Sunday, December 28, 2008

MJ & Beast’s Book Club

Many times Beast and Mistress MJ have been asked to incorporate their separate book clubs into one.

But we could never come to an agreement on which titles to select and it was a source of constant argument.

Mistress MJ & Beast quarrel in “Scenes from a Stinky Duvet”

You see, Beast likes Chick Lit and Mistress MJ likes Dick Lit.

Beast enjoys nothing more than to chit chat about single, urban women and their man troubles as they shop for shoes and sip cosmopolitans ….hmmm.. sounds like we're describing a day in the life of CyberPoof.

Whereas Mistress MJ would rather discuss homoerotica; tales of backroom bumfun and blowjobs…hmmm…sounds like a night out with Mssrs. Frobisher, Hardhouse and Kapitano.

Needless to say, it’s been a constant power struggle between Beast and Mistress MJ as to which titles will be selected for their mutual book club.

Until now.

Today we’ll all be reading “Things You Can Do While You’re Naked.” This book is a guide to doing everyday activities in the nude.

Beast, put your frilly pinny on and serve the canapés while I gather everyone ‘round to discuss today’s selection.

Please turn to page 113 to read the Book Club study questions.

1. What everyday activity do you perform while you’re naked?

2. What would you like to do while you’re naked that you haven’t already done?

Beast, for example, likes to vacuum in the altogether…

Oh and just one more thing. Participants in our Book Club must be naked!

Thank you. Help yourself to tea and canapés as Beast comes around with the serving tray.


  1. Please assure us that Scenes from a Stinky Duvet don't include THIS INNOVATION!!!

  2. p.s. I don't join clubs. I hate rules.

  3. Ooch!
    I must deduce by the circular swollen appearance of his sac that Beast was hoovering his man-carpet.

    Thank goodness that's not a Dyson Dual Cyclone bagless vacuum cleaner! The principle of cyclonic separation is one nasty mofo!

  4. Is Beast chewing on your hair, MJ? Feed him some of those canapes, for heaven's sake!

    The decor in Beast's room is amazingly mundane.... I would have expected something a bit more... um... colourful?

    I brush my teeth naked.... nothing exciting there.

    I have been asked if I would ride my horse naked, but the answer is NO! That would be much too uncomfortable... just think of the saddle sores... yikes!

  5. First! HaHa! I'm catching up with those others now.

    Everyday activities in the nuddy? I like to go to bed naked, in fact I do it all the time. I also like to have a bath whilst I'm naked too.

  6. I forgot to answer question 2.

  7. I sleep and brush my teeth in the nude.

    Unlike Ginro I haven't bathed in the nude - maybe that should be the thing I haven't already done while I'm naked.

    Poor Beastie; big man, small penis.

  8. I weigh myself in the nude.

  9. is there something wrong with doing things naked? i guess i live where a great many dares include being naked so i've been in a few different situations: swimming, streaking, cleaning, running through the cornfields playing tag, i even stripped naked in the back yard this summer before coming in the house...i was at a roach infested home and scared to bring any creepy crawlies inside with me...i have always wanted to go sky diving naked...but as i have an aversion to heights...i don't know that it will happen any time soon...

  10. Oooh, Daisy. My new friend, lol.

  11. XL: A scratch and sniff card is included in the price of admission.

    BOXER: Third?

    You’re slipping.

    Where’s that Leah? She’s been having quite the run on luck lately.

    DONN: Beast has a special shag rake for his unruly man carpet.

    PONITA: Click here for a closer look into Beast’s bedroom.

    Note the barf bucket on the night table for women who wake up after they’ve removed their beer goggles.

  12. GINRO: Please don’t overexcite the ladies who read this blog.

    CYBERPOOF: It is a little on the small side, isn’t it?

    Beast may have been experimenting with the vacuum attachments.

    KAZ: It might help to pee first before you step on the scale.

    You could shed a few ounces!

    DAISY: There is nothing wrong with doing things naked unless your name is Beast and you’ve left the curtains wide open.

