Sunday, September 09, 2012

Skin Care Secrets

Pity our poor Norma


(click to enlarge)

You see, Norma has dry, lifeless "middle-age" skin.

And she’s losing love over it!

So we here at the Infomaniac House of Beauty want to do something about it.

Share YOUR skin care secrets with us so that Norma may regain her youthful glow.

31 comments:

  1. I would like Norma's secret to having middle-age skin. Uh, I'm asking for "a friend."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my secret to having
      middle-age skin is quite simple...

      remain above ground for 135 years.

      Delete
  2. Emuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Emu oil that is!

    Can also be used for greasing the big pipe...


    Oh Hai Lx!

    ReplyDelete
  3. all i can reveal now is that i took
    doris days's secrets and ran with them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. transplant ... every three to five years

    ReplyDelete
  5. kabuki hates to share - but loves the infomaniac crew. so here goes - every friday evening kabuki soaks his entire body in a bathtup of chilled absinthe. enjoy !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. don't even want to think about the ring around that tub.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. i think these are found
      in rancid emu oil, so lube away!

      Delete
  7. Sheep embryo injections. You have to get just the right dosage .... too much, and you end up having to get someone discreet to shear you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I put some greenish goo on my face.
    It makes me a little nutso .... but after a few minutes, I cleanse as normal and then plunge my face into a bowl of cool, icy water.
    Or is that the vodka???
    Meh ...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sand down unsightly cluster fungi, fill in pockmarks with polyesther gelcoat...wet sand to even the surface, then begin layering your color in long even strokes (avoid backstroking if you are using House of Kolor MaxFlake metallics)...then finish with a thin, even topcoating of radium-infused shellac for that 'just fucked' glow!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. A smile on your face and a song in your heart also go a long way towards beautification. As if Norma (a natural beauty) needed any help. Kabuki smells a vicious Canadian smear campaign launched against one of America's natural beautys. It is worrisome

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know the canadian and i know the
      smear and that smear aint cream cheese!

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. ...and a good quality paper bag...
      Sx

      Delete
    2. is someone telling me to go shit in my hat?

      Delete
  12. ...there is also the world famous butterstick treatment and of course, when all else fails... there is arsenic.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  13. kabuki has hit the nail on the head. Mistress MJ is envious of Norma’s smooth Velva Cream-treated skin.

    While it is true that Norma suffers from flatulence, dry socket, inner cleanliness issues, halitosis, smelly hands, and the dreaded “undie odor,” her skin is as soft as satin.

    ReplyDelete