FIRST NATIONS:
Ms. Nations took a 660-mile road trip.
So if you pulled up alongside a Buick on the highway last week, this is what you would have seen…
KAZ:
Kaz posed the question, “How do you like your NUDES: Cubist? Classical? Or Classy?”
Kaz on a bearskin rug
WORLD CHAMP STEPHEN NEAL:
The Champ lists his top 10 reasons for growing a beard.
I would like to take this opportunity to mention that Mistress MJ is the The Champ's Official Beard and Body Hair Groomer; a job she takes seriously.
LEAH:
Leah wants Alan Rickman to do dirty things to her with his jowls.
“I’m going to top you from the bottom, bitch”
GARFER:
Garfy gripes about his inability to share a bathroom.
BETTY:
Betty continues to lure us with photos of hawt men…
Jimmy Tarbuck
Bill Werbeniuk
Vicus
DONN:
After too much time away from us, Coppens is back!
Ladies (and CyberPete): Oh sure, he dresses goofy but you know you’d do him...
Donn rockin’ a bow tie
HARDHOUSE:
Hardhouse (who loves Canadians, by the way) dedicated a song to all the Daves he knows…
NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK
There IS no New Cunt of the Week.
New Cunts are you bitches who’ve been reading Infomaniac for 14 months or less and are frequent commenters.
Off the top of my head, that would be Heff, Maxi Cane, T-Bird, Random Chick, Anonymous Boxer, Miss Scarlet and Famulus.
Have I missed anyone?
Or did you miss out on being a New Cunt back when I was posting the Blogging Roundup on a regular basis? Then now’s your chance!
Simply send me a wee blurb about yourself; where you’re from, your interests, etc. and you too can be initiated as a new Infomaniac bitch.
Hellloooooo Firsties.
ReplyDeleteWas FN in a rush? Couldn't find a rest stop or a gas station nearby? Were there no toilets in Oregon?
ReplyDeleteAs for Kaz, bring on the classy and classical nudes! Cubist nudes suck--and not in a good way!
You gave LEAH a nod in blogging roundup? Are you insane? She'll use it to snare Old K... just watch.
ReplyDelete**stands with arms crossed, glaring at no one in particular**
hee hee Eroswings. Lost it by that much!
ReplyDeleteAB, I don't mind a lady on the top; a gentleman always lets a lady come first.
ReplyDeleteBOXER & EROS: Well excuse me for interrupting!
ReplyDeleteOh my, Donnnnnn certainly looks as smart as can be while wearing a bow tie.
ReplyDeleteBless.
I have loved yer blog for a long time now and am cumming out from lurking to be a new cunt. I am 6 foot 4 inches tall, pale white skin, love it up the shitter and have a big willy. I will send you pictures of any body part you want me to except my face as I am hideous ugly.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: It looks like one of those oversize bow ties that clowns wear.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll bet his lapel flower squirts water.
ALAN: Is there anyone here who you fancy?
your new boy "alan dale" sounds alot like someone who used to hang around here...
ReplyDeleteheh heh...
*sniff around to see who has been peeing on the trees as of late*
All the men in the UK grow up to look like Jimmy Tarbuck.. sob...
ReplyDeleteSx
Alan Rickman??
ReplyDeleteTell Leah I will make a contribution to her therapy costs.
Was Donn in the Monkees?
"All the men in the UK grow up to look like Jimmy Tarbuck.. sob...
ReplyDeleteSx"
Well I'm still as sprightly as can be, despite the fact that I'm getting on to be 103 years old now. Still got all my own tooth, and a full head of hair. When it fell out I had them make it into a wig for me.
I am not a cunt.
ReplyDeleteSo there.
Worth a visit just for the mobile moon shot.
ReplyDeleteGinro - Are you Bruce Forsyth on the sly?
ReplyDeleteSx
mj...don't worry about cunt of the week...i was told yesterday i am cunt of the year...lmao...good to be loved :)...my job is just that rewarding!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping to get another gander at Stephen Neal's new Marx beard--especially 'cause I think I left my favorite lipstick in there somewhere last night--
ReplyDeleteBruce Forsyth? That young whippersnapper scallywag? I wish!
ReplyDeleteBetty really knows how to pick 'em eh?
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA!
I'm glad to see that you've outted another lurker..bravo!
...oh and I'm not totally convinced that those are Nation's buns hangin' out the window.
ReplyDeleteVOICES: ‘Tisn’t who you think it is.
ReplyDeleteI see you’ve sprung back to life in fine fettle.
SCARLET: All the men in the UK grow up to look like Jimmy Tarbuck.. sob...
Surely not the British Men of Infomaniac?
KAZ: Was Donn in the Monkees, you ask?
He couldn’t have been the “Quiet One” so he must have been the “Cute One”.
GINRO: When your hair fell out, did you have them make a merkin for you as well?
MAXI: I am not a cunt.
