Thursday, October 23, 2008

I Feel Pretty

A day of beauty and glamour await Mistress MJ as she enjoys a day at the spa.

Hair, nails, massage: the full package.

Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

What? You thought I just roll out of bed every morning looking this beautiful?


  1. I played A-RAB in WSS so I know all these songs!

    The most beautiful sound I ever heard
    All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word
    M zJay
    I just met a girl named M zJay
    And suddenly that name
    Will never be the same
    To me

    M zJay
    Read her Blog and there's music playing
    Except on Filthy Fridays when you'll start praying

  2. And you're wearing your pearls, too! Are those a gift from seamen across your neck?

    How glamorous and fabulous, a spa day! Hope when the massage is over, it's a happy ending for you!

  3. MJ.... don't turn around.... don't look up.... NO!! DON'T!!!

    ((whispers urgently)) there's an octopus eating your hair.....

    Oh... and... SECONDS!!!!

  4. Eros, you senak! How did you do that!!! I was second... damn...

    ((wanders off pouting...))

  5. Okay... that should be 'sneak'... shouldn't type so damn fast...

  6. Well, at least I got 3rd, 4th and 5th.

    Oh... and 6th too.

  7. DONN: Ahem.

    EROS: Questions about seamen can be directed to the Fisherman’s Friend…IVD.

    PONYGIRL: Are you hepped up on goofballs?

  8. Been cleaning the bathrooms.... must be the fumes getting to me...

  9. um...

    heee heee hheeeee



    mm mmm m m m

    mj, is looking forward to "the full package" at the spa tomorrow....

    mm mmm m m m m m ...


    heeh heheh eehe eh ee.....

  10. PONYGIRL: Have you learned nothing from this blog?

    The houseboy does the bathrooms.

    VOICES: Thank you for subtly pointing that out to everyone.

  11. Sshhh...don't say a word. Just hold me.

  12. CSI: You're getting a little big to bounce on my lap but what the hey.

  13. The houseboy is on sabbatical.

    The cat wanted a drink.

    I had to clean the toilet.


  14. I believe I was sitting next to you.


  15. I expected it to involve high powered generators and vaseline

  16. Do what you like to yerself, if you were a horse they would shoot you.

  17. PONYGIRL: You are the cat's houseboy.

    BOXER: Eh? Have you been inhaling fumes too?

    CYBERPOOF: Or KY Jelly, in your case.

    KNUDSEN: Who am I to look a gift horse, er, gift certificate in the mouth?

  18. So how long will you have to be strapped into that machine for? A couple of weeks?

    * crosses fingers in expectation *

  19. BOXER: "Inhaling the fumes from nail products can make you sick." - US Food and Drug Administration.

    Why don't you join me for cocktails instead?

    So much healthier especially with the slice of pineapple on the rim of the glass.

    IVD: You might like to cross your legs while you're at it as you're attracting flies.

  20. Miss MJ can you save the strips from the Bikini n Ass wax , we need new burnt pan scourers for the Cafe C kitchen

  21. I'm sure Ms Nations could grow a lovely green pant in that shiny ashtray.
    It would replace some of the oxygen in your lungs and do wonders or the compexion.

  22. I'm going to Israel to have a snake massage. They pour all different sizes of snakes on you and you enjoy their writhing. It's even better if you're covered in chocolate body paint as snakes just luuuurve chocolate and will lick it with their little tongues 'til the cows come home.

  23. BEAST: I’m having the hairs woven into The World Champ’s beard for extra fortitude in his travails.

    KAZ: When you’ve sobered up, please try typing that comment again.

    GEOFF: Why go all the way to Israel when I can enjoy the writhing of one-eyed snakes right here at home?

  24. And you didn't invite me?
    Dang, girl.

  25. I need no generator thankyouverymuch

  26. "What? You thought I just roll out of bed every morning looking this beautiful? "

    Why, actually yes. Yes we do.

  27. CATSCRATCH: Meet me in the wine therapy room.

    CYBERPOOF: You need a vat of Bag Balm.

    PUPPY&HIPPO: You don’t want to see me before I’ve had my morning coffee scrub.

  28. What the hell is that?

    The tin looks lovely though.

  29. Never mind I have to click ?

    I was up before 6 this morning so I'm not my usual sharp self today.

