Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mum’s the Word

Yeah yeah I know you Brits all celebrated Mother’s Day back in March.

But in Canada, U.S., and Australia (anybody else?) today is Mother’s Day.

If my mum were alive, she would be absolutely horrified by my blog.

How about the rest of you?

Does your mum read your blog? If so, what does she think of it?

And if she doesn't know about it, why haven't you told her?

Or if your mum has passed on, how do you think she’d react to your blog if she could read it?

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mums out there!

And remember to call or visit your mums and bring her something nice, you cheap bastards.


  1. Not to worry.
    I called Newton and he said that he would show up (on time for a change) at her bridge & brunch club tomorrow and sing Danke Schoen for her.

    I also had Charles 'top up' her dividend cheque for the first quarter, had her Villa redecorated, the one in Corfu anyway, plus I had the Caribbean Division tidy up the lingering legal matters concerning that unfortunate 'incident' stemming from the catfight in the Ladies Room at the Governor's Ball last year...
    worth every penny and hopefully she learned her lesson about 'experimenting' with cocktails and those pretty pink pills that she found in the riding stable.

    Now that Hubby #4 seems to have mysteriously disapeared
    (I know nothing..honest)
    hopefully she'll be able to stay away from that damn Casino for a while.

    What are ya gonna do?

  2. The Mother certainly does not read my blog. For a start, she just wouldn't understand it. Or maybe she would, which would make it all the more horrifying!

    One final point: Who's to say all the dead mums aren't reading your blogs?
    I'm deleting mine (blog, not mum) when she does kark it.

  3. Well, my mum's been dead for twenty eight years, but I'd hazard a guess that she wouldn't understand a lot of what I write about and wouldn't like the swearing.

    I really hope my mother in law doesn't read it because I slag her off at regular intervals.

  4. Not only content to remind me that dear old mum is no longer with us, you then imply that she was illiterate. "Or if your mum has passed on, how do you think she’d react to your blog if she could read it?". I only hope that your poor mother never had the misfortune to receive such insensitive greetings from you.
    Fine start to the day that was. When is "Canuck Tarts" day? I have a bag of vomit saved up.

  5. Not one single person I know (in real life) knows about my blog.
    But if mum were alive I might just tell her about it.
    But I wouldn't tell her about Infomaniac.

  6. DONN: I recall, Central Park in fall.
    How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess.
    That's not all.

    Oh excuse me. I was distracted by Mr. Las Vegas.

    You know, it would be a heck of a lot cheaper to hire a Wayne Newton impersonator.

    IVD: You say your Mother wouldn’t understand your blog?

    WE don’t understand your blog!

    BETTY: Your mum wouldn’t like the swearing?

    I fucking well hope she’s not reading this then.

    VICUS: Good to see you.

    I’m glad you came.

    Too bad your father did.

    KAZ: No one knows about your blog?

    Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me your real name’s not Kaz.

    And that you’re not really a Mancunian.

    And that Thierry Henry means nothing to you.

    I don’t know what to believe anymore.

  7. It's mothers day in Denmark too and to answer all your questions at once

    No fucking way!

  8. My mum knows about my blog but she'd rather read the Mirror and the Mail. She knows a bit about Infomaniac, too (not too much). But she'd rather read the Mirror and the Mail.

  9. Happy Mothers day you old slapper.

    Yes my mother is still alive and kicking. She would be horrified with my blog but who gives a fuck.

    *goes back to the pool*

  10. er, I started my blog due to "issues" with my late Mother, so I think she would have kicked my ass if she knew.

    Then I got tired of whining and changed it.I still don't think she'd like it.

    **goes back to bed with coffee**

  11. CYBERPOOF: Denmark’s not a big country.

    I’ll find your moder and tell her.

    GEOFF: Are you sure you weren’t adopted?

    TATAS: *holds Tatas’ head underwater*

    BOXER: I never saw your blog in the mother issue days but I can tell you right now I prefer seeing your Chihuahuas wearing tiny sombreros.

  12. Why thank you, that's ever so gracious of you.

    I didn't have to call my mother today. At 2 she couldn't stand the wait anymore or lost faith so she called me.

