Monday, October 06, 2008

Create Farts

I’m planning a sickie today so I have plenty of time to fart around afterall.

I’m certain the rest of you would love to be farting around too so let’s make a game of it, shall we?

Create farts.

Go on!


  1. A sick day! How lovely. You can set up your own "Land of Counterpane" with your barbie dolls and little plastic soldiers, and eat popsicles to your heart's content!

    I hope your feeling lots better and can enjoy it a little--

  2. Did you get the idea for this rather funny post after wafting your own duvet about?

    Lovely idea from Leah, but I see you as more of a "Land of Pornography" kinda gal, with your rampant rabbits and little plastic dildoes.

    Get better soon, there's ironing to be done.

  3. Well, I assumed the barbies and soldiers would have some triple-x hook-ups! Isn't that how it always is when the barbies and soldiers get together?

    And I spelled "you're" as "your." You simply can't imagine the depths of my shame.

  4. LEAH: Kinky Bitch Barbie is ready to play!

    BOLLIX: Our friend Beast is the one with the stinky duvet, thank you very much.

    Regarding “Land of Pornography,” see the link I gave Leah. Both for the Barbie doll I’ll be playing with AND for the image of you below that on all fours.

    I think you’ll find it’ll be YOU who’s doing the ironing.

    LEAH: Take notice of others who comment on my blog (Beast, again!) and you’ll find that I am the only one here with perfect spelling.

  5. Can you just imagine MJ staggering about in some ratty old nylon housecoat and mules , unshaved legs , birdnest hair , bottle of gin and a kraft tv dinner , getting ready for an afternoon of breaking wind in front of the soaps.....

  6. BEAST: I do NOT drink gin!

    And because of that comment, I'm going back to bed.

    *checks first to see if Coronation Street is recording*

  7. I want to play "pin the tail on MJ the donkey"!

    Oh, and to say "skiving cunt"

  8. Oh, and shame about Liam from the factory dying, eh?

  9. i don't need a site to create a fart...i have three dogs :)

  10. Where's the Oirish folk singer gone?
    Not that I miss him - I'm just easily confused.

  11. I just created the best fart ever.


    I got a little follow through....

  12. Dead yet?

    Or is it just the smell of your anal murmerings wafting up through the folds and putrescence of your decaying frontbum?

  13. i can remember a children's book I used to have that was full of ideas of things to do for kiddies who were bedridden with scarlet fever or whatever other childhood diseases. I seem to remember that there were instructions to make a mouse from a handkerchief - "when you flick its tail it jumps realistically" apparently.

    Hmm, maybe not your sort of thing though ...

  14. PUPPY: Your loose sphincter causes the most hideous noise when you fart.

    But your farts are useful to strip wallpaper, at least.

    Liam’s dead? I’m waiting for Gail to be killed off.

    DAISY: You have three dogs?

    I only have pics of one!

    *goes back to drawing board*

    KAZ: The Oirish folksinger buggered off.

    MAXI: You can print out this page from my blog to wipe clean.

    SMUNTY: Remember that What’s Your Poo Telling You book that I sent to you?

    I’m still waiting for a book report.

    BETTY: Or I could just have a wank.

  15. I certainly hope that you don't have another chocolate cake sitting on the counter!

  16. I don't think you need a website to create a fart. The tried and true methods of beans and leafy green vegetables still loudly echo resounding success!

    *Sprays deodorizing disinfectant all over*

    *Also lights several candles--deodorizing and holy ones to exorcise the stench and because the power of prayer might be needed to purify the area*

  17. SMUNTY: HOW long have we been waiting now?

    HEFF: Whoa!

    That one crossed the Mason-Dixon line and across the Canadian border!

    DONN: I didn’t leave a cake on the counter.

    This time I left a PUDDING!

    EROS: Or you could hang a thurible around your neck.

  18. i am not going to click on pudding as I just know its going to be a pudding farts site

  19. La La La
    ****not listening to MJ****

  20. I like unmolested , virgin pudding untouched by flapping human butt cheeks , free from artificial addatives and wind blown faecal matter.
    ***clutches unmolested sticky Toffee Pudding to chest and gazes heavenward***

  21. Ha! this is for amateurs. I own the Pythonizer. I can type 'MJ' and it sounds like this:

    HEUUUUUURGHsplat, gasp
    ffffFFRRRRAP! ptptpt

    I know you all envy me. don't lie.

  22. MAGO: Who is it you’re buggering?

    BEAST: *snatches Beast’s sticky toffee pudding and proceeds to violate it*

    NATIONS: I blow my nose at you, so-called Ms. Nations!

    You and all of your silly sedums!

    May you suffer the return of the miniature farmer!

  23. I started work again today and got my parents staying.

    I miss farting around.

  24. There is no way that I am going to click on that.

    No 'F' in way.

  25. CYBERPOOF: For you, I suggest a diet high in fibre that will cause your parents to evacuate.

    DONN: It’s almost supper time in WinterPeg, isn’t it and we wouldn’t want to spoil our appetite, would we?

    Come back for dessert.

  26. i need no cyber site thingy to create farts.......i have chilli beans

  27. farts aside, are you feeling better, sugar? xoxoxo

  28. MANUEL: Chili bean/Guinness farts.

    Thankfully an ocean separates us.

    SAVANNAH: I still feel like crap but I'm hauling my arse into work on Tuesday.

    Ta for asking.