Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The 12 Gays of Christmas

Mistress MJ cannot be with you today.

In her place, The Infomaniac Dancers have offered to step in to perform The 12 Gays of Christmas

And for those of you who would prefer a topic of conversation over entertainment, today’s subject is HOLLAND!

Famulus and Ginro clomp about Holland looking for leaky dikes

Note: I shall attempt to poke my head in now and again but no guarantees. Try to behave yourselves.


  1. I don't have anything to say really, apart from this:

    I'm 5th!

  2. MAXI: I'm not gone I see what you've done.

    Stop it before I take you over my knee.

  3. The Dutch are top notch Calvinists who believe that every man should seek out his own salvation.

    Their canals have been compared to the concentric circles of hell, but in a good way.

  4. third? At 4:20 f-ing PM?

    I hope you're off doing something fun-like.

  5. omg...that is just what i needed at the end of this extremely fucked up day! thank you mj :)

  6. clomp clomp clolomp ...

  7. I just love jazz hands, especially when they are so festive.

    Tell Maxi Cane not to hog the positions, I want some!!!

  8. I see the little Dutch Boys have their "gouda" bags firmly in hand.

  9. Garfer: The Dutch are top notch Calvinists who believe that every man should seek out his own salvation.

    As I recall, Calvinists believe every person is damned or saved before birth. A few are born great, noble, admirable and saved - the rest are scum.

    But I'm afraid I've never experienced Dutch boys or their canals.

  10. That vids a classic, lol. I'd like to see all of us doing that.

  11. What a great video - I laughed out loud! Too funny!!!

    If we tried to do that, we would be falling all over each other!

    Of course, that would probably make a pretty funny video as well - maybe we could market it and make a bundle!

    I know nothing of Calvinists.... but those clogs are cool. I think my cat wants one as a bed.

  12. soooo.... are you and leah off in crampland together?!?!?

  13. I'm confused, I don't see anyone wearing orange.

    Where is IDV?

  14. Tulips! Good for arrangements with a leafy dyke.
    Have my glasses turned up yet?

  15. CyberPete: We only do orange on Fridays...

    Scarls: I'll bring you tulips sometime soon. Wooden ones ok?

    As for Calvinists, they keep a low profile here. Mostly reformists showing their heads.

    MJ: Can I be 69 again? Please?

  16. Yeah!
    Even better than the Village People.

  17. Talk about making the Yule tide Gay!!!

    Perhaps if Ginro and Famulus were at a home improvement store, they would have better luck plugging those dikes.

  18. If anyone would like to present me with a dyke to plug, I would be more than happy to do the plugging. How long does a plugging last? Does it need to be done regularly or does that depend upon the dyke?

    Can a dyke be plugged by several people at once or can I have my own? Maybe I can plug several together.

    This whole dyke issue is becoming complicated.

  19. *meanwhile, somewhere near the Rembrandt Museum...
    seated comfortably in the Rastababy cafe, enjoying a 'honey' muffin and a twist of White Widow, FirstNations succumbs to a fit of uncontrollable giggles and slides slowly to the floor*


  20. Fammy: you can be 69 with me any time, honey! Never mind the dykes... they can look after themselves.

  21. Ponita: OK. Looking forward to it. Probably not going to have the stamina to plug the dykes going on Ponita's normal performance... Ginro, they are all yours...

  22. I would say 'alsebleift' but seeing as I haven't a clue how to spell it, only how to say it, you'll have to take a wild guess as to what I mean, lol.

    And then there's 'nietakeloven' or something. Otherwise corrupted, depending how drunk we were, to 'knitapullover' or 'needalegover' etc etc.

    It's starting to come back to me...NO!

  23. Ha! My evil plan to get Ginro to speak dutch is working... Sort of... ;-)

    Do you think that Mistress will slaap me if I ask her...

    Hoi, MJ wil je neuken?

    Tee hee hee

  24. Fammy, is slaap a Dutch word or did your fingers just linger a bit too long on the 'a'?

  25. Oops. Fingers out of control again Ponita. Could you warm them for me...?

    Slaap is a Dutch word but not what I meant.

    The word that I meant is English and goes with tickle... :-)

  26. Snuggle in with me, Fammy dear.... I will warm your fingers for you... I much prefer the tickle over the slap....

    *shivers with excitement*

    So what does the Dutch word slaap mean, then?

  27. Ponita: Ik slaap == I sleep (I am asleep)

    Wonderful to have you as a hand warmer too...

    How was The Great Outdoors today? Still cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey?

