Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Anonymous Rants and Raves

Occasionally, Infomaniac receives anonymous comments in response to our postings.

We tend to receive more rants than raves as typified in our item about White People Dreadlocks

Anonymous said: You're a fucking idiot.
Dreadlocks are clean, they get washed, and they're no different than normal hair. By telling people that it's not okay to have dreads because of race you're only propagating discrimination. Some people have dreadlocks because they like them, some people have dreadlocks because they have hair that's hard to deal with so that's the easiest way to keep their hair.
I think you're just not comfortable with yourself and feel the need to hate on everyone. Go fuck yourself, cocksucker.

Anonymous said: "Dreads are not only fashion faux pas but they are also disgusting."
- Honest religious people, black or white, who have dreadlocks, are not concerned with your concept of fashion. It is also not disgusting, unless you're ignorant.

"Apparently, you don't wash your hair with shampoo and you treat the hair a special wax."
I've had them for four years. I'm white. I wash my hair every other day with a shampoo bar. I do not treat my hair with any kind of wax, gel, beeswax, bullshit, only simple thread to secure loose new hair and thats it.

Your conception of dreadlocks is negative. It shows disregard for the religious, historical and cultural reasonings behind the hair style.

This whole comment thread reeks of racism, stupidity, insanity, mythmaking, get a life.

Oh, and before you go off on me, I'm a college student with a degree, I've held a job for five years, and I am a productive intelligent member of society.

Anonymous said: As usual, Eurocentric people are misinformed. First off let me tell you that dreads are not unsanitary. If you knew anything about hair and skin care you would know that there are a wide range of products that one can use to maintain their hygiene. Some of which I make myself. All the negative comments you make lets me know that you're ignorant or very smart. I hope that you're using this blog to call attention to issues and not just hosting a bunch of stupid people with stupid comments. Damn people did you receive any attention growing up? What about as an adult? Some of you need help. I feel bad for you. Here's a hug!

But “Anonymous” is not always ranting. Sometimes Anonymous gives us positive feedback as exemplified by this response to our Armpit Sex posting…

Anonymous said: I love armpit sex anfd this picture made me cum. I did that to a girl pit and it was great.

Over to you now, bitches.

Tell us about some of the more memorable rants and raves you’ve received on your blogs.


  1. firsties!!!!

    now I have to go and read it

  2. Once somebody called me 'stoopid' and I told them that I would have my friend at CSIS track him down and then I would fly there tomorrow and torture him for three days before I rammed my hand into his chest and chewed on his f*cking heart in front of him as he died and then I'd go full Kaiser F*cking Soze on his entire f*cking family and there would be no trace of his DNf*ckingA left on the planet.

    Just kidding, I said,
    "I know you are but what am I..

  3. DONN: But on the "raving" side, Monica Bellucci sent you video footage of her heaving bosoms.

  4. I get anon hate rants every posting .But thats just Mr C.

  5. As for dreadlocks, they should know that hair is actually dead and having that much loose and twisted hair in their face is disgusting. Especially when it looks like a birds nest.

    Apparently Anonymous doesn't do it right because if you want to keep the locks all good, you must use a special wax.

    The real question though is why care to rant to you when you also show meatloaf farting?

    That last photo, is that Lolo Ferrari or Anna Nicole?

  6. i'm too dull to inspire rants, sugar! xoxo

  7. Well . . . Rastafarianism says you shouldn't comb or cuts your hair "locks" and they do put wax in it and wash it. The religon also says you shouldn't eat meat or drink alcohol. Most Dreads you see do both and are known as "disco" or "plastic" Rastas. So people shouldn't get too uppity about white folks having dreadlocks. Another case of white, middle class, liberal, guilt.

    Did you know that black people steal white babies and eat them!!!!

  8. Anonymous not only has a go at me but at my lovely readers, too.

    On my post about that great Sandi Thom song...

    well actully i love tht song it dusent matta wat the words are its the tune people listen to leave sandi alone i bet u cudnt write a better song then tht actully im puttin it as my ringtone !!!!11


    On my post about the splendour of Porky Whites sausages...

    you losser....porky whites are the best sausages in the world!!! and if you wanted to know who was in the competition with them why didnt you ask!!!!

    dont put them in the same class as walls!!!!

    what the hell are you taking about..GBH!!! were are you getting your facts??