    She kept whinging about how this horrible male dog almost raped their nice little male gravhund (now there is a Danish word for you to play with - you know so many)

  13. Jeez can you imagine that dreadful old bat Ma Beasty reading my blog

    Having been a single mother of two dogs for the last few days can I expect a pressie then :-)

  14. *hugs* just because, sugar...xox

  15. CYBERPOOF: I had to look up “gravhund” as I assumed falsely it’s a greyhound when in fact it’s a dachshund.

    They’re low to the ground so they’re an easy target for any horny dog.

    BEAST: I might throw you a bone.

    SUGAR: Thanks for putting a little sugar in my bowl.

    Very sweet of you.

  16. Sadly, my mummy is gone. But if she could read my/our blog, she'd laugh. We shared a sense of humour, thankfully.

    Tazzy's mummy often reads our blog. She thinks it's sick, but laughs nonetheless.


  17. Happy Mothers Day to all you hardworking moms!

  18. hey Piggy, what did Tazzys mother thing of the poo eating video?

  19. Mum is in no position to read my blog and dad doesn't really understand what's going on with good result all round.....

  20. No one in my family knows about my blog.

    If mother knew she'd be terrified that anyone might read it and find out I'm gay.

    If father knew he'd be terrified anyone might discover he's got a gay son, and think he wasn't middle class enough to have a straight one.

    And if his mother came back from the dead and found a computer...she wouldn't read blogs because technology comes from satan. But if she did, she have a heart attack and die again immediately.

    So here's hoping grandmother Kapitano was right after all and there is an afterlife - because she's spending her eternity mortified that her favourite grandson sucks men's willies.

    I sucked a willy tonight, but didn't think of grandma once.

  21. My granny sucked cock.

    I could tell by the tell-tale stretch marks at the side of her mouth.

    A bit like MJ's, just not as sever.

  22. Severe, not sever!

    *dull thud as head hits desk*

  23. PIGGY: You mum would need a sense of humour to raise the likes of you.

    Tazzy’s mummy is a saint for putting up with the pair of you.

    EROS: You tell ‘em.

    CYBERPOOF: MUST you remind us?

    MANUEL: No treating the parents to Claridges, then?

    KAPI: Later this week Kapi’s Fave Post will appear on Infomaniac.

    I’ve got your mum and dad on speed dial as I type this.

    And I’ll be over later to see if you reported on the evening’s cocksucking.

    PIGGY: Did your gran take out her dentures to suck your granddad’s willy?

    Or was she servicing the milk man?

  24. My ma reads yer blog, she says its shite.

    She never misses a post.

  25. KNUDSEN: Yer Ma tells me she prints out my postings daily and uses them to wipe her arse.

  26. ... Which she then smears all over Knudsy's face, by the look of things.

  27. Hey MJ...that was a cool Mother's Day post, I think. I've been MIA because I was violently ill over the weekend, seriously. It sucked. But I got to use it to get some extra sympathy from my Hubby and kids. LOL!

    I used that same retro photo for a post I did on my blog about why you should call your Mother:

    You know what they say about great, really what do they say? I need to know!

  28. RANDOM: Thanks. And I hope you're feeling better.

    We must be drawing on the same pool of retro photos for our postings.

  29. My Strega Mama got some extra spoiling and loads of hugs and presents.

    She knows I blog and that Dora has one too (Dora's been unofficially adopted), but thus far has shown no interest in reading it. She spends all her time looking at real estate and home decoration outlets.

    I don't think she'd be too surprised that I frequent the Infomaniac.

    Dad, on the other hand, would love it.

  30. T-BIRD: So what you're saying is your dad's a bit of a perv.

    The apple didn't fall very far from the tree, did it?

  31. He's a massive lover of 'foreign film'. He also loves bad sci fi and stoopid books. You can always rely on him for a great conversation when he's not being all stoic and taciturn on his favourite couch. I also (unfortunately) look very much like him).

    Yep - that's my Dad!

  32. T-BIRD: I bet he has his own copy of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

  33. I called my Mom but she wasn't waiting around for a call so I left a message on the answering machine. I'm not sure if she knows about my blog but I doubt it, and I don't think she would read it if she did know about it.

  34. DINAH: You mean she had something better to do?

    The nerve!

  35. my mum is way too busy being lame to deserve to know about my blog. if you see her, don't tell her about it either. well, i guess if you do tell her, i'll just lie.