Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Call Now!

The Infomaniac Shopping Network wants your business!



Mr. Nude Infomaniac is standing by to take your call!

Place your orders now and tell him what you want!

23 comments:

  1. Are you Sure that He's Standing?...
    I'll only be placing an order if he is fully erect....

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  2. I wonder if its true that Mr. Nude Infomaniac gives good phone...

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  3. Bitches, I’m listening in on the party line.

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  4. I want him to stick that phone up his ass.

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  5. Heff, honey, you have to pay EXTRA for THAT!

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  6. Hmmm... I can hear very heavy breathing on the party line. If it's not you MJ, it must be that 'Petra!

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  7. “Thank you for calling the Infomaniac Shopping Network...How may I help you?”

    “I want him to stick that phone up his ass...”

    “Oh I’m sorry Ma’am I answered the wrong line...”

    “Thank you for calling the Infomaniac Sex Hotline...How may I help you?”

    “Pssst...it’s Heff again...Yes Sir...You’ll have to speak up a little louder cause I can barely hear you...Yes I have the phone up my ass...but there is an echo in here...So...What are you wearing?”

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  8. Damn.

    We've run out of disinfecting phone wipes again.

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  9. I'm wondering if he also delivers?

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  10. If you've got the entire phone up your ass, I'd love to see you dial out. He's a man of many talents.

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  11. I will not make a derogatory comment about how a phone up yer arse is perfect for Americans since their heds are up their holes too, oh no not me.

    I would like three large pizzas with sausage of course....... oh and a small diet cola.

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  12. Get me Jesus on the line, I wanna be sold something good.

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  13. “Thank you for calling the Infomaniac Pizza Parlor...Shopping Network...Sex Hotline...We deliver...How may I help you?”

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  14. I'd be interested in a large package

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  15. I'd like the special Ginzomatic Cubic Zirconia Dildo, with extra pepperoni, thank you.

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  16. Jason if your wait is more than 30 minutes it's on me.

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  17. MDP looks like he's saying "Hey MJ! Look what I just pulled out! I'd forgotten it was in there. You're sure that's what they meant by Phone Sex?"

    Well. I think that's what he's saying.

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  18. Miss J will take Dizziness and
    Tingling in extremities. Put it on her card.

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  19. The calls have been pouring in and the orders are stacking up. I hardly have time to get them out the door before the switchboard lights up again. Business is moving along briskly.

    ATTENTION: FREE GIFT,

    As an extra added bonus to one of our next 100 callers the Mistress will deliver purchases to your home in person*. This lucky customer will receive a free lap dance and be serenaded by Mistress from her swing that will be lowered from your ceiling by a crane all while twirling a parasol and vibrato whistling like a bird.

    *Lucky recipient will be drawn deliberately by Mistress and must meet stringent background and credit checks. Fingerprinting may be required. Gratuities are mandatory.

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  20. i'd like one of those ISN charge-a-plates, you know, the ones where i get something back.

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  21. Right. Let's wrap this up and move along to the next caller.

    See new post.

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