Geoff Through the Ages: The Man Who Would Be a Blogger
Over to you now, bitches.
Why was Geoff such a miserable baby?
Why the bemused look as a youth?
What kind of man has he become?
p.s. Sorry ladies. He’s Betty’s.
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He was probably miserable because he had a premonition about having to live in a house with that dreadful wallpaper...
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Geoff!
Geoff: Are you a Kentish man or a Man of Kent?
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday.
Potential football hooligan turns into wannabe French existential poseur.
ReplyDeleteThat kid needed a good thumping with a baguette.
That's easy - he was really miserable until he met Betty!
ReplyDeleteIVD: We can only hope Geoff doesn’t share the fate of Oscar Wilde, who, a few days before he died, declared that ‘My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has to go’.
ReplyDeleteThe wallpaper won.
TATAS: He’s just a Kent. Period.
GARFY: A Fendi Baguette?
Or the diamante encrusted Hermes handbag you suggested we splash out on?
KAZ: I’ll just step aside and leave that one wide open for Geoff and Betty to comment upon.
Kaz, I know I promised you that much treasured, sweaty and unwashed Arsenal kit, as worn by Thierry Henry, if you left that comment, but I really couldn't bear to part with it after all.
ReplyDeleteSorry, um, thanks all the same.
I was only visiting the wallpaper, I am a Kentish man and 100% Kent, I was never a hooligan (scared of any violence), I was miserable until I met Betty and I've made her life a misery since.
ReplyDeleteThank you MJ and commenters. I am sadly still extremely sober.
BETTY: I had my suspicions with that comment from Kaz.
ReplyDeleteI could hear her all the way across the pond calling "va-va-voom" in anticipation of the football kit.
GEOFF: According to my Canuck-to-Brit time calculator, it's only about 4:30 pm in Kent.
You still have plenty of time to tie one on.
Have you received your birthday spanking yet?
No, and Betty'd better not be using her arm that's in the cast.
ReplyDeleteGEOFF: I should think the thump of the cast would only add to the experience.
ReplyDeleteConsider yourself lucky that she's not using crutches!
HB Geoff!
ReplyDeleteThat 3rd pic had me worried and calling for social services.
Is Geoff anatomically correct?
SID: I noticed that myself but was too stunned to say anything.
ReplyDeleteIf Geoff hasn't dozed off after his sherry nightcap, perhaps he can explain.
That's a panda arm!
ReplyDeleteFrom a cute little panda!
Ooooh I am from Kent as well
ReplyDeletethe pearl of the south coast Margate to be precise.
Happy Birthday :-)
That makes you a Man of Kent the same as me then beast.
ReplyDeleteCongrats geoff
GEOFF, BEAST, AND CONNIE: You're all a bunch of Kents!!!
ReplyDeleteI still remember afternoons in the summer, playing catch with Geoff...and later, when we were a bit older, we'd be off trying to pull at the local pub...good times.
ReplyDeleteHappy 365 days since the last time the Earth was here relative to the Sun! That just means your biological parents had sex once. Now go on or you'll be late for therapy.
RIMMER: Geoff has siblings so I know for a fact that his parents had sex more than once.
ReplyDeleteah, but I said BIOLOGICAL PARENTS. Who knows who those other git's DNA doners were?
ReplyDeleteKents??
ReplyDeleteWhere did I hear that before?
SID: Right. Listen up everybody.
ReplyDeleteSID has the copyright on the word "Kents."
Fucking prima donna.
And what else?? Hmmmm?
ReplyDeleteC'mon tell all.
SID: What are you on about now?
ReplyDeleteReally, you are SO high maintenance sometimes.
Your one to talk about high maintenance!
ReplyDeleteSID: Well I'm not going to have a monkey-poo-flinging match here in front of everyone with you but believe me, readers, when I say that SID's VERY high maintenance.
ReplyDeleteNow what the hell were you alluding to previously?
Poor Betty
ReplyDeleteWAITRESS: You've just spoiled your chance at a tip from Geoff.
ReplyDeleteHappy Belated B Day Geoff!
ReplyDeleteMay the wine you drink be fine,
May the company you keep be like a flower
May you enjoy both in any place,
Intimately, at any hour!
I love the Beatnik phase..
ReplyDeleteCrraaazy daddy-o!
um... happily birfdaze?
ReplyDelete