But Miss Scarlet has other ideas.
Here we see Miss Scarlet and Mistress MJ conspiring on how to intercept The Shorts and keep them out of Beast’s hands…
On the Canadian end of things, Mistress MJ will try employing hawks to halt the mail delivery from Canada to England.
Failing that, Miss Scarlet intends to nick The Shorts as they flap in the breeze on Beast’s clothesline.
There is talk of taking the kidnapped Shorts to Buckingham Palace.
While Miss Scarlet and I are scheming, let’s have a look at Beast’s winning caption for The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition.
Here’s the original photo that Donn posted and asked us to caption…
And now here’s Beast’s impressive handiwork...
Congratulations, Beast.
But don’t set your hopes high in actually ever having The Shorts in your possession.
Those of you interested in furthering Miss Scarlet's evil plan to intercept The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts may submit your suggestions for our consideration.
Have Beast arrested by the Scottish Tartans World Register!
ReplyDeleteI suggest that Mistress MJ and Miss Scarlet pose as customs officials and intercept the shorts!
ReplyDeleteYou know, some good ol' Thelma & Louise action!
Well. The long knives came out in record time this year
ReplyDelete:O
Its a travesty Mr Escapeons , those scheming minxes will stop at nothing to get their hands on the Beasts unmentionables
ReplyDeleteAs I'm in the otherside of the country, my Palais is a perfect hideyhole to avoid the searchers, once it's been 'lifted'.
ReplyDelete*starts buying in alcohol in preparation*
Beastie won? Bah humbug!
ReplyDeleteFailing Manda's suggestion of posing as customs officials, I will get a job in the Dorchester sorting office. I am in need of a new car and it may as well be a red van...
ReplyDeleteSx
I am also writing to the Queen to suggest that the shorts become the symbol of her Diamond jubilee. I'm sure that she will be delighted to pose in them.
ReplyDeleteSx
As Mr. Sander already pointed out, a case for the Luftwaffe.
ReplyDeleteXL: Have Beast arrested by the Scottish Tartans World Register!
ReplyDeleteWhat is the violation?
MANDA: I suggest that Mistress MJ and Miss Scarlet pose as customs officials and intercept the shorts!
You know, some good ol' Thelma & Louise action!
An excellent plan providing that Miss Scarlet and I do not have to perform cavity searches.
DONN: Well. The long knives came out in record time this year :O
Long knives AND point-ed sticks.
BEAST: Its a travesty Mr Escapeons , those scheming minxes will stop at nothing to get their hands on the Beasts unmentionables
Eeek!
Note to Miss Scarlet: You MUST get your hands on The Shorts before they have contact with Beast’s nether regions!
ROSES: As I'm in the otherside of the country, my Palais is a perfect hideyhole to avoid the searchers, once it's been 'lifted'.
*starts buying in alcohol in preparation*
Do you have a “frequent buyers” card?
CYBERPOOF: Beastie won? Bah humbug!
As THE LONGEST HOLDER OF THE SHORTS EVER, one wonders why you’re disgruntled by this news?
SCARLET: Failing Manda's suggestion of posing as customs officials, I will get a job in the Dorchester sorting office. I am in need of a new car and it may as well be a red van...
Could we get Postman Pat involved as an accomplice?
SCARLET: I am also writing to the Queen to suggest that the shorts become the symbol of her Diamond jubilee. I'm sure that she will be delighted to pose in them.
We must enter The Shorts in the Blue Peter compo!
MAGO: As Mr. Sander already pointed out, a case for the Luftwaffe.
The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Blitzkrieg!
Exactement! I'm sure we could pass Mr Beastie off as a 6 yr old.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: Exactement! I'm sure we could pass Mr Beastie off as a 6 yr old.
ReplyDeleteA peek inside Beast’s bedroom should be all the proof they need.
Are the legs on that bed sturdy enough?
ReplyDeleteSx
Why do you ask, Miss Scarlet?
ReplyDeleteYou're not suggesting we bounce around on it!
Good gracious no!
ReplyDeleteI was just pondering if it was strong enough to support Mr Beastie's ample buttocks.
Sx
Phew! Right then...
ReplyDeleteHe has a special hoist rigged up to support his massive gluteus maximus.
So far I am not impressed , I was expecting something along the lines of mission impossible or the italien Job
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid it's more of a "Carry On" movie at this point, Mr. Beastie.
ReplyDeleteBut don't let down your guard!
Too late to call in "The Bill" for back up with interception of this shipment of canadian contraband... They're ad the axe to em they have....
ReplyDeletePerhaps MI5 can help. Or you could always alert 007 for a job like this.
I knew there was gonna be some Elfin' trouble !!!
ReplyDeletePRINCESS: Too late to call in "The Bill" for back up with interception of this shipment of canadian contraband... They're ad the axe to em they have....
ReplyDeletePerhaps MI5 can help. Or you could always alert 007 for a job like this.
Is there an ejector seat in The Shorts?
Would you like the role of Miss Moneypenny?
HEFF: I knew there was gonna be some Elfin' trouble !!!
Happy birthday, Heff!
Might I suggest appropriating the 'Shorts while Beast is forced to say three Hail Mary's and a Kipper Surprise by Sister C? An hilarious game of switch could be enacted if both you and Miss Scarlet disguised yourselves as Cafe C Patrons, each with a Roy Cropper bag like Beast's. Beast will obviously want to keep the 'Shorts with him while he's "working" - he won't be able to wear them for fear that the manmade fibres will melt in the heat of Cafe C's kitchens and glue to his undercarriage - which is where his 'bag will come in: The perfect receptacle for hiding the 'Shorts as no one would think anything more important than a week old cheese roll will lurk inside.
ReplyDeleteIVD: Might I suggest appropriating the 'Shorts while Beast is forced to say three Hail Mary's and a Kipper Surprise by Sister C? An hilarious game of switch could be enacted if both you and Miss Scarlet disguised yourselves as Cafe C Patrons, each with a Roy Cropper bag like Beast's. Beast will obviously want to keep the 'Shorts with him while he's "working" - he won't be able to wear them for fear that the manmade fibres will melt in the heat of Cafe C's kitchens and glue to his undercarriage - which is where his 'bag will come in: The perfect receptacle for hiding the 'Shorts as no one would think anything more important than a week old cheese roll will lurk inside.
ReplyDeleteCapital idea!
Who would dare reach into Beast’s Roy Cropper bag?
They might come a cropper….hahaha!
I suspect he keeps his Love Mitten in there as well as the week old cheese roll.
I have to report Frobisher was proffering his 'sugary donut' around in the kitchen on Saturday . I assumed it was a foul euphemism and refused.
ReplyDeleteI always have my stylish Man Bag with me....as you well know
BEAST: I have to report Frobisher was proffering his 'sugary donut' around in the kitchen on Saturday . I assumed it was a foul euphemism and refused.
ReplyDeleteI always have my stylish Man Bag with me....as you well know.
Mr. Frobisher will slash your tyres if you don’t allow him to parade his “sugary donut” about in The Shorts.
I can only imagine a tug-of-war with The Shorts involving Mr. Frobisher and the sainted Mr. C.
I have no comments. I am sulking.
ReplyDeletepoop on beast.
*snif*
MS. NATIONS: I have no comments. I am sulking.
ReplyDeletepoop on beast.
*snif*
I suggest you snap your rubber gloves at him.
With gusto.
Are you still in a mood?