Monday, August 23, 2010

World Domination Tour

Mistress MJ is setting off on Phase 1 of her World Domination Tour…


[via]

As you can see, her shoe collection (protected by a bodyguard) is already packed and has gone on ahead of her…



Infomaniac returns in early September.

While Mistress MJ is away, the Infomaniac Dancers will entertain you…

82 comments:

  1. I hope that you have packed your Ruby Slippers...

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  2. I see your bodyguard is cocked and loaded.

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  3. where is this world domination tour going to take you? will you deign to touch soil in my town? i do hope so...

    funny though....i'm going to BC next week.

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  4. PRINCESS: I hope that you have packed your Ruby Slippers...

    When I gain those ruby slippers, my power will be the greatest in Oz!

    Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

    JASON: I see your bodyguard is cocked and loaded.

    And ready to pistol whip anyone who tries to steal my shoes.

    KEVIN: where is this world domination tour going to take you? will you deign to touch soil in my town? i do hope so...
    funny though....i'm going to BC next week.


    Yes, your town is on the agenda.

    Would I miss the “Best Ass” contest at Woody’s?

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  5. oh Mistress!

    Do let me know when you plan on being in the home of the best ass/chest/legs/abs home of Canada!

    (even privately, if you must!)

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  6. "early September"

    The Betty Ford Clinic is offering express service now?

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  7. So you're oot & aboot eh?
    Tell your bodyguard that he shouldn't be playing on the street and that it's rude to point.
    We'll see ya when we see ya.

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  8. Do be careful. It's a jungle out there.

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  9. KEVIN: oh Mistress!
    Do let me know when you plan on being in the home of the best ass/chest/legs/abs home of Canada!
    (even privately, if you must!)


    Oh Kevin, a lady never tells.

    But if you see a woman staring at you judgmentally through her lorgnette, you can buy her a drink.

    XL: "early September"
    The Betty Ford Clinic is offering express service now?


    Do you have a problem with that?

    OTTO DIDACTIC: So you're oot & aboot eh?
    Tell your bodyguard that he shouldn't be playing on the street and that it's rude to point.
    We'll see ya when we see ya.


    We hope to be seeing YOU in The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts by the time we return.

    CYBERPOOF: Do be careful. It's a jungle out there.

    Why thank you…now see comment to Otto.

    PIGGY: No! Don't be careful!

    Your proctologist called. They found your head.

    Let’s show everyone here your arse again, shall we?

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  10. Bring along a bit of bail money.

    I'm reading about the history of the freakin' green elf shorts for the first time from your link. Instead of bail money all you need is a low cut top with that rack of yours.

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  11. Oh I know this plot. MJ goes away for a while...and comes back played by a different actress.

    One of the characters says something like "I see you're completely recovered from your head transplant, MJ", and they get on with the episode.

    Which only leaves the question, which lady will be recast as Infomaniac? My money's on Tazzy - haven't seen him for a while.

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  12. My, the dancer in the middle has such a *perky* tail of grass comong out his ass...

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  13. i should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the shoes!

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  14. HAYWARD: Bring along a bit of bail money.
    I'm reading about the history of the freakin' green elf shorts for the first time from your link. Instead of bail money all you need is a low cut top with that rack of yours.


    What rack? Oh, you mean this one?

    If CyberPete ever sends The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts to “Otto” (DONN) in Canada, then you’ll have a chance to win them.

    Donn is scheduled to host the next Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Competition IF The Shorts ever make it from Denmark to Canada.

    KAPI: Oh I know this plot. MJ goes away for a while...and comes back played by a different actress.
    One of the characters says something like "I see you're completely recovered from your head transplant, MJ", and they get on with the episode.
    Which only leaves the question, which lady will be recast as Infomaniac? My money's on Tazzy - haven't seen him for a while.


    Ooooo yes…. Everyone loves big, butch Tazzy.

    ASK THE COOL COOKIE: My, the dancer in the middle has such a *perky* tail of grass comong out his ass...

    All the better to tickle your fancy.

    NORMADESMOND: i should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the shoes!

    And isn’t that all that matters, my darling?

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  15. You know you have an evening of drinks on me, should you whirl through Ogreville.

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  16. Oh dear. if you keep that up, I'm not sure you will be missed while away.