    I can tell you NOW that Derek Porky White is not the name of the person who owns Porky white sausages....get the facts right... and also every industry is the same.. cut throat!

    On my post reviewing a local restaurant...

    I can tell you would not know a first class meal at a resonable price if it bit you on your Burburry cap covered empty heads. Stick to MacDonalds you cheap, moronic, unappreciative egits.

    By the way the Victoria Restaurant is a fantastic place to eat, we had our company Christmas do there and found the food, wine, surroundings and staff to be excellent.

  9. Ah yes, this memorable one:

    "I have never in my life read something so biased and unfunny in my life. How dare you comment on people who have a certain preference. It is not cruel if it is carried out under controlled and experienced conditions.
    As for other things we could do, why don't we all go fuck your mother, or "your me" as you so intelligently put it? Maybe that will give you something to think about you ignoramus.

    I hope you die from foreskin cancer."

    That was a response to a page I wrote about men who stick gerbils up their asses.

  10. Well, someone had a go at me for criticising those ugly plastic shoes called crocs. And someone else called me a brainless dick once, to which I complimented her on her knowledge of human anatomy, but other than that it's been fairly placid my side of the street.

  11. I shall try to be as politically correct as I possibly can be here.

    Anonymous haters are usually either juvenile bedroon warriors with vaginal issues, or middle aged bald fucks going through a midlife divorce.

    Massive Jugs (MJ) will of course be taking notes of your acidic comments and using them to wipe her purdy little arse with.

    ...oh and I forgot to say, whoever it was.. you're a cunt.

    See, I can comment without swearing.. much.

  12. I got called a British piece of shit.

    thats it.

    God how it still stings, though...

  13. BEAST: Mr. C wouldn’t have to rant if you were performing your job competently.

    CYBERPOOF: The last photo is Anonymous.

    You may be older now but clearly not wiser.

    SAVANNAH: You’re all southern decadence, not dullness.

    FROBI: I shall have to consult with my travelling companion and longtime friend “Tranny C” who is black.

    She will confirm or deny your baby-eating allegations.

  14. GEOFF: Suddenly I feel old, bitter and sadistic.

    And try as I may, I still can’t picture you in a Burberry cap.

    Geoff, would you consider more local restaurant reviews? The reviews would be useful should I ever find myself in Kent.

    MAXI: Leave yer Ma out of this.

    GINRO: Email me your Crocs link as I’d like to read it.

    Good thing they didn’t read my A Pox on Crocs posting!

    BOLLIX: I love it when you talk dirty.

    NATIONS: British?

    You are so clearly Kazakhstanian.

  15. I don't actually get many anonymous comments, which is a bit disappointing. However, I got this one from Rocio in Argentina:

    "Lily Allen is not fat, bitch! Your fucking dirty and empty brain is fat. Asshole! I bet you are a stupid fat virgin rat who is so unhappy with herself that spends all the fucking time talking about other. Loser! Lily Allen is very tallented, and I think you will never be as cool as her. Your posts tell everything."

    Not only has he completely understood me, I'll be able to use the expression "stupid fat virgin rat" the next time I'm in Argentina.

  16. Most of my anons are supermodels who wish to shower me with richly deserved praise.

    Either that or it's pesky millionaire widows wishing to bequeath me large sums.

    I find the whole thing a trial.

    I did get once get called a 'limey who thinks the sun shines out of his ass', which was nice.

  17. BETTY: I have Geoff’s word that you are not a virgin.

  18. Monsieur Garfer: The ray of light emanating from your gorgeous round arse is blinding me.

  19. CYBERPOOF: I only have to be nice to you on your birthday.

  20. Miss MJ . It is impossible to perform to Mr C's deranged and constantly changing levels of perfection. The man is clearly insane

  21. i know all of my anon posters so its not really fair... someone here could start posting comments on my blog and leave me nasty messages! that would be fucking great!!!

  22. An Anagram of Anonymous could be

    "anus moony" which is rather cool 'eh?

  23. What I want to know is: Why are all anonymous ranters so crap at spelling and grammar? They must have all not gone to the same school.

