufacturers claim is "Better than the real thing". At £19.99 that's got to be the bargain of the century.
I'm in a quandary as to what I can buy a female couple I know, who enjoy playing the hairy harmonica, I'll put it no stronger than that.
Thank you, Mitzi.
It’s one-stop-shopping at Clonezone!
The “sailor’s favourite” is actually our friend Inexplicable Device (IVD)…
See for yourself here why IVD is every sailor’s dreamboat.
Hairy harmonica players need nothing more than flannel shirts and tickets to Lilith Fair to make them happy.
JASON: slip a sable under the tree
Mistress MJ was singing these words just yesterday!
It’s been almost a year since we lost our Miss Eartha.
*sniffle*
How about the Dreamgirls DVD?
ReplyDeletea sable, a convertible, a yacht, a platinum mine, a duplex with checks (for the mortgage I assume), trim my tree (sexual favors are always welcome), and a house on a finger/Kobe special.
ReplyDeleteFROBI: How about the Dreamgirls DVD?
ReplyDeleteRumours are flying that you performed the entire soundtrack of Dreamgirls to an enthralled audience throwing bouquets at the ‘Crap Bingo with Mavis” cabaret night.
Is this so?
JILL: a sable, a convertible, a yacht, a platinum mine, a duplex with checks (for the mortgage I assume), trim my tree (sexual favors are always welcome), and a house on a finger/Kobe special.
We would expect nothing less from one of our High Maintenance Queens.
How about underwear for men and boys?
ReplyDeleteThe depths of my depravity know no boundaries. Upon viewing the procession on the floor, all that my caffeine addled mind could muster was a memory of the little engine that could.
ReplyDeleteI think I can
I think I can
I think I can
oops I think I did!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteRANDOM: How about underwear for men and boys?
ReplyDeleteYes, we can!
DONN: The depths of my depravity know no boundaries. Upon viewing the procession on the floor, all that my caffeine addled mind could muster was a memory of the little engine that could.
I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
oops I think I did!
TWICE!
STEFF: I’ve been spelling your name incorrectly… forgive me!
STEFF/STEPH: Wait a minute...
ReplyDeleteI've seen you spell it BOTH ways.
Which do you prefer?
Perhaps the little cherubs would enjoy whiling away the day playing a game.
ReplyDeleteAnd perhaps this one might work.
http://manbound.net/product.php?sku=SS950-16
FELIX: Perhaps the little cherubs would enjoy whiling away the day playing a game.
ReplyDeleteAnd perhaps this one might work.
http://manbound.net/product.php?sku=SS950-16
Oh what fun!
*claps hands excitedly*
We’ve updated our post to show this exciting game.
So happy to have put the question to rest for you.
ReplyDeleteThe Holiday season is busy enough without extra worries.
FELIX: So happy to have put the question to rest for you.
ReplyDeleteThe Holiday season is busy enough without extra worries.
The Houseboys are literally TINGLING with excitement!
(They've already unwrapped it...the little imps)
Everyone is all aglow chez Infomaniac.
*air kisses!*
Piggy certainly is a rubbish gay!
ReplyDeleteAs for the Dreamgirls DVD, honey nobodys that gay
I have a spare feather boa if anyone's interested?
ReplyDeleteOr does anyone fancy a devon cream tea? With extra cream obviously.
Sx
Surely what most houseboys want is...
ReplyDelete...a new houseboy!
Someone blond and nieve. Someone they can fight over to be the one to take him under their wing. If "wing" is the right word.
'Cos if there's two things gheyblokes like, it's new boys and old scores.
(And scoring with new boys.)
A miniature helicopter.
ReplyDeleteMen are 12. We like practical gifts.
I'm getting Olga from Volgograd: cracking bird.
Anns Karenin she is not, but she does have speed bumps.
Ha! That bum ring toss is a great gift idea?
ReplyDeleteMaybe my beast would like it?
CYBERPOOF: Piggy certainly is a rubbish gay!
ReplyDeleteAs for the Dreamgirls DVD, honey nobodys that gay
YOU are!
SCARLET: I have a spare feather boa if anyone's interested?
Or does anyone fancy a devon cream tea? With extra cream obviously.
We’re just happy to see you again.
Perhaps you could do your fan dance for us?
KAPI: Surely what most houseboys want is...
...a new houseboy!
Someone blond and nieve. Someone they can fight over to be the one to take him under their wing. If "wing" is the right word.
'Cos if there's two things gheyblokes like, it's new boys and old scores.
(And scoring with new boys.)
Shall we wrap you up and throw you to the Houseboys?
GARFY: A miniature helicopter.
Men are 12. We like practical gifts.
I'm getting Olga from Volgograd: cracking bird.
Anns Karenin she is not, but she does have speed bumps.
Did she show you round her snow-peaked mountains way down south?
And take you to her daddy’s farm?
Let us hear her balalaikas ringing out
Come and keep your Garfer warm.
MISS SMUGGERSHAM: Ha! That bum ring toss is a great gift idea?
Maybe my beast would like it?
Welcome back, Miss Smuggersham!
We have so much catching up to do.
Have you heard that IVD has a MAN? And that he’s living with him in smug marriedness?
And he claims to have given up trolling the docks for sailors?
I know. I don’t believe that part either.
Dear Mistress
ReplyDeleteI'm an easy girl to please (but don't let the other bitches know)
Steff or Steph? That's a difficult question but I have an easy answer.
Just call me... (giggles coyly whilst batting eyelashes and smiling sweetly up at Mistress)....
"Princess"
Ps I had my first intercourse with Mr Knudsen last night. It was wonderful just, wonderful rolling on the beach and getting soooo wet. And the things that he asked me to do well, they made me blush a little at first but did manage to accomodate his every wish!
PRINCESS: Dear Mistress
ReplyDeleteI'm an easy girl to please (but don't let the other bitches know)
Steff or Steph? That's a difficult question but I have an easy answer.
Just call me... (giggles coyly whilst batting eyelashes and smiling sweetly up at Mistress)....
"Princess"
Ps I had my first intercourse with Mr Knudsen last night. It was wonderful just, wonderful rolling on the beach and getting soooo wet. And the things that he asked me to do well, they made me blush a little at first but did manage to accomodate his every wish!
Easy to please but not easy, we might add.
You’re a princess amongst (big ole) queens here at Infomaniac.
It is just a matter of time before every gal hops aboard the Knudsen Love Train Express … if they want to get into Heaven.
A word in your ear … you are also competing with Donn for Old Knudsen’s affections.
Dear Mistress.
ReplyDeleteWhy compete?
A threesome might be nice.
PRINCESS STEFF: Dear Mistress.
ReplyDeleteWhy compete?
A threesome might be nice.
You would like to be the meat in an Old Knudsen/Donn sandwich?