Sunday, December 20, 2009

Daddy

Are you bitches still out shopping for Mistress MJ’s Christmas pressies?

Remember: You oughta get the best for me …

32 comments:

  1. I am shopping for a very extra special present for The Mistress! No luck yet though. :(

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  2. 2nd!

    again *sigh*

    xoxoxo

    Oh Hai, xl!

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  3. i donated a heifer in y'all's name, sugar! ;~D xoxoxox

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  4. MJ's a cute little heifer!

    Oh Hai Savannah!

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  5. Oh lordy, XL! Did you just call MJ a cow!?!?!?!?

    You'd better run... and fast!

    By the way...

    Oh Hai, XL and Savannah!

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  6. I'm not your daddy.

    You are old enough to be my grandmother

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  7. It's all about staircases ...

    Pete, I fear you'll visit the plaid room.

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  8. Christmas presents? You mean it's christmas?!

    Bugger.

    Someone fly me to the moon to escape this wretched season of panic-buying and shortened tempers.

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  9. Was she related to the boxer Brian London?

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  10. XL: I am shopping for a very extra special present for The Mistress! No luck yet though. :(

    Mistress MJ hopes the words “cork hat” are not on that list.

    SAVANNAH: i donated a heifer in y'all's name, sugar!

    See to it that it’s served to me with grilled artichokes, roasted new carrots and potatoes and a full-bodied Rioja.

    XL: MJ's a cute little heifer!

    Don’t you have some shopping to do?

    PONITA: Oh lordy, XL! Did you just call MJ a cow!?!?!?!?
    You'd better run... and fast!


    That’s nothing compared to what Piggy’s called me over the years.

    Thankfully he’s too busy renovating his blog for the umpteenth time to visit.

    MICHAEL RIVERS: What a fun song!! Love it.

    We’re happy to oblige.

    Now where’s my pressie?

    CYBERPOOF: I'm not your daddy.
    You are old enough to be my grandmother


    Since I changed your nappies when you were a baby, it’s time for you to change mine.

    MAGO: It's all about staircases ...
    Pete, I fear you'll visit the plaid room.


    Feel free to descend the staircase, carrying my pressies.

    IVD: Christmas presents? You mean it's christmas?!
    Bugger.
    Someone fly me to the moon to escape this wretched season of panic-buying and shortened tempers.


    As Infomaniac’s resident witch, don’t you have access to all sorts of time and space travel equipment?

    GEOFF: Was she related to the boxer Brian London?

    I think not as her real name was Gayle Peck.

    Did the UK broadcast an old cop show called ‘Dragnet’?

    One of her husbands was Jack Webb who played Detective Sergeant Joe Friday.

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  11. I think Pete is looking for a whipping.
    Anyhow, I am knitting you a very nice Dr Who scarf. There will be sequins.
    Sx

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  12. SCARLET: I think Pete is looking for a whipping.
    Anyhow, I am knitting you a very nice Dr Who scarf. There will be sequins.


    Won’t I be the talk of the Universe when I’m travelling in my TARDIS?

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  13. Dear Mistress
    You're a lovely but, a very difficult Mistress to shop for. I'm having such an awful time finding something suitable.

    Then I thought, perhaps I could send you my "stocking stuffer" as a gift. You can always re-gift him if he's not to your liking!

    I'm sending him in a large package marked Dear Mistress.

    ps As you open his package when he cums, I have instructed him to jump up and shout "surprise"!!

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  14. I can't move, sorry. Got a nerve stuck somewhere in my back so I've got pain shootingup my spine. Since 11pm last night.

    In other words, change your own effing nappies

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  15. PRINCESS: Dear Mistress
    You're a lovely but, a very difficult Mistress to shop for. I'm having such an awful time finding something suitable.
    Then I thought, perhaps I could send you my "stocking stuffer" as a gift. You can always re-gift him if he's not to your liking!
    I'm sending him in a large package marked Dear Mistress.
    ps As you open his package when he cums, I have instructed him to jump up and shout "surprise"!!


    You say he cums and THEN jumps up and shouts “surprise!”?

    Do not bother sending me your PE castoffs.

    CYBERPOOF: I can't move, sorry. Got a nerve stuck somewhere in my back so I've got pain shootingup my spine. Since 11pm last night.
    In other words, change your own effing nappies


    Is this your attempt to get out of going home for the holidaze?

    Perhaps one of Infomaniac’s bitches will offer you a massage.

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  16. I wouldn't be going home if I was well, let alone unwell.

    Can I hire Ayemate for an hour?

    And have Roses on standby with loads of hard liquor.

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  17. When the woman in the fur coat turned up I thought it was Bet Lynch.

    D'you need some festive Crocs?

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  18. CYBERPOOF: I wouldn't be going home if I was well, let alone unwell.
    Can I hire Ayemate for an hour?
    And have Roses on standby with loads of hard liquor.


    I'm sure you can rely on Roses but Ayem8y is probably whoring his way up and down the Gulf Coast as we speak.

    You need a backup plan.

    LULU: When the woman in the fur coat turned up I thought it was Bet Lynch.
    D'you need some festive Crocs?


    I dream of the return of Bet Lynch.

    Without Bet or Blanche, what’s the point?

    Do NOT mention the “C” word if you wish to have a festive holiday.

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  19. I'm sure I didn't hear this right...did she say,
    "If you can't make it...I'm gonna have to split...you dig?!"

    If so...I'm so glad I'm too young (barely) to have ever said such words.

    No lie...the heifer must have arrived here. I'm making almost the exact menu except the artichokes. Creamed spinach instead.

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  20. Bugger!

    Kapitano?

    Or that lovely Kevin or Michael?

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  21. JILL: I'm sure I didn't hear this right...did she say,
    "If you can't make it...I'm gonna have to split...you dig?!"
    If so...I'm so glad I'm too young (barely) to have ever said such words.
    No lie...the heifer must have arrived here. I'm making almost the exact menu except the artichokes. Creamed spinach instead.


    You’re just not hep to her jive. You dig?

    CYBERPOOF: Bugger!
    Kapitano?
    Or that lovely Kevin or Michael?


    Michael GUY or Michael RIVERS?

    I’m almost certain Kapi would be up for it…the shameless tart.

    Are you flirting with Kevin?

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  22. How about both Michaels?

    Who wouldn't flirt with the lovely Kevin.

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  23. I have a nice fireside rug for you :-)

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  24. CYBERPOOF: How about both Michaels?
    Who wouldn't flirt with the lovely Kevin.


    I knew you’d want to take the two-for-one special.

    BEAST: I have a nice fireside rug for you :-)

    The horror!

    Get that manky thing OUT of my sight!

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  25. I like French girls with French crops.

    They can smell truffles.

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  26. GARFY: I like French girls with French crops.
    They can smell truffles.


    A truffle pig would be cheaper to maintain.

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  27. So, you want us to buy those clothes for your houseboys new uniforms? I'm not sure how much work they'd get done if they spend all day prancing up and down the stairs.

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  28. Did she sing Don't Cry For Me Mucky Tina? or something like that.

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  29. I've just been informed that it was Julie Coventry who sang it.

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  30. EROS: So, you want us to buy those clothes for your houseboys new uniforms? I'm not sure how much work they'd get done if they spend all day prancing up and down the stairs.

    They spend all day as it is prancing up the stairs to each others bedrooms!

    MITZI: Did she sing Don't Cry For Me Mucky Tina? or something like that.
    I've just been informed that it was Julie Coventry who sang it.


    Or Julie Milton Keynes?

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