Sunday, August 15, 2010

Package Deals

Package Deal #1:

[via]
Left to right: Normadesmond and Jason.
Available as a set only. Not sold separately.


Package Deal #2:

[via]
Left to right: Mago, Princess and XL.
All three making their debut drag appearance together. Book early and save.


Package Deal #3:

The combo deal! Book both package deal #1 AND package deal #2 TOGETHER and SAVE SAVE SAVE!

And as a bonus, we’ll throw in Mr. Nude Infomaniac!...

32 comments:

  1. Does this fur make my ass look big?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sweetie, she's marked you down and turned you into a Premium!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is there a return policy here on the MJ shopping network?

    ReplyDelete
  4. AYEM8Y: BITCH!
    First.


    Prices are being slashed as we speak!

    XL: Does this fur make my ass look big?

    You DO own a mirror, don’t you?

    ASK THE COOL COOKIE: Sweetie, she's marked you down and turned you into a Premium!

    Operators are standing by!

    HAYWARD: Is there a return policy here on the MJ shopping network?

    Love it.

    Which has a better ring to it?

    Infomaniac Shopping Channel or Infomaniac Shopping Network?

    ReplyDelete
  5. what the fuck is around my neck? did i just win a race or somethin'?

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  6. NORMADESMOND: what the fuck is around my neck? did i just win a race or somethin'?

    Yes, you’re Miss Cocks in Frocks!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Since your audience is so much bigger than a television broadcast, I would go with Infomaniac Shopping Network (ISN). I can hear the houseboy operators now, "I's in, how may I assist you today?"

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  8. I Knew that Granny's merkin collection would come in handy one day...

    BTW I doub't that anyone could afford me...Dhaarling

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  9. Somehow I can hear him thinking "Does this floatie make my ass look big?"

    Ill book all three to get access to that butt :)

    ***places single chaste kiss on each of Mistress's feet as is proper***

    ReplyDelete
  10. HAYWARD: Since your audience is so much bigger than a television broadcast, I would go with Infomaniac Shopping Network (ISN). I can hear the houseboy operators now, "I's in, how may I assist you today?"

    Thank you, Hayward.

    You are hereby appointed Creative Director of ISN…the Infomaniac Shopping Network.

    PRINCESS: I Knew that Granny's merkin collection would come in handy one day...
    BTW I doub't that anyone could afford me...Dhaarling


    That’s one big merkin to cover your gherkin.

    DAMIEN: Somehow I can hear him thinking "Does this floatie make my ass look big?"
    Ill book all three to get access to that butt :)
    ***places single chaste kiss on each of Mistress's feet as is proper***


    What butt?

    Oh, you mean this butt?

    ReplyDelete
  11. They usually throw in a couple of extra Zumba sticks and a diet plan if you hold out, so I'll be waiting a bit longer.

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  12. Sounds like a good deal, but where are the actual 'packages' I was promised?

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  13. Fur makes everyone's ass look big. And makes it sweat.

    Can I get the big ass hats without the grouchy looking folk? Love me a big ass hat!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You should have warned us, we look a bit like the Kafka sisters on this pic ... "Als mago eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheueren Ungeziefer verwandelt."

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  15. CYBERPOOF: They usually throw in a couple of extra Zumba sticks and a diet plan if you hold out, so I'll be waiting a bit longer.

    *rummages about for Richard Simmons’ “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” dvd*

    IVD: Sounds like a good deal, but where are the actual 'packages' I was promised?

    When you get Mr. Nude Infomaniac, you get a deluxe package.

    BRAHM: Fur makes everyone's ass look big. And makes it sweat.
    Can I get the big ass hats without the grouchy looking folk? Love me a big ass hat!


    No substitutions and all sales are final.

    No exceptions!

    If you do not accept our terms and conditions, we will make you wear the poo hat.

    MAGO: You should have warned us, we look a bit like the Kafka sisters on this pic ... "Als mago eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheueren Ungeziefer verwandelt."

    Eh? You had a nightmare where you found a monster in your bed?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Product Recall. The Trio Grim cat.number 485/630 Country of origin - China. MJ Ltd have been forced to recall the above items as sold in her retail warehouse, due to a reported product defect. The muffs of The Trio Grim can easily become detached presenting a chocking risk to lonely bachelors.

    We wish to thank you for your co-operation and apologise for any inconvenience.

    ReplyDelete
  17. MITZI: Product Recall. The Trio Grim cat.number 485/630 Country of origin - China. MJ Ltd have been forced to recall the above items as sold in her retail warehouse, due to a reported product defect. The muffs of The Trio Grim can easily become detached presenting a chocking risk to lonely bachelors.
    We wish to thank you for your co-operation and apologise for any inconvenience.


    Infomaniac is not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think this was when Miss Norma and I had just finished winning the Plucking Marathon of 1931.

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  19. JASON: I think this was when Miss Norma and I had just finished winning the Plucking Marathon of 1931.

    As I recall, you went on to win another marathon that rhymes with Plucking.

    What a pair of troopers.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mistress, shipping costs for Deal #2 may be a rude surprise as the individual items are dispatched from Franconia, Oz, and Texas!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I found no monster in my bed this morning, only Roses. A nice surprise.

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  22. XL: Mistress, shipping costs for Deal #2 may be a rude surprise as the individual items are dispatched from Franconia, Oz, and Texas!

    Shipping and handling included.

    With emphasis on the handling.

    MAGO: I found no monster in my bed this morning, only Roses. A nice surprise.

    I hope she didn’t ask for a massage!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Package deal #2 looks like the 'befores' at an enema convention.

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  24. MICHAEL GUY: Package deal #2 looks like the 'befores' at an enema convention.

    Was that held in conjunction with your International Mr. Leather conference?

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'll take the whole bunch - but make sure they're handled properly - no burst packages when I unwrap them.

    ReplyDelete
  26. kabuki is wary of package deals,having been burned in the past. which deal has free booze, and maybe a nice coldcut platter?

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  27. I think I'll wait for a better offer, but thanks a anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  28. The Marathon ladies and The Kafka sisters look very cute (do they include Deutsche Marzipans?).

    But I'll take the deluxe pack -even tho he stole my blue furry slippers!-. That lovely butt deserves to be spanked for that!

    Leni Q. (from a lonely beach, with shitty internet and laggy laptop, but connected to the blogosphere, whatever happens).

    ReplyDelete
  29. HEFF: I want a REFUND.

    I take it you’re not interested in our frequent buyer programme?

    LULU: I'll take the whole bunch - but make sure they're handled properly - no burst packages when I unwrap them.

    They don’t burst until you bite into them.

    KABUKI: kabuki is wary of package deals,having been burned in the past. which deal has free booze, and maybe a nice coldcut platter?

    We can offer you a delicious assortment of cocktail weenies.

    CYBERPOOF: I think I'll wait for a better offer, but thanks a anyway.

    Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

    LENI: The Marathon ladies and The Kafka sisters look very cute (do they include Deutsche Marzipans?).
    But I'll take the deluxe pack -even tho he stole my blue furry slippers!-. That lovely butt deserves to be spanked for that!
    Leni Q. (from a lonely beach, with shitty internet and laggy laptop, but connected to the blogosphere, whatever happens).


    Be warned that since being crowned Mr. Nude Infomaniac, he’s become a bit of a diva.

    XL: This is very Kafkaesque.

    What is this?

    A Woody Allen film?

    ReplyDelete