Thursday, May 15, 2008

Boys And Their Toys

What kind of wacky contraption has this guy rigged up?

(click to enlarge)

Imagine the hours of labour he put into it…time that could have been spent cleaning his living room!


  1. WHAT THE FUCK? SERIOUSLY!!! i dont even want to click it into full screen to see... and what is all that crap by the wall on the floor???? oh man, you have the weirdest shit sometimes.... this is a topper...

    *rubs eyes and trys thinking of unicorns and shiny things, candies and chocolate*

  2. I can only speculate of course, but my first impression is that this despondent man, having completed his charisma bypass surgery, has decided to 'take it up a notch' and constructed a crude Trebuchet.

    My best guess is that he intends to derive some form of pleasure by pulling the black tether with a tremendous yoink thereby flinging his bits against the wall at a very high rate of speed.

    Obviously he is anticipating some cellular resistance and perhaps backspray during this brief trajectory and has taken the added precaution of wearing goggles.

    It would appear that he has a rip chord dangling from his ass which I suspect will open a parachute in the event that his genitals refuse to detach themselves from his person and he senses that his entire body is being projected towards the wall.

    I fully expect to see him on the Darwin Awards for voluntarily taking himself out of the shallow end of the gene pool.

    He is good to go in 3..

  3. Either that, Donn, or he accidently nailed his cock to a bit of left over wood while putting up that grotesque panelling.
    His wife's going to have a conniption when she sees it!
    Silly old git.

    Erm. I wish I hadn't read Voices comment, as now I've noticed that massive pile of crap, too.

  4. First, Dear God, when was that basement last cleaned? 1966? And second, I'm more interested in why he's wearing safety glasses when he clearly doesn't give a crap about his dick. Why take care of the eyes?????


    ahhhh ... cute Pandas

  5. He is obviously developing a bew attachement for the Nintendo Wii !

  6. If he'd worn the right glasses, he'd've had no trouble following the IKEA instructions on putting together his end table.

  7. Those goggles are what makes that photo!

    Is it wrong that I now have "Flight of the Valkyries" playing in my head to that pic?

    I'm following boxer over to cute overload to wash my soul.

  8. Hmmm I'm pretty sure he didn't get into that rig on his own- considering the cuffs on his ankles and the chain on his nipples lol. Did you notice that nice large window behind him with NO curtains. Geez his neighbours must have to bleach their brains frequently to try and get THAT outta their heads lol.

  9. Well I think its very odd, those ceiling fans look way too close and what does he have in there 40 watts?

  10. And they have no blades on them what the fuck?

  11. Don't be too critical - this guy made some effort at interior decoration.
    Just look at the lovely crocheted doilly on the coffee table.

  12. Upon further inspection I can now safely confirm my initial analysis.
    Notice that he has secured his ankles to the he has obviously thought this through.

    He has no intention of having his torso join his genatalia as they splat against the wall.

    As for the abscence of curtains, this is hopefully taking place in his Basement Rec Room and that open window is a fake.

    Reminds me of a certain Jodie Foster movie...
    "IT puts his weiner on the Trebuchet."

  13. VOICES: It may help to think of Julie Andrews.

    Sing along…

    I simply remember my favorite things,
    And then I don't feel so bad.

    DONN: Why are we sending Tim Hortons coffee to the troops when we could be sending them trebuchets?

    IVD: Yes, there is a pile of crap.

    Why do you think I mentioned he should be cleaning his living room?

    Does no one read what I write?

    Tomorrow I’ll just post a photo and nothing else.

    BOXER: You can help save the pandas but the pandas cannot save YOU.

    BEAST: His wii definitely has an attachment.

    What language are you writing in, by the way?

  14. EROS: There are no glasses powerful enough to translate IKEA instructions.

    T-BIRD: I can’t listen to Flight of the Valkyries without expecting Elmer Fudd to pop out from behind a tree.

    LOST: If you like, I could peek through that curtainless window and take a pic of his bare arse.

    KNUDSEN: They’re eco-friendly light bulbs.

    He’s doing his bit for the environment.

    KAZ: Yesterday I saw doilies in use on car headrests.

    Is the antimacassar making a comeback?

    DONN: And who is going to clean up the mess, I ask you?

    Kim and Aggie?



  16. What the buggering hell is that brown thing crouching on the floor in the botom right corner

  17. What is it they say, when the cat's away...?

    He is SO going to get a good yelling when his wife comes home to find this

    Does he have a guestbook under the coffee table?

  18. CONNIE: Fudd off.

    BEAST: Brown thing?

    You tell ME.

    I'm at work and can't linger on the photo long enough to decide.

    CYBERPOOF: I'm perusing the pages of his guestbook and see you've been there a time or two.

