NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK
Englishman Ginro first appeared on Infomaniac in September of this year; another innocent bystander lured in by this Filthy Friday posting.
Although secretly I think he’d been enjoying the Cake Farts video prior to that.
You may remember the day that Ginro contributed to our Blogging Tips and Tricks posting by writing upside down and backwards in the comments section.
Ginro (left) in the garden with Charlie Dimmock and Alan Titchmarsh...if I knew how to post this gif properly, Charlie Dimmock's tits would be swinging back and forth, alternately slapping Ginro and Alan TITchmarsh as they swung
UPDATE: That isn’t Ginro in the pic. If anyone knows who the bloke on the left is, please contact Ginro or Infomaniac.
UPDATE: Ginro informs us that the bloke on the left is Tommy Walsh from Ground Force.
Anyway, I’ll shut up and let Ginro take it from here.
From here on down, Ginro tells his tale. Enjoy…
Who am I?
I am a man that blogs. But would that be more along the lines of telling you what I am rather than who I am? Yes I guess so. I found this which was quite interesting, for several minutes: Who am I? I am a boy. I tried to put my age but it wouldn't let me go past nine years old. Well that figures, lol. Give me the hairstyle of your choice. Hair colour? Didn't have silver (my hair turned that colour in my late twenties when I got married) as an option so I had to go for blonde. I have a silly/bunny face. My pyjamas are, well I don't wear anything as a rule so I went with blue. And this is me. Fun for all of us.
I was born some time ago.
My earliest memory is from when I was about 2 or 3 years old. I was in the back seat of a car, and the car was black.
When I was 5 I broke my arm.
However, we didn't know this until the doctor had a look at it the next day as the nurse that lived next door had told my Mum that it was just a sprain.
I still have the cast. Don't know why I kept it.
When I was 8 the girl across the road used to chase me everywhere trying to kiss me. Naturally, at that age I was repulsed.
When we met again, about fifteen years later, my eyes popped out as she was a babe. Unfortunately she was also married and then emigrated to Canada.
When I was 10 we went to live in Ceylon.
I had lots of adventures.
When I was 14 we returned.
I was 14 when I got my first offer of *hem hem* relations.
She was the same age as me, and in my class, but looked the spitting image of Lynsey De Paul.
As she looked back then that is, not as she is now.
Lynsey de Paul
We moved again when I was 15.
We moved again when I was 16.
I hated school so used to bunk off and stay at home reading my Dad's encyclopedias.
When I was 19 I got a job as a croupier.
When I was 21 I joined the army.
When I was 24 I went back to croupiering.
When I was 25 I went abroad and worked in illegal gambling dens.
It wasn't a lot of fun sometimes.
The police chased us a lot.
So did other people.
But again, I had lots of adventures.
When I came back I moved.
I worked in a casino.
I met my wife there.
She was watching me deal a game and leaning over the table, she said in a very loud voice, "I want to have your babies".
The customers just ignored her and carried on gambling.
I went into a little bit of shock and asked her if we could discuss this later.
Two years later we were married with a baby daughter.
I discovered I love children and want more.
Over the next few years things happened.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
My wife ran off with someone else.
It's a long story.
I raised my daughter.
I became a qualified PTI.
I went to college.
I went to Uni...
Some things happened.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
And here we are today.
Where am I from?
From a country far far away, in a land that time forgot. Actually when you want to know where I am from what do you mean? Where was I born? Where did I spend my childhood? Where did I go to school? Where have I spent most of my life? I will simply say, I was born in England and am an Englishman through and through.
Well I love kittens and puppies, and I want to spread peace and love all around the world and if I win the Miss World competition I shall use the prize money to buy lots of balloons and spread happiness (*snort* yeh right as if l believe that garbage. I win the prize money and I'm off on a world cruise with a woman wearing kinky boots on each arm. Not wearing the boots on their arms I mean, but the women arm in arm with me).
One of my heroes is King Harold II.
I exercise a lot.
I am a martial artist and have been for over twenty years.
But I only train alone nowadays, as I'm tired of fighting full-contact.
It hurts, and I've done my time.
I am a bibliophile.
By that I mean roll-ups in liquorice paper.