Nota bene: SATANIC CRAMPS FROM HELL prevented Mistress MJ from creating a more detailed Blogging Roundup this week. Well that and the fact that certain bitches wouldn’t shut up while I was trying to write it yesterday.
Now on with the show.
WW & DONN:
First up, we turn our attention to the Great White North where Canuckleheads WW and Donn get their first taste of VEGEMITE…
Needless to say, alcohol was involved…
CLICK HERE for the sordid story (with pics!) of Vegemite experimentation and debauchery….
FIRST NATIONS:
Ms. Nations asks us, “What is your unusual talent?”
Not surprisingly, we learn that Beast can fart the national anthem.
BEAST:
And speaking of Beast…
It's that time of year again for Beast’s Book Club: the Christmas Cracker edition.
So if you like girl-on-girl action combined with farting and tales of testicles, lube and international intrigue, sign up today for Beast’s Book Club.
*not associated with Oprah’s Book Club nor Richard and Judy’s Book Club*
CYBERPETE:
CyberPoof is hosting a Christmas contest with a mystery prize if you guess correctly.
OLD KNUDSEN:
I have no idea what Old Knudsen was railing on about this week.
I just wanted an excuse to post this picture of him…
ANONYMOUS BOXER:
Boxer conducts an interview with her Chihuahua, Paco in which Paco opines on the $14 billion bailout plan for U.S. automakers and the pay raise for federal judges…
Word has it that Barbara Walters has seen this video and asked Paco to “sit!” for an interview but he told her that her people will have to get in touch with his people.
First!
ReplyDeleteFirst for news
First nations
First against the wall when the revolution comes
First come
First served
First among equals
First!
Second!
ReplyDeleteSecond coming
Second hand on the clock
Seconds to live
Sloppy seconds
Second fiddle
Second time around
Second!
Th...
ReplyDeleteWhat?
Pfff ... wait a SECOND ...
ReplyDeleteHope this helps.
ReplyDeleteAloha From Hell
The Cramps
... burp ...
ReplyDeleteOld Knudsen needs ironing !
ReplyDeletePaco is currently refusing to come out of his trailer. Pfffft. He's going back to toilet water and canned dog food.
ReplyDeleteI am sure Miss Walters will ask the most important question.
ReplyDeleteIf you were a tree which one would it be, Paco?
*echoing up from below*
ReplyDeleteHas anybody got a light?
Chicks with dicks! I can't believe you are so bigoted.
ReplyDeleteOld Knudsen Points The Way!
ReplyDeleteI like Paco. And Paco's friends!
ReplyDeleteWe had a chihuahua just like him growing up. I loves a fat little chihuahua. What did he demand as part of his catering for the interview?
That blonde on Beast's book.
ReplyDeleteIs her hair acting as a sort of uplift bra?
I have your uterus.
ReplyDeleteSx
are you better miss mj? *doesn't want to get bit again*
ReplyDeleteI like my Chihuahua not too fat but with gravy and Knoedel.
ReplyDeleteyour whole problem, mj, is lack of a stinky duvet and a distinct chickpea curry deficit. beast never complains about cramps, no matter how bad they get.
ReplyDeleteKAPI: We’re all VERY proud of you.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Second?
You’re fourth actually.
You’ll have to get up earlier to beat the likes of Kapitano.
XL: I do like a bit of twangy guitar to get me going in the morning.
As long as I don’t have to fight off swamp monsters.
MAGO: ... burp ...
That was well brought up.
BEAST: Old Knudsen needs ironing !
He’ll drip-dry just fine.
BOXER: Miss T-Bird has a question for you.
And CyberPoof has a question for Paco.
CYBERPOOF: If you were a tree which one would it be, Paco?
ReplyDeleteI’ve asked Boxer to consult with Paco over this.
GINRO: *echoing up from below*
Has anybody got a light?
*ignores and turns up volume on radio*
KNUDSEN: Chicks with dicks! I can't believe you are so bigoted.
Wasn’t your fourth wife a gurleyboy?
TONY: Old Knudsen Points The Way!
Old Knudsen usually appears to be pointing south.
T-BIRD: I like Paco. And Paco's friends!
We had a chihuahua just like him growing up. I loves a fat little chihuahua. What did he demand as part of his catering for the interview?
Paco mentioned something about bitches.
KAZ: That blonde on Beast's book.
ReplyDeleteIs her hair acting as a sort of uplift bra?
Sometimes a good foundation garment is hard to find, Kaz.
SCARLET: I have your uterus.
You can KEEP it!
It’s been nothing but trouble since the get-go.
It has been set upon by Beelzebub and his troupe of trident-bearing minions!
DAISY: are you better miss mj? *doesn't want to get bit again*
I suggest you get your shots.
MAGO: *scratches Mago off my dinner invitation list*
NATIONS: your whole problem, mj, is lack of a stinky duvet and a distinct chickpea curry deficit. beast never complains about cramps, no matter how bad they get.
Beast had his uterus boarded up years ago.