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  17. Of COURSE it's world domination for Mistress MJ, she already dominates the blog world! Have fun, be safe, drink loads, boss around boys! x

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  18. Bon Voyage!!! I'll be back in September too.

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  19. Will it all culminate in Phase IV?

    Travel safe.

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  20. SALTY MISS JILL: You know you have an evening of drinks on me, should you whirl through Ogreville.

    My GPS isn’t showing Ogreville.

    Did I take a wrong turn?

    HEFF: You travel too much.

    Count yourself lucky that I’m not stopping by your neck of the woods where I have a few “kinfolk”.

    CYBERPOOF: Oh dear. if you keep that up, I'm not sure you will be missed while away.

    Just put The Shorts in the mail or I’ll whack you with my high heel.

    LA DIVA CUCINA: Of COURSE it's world domination for Mistress MJ, she already dominates the blog world! Have fun, be safe, drink loads, boss around boys! x

    Will you accompany me as my personal chef?

    MANUEL: have fun n that...

    Especially “that”.

    BOXER: Bon Voyage!!! I'll be back in September too.

    Yay!

    MAGO: Will it all culminate in Phase IV?
    Travel safe.


    I’ve set ant traps in the MistressMobile.

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  21. Ah yes the dreaded World Damnation tour. I hope you planned ahead this time and won’t be delayed by your Monthly Satanic Blackout.

    Bon Vadge

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  22. There is always a room ready for you in Blighty, Mistress... and a table set for you in Cafe C.
    Sx
    Have a good time!

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  23. AYEM8Y: Ah yes the dreaded World Damnation tour. I hope you planned ahead this time and won’t be delayed by your Monthly Satanic Blackout.
    Bon Vadge


    Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor SATANIC CRAMPS FROM HELL stays Mistress MJ from the swift completion of her appointed rounds.

    SCARLET: There is always a room ready for you in Blighty, Mistress... and a table set for you in Cafe C.
    Sx
    Have a good time!


    Ta very much, Miss Scarlet!

    Blighty is on the list for another phase of the World Domination Tour.

    Along with Paris and Rome.

    Is it safe to order Ma Beastie’s Chickpea Curry at Café C?

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  24. If you ever visit Killamory don't be fooled, they all know me there no matter how much they deny it.

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  25. OLD KNUDSEN: If you ever visit Killamory don't be fooled, they all know me there no matter how much they deny it.

    My dream is to visit your birthplace: Frigadoon.

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  26. The Chickpea curry: personally, I wouldn't!
    Sx

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  27. PEENEE: Where's my damn monkey?

    I'm not back yet!

    SCARLET: The Chickpea curry: personally, I wouldn't!

    No one wants a gastric disturbance to ruin their fun.

    Please take care of Mr. Beastie while I’m away.

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  28. Take care of him? You mean like in the 'do him in' fashion?

    Is it September yet? No? Thank fuck.

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  29. PIGGY: Take care of him? You mean like in the 'do him in' fashion?
    Is it September yet? No? Thank fuck.


    I’ll have you know that under all that swagger, Mr. Beastie is a delicate hothouse flower.

    He’s poorly at the moment and WEARING A GIRDLE.

    Oh, and I’ll miss you too.

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  30. Screw them dancers - come back!

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  31. i miss you already, sugar! xoxox

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  32. Christ, chip a tooth on your shoe U-Haul dude...

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  33. MAGO: Screw them dancers - come back!

    They’re screwing each OTHER.

    I’ll be back asap…sometime in the first week of September.

    SAVANNAH: i miss you already, sugar!

    Your postcard is ready to go!

    MICHAEL GUY: Christ, chip a tooth on your shoe U-Haul dude...

    Do you like his shoe horn?

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  34. Dammit! Late again. I suppose you've already gone? Ah, well...

    * helps self to the Houseboys *

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  35. Enjoy the tour! I hope your bodyguard is licensed to carry that weapon in public.

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  36. If the doctor had allowed me to wear my six inch stilettos I'd have kicked the shit out of you darling.

    Hope the moving men are young and studly.

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  37. I'm counting the days to early September, Mistress. Have a nice and safe trip while be wait.
    If you don't mind I think I'll fancy a dance with the Infomaniac dancers. :)

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  38. I've just heard on the news that September has been put back until February.

    Oh please let it be true.

