Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Croc Horror

You're all familiar with my rage against Crocs.



regular, hideously-ugly Crocs


Just when I thought the world's ugliest summer shoe was safely tucked away for the winter, the uglification has been bumped up a notch with the introduction of Mammoth Crocs.

Imagine if Ugg boots threw up into a pair of regular Crocs. That is what Mammoth Crocs look like.




Mammoth Crocs



The fleece-lined Mammoth Crocs are intended to be worn in the winter months (by men, women and children) to keep your feet warm and toasty.

I'd rather walk barefoot across a glacier!

The sturdy Croslite™ material will survive a nuclear explosion. So it looks like Crocs are with us forever.




Arrrghhh!!! They’ve reproduced!


I think we've seen enough.

Oh the Croc Horror.

31 comments:

  1. I bet you've got a dozen pairs in various colours.

    They resemble granny boots. You wear them, don't you?

    Yay! First!

    Cunts.

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  2. Where is Steve Irwin when the crocs are on the loose? oh yeah hes dead. Why have furry crocs when they still have holes in them? I can see how they would be useful for the original use of boating but now its just all silly. If you wear crocs then you are just as bad as Osama.

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  3. I'd be embarrassed to post that picture.
    I'm waiting in for the post today - my new Christmas docs are expected.

    Is that OK?

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  4. OK. I admit it I have a pink pair that was given to me by our gorgeous daughter.

    Go on I know your going to, I can take anything.

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  5. ANON: Oh hello Piggy.

    KNUDSEN: How about Hitler? Are they as bad as Hitler?

    Did you ever get your hands on that tape, “Osama’s Greatest Hits?”

    KAZ: You know the rules.

    It’s only okay if we work out a time-share agreement with any new Docs that you get.

    And what do you mean by “Christmas Docs?” Do they have jingle bells on them?

    TATAS: “I can take anything.”

    Is that what you said the first time you saw Connie’s willy?

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  6. This too shall pass.

    I read somewhere that Crocs will be branching out into hats, underwear, and condoms.

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  7. Shoes with ventilation holes that let in the rain.

    How novel.

    I bet they were invented by a Cunuck.

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  8. HE: Crocs condoms?!

    They're of no damn use to anybody with those holes in them!

    GARFY: When you finally wire that spending money to me, I’ll buy you a pair of Crocs.

    You DID say to spend lavishly on handbags and shoes, didn’t you?

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  9. if you sealed up the holes i can see where these little fleecy ones could potentially be very nice in the winter. ugly, but nice.

    everyone thought Birkenstocks were hideous when they first came out, and now they're just a part of life. (i wear my solid-shoe birkies with wool socks in the winter.)

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  10. CB: Birken-fucking-stocks?!

    With wool socks, no less?

    You are banished!

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  11. filthy hideous sweaty......and not in a good way either.....

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  12. Christmas Docs as in prezzy - shiny black patent for those white tie and tails occasions.
    But (sob) they didn't arrive.

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  13. the solid shoe ones, not the sandles! i NEVER wear socks with sandles. i'm a bit of a dweeb, but i'm not that bad.

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  14. Birkenstocks rule!

    Thinking of getting some crocs just to wind people up!

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  15. KAZ: Shiny black patent shoes?

    They act like a mirror, you know.

    When they finally arrive, I suggest going knickerless to give everyone a cheap thrill.

    CB: I almost had to disown you.

    FROBI: You’re a real misery guts today.

    I’ve seen your little hissy fit over at Beasts.

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  16. I hate them.

    They are easy to make though with a hot poker and some stabbing action.

    Preferably with the wearer still in them.

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  17. SID: Tatas is "easy to "make" with a hot poker and stabbing action" too.

    Or so I'm told by Connie.

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  18. Backless shoes in winter?

    Not only are they completely ugly, they're impractical.

    Still, as someone who only ever wears thigh high buckled boots with seven inch stilettoes. or perspex "pole dancer" platforms, I should imagine practicality is the last thing you'd look for in footwear MJ!

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  19. If the Old Woman Who Lived in Shoe had to put up with those all the kids would have frozen - or died of bad taste...

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  20. BETTY: I'm short. I need the extra height.

    MUTLEY: Dying of bad taste is the worse tragedy.

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  21. There must be something we can do to defend ourselves from the massing hoards of Crocs?

    There must be some small mammal that'll eat their eggs and stop them from reproducing?

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  22. IVD: Show them a pic of you in The Shorts.

    That would put a damper on anyone's reproductive desires.

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  23. JoeInVegas (who can't log on)5:45 PM, December 12, 2007

    Those would probably be pretty good here in Vegas, no snow or water, so the holes are OK, but still cold - yea, maybe my wife would like a pair for Christmas. Thanks for the idea!

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  24. Joe in Vegas: You might as well start drafting the divorce papers now if you plan to give your wife Mammoth Crocs for Christmas.

    RIMMER: Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

    The song remains the same.

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  25. They are a complete hideousity and should be banned by international law.

    Now I can't stop shuddering and it's not becaue I'm terribly ill but it's much more the mention of UGG boots and Birkenstocks.

    I think next in line after the crocks comes the UGG boots and then of course Birkenstocks. A fashion crime they are.

    An abomination they all are. I do however wonder how a Crocks hat is going to look like? Something Builder Bob would wear surely.

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  26. CP, I'm sure the hat'll've some holes on the top...Can Bob fix it? Let's hope he can!

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  27. Crocks are evil, ure evil. These Mammoth things are FUGLY!!!!!

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  28. oh my freakin word heaven help us...
    my god...
    and have you seen those decorations you can get for them now too?

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  29. ANGEL: Decorations?

    *shudders*

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