DONN:
I think we all know by now that Donn had both a birthday AND a vasectomy this week.
That prima donna has had his moment in the spotlight so let’s turn to someone else for a change.
TICKERS:
You think you had a bad week?
That’s nothing compared to Tickers whose cat Miko shat on the venty part of his computer monitor!
The culprit
PONITA:
-24C with a windchill factor of -31C!
The blogger formerly known as Ponygirl shows us what it takes to go outdoors in a Canadian winter.
MANUEL:
Manuel, Ireland’s finest waiter, defines “suicide by waiter”.
Let’s just say that some cretin put “fucking ketchup” on sea bass.
Jebus wept.
MUTLEY:
Preparations for Xmas are well underway at Mutley Towers and Mr. Mutley hopes the lovely Bonita will drop by to wet her flaps.
Mr. Mutley seeks your Xmas economy tips.
FROBISHER:
Mr. Frobisher made his Christmas list which includes the following:
- A bottle of ginger wine (non-alcholic!)
- X-Men 3 (the worst in the trilogy, and I'd already seen it).
(Note from Infomaniac: We misread this as “3 X-rated men”!)
- A coin purse made from the scrotum of a kangeroo .
- Various acrylic jumpers (all returned to shops on Boxing Day for cash refunds)
- A quilted hot-water bottle cover
- A Mynah bird.
WW:
Winky Wienerhead experienced erectile dysfunction with his Christmas tree.
I have also noticed that he has a lot of photos of Donn in his house.
WORLD CHAMP STEPHEN NEAL:
Disappointed with the appearance of Mistress MJ, Beast, Ms. Nations, Scarlet, Mr. Frobisher, and Mr. T., The Champ has established an official OFFICIAL WCSN DRESS CODE!
Who knew that Beast had taken to excessive manscaping and that Ms. Nations had bathroom stall graffiti tattooed on her feet?
AND FINALLY…
Phlegmfatale
Welcome back to Texas gal PHLEGMFATALE.
Go over to her blog, Fatale Abstraction, and introduce yourselves.
Her many interests include shoes, dogs, and Nina Simone’s overbite!
round this up....
ReplyDeleteFIRST
ReplyDeletesecond...really.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Shoes! Someone mentioned shoes! Where?
ReplyDeleteNo mention of Beasts titanic struggle against the dreaded MANFLU.
ReplyDeleteWhat Frobisher didn't tell anyone was he re wrapped the bottle of non alcholic ginger wine and gave it to me three months late ! . Thats the last time I scour the interwebs for Kangaroo testicle related presents for him....pah
I have now put my clothes back on and the right way round. I hope this will satisfy Mr Champ, and I apologise to his electrical wiring.
ReplyDeleteSx
I sympathise with Manuel and the abused fish. But I ordered sea bass last week and it came with a plate full of chick peas (cold and from a tin).
ReplyDeleteI could have used that ketchup.
beast gave daisy the flu under that damn duvet!
ReplyDeleteYour lucky you got away with the flu Daisy!
ReplyDeleteAll very enjoyable, really, until the part where I was forced to speak Canadian and had to get my celsius-to-fahrenheit converter out...
ReplyDeleteBOXER: You’re back in fighting form, I see.
ReplyDeleteSAVANNAH: It’s best to stand aside and let Boxer get her way from time to time.
CYBERPOOF: Ah yes, shoes…
Phlegmfatale is one of us.
BEAST: You’re such a drama queen.
Mr. Hardhouse informs me that your duvet is not only smelly, it’s pee-stained.
You disgust me, therefore you are banned this week from The Roundup.
SCARLET: You wouldn’t want to be held responsible for an international blackout.
KAZ: Where were you dining?
ReplyDeleteThe Rovers Return?
Couldn’t you have shelled out the extra few pounds for a decent meal at The Clock?
DAISY: Frobi is right.
FROBI: I hope Miss Daisy has had her shots.
LEAH: Maybe you should put your glasses back on and it would make more sense!
Erectile dysfunction with a Christmas tree looks very sad to experience. My condolences.
ReplyDeleteJust out of curiosity - are you up to date with Corrie?
ReplyDeleteAnd no I don't want to cause an international black out. I wouldn't be able to find my shoes.
Sx
HEFF: Do you suppose dissolving a Viagra tablet in the base of the tree stand would help?
ReplyDeleteSCARLET: We’re about 9 months behind the UK in Corrie episodes.
Liam and Maria just got married.
On Friday, the final scene showed Violet spread-eagled on a table at The Rovers, about to push out her sprog.
It's one thing being spread-eagled on a table, but to push out a sprog?
ReplyDeleteThat's just not dignified.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFunily enough , I had to get a new mattress after Alfie the wonder dog exploded during the night and seived about a gallon of piss through my mattress , duvet and me(It wasnt his fault he was recovering from a general aneathestic). I was only glad the mattress delivery and take away service came after dark or the whole street would have been talking about my spectacularly staining. It was bad enough scuttling into the laundromat at 7 in the morning with a still steaming duvet.....oh happy days
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: And she has her GAY SPERM DONOR by her side.
ReplyDeleteBEAST: How low can you go…
Blaming it on the dog.
Tsk.
Sounds like Days of our Lives to me.
ReplyDeletePoor Donn.
ReplyDeleteWho the hell puts ketchup on sea bass? I mean, really!!
That flaccid Christmas tree is perhaps the saddest thing I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteTicker's cat didn't crap on that, too, did it?
CYBERPOOF: Ah but does Days of our Lives have a bookie on the street, or a chippy, or a kebab shop?
ReplyDeleteAnd do the characters toil away at a knickers factory?
I don’t THINK so.
RANDOM: Canadians have ketchup-flavoured potato chips.
Enough said.
IVD: Your prolapsed rectum is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
Blimey... Corrie is really good at the minute... I will keep schtum.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: Thanks for keeping schtum, Miss Scarlet.
ReplyDeleteTazzy and Piggy used to take great pleasure in revealing future big plot storylines to me.
They gleefully informed me of Vera’s death months before she passed away.
But I'm curious...
Does Hayley ever come back from Africa?
Maybe I should check out Corrie sometime. Is it like Eastenders?
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Corrie is funnier and campier than EastEnders.
ReplyDeleteEastEnders got so depressing/boring that I stopped watching it.
Although having said that, at the moment there doesn’t seem to be anyone on Corrie who’s truly happy.
I think Canadians need ketchup flavored condoms.
ReplyDeleteEven better ketchup flavored panties...to go with edible undies. Okay, I'll stop.
ReplyDeleteYou big old Blonker !
ReplyDeleteYour shame is revealed over at Beastbites
***titters***
WOW!
ReplyDeleteRANDOM: I think some Americans have over-active imaginations.
ReplyDeleteBEAST: I’m on my way over there now.
You’d better not make me regret this.
VOICES: OH YEAH!
Wow! Oooh! Surprised me to find myself on here. YAYS! More shoe-oriented pipples. Me likee. I vowed not to buy any new shoes until 2009. Counting the minutes... I've weakened, but I think I'm going to make it. Meanwhile, I'm getting the old ones out and fondling them...
ReplyDeletei do not have foot tattoos.
ReplyDelete...I just DON'T.
ReplyDeletePHLEGMFATALE: You WILL succumb to new shoes.
ReplyDelete*points toe of Fluevogs suggestively*
NATIONS: Oh yeah, like you said you don't have toilet planters in your yard?
Like THAT?
I didn't even know Nina Simone had an overbite.
ReplyDelete