    Sadly, I haven't had any ranters. Eveidently, I haven't been controversial enough.

  24. Blast! Ruined that by spelling 'evidently' incorrectly.

  25. BEAST: Perhaps it’s time that Mr. C and Mistress MJ joined forces to give The Beast a good old-fashioned Norwegian Fish Whipping!

    VOICES: *directs all anonymous ranters over to Voices’ blog*

    Nothing to see here, ranters.

    Go to Voices’ blog!

    TONY: I recall the day you flashed your peachy anus moony at me.

    Shall I repost the link?

    IVD: Anonymous ranters may well be aware that you could point one of your freakishly bendy digits at them and cast a spell.

    *laffs at spelling*

  26. Really?

    That's just wrong.

    So when exactly is the one day I should be nice to you then?

  27. Well, I comment anonymously, but I never rant. That just ain't me.

    I think that set of hooters belongs to Dolly Parton. I am sure her nips are below navel level by now, as she's getting old as the hills. Must be a shot from her younger days.

  28. CYBERPOOF: Everyday is Be Nice to Mistress MJ Day.

    ANONYMOUS: Apparently Dolly’s had her breasts lifted although it must have taken a big crane to do so.

    p.s. Give us a hint as to your secret identity.

  29. I have nothing to say but I wanted to be the LAST!!! Everyone is always raving about being first...well, now they will envy me about being last! Muwah ha ha ha ha!!! (evil laugh)


  30. I've had a crazed, attention seeker on my blog a few posts back. So sad, but entertaining!

    It was the spewings of quasi religious nutcase, but boy was it an exciting time to reach back and pull the Biblical knowledge I've not used since high school! It's hilarious to see how fanatics know little about the fundamentals of the religions they espouse!

  31. I had an Anonymous Australian calling a racist even though I hadn't bloody mentioned Aussies at all......that particular post was about taxi drivers......mentalist

  32. CYBERPOOF: Just follow my instructions and nobody gets hurt.

    RANDOM: At this point, Manuel has overtaken you.

    EROS: Didn’t he find IVD and Beast too?

    Fire and brimstone shall reign down upon those two, regardless.

    They don’t need an anonymous commenter to know THAT!

    MANUEL: Blame the heat and the XXXX.

  33. Eh, the best I've gotten was "I'm surrounded by fucking idiots." Referring I suppose to me and my commenters. Same fellow also said "Be careful what you say or I may want to stick my dick into you when I get all worked up. :-)

" Note the ominous smiley face. But I took that as a compliment. However, I would have suggested to him had I wanted to continue the dialogue, you can catch more flies with honey sir...

  34. MJ, the poor, lonely, sad thing did try to reach them.

  35. I don't get any anon commenters. I do, however, get loads of hits each day from people doing google searches for 'i hate ayn rand'. Which fills me with pride.

    Also, this is your blog. It's your opinion you are expressing. I enjoy everything you write, especially the inflammatory posts like the dredlock one. My favourite ranter was the one who couldn't decide whether you are very smart or stupid.

    I'd err on the side of smart - plus LOVE the pictures for this post.

  36. I once has one Bitch actually leave a poem on my blog that basically said she was going to slap all of my readers. Phwap, Phwap, Phwap. OH wait, that was you. opps my bad. LOL

  37. No problems on my Blog. Everyone just loves me, want to hold me and be my friend. For those that don't, I just set them on fire.

  38. LEAH: The polite way of phrasing that would have been, “PLEASE be careful what you say or I may want to stick my dick into you when I get all worked up.”

    EROS: IVD and Beast are beyond redemption.

    T-BIRD: I am considering getting all you bitches to send me nekkid pics of yourselves with paper bags over your heads.

    What do you think?

    CECILE: *bitchslaps Cecile for that comment*

    Phwap, Phwap, Phwap!

    CSI: Excuse me while I change into my fire retardant suit.

  39. LAST, LAST, LAST! Muwah ha ha ha!

  40. RANDOM: You are one crazy bitch.

  41. Damn straight. How do you think I survive in this insane world...being smart? Muwah ha ha ha ha ha!

  42. Dude, I might have to photshoppe everything. Bag included.