  28. Fammy: Ooooo, I love being your hand warmer! It feels so.... hot!

    You can teach me Dutch anytime, darling. I would love to learn another language. Of course, it is difficult to pick up on the pronunciation this way... guess I will just have to come visit you in your little hideaway in Amsterdam.

    It is -25C here right now, but lo and behold! There is NO wind! Which means it is -25C here right now. Not -40 something with the arctic blast howling down from the north, as is very common. And blazingly sunny too, I might add. Gotta wear shades all year long here. Except when it is -40 I get brain freeze from the outside, with them sitting on my nose so numbingly cold.

  29. Ponita: You keep those hands warm and they'll repay you in anyway you choose. :-)

    As for learning a second language, well, Dutch is not the one to choose. I'd like to learn German (which, granted, is pretty close to Dutch). We could do that together?

    As for your visit, my hideaway awaits...

  30. Looks like everyone had a gay old time.

  31. *peeks in*

    *sees that most bitches are well behaved except for Famulus and Ponita*

    *assumes I’ve wandered into Amsterdam’s Red Light District and wanders back out again*

    Kus mijn kont, bitches!

  32. If It Had Been 3 Queens (not Kings) Bringing Gifts To The Baby Jesus......Then The Whole Of Human History Might Have Been very,very different..........

  33. Don't Dutch people have big feet? Also they have walls on the ground...

  34. They shower more frequently than the Belgians. And while they're just as perverted as Germans, they're far less extroverted in the expression of their perversions.

  35. Ponita: You can spell it but not pronounce it, I can pronounce it but can't spell it, lol!

  36. Love it Love it Love it!
    Now I am finally starting to feel festive.
    This is exactly what Christmas is supposed to be about, the Gheyst of Christmas Past.

    Thank You
    XX OO

  37. *pops head in again*

    Hello you buncha krazy kids.

    Have Famulus and Ponita booked a room somewhere?

    *flounces off again*

  38. Yes MJ, and we've got it all set up with lighting and camera's etc. hidden behind two-way mirrors. There's even one in the beds headboard. So far they haven't got a clue they're about to hit the silver screen.

  39. Yes, yes...but why can you not be with us today? I want a YouTube vid of you doing that dance.

  40. I'll have the front three gays under my tree, thanks very much.

  41. You can record anything you want, Ginro.... as long as you give us a cut of the royalties. We're really not shy, you know....

    *takes Fammy by the hand and flounces off into that room with the very large mirrors on all the walls*

  42. A very special thanks to The Infomaniac Dancers for filling in for Mistress MJ today.

    And thanks to all you bitches you dropped by.

    A private screening of the Famulus/Ponita (Famita) "art" film will be shown soon. Date TBA.

  43. Sorry Ponita but it's being distributed free in the interests of science and the arts. I'm feeling a little bit unwell at the moment though so might be a little while in posting it. I saw some things that man wasn't supposed to see :s

  44. How long is the tape? Do we need to stop occassionally for you to change cassettes? You'll be sure to get everything from multiple angles too?

    Actually, don't worry too much about getting it all on tape first time, we'll be ready for take 2 after a short break... If you could ensure that we have a few staff on standyby to put out any fires that we start and provide us with hydration then we'll be finished with the room by the middle of next week.

    I take no responsibility for damage to furniture or psychological scaring to cameramen...

    Enjoy... ;-)

  45. This is going to outsell the Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee honeymoon video.

    Cash grab!

  46. Illegal immigrant trying to get away from the UK and go back home, has been caught six times and dragged back.

    Oh good, the Daily Fail giving the full and unbiased story, as usual.

    If you want to promote our dance troupe, just tell the paper we're inspired by Al-Quaida. It'll be on the front page.

  47. Oh God it's a gRuniad reader, lol.

  48. Me and Honey made a porno once.. it was virtual reality and blue screened as she never left Australia...

  49. Would anyone else like to star with me ?

  50. MUTLEY: Me and Honey made a porno once.. it was virtual reality and blue screened as she never left Australia...

    Would anyone else like to star with me ?

    How about it, BITCHES?

    Anyone up for a co-starring role with MR. MUTLEY in his new film?

  51. Men and women equally welcome...!!



    Hello oo !!

    Is this thing still working?

  52. *sigh*
    I've always volunteered for stuff. Why must I be so stupid?
    OK, provided it's a woman that is the centre of attention, none of this 'bi' stuff.

  53. MUTLEY: Everyone's on a pee break.

    And I have to go to work.

    Put your request in today's comment box and they'll sign up faster.