ReplyDeleteY’ar so. And so’s yer Ma.
TICKERS: You can always rely on Ms. Nations for quality content.
SCARLET: Is Brucie still alive?
DAISY: I’ve been told I’m a bitch so together we could form the Bitchy Cunts Society.
LEAH: I was running barefoot through The Champ’s beard.
ReplyDeleteI would have noticed it.
Oh wait. I think you forgot something while you were visiting him.
*flings Leah’s diaphragm back at her*
GINRO: Is Brucie still alive?
Yes, there is an echo in the room.
DONN: Did I actually say anything about buns?
Whose ever buns they are, better watch out for bees. I once had a bee ricochet in through the car window (remember those little triangluar vent windows cars used to have? one of those) and slam into my thigh while I was driving.
ReplyDeleteI was wearing shorts - thought I had been shot, for pete's sake - it hurt that much! Had a bruise the size of a baseball with a sting in the middle.
Get something like that on your behind, FN, and you won't be sittin' down for a week!
I hope not. Clowns scare me
ReplyDeleteeroswings: when I travel, i flat out travel. no fucking around. hammer down, stereo up, bra off (in case i have to flash any truckers trying to pass me. this works like you wouldn't believe. they get all distracted and drop behind while you maintain lead position.)
ReplyDeletecoppens: see above. occasionally a person in a convertible takes one upside the chops but this is usually accidental and a result of high-speed wind turbulence. mainly I just marinate my brain in distorted lead guitar and suck down starbucks doubleshots out the can; occasionally pulling over to the side of the highway to change clips.
ponita: you aren't kidding. i got nailed in the face with a honeybee last year. it felt like a rock!
mj: doesn't it suck that more people want to talk to me on your blog than you? its because a. I'm American and thus cooler than you, and 2.
....no, thats probably why.
*looks around for a beer, settles for an open one on counter, strains cigarette buts from it and drinks it down*
ReplyDeletegood morning!
CYBERPOOF: Maybe the clowns are scared of you.
ReplyDeleteNATIONS: Yeah, well suck on THIS!
VOICES: Are you in your happy place now?
PONITA: Ooops, you posted at the same time as me and I missed you.
ReplyDeleteYou were talking to Nations anyway, though, weren't you?
Harumph.
Its so much nicer now Miss First Nations has taken over this blog.
ReplyDeleteCan we load Miss MJ into the ducking stool and give her a bath ???
BEAST: Double Harumph!
ReplyDeleteThat's it. I'm outta here. Nations can take over for the rest of the day for all I care.
Maybe I won't bother coming back at all.
*flounces off in a huff*
[offers Mistress MJ box of Poulaines to return]
ReplyDeleteXL: Whatever would I want with a box of men's pointy shoes?
ReplyDelete*adds a bounce to her flounce and exits*
Come back MJ, don't you dare go. If you don't return I shall continue to send you those jibjab videos until you go mad.
ReplyDeleteAnd re Brucie, apparently he is - "My Brucie is still hot stuff: Wilnelia Forsyth says he's as sizzling in the ballroom as he is in the bedroom"
GINRO: Is old Brucie trying to cop a feel in that pic?
ReplyDeleteThe dirty bastard.
Oh wait. I'm not really here. You tricked me into coming back.
No, I'M GONE.
Nations can run this blog, like you all WANT.
GINRO: I have no idea what you're talking about. If you're going to go on and on about shit like that then may I suggest including a link so that people can go see what the blazes you mean and we can ALL be enlightened?
ReplyDelete....oh.
well....
well it was a boring link.
hmph.
SO HOW DO YOU LIKE IT SO FAR, PEOPLE?
ReplyDeleteNATIONS IS TAKING OVER MY BLOG AND IT ISN'T PRETTY, IS IT?
MJ that's his wife. Of course he's trying to cop a feel. And stop shouting, I'm not deaf.
ReplyDeleteFirst Nations, you have no idea what I'm talking about because I'm speaking English.
And this is the last comment I make until MJ takes back her rightful place. So there.
MJ I TOLD YOU TO GO SIT DOWN AND QUIT BOTHERING PEOPLE. do you want to go to the office? do you? Would you like me to have to phone your parents and have them come get you? How would that make you feel, hm? I bet they'd be very, very dissappointed in you, young lady. I know I am. I think you need to go stand in the corner now and face away-no, now I said FACE AWAY FROM THE CLASS, MJ- and just think about what it means to be a good citizen I SAID FACE AWAY FROM THE
ReplyDeletePUT THOSE UNDERPANTS BACK ON! PUT THEM
DON'T YOU RUN FROM ME! YOUNG LADY, YOU GET RIGHT BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! GET BACK HERE! NO, DON'T YOU RUN INTO THE-THATS THE BOYS RESTROOM! I'M GOING TO STAND OUT HERE AND COUNT TO TEN AND IF YOU'RE NOT OUT BY TEN IM COMING RIGHT IN THERE AND HAUL YOU OUT BY THE
DAMMIT DON'T YOU THROW SOAP AT ME!