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  39. Never before has such beauty been paired with such truth. I predict a massive sellout crowd in every city, even those you don't visit. Forget about 'dead-heads' it is now 'info-heads' that are the coolest. Trust me, kabuki will be backstage with 3 dozen red roses. Nothing less befits such granduer. ps kabuki love you long time.

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  40. The infomaniac dancers are far superior to Circle the Sun While looking like Complete Twats, or whatever they're called, being Froggish and dancing about like Tits.

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  41. Ewwww! Tits!

    Yuk!

    *vomits*

    *violently*

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  42. Titties feed the world! BRING ON THE BODACIOUS TA TA'S!!!!

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  43. It's September now. No more excuses. The car broke down, bodyguard's weapon jammed, wild squirrels run amok ... Just let's say where we are and go back to the car ... Out of Rosenheim meets Sleepy Hollow featuring Fran Zappa twohunnderdandone motels: Feed your head! - silence, white noise.

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  44. The Infomaniac Dancers are entertaining, tho not nearly as entertaining as their Mistress.

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  45. how early is early, sugar? xoxoxox

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  46. Still busy taking over the world.

    Back asap.

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  48. I could have done with your help in bed last night MJ as I was faced with a hard one! 5 across: L*rgnet*e

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  49. Can't you come over and dominate me a bit?
    All with moderation, eh?

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  50. just wondering if the Tour is over and where I can buy a TShirt?

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  51. kabuki will meet you in Monte Carlo for champagne cocktails, and just a nibble of caviar. kabuki will be in the white strapless valentino, hanging by the cute bartender.

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  52. Mr Beastie has taken Mistress MJ hostage in the Beastie Dungeon... he is torturing her by parading back and forth in front of her wearing nothing but a pair of green crocs.
    It is awful and I can hear her screams.
    Sx

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  53. Hello bitches.

    I'm baaack!

    Where's the vodka fountain? Who's moved it?

    Damn it, I was only gone for 2 months and you've changed things.

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  54. I think he added white socks, Scarlet. I lost sight of the fountain some weeks ago, but my vision comes back slowly, Roses.

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  55. **drags in newly purchased vodka fountain with dual rotating fountains**

    Hellooooo Roses. I bought this just for you and me!!!!

    I say we mess this place up while MJ's away.

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  56. Oooo....fantastic new fountain. Are those spotlights? Funky. No point just looking at how pretty it is, pour me a large one!

    Sooo....

    It's Friday and September. Am I early for the party?

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  57. Did you manage to smuggle in a crate of "Carib", Roses?

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  58. Sorry mago, drank them all before I packed.

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  59. Sorry mago, drank them all before I packed.

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  60. Did Someone mention party?...
    I'll have a double... of any thing... an entendre will be fine thanks...

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  61. **drags in a crate of the good stuff**

    I think it's going to be a long weekend.

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  62. [looks at calendar, looks at Infomaniac]

    It is September you know.

    Oh Hai Boxer! Grey Goose?

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  63. I bring some bottles of new Silvaner, Ludwig this time even got better: 13% pure joy!

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  64. Hai XL, Mago and Roses. To the rest of Infomaniacs; how long do we wait for MJ to return before we start redecorating?

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  65. Redecorating is always an option!
    Is this fountain a Garvens product, Boxer?

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  66. Mago? How did you know? Yes, it's the Zimmerbrunnen M28. "Classy" and yet? Very functional. And, plenty of room for everyone and their straws.

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  67. Aww ... porcellain And lights! I think there are different colours available. But yeah - the colours, now that I think about ...

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  68. I've got a hankering to change the Plaid Room into the Paisley Room.

    What do you think?

    *pops open a beastly cold Carib and has a long drink*

    Cheers.

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  69. Eary September has already passed. Where are you Mistress?

    **hoovers red carpet for the umpteenth time**

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  70. I emant EARLY not EARY (whatever it means)

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  71. I meant EARLY not EARY (whatever it means)

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  72. **continues drinking from new vodka fountain**

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  73. [Puts on new shoes, shuffles feet to create static electricity. Looks for Mago.]

    Oh Hai Leni! Nice job on the carpet!

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  74. Oh for heaven's sake...the world wasn't dominated in a day, you know.

    Mistress MJ will return shortly.

    And she's not pleased about the vodka spillage on her carpet!

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  75. Come on over to Beastbite and see whats really been going on!

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