Thursday, May 29, 2008

Book Title of the Day

As a member of Beast’s Book Club for Transvestites, I should like to submit the following title for consideration as our next choice…


Villa of Queens by Alan Fair


Can anyone summarize the plot for me?
Posted by at
Labels: , ,

34 comments:

  1. nwtrunner1:13 AM, May 29, 2008

    There's this villa, see? And there are some queens there - because queens like villas, I guess. And then stuff happens.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Inexplicable DeVice1:22 AM, May 29, 2008

    Jeff pops out for some afternoon tiffin, but when he returns, Sebastian has a hissy fit because he wasn't there to help choose what he, Sebastian, was to wear that day - Hence the Tighty-Whities.
    Suddenly, the rest of the town's Gayers turn up dressed as actual Queens - Jeff had invited them over for a fancy dress pool party, unbeknownst to Sebastian...

    Oh, someone else finish this - I've lost the plot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Mistress1:26 AM, May 29, 2008

    Tell you what.

    I'm just going to sit here quietly sipping my evening cocktail while the rest of you fill in the plot that NWT and IVD seem to have lost all together.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Miss Smuggersham2:22 AM, May 29, 2008

    Well, NWT completely wrote what I was going to write. I'm pretty sure the plot is centred around the Dynasty level hystrionics of a certain gentleman pushing a certain gentleman down the stairs and then causing all sort of Misery - esque shenanigans.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Old Knudsen4:00 AM, May 29, 2008

    Villa pronounced Veea as they do is a Mexican boxer who lives in Queens which would be in New York I believe, his full name is 'Puncho Veea' he fights Adonis Creed and becomes the World big-boned weight champion of the world.

    ReplyDelete
  6. garfer4:42 AM, May 29, 2008

    Has it anything to do with Aston Villa and Queens Park Rangers?

    Oh, never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Divian5:01 AM, May 29, 2008

    A drunken vegan woman unknownly stumbles across a colony of meat eating orgy seeking lesbians and men who occasionally like to force fed women their weeters in exchange for fried pork rhinds. Planning her escape she is met with adversity, crucifixation and the ever so demeaning starvation of death where she is presented with vodka, a t bone steak and A1 Steak sauce.

    It is a decision of life or death.

    What will she choose???

    Ok, off my meds today and in clear need of alcohol.

    ReplyDelete
  8. eroswings8:15 AM, May 29, 2008

    Oh, is it fiction? Here I thought it was Piggy & Tazzy's latest holiday trip ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Romeo Morningwood9:09 AM, May 29, 2008

    There are no 'Veas' in Queens or the Bronx for that matter. The header is a misprint..the publisher meant Violins.

    Alan Fair, who also wrote, Suck It Trebek, Kiss My Ass Nixon, and Suffer Baby Suffer, would be thrilled to see that you are schlepping his crap out here in the 21st Century.

    All of his books were banned in Utah and Iran..which is weird because they don't even have homosexuals.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Mistress9:35 AM, May 29, 2008

    T-BIRD: Dynasty level histrionics, indeed.

    Yet I don’t see any wigs strewn about the staircase.

    KNUDSEN: Big-boned?

    So what you’re really saying is he’s fat?

    No wonder Puncho has self-esteem issues.

    GARFY: Up your ass
    up your ass
    we'll stick the blue flag up your ass

    AWA: If we want to hear your life story, we’ll ask.

    EROS: Piggy and Tazzy’s latest trip?

    Not unless it involves an amusement park.

    Though it does look like an emotional roller coaster, doesn’t it?

    DONN: Why dontcha give me Ape Tit for $200, Alex?