Stand back and cover your ears, Ginro.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to get nasty.
NATIONS, YOU BITCH! YOU KNOW MY PARENTS ARE DEAD AND THAT I AM AN ORPHAN!
LOW BLOW. CRUEL.
*throws underpants at Nations*
*A pair of rather delicate feminine knickers suddenly lands on his head. Ginro, his vision temporarily obscured by them, takes them off, looks at them with a rather puzzled expression on his face for a few seconds, then folds them up and puts them in his souvenir draw*
ReplyDeleteBill Werbeniuk looks like the one that's Ball out of Cannon & Ball. If someone's already remarked on the likeness - sorry: I couldn't arsed to read all the comments.
ReplyDelete* dodges low flying underpants *
I would like to ask a pertinent question at this point in time if I may..
ReplyDeletewill we be doing Stonehenge tomorrow?
*hint
the scene in Spinal Tap in which an awkward moment is broken by stupid question
NO RE-ENACTMENTS OF STONEHENGE WITH DANCING DWARFS.
ReplyDelete*rifles through dirty laundry and flings panties at Donn and IVD*
*notices Ginro poised like an eager bridesmaid hoping to catch the bouquet*
For heavens sake whats all this screaming and shouting
ReplyDeleteSome of us have MANFLU you know
"box of men's pointy shoes"
ReplyDeleteOh. Someone made a mistake. The box was supposed to have those Canadian cheesy fries thingies!
[tries to pry pointy shoes from MJ]
"New Cunt" ? At least I'm "In There" somewhere...
ReplyDeleteXL, I do believe you meant "Poutine", which Mistress MJ loves (as do I). That may have been a fatal mistake with those pointy shoes.... especially since they are mens - if they had been really cool womens shoes, well you might stand a chance.
ReplyDeleteSorry. I think you're a goner....
*gets confused by chattering bloggers and attempts to eat poulaines and put poutine on feet*
ReplyDelete*slips and falls flat on face*
*dusts self off and bids hasty adieu*
...but it goes up to eleven...
ReplyDeleteSx
That's like that whole spider nonsense isn't it. "they are more scared than you"
ReplyDeletePlease!
im not sure if explaining what my happy place entails is acceptable for the children ears here... and why is nations running around the may pole with your underwear on her head?
ReplyDelete*helps nations to have a seat on the see-saw*
jesus fuck me christ i go to work for a goddamn day and look at the shit that happens while i am gone...ffs!
ReplyDeleteAhem.....I'm pretty sure I'm a cunt.....
ReplyDeletePutin?
ReplyDeleteChitterchatter and used undies ... is that bloke still at the bar? Gimme an extra strong and you don't mind a cigar, do you ... better ... where's the landlady now? Or is that Pocahontas' joint?
And let that be a lesson to you!
ReplyDeletehello chillun.
ReplyDeleteI got so bored I had to drug myself into oblivion just to feel like I had some brain activity happening. then I fell asleep. I just woke up from a nice long nap. why do i have underwear on my head? *flings underwear at Voices* ew they're all cheesy.
DONT YOU BE CALLING ME POCOHANTAS, MAGO. thats an ethnic slur, that is. HELP HELP IM BEING OPPRESSED! *runs screaming off to the ACLU*
Oppressed?
ReplyDeleteMJ - WHom you are adressing?
FN
Let's clear this. I before referred to you as "Pocahontas" and you wanted an apology what I did not give.
First let me tell you that I am no regular reader of your blog, that may change.
Second is that I know "P" only from a story of a German writer named Arno Schmidt. I know that there is Disney-figure called "P" and that it all is based on a poem, but I sorrily have to admit that I have no idea about the cultural function, the ideas connected to "P", and so the final and full meaning of calling you "P". I want to apologize for hurting you, it is surely not intended.
Whatever ACLU may be, I don't give a damn. From your writing as I remember it so far you are woman enough to stand and not hide behind whatever.
Sorry, run out of booze now.
"DONT YOU BE CALLING ME POCOHANTAS, MAGO. thats an ethnic slur, that is. HELP HELP IM BEING OPPRESSED! *runs screaming off to the ACLU*"
ReplyDeleteLOL!
MJ, moi? *Looks innocently around, a look Ginro has managed to master (or mistress or whatever)*
Cripes, I think everyone has gone nutters in this place.
ReplyDeleteDid I inadvertently walk into the local looney bin???
*backs out and peers up at sign - notes "Bellview" and runs away*
6 hours I was gone.
ReplyDeleteFor 6 hours I turn my back on you lot and LOOK WHAT HAPPENS!
Mago, I was addressing all of you bitches.
BITCHES, I'm going to have to hire a sitter the next time I go out.
In order to restore the peace, I'll post a photo soon of a nice British bottom.