    GINRO: Daisy is a lovely person.

    Have the two of you not been properly introduced?

  13. How dare you Madam , I would never be pictured nekkid without my trusty dyson and with such an miniscule crevice tool!

  14. mj you are too kind...and i have been in such a foul mood the last couple of weeks...thanks for overlooking my short comings...

  15. The device didn't improve it much.

    So sad looking. Bless.

  16. I blow my nose naked.

    Other things I've been known to do in the buff:

    * Say the word "Falafel"

    * Pluck the hairs on my toes

    * Balance a cucumber on my left ear

    * Play whist backwards

    * Invent a new cocktail with prune juice and amphetamine sulphate

    * Be smug

  17. BEAST: I see you have the bagless unit.

    DAISY: You may take your frustrations out on the bare bottoms of my houseboys.

    CYBERPOOF: Luckily, Beast has other skills such as cooking that make up for his obvious shortcomings.

    KAPI: Very impressive but come back when you can do all those things simultaneously!

  18. I can cook too, but I hear he loves cleaning.

    He can get a job cleaning my flat once a week - if he does it fully dressed

  19. Overexcite them? Once they see the forest on my legs that barf bucket on the table will be coming in handy for few of them, lol!

    Still not answered question 2. Not going to either as, based on other responses MJ, you'd probably put on the knuckle dusters before you slap me this time.

    And no, I have not been introduced to Miss Daisy as yet. Miss Daisy, would you care to share an afternoon tea with me?

  20. I once decorated in the nuddie. Fell off the ladder and accidently sat on an aubergine. Soon sorted out by those wonderfull chaps at A&E.
    Next time I'll only leave things around that have a hilt.

  21. I have done too many things nekkid to list them all here

  22. CYBERPOOF: Beast will wiggle his ample arse as he dusts your tchotchkes.

    GINRO: A hairy body can overexcite some of us, especially a hairy arse (like MANUEL’s arse). I’m just sayin’.

    However, please refrain from showing more than a hint of ankle on your first tea appointment with Miss Daisy.

    TICKERS: I suggest you exercise caution around your jar of maraschino cherries.

    BEAST: Please refrain from compiling a list.

    I wish to sleep without nightmares tonight.

  23. TONY: The thought of you blogging naked is most pleasing to Mistress MJ as you have a very peachy arse.

  24. I wear clothes naked. seriously. i put them on while I'm NAKED.

  25. So, hairy legs eh? Hehe.

    "I wish to sleep without nightmares tonight"

    And you'll be having flashbacks for years. People will find you huddled in a corner shaking and whispering "No. No. Nooooo. Not the stinky duvet." It's been happening to me for days now, ever since the nurse tried to take a blood sample and skewered a nerve by mistake.

    And Daisy hasn't accepted yet, so I guess that's orf.

  26. I just read that back to myself, and no I don't have flashbacks about stinky duvets. I meant needles. The last time the nurse took a blood test I didn't feel a thing, and do you know what she said? "Yes, I used a new one this time." :O :O :O

  27. daisy's nursing a migraine and not feeling so up to snuff...but tea does sound lovely...ty

  28. NATIONS: You’re a naked nonconformist.

    You run amok through our blogs, waving your bra above your head, woot woot wooting your warrior cry and wreaking havoc amongst us decent folk.

    CYBERPOOF: Beast’s wiggly arse and “delightful” have never been used in the same sentence before.

    GINRO: *spits out a leg hair*

    Daisy is just playing hard to get.

    DAISY: You have a headache?

    Oh that’s the oldest trick in the book!

  29. crikey......and on a sunday well I never.......

  30. 1) Sleep.
    2) Nothing.

  31. 1. What everyday activity do you perform while you’re naked?


    2. What would you like to do while you’re naked that you haven’t already done?

    Christmas caroling or ringing the Salvation Army bell or washing the windows. Maybe a nice long jog--streaking doesn't count here.