    ReplyDelete
  11. FirstNations12:20 PM, May 29, 2008

    'Villa' is a crytic reference to 'Via', meaning 'way' , or, the way, of 'Queens' (veiled reference to the Empress card of the Major Arcana). The two men at the foot of the staircase symbolize of the acolyte, or 'Son' at the foot of the 'way' towards a higher knowlege, symbolized by the unseen destination towards which the staircase leads...knowledge which his mentor, or 'Daddy bear' will be initiating his gay ass into as soon as he gets up off it and hoofs on up to the boudoir. Where there is an elderly lady wearing a pillbox hat.

    you are welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Mistress12:44 PM, May 29, 2008

    NATIONS: Pillbox hat?

    What is Jackie O doing in my Tarot cards?

    *reshuffles deck*

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous1:08 PM, May 29, 2008

    Two gay guys fight over a Villa in Tuscany. They both realize they love the color fuchia and decide to buy it together...one gay guy tries to kill the other because he can't decide what shade of salmon to paint the kitchen. It all becomes too much...there is a graphic sex scene with donkeys upon which the original owner of the Villa crashes. It's George Michael. They all embrace and live happily ever after. The End

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Mistress1:26 PM, May 29, 2008

    RANDOM: Did you eat a spicy meal before bedtime, by any chance?

    ReplyDelete
  15. CyberPete2:51 PM, May 29, 2008

    It's like in those cheap love magazines

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jenny2:59 PM, May 29, 2008

    is one dude wearing tight whites?

    ReplyDelete
  17. eroswings4:16 PM, May 29, 2008

    anon boxer, if he's a queen, it's more likely a pair Victoria's Secret white panties...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Miss Smuggersham5:18 PM, May 29, 2008

    He's an undercover queen trying to infiltrate an illegal boxer's ring. Hence the tighty whities.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Mr. T5:29 PM, May 29, 2008

    Have you heard of the finger mustache?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous5:54 PM, May 29, 2008

    The plot of this lovely novel is summarized in two words: Flonk bonk.

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Mistress5:56 PM, May 29, 2008

    Right. Who turned this into a discussion about men's undergarments?

    MR.T: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    What you do with your finger is your own business.

    MAGO: Is that German for tighty whities?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jenny6:39 PM, May 29, 2008

    Hey! It says "leave your comment" - it doesn't say "leave the right comment" and I got the answer I wanted. Thanks Eros!

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Mistress6:44 PM, May 29, 2008

    BOXER: Well at least you can LEAVE a comment on mine.

    ReplyDelete
  24. BEAST6:49 PM, May 29, 2008

    I like the sound of violence and dark desires.....its like and evening out with Mutley and Miss Mu Tai Dong.

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Mistress6:51 PM, May 29, 2008

    BEAST: Why aren't you scratching under your duvet by now?

    ReplyDelete
  26. savannah6:53 PM, May 29, 2008

    wow, i just watched a movie of somerset maugham's up at the villa there were queens in that one, too! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Mistress6:57 PM, May 29, 2008

    SAVANNAH: And Maugham had a villa of his own on the French Riviera.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous9:36 PM, May 29, 2008

    Eh? (my best Canadian impersonation)

    ReplyDelete
  29. The Mistress10:01 PM, May 29, 2008

    CHAMP: Huh? (my best American impersonation)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Dinah1:18 AM, May 30, 2008

    You should get Dora or T-Bird to tell you about "Pussy and the Birds."

    ReplyDelete
  31. The Mistress1:26 AM, May 30, 2008

    DINAH: Tell me, tell me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Miss Smuggersham5:04 AM, May 30, 2008

    This is Dora's baby. I'll let her post a linky to it. When she surfaces from, er... domestic bliss.

    All I have to say to you is:

    "Naughty pussy! Naughty pussy! Naughty pussy!"

    ReplyDelete
  33. Dinah11:08 PM, May 30, 2008

    "Pussy is on the bed."

    ReplyDelete
  34. The Mistress11:56 PM, May 30, 2008

    DINAH: Just found your link to Dora's "pussy" post.

    If you see my Saturday posting, you'll know how tired I am and that "pussy is asleep".

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)