    You could have least lent a helping hand and cleaned up a little.

    Do YOU have any idea what the brown thing is?

  19. going back to look at the cowboy again and then think about tony bourdain, sugar! ;-)

  20. That brown thing is MJ's neck.


  21. the pannelling is bad enough...



    WHY, GOD, WHY???????????

  22. criminal misuse of lumber
    large picture window
    full of live pomeranian dogs
    piles of dog crap on carpet
    criminal misuse of putter
    wooden elephant endtable
    bad panelling
    really bad panelling
    bad sofa
    bad lamp
    criminal misuse of nazi mad scientist goggles (also used by underwater zombie nazis)
    criminal misuse of photographic medium
    bad stained carpet
    bad model
    bad ceiling fixtures
    criminal misuse of squeezie bulbie thingie
    criminal misuse of blog medium...

    ...shit; this is like one of those pictures in 'HILITES' magazine...'How many things wrong can you find in this picture?'

    *get a a notepad, enlarges picture*

  23. You know, the only thing I'd do in that room would be clean - fully dressed in pants, shirt and chastity belt *Shudders*

    I believe it's just two pieces of wood bolted together with his tackle in the middle like a sandwich

    a very gross sandwich I may add.

  24. SAVANNAH: I have "No Reservations" about that!

    TATAS: More like what comes out of your big gob.

    FN: You're still delirious from the Man Flu.

    At least there's no TOILET PLANTER!

    CYBERPOOF: Speaking of sandwiches, you'd like to be the meat in an Eroswings/Tim sandwich, wouldn't you?

    Or am I thinking of IVD?

  25. Give the dude a break, he could have a boring hobby like gardening.

    He probably keeps a Tom Cruise lookalike in a locked crate, as one does

  26. you can throw in IVD for good measure MJ - he has lovely hair.


  27. i had to come back... im down with the woozy first nations... how many things can you spot that wrong with the picture... i cant look so someone is going to have to tell me... its just wrong, so wrong...

  28. It's a human form of the game Mouse Trap, called Cock Trap.

  29. Is that our own dear blogging mate Tom 909? I thought he was supposed to be out tending new born lambs at this time of year.

  30. GARFER: Garfer? GARFY!!! You're back!

    You DO know that Nations is an avid gardener, don't you?

    You'll have to deal with her in her fevered, Man Flu state for uttering that comment.

    CYBERPOOF: IVD uses too much product.

    VOICES: You're going to have to tell ME.

    I told you I'm still at work and can't look long enough to tell you.

    Do I have to do ALL the work around here?

    Oh right. Nations did a bit of work by the looks of it.

    But she's delirious.

    GEOFF: Is Cocktrap still playing in the West End?

  31. BETTY: Do you have to sneak in like that?

    Do I not have enough on my plate at work without responding to every TOM, Dick and Betty?

    I've never seen Tom in the all together. Have you?

  32. It does look a little heaviely gelled but I'm thinking it's more crunchy than greasy and that's just fine

  33. You're right CyberPetra. My hair is never greasy, but often crunchy - but it brushes out easily as I don't use the megaultrasuperstrong stuff.

    * still laughing at Tatas comment *

  34. I knew it IVD!

    What brand do you use?

  35. CYBERPOOF: Well if you want to run your fingers through IVD's hair, you go right ahead.

    To me, it looks like IVD reached for the mousse but accidentally applied Car's carnauba wax!

    IVD: See comment to CyberPoof.

    And Tatas is really NOT all that funny.

    CYBERPOOF: Carnauba wax.

  36. Clearly, he IS cleaning up his living room by depositing something or other into a sterile container for future use.

  37. WW: You could take some housekeeping tips from him.

    I've seen the state of your fridge.

    And shouldn't you be watching The Playoffs?

    MANUEL: Judging by the lack of natural lighting, it's not morning wood.

  38. after careful examination I have determined that he has his weenis secured to that 2x4 with a leather leash tied to a ring bolt.

    what did his weenis do that was so wrong?

    bad weenis.


    *staggers off to talk to the interesting lady in the mirror*

  39. ...I'm sorry, that has GOT to be traumatizing those poor dogs.

    think about it. with all those pommies, you know he's breeding (dorgs anyway; pray there are no 'angry at my ween' kidlets.) would you buy a used dog from this man?

  40. NATIONS: Do you not have some dough to knead into bread-like shapes?

    Or some busy work in the kitchen to attend to?

    And I know you’ve got lamps worse than his at Rancho First Nations.

  41. This guy looks way too serious about the situation. He needs to lighten up...and clean his living room.

  42. RANDOM: You should go 'round and visit Beast and see how clean HIS house is.

    Quite exemplary.