The only cramps he gets now are those caused by excessive wanking.
No wonder you don’t hear him complain.
It's a very important question. Barbara Walters asked it to Kathrine Hepburn so it must be a good question.
ReplyDeleteI like trees that are short, like me. I ruined several perfectly good heather bushes outside of my House. Lady not happy. I don't care.
ReplyDeleteTBird - You know of my people? You good person.
"*ignores and turns up volume on radio*"
ReplyDeleteThat's what I like about this place *the disembodied voice echoed up from below* it gets more like home every day.
Is that Vegemite on WW and Don's faces, or... Something else?
ReplyDelete* nips off to 'Petra's for the Christmas Compo *
CYBERPOOF: See comment from Paco.
ReplyDeletePACO: Thank you for your valuable time.
May I have your autograph?
GINRO: *hands Ginro a frilly pinny*
My floors need scrubbing.
IVD: Are you suggesting it could be MARMITE?
As you know Miss FN I am seldom without pain......I just bravely hobble along. One doesnt like to make a fuss
ReplyDeleteYou shall be gifted with a Christmas Card
ReplyDeleteBEAST: You certainly made a big enough fuss about your alleged MANFLU!
ReplyDeletePACO: Oh my! I've still got your "Happy Pacoween" card up on my bulletin board along with several nekkid photos of Old Knudsen and one of Manuel's arse.
Unless you plan on getting me out of your oubliette, which doesn't seem to be any time soon *'soon soon soon soo soo soo' his voice echoed* you've got a long wait *'wait wai wai wai'*
ReplyDeleteGINRO: *squeezes Ginro into French Maid's outfit*
ReplyDeleteThe oubliette hasn't seen a good dusting in ages.
How did you do that??? *echo echo echo*
ReplyDeleteAre you Mrs Elastic from the Fantastic Four or something? *thing thing thing*
GINRO: Haven’t you finished ironing my underthings?
ReplyDeleteIs that what they are? They seem rather ... um ... fragile and delicate, so I was taking my time with them.
ReplyDeleteGINRO: What was that?
ReplyDeleteI can't hear you when you're breathing deeply into the lace.
Ahhh, zat parfum! C'est magnifique mademoiselle! Me marier!
ReplyDeleteAnd you bras are great for doing my Biggles impersonation.
My penis is larger than Knudsen's.
ReplyDeleteGINRO: *measures head*
ReplyDeleteYou’ll need MS. NATIONS’ bra if you’re looking for a proper fit.
KNUDSEN-IMPOSTER: You’re hung like a soft-bristled toothbrush.
Knudsen himself told me so.
Are you Old Knudsen’s evil twin?
What would you do if faced with a band of berserk lemurs?
I’m not sure of anything anymore or how to tell the pair of you apart (aside from penis size).
Only Helen Mirren (or possibly George Clooney during his ghey phase) can tell the difference and where are they now?
The monkey cowboy's current ride is like a Clydesdale compared to the no-doubt more nimble Paco!
ReplyDeletePaco's a Celebrity !!
ReplyDeleteNow that response can be taken several ways, but being a gentleman my lips are sealed.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to go *echo echo*
ReplyDeleteXL - I wish I was graceful, but alas my legs are short.
ReplyDeleteHeff - I ruv u 2.
Well, now I have finally managed to climb out of the cellar by constructing a ladder from some bones, a matchstick, a cardboard roll, and a two inch piece of sticky tape (watching McGuiver finally paid off) I'm out of here for this evening. It's 'Sexy at Seventy' night at the local old folks home so look out ladies here I come!
ReplyDeleteGINRO: Make sure you take condoms!
ReplyDeletethat old knudsen picture is a fake.........the fucker is as bald as a coot......
ReplyDeleteMANUEL: Right. It's like a fake Manuel would have a hairless arse.
ReplyDeleteOMG beast...as if...you don't...go on and on about a freakin flu?...mj is right on this one...god forbid you are ever afflicted with cramps...the world would have to stop in mid turn!
ReplyDeletemj...i had an offer for a shot...but for some reason i don't think it is the right kind...
ReplyDeleteDAISY: I'd like to strap my uterus onto Beast for a day to see how he'd cope.
ReplyDeleteHave a shot of Irish whiskey with me.
MJ any day, my friend...just know that whiskey makes me wanna fight...but i don't fight women so you are safe :)
ReplyDeleteoh go ahead and give her a punch.
ReplyDelete..a planters punch, that is!
OH HA! IS SO MY FACE LAUGH!!!
*falls over into echoing blackness*
wow cool ool ool ool ool ool
how did i get in this oubliette? and why did my tits land three minutes before the rest of me did?
ReplyDeleteI BLAME FRANCE ANCE ANCE ANCE ANCE
DAISY: Whiskey makes me wanna love.
ReplyDeleteCome here for a hug.
NATIONS: You're lucky I'm tipsy on whiskey and feel like a lover not a fighter or I'd slap you with MY tits.