Sunday, October 05, 2008

Blogging from My Sick Bed

Mistress MJ is rallying around briefly from her sick bed to thank you for your "get well soon" wishes upon hearing of her illness.

Lord Tennisanyone has been hired as her court jester and XL is official pillow fluffer.

What about the rest of you? What services can you volunteer to aid in Mistress MJ's speedy recovery?



VOLUNTEER NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!


Reminder: Monday is the final day to submit pics of your animal pals. If you missed that posting, read all about it here.

41 comments:

  1. I IS FIRST!

    Yep, I meant that grammatical blunder.

    Hope you feel better and although I will pass on the pillowfight (because, seriously, I will suffocate a bitch) I am wishing you tons of well wishes, penises, and all that jazz.

    Get well, sheesh. Don't make me walk to Canaderrrr with some homemade Kraft Dinner Soup fer ya.

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  2. I'm a hopeless nurse - can't even look after myself when I'm ill. Still, I can be your drug dealer. A cocktail of Benylin, Night Nurse, LSD and Codeine is definitely the best way to get through any illness (come to think of it, I'm not ill and I tend to start the day with all of the above).

    Um, get well soon, anyway!

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  3. I could pop in with a rum toddy from time to time.

    And maybe arrange your shoes.

    Did you finish the book?

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  4. Pfff, you can blog can't yah? Fresh air, cold water and a fine march through the Canadian nature will cure your "illness" very fast. Einszwei, einszwei ...

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  5. i've been pissing and moaning pretty good as of late...need any assistance in that area?

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  6. It would seem that the 'Mistress' cannae take the pace when it comes to playing hide the sausage.

    And WHO the fuck has left cigarette ash all over my blog?

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  7. sorry bollix...it was early and there were no fucking lights on...i was trying to be careful...fuck now i guess i have to put on my goddamn maid outfit again...geez

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  8. I could slap you around your face to snap you out of it?


    P.S. You look fabulous! You must tell me what diet you're on.

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  9. Just checking in to see if the old bag made it thru the night
    Girls make such a fuss when they are ill , its not like they have to suffer in silence with MAN FLU like us boys

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  10. I can take your temperature with my meat thermometer.

    I'll even let you choose whether you want it orally or anally.

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  11. omg beast...i almost laughed harder at your comment than bollix last blog...ROFLMFAO

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  12. I'm with Beast, just don't give in to these things.

    I'm far too busy to be ill.

    You could try a couple of Tramadol with hot milk with a couple of shots of Kahulua in it. It works.

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  13. AWA: Tons of penises?

    One at a time, please.

    MR.POOPIE: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    Given the nature of your profession, I'll answer yes to happy endings.

    May I book an appointment?

    BETTY: Come to me o Angel of Mercy.

    CYBERPOOF: You may arrange my shoes after Mr. Bollix has licked them clean with his tongue.

    I’m ready to read your dog-eared copy of Satan was a Lesbian.

    MAGO: I love the way you goosestep in and out of my life.

    DAISY: I'm surrounded by whingers here thank you very much.

    Beast is proof of that, wouldn't you agree?

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  14. BOLLIX: You’ve had me running ragged being your blog mistress all weekend.

    No wonder my immune system is damaged.

    *stubs out fag on Bollix’ bollocks*

    DAISY: Don’t apologize to that big Scottish blowhard.

    IVD: I’ll soon be down to YOUR weight!

    *bitch-slaps IVD…just because*

    BEAST: Don’t make me chase you with my enema bag.

    MAXI: Shut it or I’ll put my foot up your backside.

    Oh wait, you’d love that, wouldn’t you?

    DAISY: You’re really not doing me any good with your encouraging Beast and Bollix, you know.

    You can assist me in holding the pair of them down for a good Norwegian Fish Whipping.

    FROBI: Washed down with Old Lesbian No.3?

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  15. awwwwwwwwww. gottums a sore throatie? next time tell him to remove the apadrayva, cheezer.

    http://www.the-penis.com/images/pierce01.jpg

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  16. alright boys over here...bollix...beast...come now...daisy MUST hold you down...it's an order by the mistress...

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  17. I have to agree with IDV you never looked better.

    *gives MJ the book*

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  18. NATIONS: But he promised to tickle my tonsils.

    DAISY: Atta girl, Daisy.

    You’re learning your lessons well at the feet of Mistress MJ.

    CYBERPOOF: You're only saying that because you like the look of big bones.

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  19. Hey! MJ.sorry To Hear Your Fluey! Polish Vodka is the best cure FOR EVEYTHING!

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  20. In'n out, m'lady, as you pleas'd.

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  21. I'll bring you some chicken soup, and I'll make sure you get turned so you don't end up with bed sores.

    I'll also make inquiries to see if I can get you a hoveround motorized wheelchair and a portable oxygen tank.

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  22. im too tired to volunteer for much of anything... i volunteer to let you rub my feet, will that work?

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  23. How long are you'se gonnae be laid up for? I need someone to pass me the remote control and get me another fecking beer.

    self self self... what do I see in you?

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  24. TONY: I like Luksusowa potato vodka.

    MAGO: Did you know that my filthiest Google searches all arrive on Infomaniac from Germany?

    EROS: I’ll make sure you get a kick up the arse.

    VOICES: You’ve just rubbed me the wrong way

    CYBERPOOF: You’re crazy for cock.

    BOLLIX: You see your reflection looking back at you.

    Get you a beer? Your wife can do that.

    You're here to service me.

    While you’re up and looking in the mirror, mix me a drink, would you?

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  25. ummm...


    *still holding feet out twards mj sick bed*

    i think you have bollix to rub you "the wrong way", im here for a foot massage.

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  26. I'm sending Kev over with his guitar.
    He'll do you a chorus of Whisky in the jar.
    He also does requests.

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  27. Now that's a title for a book!

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  28. Well, sooner or later, all roads end at the Infomaniac!
    And while you get foot-rubbed, drink-mixed and chicken-souped, I step out in the night and care for security on the mean streets of this evil town. Mich juckt die Säbelspitze ...

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  29. VOICES: *hands Voices a pair of OdorEaters*

    KAZ: Are you trying to kill me?

    CYBERPOOF: The title of your autobiography.

    GARFY: You’re going down with me.

    MAGO: Säbelspitze?

    That’s rather Freudian, isn’t it?

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  30. I'd wish you well, but fuck - I thought you were sick to begin with !

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  31. GARFY: I was thinking more along the lines of a rowboat ride on the River Styx.

    HEFF: You sweet talker.

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  32. I can mop your fevered brow and mutter things such as 'There, there, all better soon' I have lots of practice catering to dying swan acts with my ex-wife, lol.

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  33. Here, have some cool and alcohol free drinkys and some freshly peeled grapes too......just ring the bell if you need anything else,..........

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  34. GINRO: *cues Saint-Saëns*

    MANUEL: Ah Manuel…bringing the hospitality industry to the hospitalized.

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  35. That's what they wrote on the waggons August '14 ...
    Order is restored, the big club is put back in the futteral.
    Have some tequila with your citron and lick the salty. You'll feel better soon.

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  36. MAGO: No matter what you say, Herr Mago, it always sounds naughty.

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  37. I hope your feeling better.
    We
    re all sich here to. I don;t know if its the weather or the up coming elections

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