  30. CYBERPOOF: Had you clicked on “English” in the Bag Balm link (there isn’t a Danish option), you’d have seen that Bag Balm is a salve originally intended to soothe irritation on cows' udders but humans use it to treat irritated skin.

    If it works for Shania Twain, it can work for you too.

    Cry me a river. I’ve been up since 3 and I went to bed at midnight.

  31. I was just thinking. Wouldn't No Crack be better?

    Seems more universal.

  32. Did you insinuate that I need that for my arse?


    *yawns, stretches and hunts down some office style coffee*

  34. CYBERPOOF: Try putting the Bag Balm on your bag, for starters.

    And I don't mean your handbag.

    As for "No Crack" you'll need to keep your crack open for your "clients".

    VOICES: Okay, okay, I HEARD you!

  35. Then I don't know what you mean.

    and my YSL handbag doesn't require it.

  36. my bad... i was just having fun using my new blogging comment tools i learned on infomaniac....

    still looking forward to the "full package"?

  37. Well I think most people would enjoy the full package.

    I'm more of a buy-one-get-one-free person myself.

  38. Ahhh, a lovely day at the spa. You really are too gorgeous for words. Eat your heart out Elizabeth Taylor!!!

  39. you should come to seattle and get a fish pedicure. serious. look it up. one spa got turned in to animal control for 'cruelty to animals' (one imagines the kind of foot that inspired that call and shudders.) they have little minnow fishies in a tank, and you stick your body part of choice in there with them and the fishies proceed to nibble off all the dead skin cells.

    then you proceed to the 'cupping and bleeding' station, one supposes.


  40. Pretty woman walkin down the street
    Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet
    Pretty woman, I dont believe you
    Youre not the truth
    No one could look as good as you

    Pretty woman, wont you pardon me
    Pretty woman, I couldnt help but see
    Pretty woman, and you look lovely as can be
    Are you lonely just like me

    Pretty woman, stop a while
    Pretty woman, talk a while
    Pretty woman, give your smile to me
    Pretty woman, yeah, yeah, yeah
    Pretty woman, look my way
    Pretty woman, say youll stay with me

    Cause I need you
    Ill treat you right
    Come with me baby
    Be mine tonight

    Pretty woman, dont walk on by
    Pretty woman, dont make me cry
    Pretty woman, dont walk away

    If thats the way it must be, ok
    I guess Ill go on home, its late
    Therell be tomorrow night

    But wait, what do I see?
    Is she walking back to me?
    Yeah, shes walking back to me
    Pretty woman.

  41. I didn't realise you were so attractive Madame Butts. Perhaps we should get together for beers and burgers.

    We could compare stains.

  42. I hope you had fun! I'm jealous. I want one of those every week, and a personal masseuse to come in every day. I'm reduced to having my daughter jump around on my back...

  43. You're on. I just chip new nails within minutes anyhoo. and, the fumes at my office (plastic) are better than anything I have to pay for.

  44. Why did you replace the stripy stockings with pressure ones from the hospital?

  45. So ... how was it then?
    Satisfying I hope.

  46. CYBERPOOF: Your YSL knockoff handbag, more like.

    VOICES: Who’s a clever blogger?

    BILLY: Whenever I see you I think of that photo of you with your lips clasped onto the milk jug.

    I would REALLY like to see more in that series of shots.

    You’re a sexy bitch, Billy.

    INLAND-EMPIRE: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    We share a love of The Last Waltz, I see.

    RANDOM: La Liz has a pearl necklace too!

    *disturbed by mental images of Liz and Larry Fortensky*

    NATIONS: What if they accidentally put a piranha in there with your tootsies?

    Did you think of THAT?

    It’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.

  47. TONY: All you need is a pair of dark glasses to complete the Roy Orbison impersonation.

    “You GOT it!”

    KAZ: Are you having fantasies about Robert Plant’s crotch again?

    GARFY: Got any tips on whiskey and yogurt stain removal?

    LEAH: Continue training your child as you would a houseboy until your husband comes to me for proper instruction.

    I’ll have that bitch of yours whipped into shape in no time.

    BOXER: Mistress MJ wears opera gloves to protect her manicure.

    T-BIRD: Oh crap.

    I thought this was casual Friday.

    MAGO: I was relaxed and rejuvenated ‘til I got home and had to respond to all these comments.