(click to enlarge)
You see, Norma has dry, lifeless "middle-age" skin.
And she’s losing love over it!
So we here at the Infomaniac House of Beauty want to do something about it.
Share YOUR skin care secrets with us so that Norma may regain her youthful glow.
I would like Norma's secret to having middle-age skin. Uh, I'm asking for "a friend."
ReplyDeletemy secret to having
Deletemiddle-age skin is quite simple...
remain above ground for 135 years.
Emuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Emu oil that is!
ReplyDeleteCan also be used for greasing the big pipe...
Oh Hai Lx!
all i can reveal now is that i took
ReplyDeletedoris days's secrets and ran with them.
Ballistol. And Bärwurz.
ReplyDeleteSmegma.
ReplyDeleteyes, that's one ingredient.
Deletetransplant ... every three to five years
ReplyDeletei move as often as i can!
DeleteAqua Velva?
ReplyDeletewell, you got the velva right.
Deletekabuki hates to share - but loves the infomaniac crew. so here goes - every friday evening kabuki soaks his entire body in a bathtup of chilled absinthe. enjoy !
ReplyDeletedon't even want to think about the ring around that tub.
DeletePearl Cweem.
ReplyDeleteyes, miss cwan's cweem.
DeleteBOTRYTIS CINEREA
ReplyDelete...and that's my final offer!
i think these are found
Deletein rancid emu oil, so lube away!
Sheep embryo injections. You have to get just the right dosage .... too much, and you end up having to get someone discreet to shear you.
ReplyDeleteI put some greenish goo on my face.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me a little nutso .... but after a few minutes, I cleanse as normal and then plunge my face into a bowl of cool, icy water.
Or is that the vodka???
Meh ...
why must everything be a contest?
DeleteSand down unsightly cluster fungi, fill in pockmarks with polyesther gelcoat...wet sand to even the surface, then begin layering your color in long even strokes (avoid backstroking if you are using House of Kolor MaxFlake metallics)...then finish with a thin, even topcoating of radium-infused shellac for that 'just fucked' glow!!
ReplyDeleteyou forgot the bondo.
DeleteA smile on your face and a song in your heart also go a long way towards beautification. As if Norma (a natural beauty) needed any help. Kabuki smells a vicious Canadian smear campaign launched against one of America's natural beautys. It is worrisome
ReplyDeletei know the canadian and i know the
Deletesmear and that smear aint cream cheese!
It's all about the turban.
ReplyDelete...and a good quality paper bag...
DeleteSx
is someone telling me to go shit in my hat?
Delete...there is also the world famous butterstick treatment and of course, when all else fails... there is arsenic.
ReplyDeleteSx
the butter must be unsalted.
Deletekabuki has hit the nail on the head. Mistress MJ is envious of Norma’s smooth Velva Cream-treated skin.
ReplyDeleteWhile it is true that Norma suffers from flatulence, dry socket, inner cleanliness issues, halitosis, smelly hands, and the dreaded “undie odor,” her skin is as soft as satin.
but you forgot the softness of my velva.
Delete