Friday, August 24, 2007

Vintage Sex Slang Quiz

Take the Vintage Sex Slang Quiz.

I scored 9/10. Beat that, bitches!

If you know any archaic sex slang that’s not included in this quiz, tell us about it.

And what the hell would you call what’s going on in that pic?


  1. I scored a four...

    dang, I need lessons from piggy.

  2. I got a 9 too!

    The only one I got wrong was 'What did Shakespeare call prostitutes?'

    *kicks awa*

  3. 9 here as well.

    My fav archaic sex slang word is 'cunny'.

  4. Yay!!
    10 - that's TEN.
    OK so I'm genuine vintage.

  5. My score is 5

    but then I'm not as old as the lot of you

    especially MJ

    As for what's going on in the photo I have idea what it's called but the bottom girl sure looks pregnant

  6. I got 10/10........yay!

    I didn't even have to guess like the little ginger poof did to score 9.

  7. I so did not guess!

    Anyway, Steve only got 10 because of his past experience as a Piccadilly Circus rent boy.

    As for Kaz, well we all knew that one was a slapper.

  8. AWA: Even the pre-pubescent Dane scored higher than you.

    Don’t they teach you anything in Mississippi?

    PIGGY: What did Shakespeare call ginger-haired poofs?

    Smunty confirmed your gingerness for me, by the way, in the previous posting's comments.

    GARFY: Cunny rhymes with honey, appropriately.

    Do you work it into everyday conversation?

    KAZ: Genuine slag, more like.

    *envious of score*

    CYBERCUNT: Well done considering you’re a Dane and considering you’re even younger than that thick Awa.

    I think the girl on the bottom just has gas.

    SMUNTY: Who’s a clever non-ginger boy?

    PIGGY: Your protests fall on deaf ears.

    What did Shakespeare call a whinger?

  9. If that's just gas I wouldn't stand so close to her

    poor souls if the upper ladies start leaning too hard on her.

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    oh yeah!
    and you call yourself a slut; geeze.

    *suspects mj has been spending too much time 'buffing the silver' causing her to suffers from a perpetual case of 'bloomer girls smile'*

  12. CYBERTWAT: How can you be sure they're all ladies?

    FN: Who are you calling a slut, you vicious trollop?

  13. PIGGY: Thou lump of foul deformity.

    Thou odiferous stench.

  14. I got 6 but talking about sex is ghey I just slap the old Albert in for a chewy toffee up Mulligan street.

  15. Sorry I forgot to lie, Yay I got 10!

  16. KNUDSEN: You brabbler of Killamory!

  17. Hello, MJ. Just testing. I'm going via a different IP address (cheating Blogger) at home. I think they've blocked our computer's IP address.

    Sorry this is a boring comment.

  18. I got 8,but I can lie too.

    I really got 10.

  19. GEOFF: zzzzzz.

    SID: Thou most lying slave,
    Whom stripes may move, not kindness! I have us’d thee,
    Filth as thou art

  20. 7/10 - still it's because Im young

  21. I lieth not,you straggled strumpet,
    With thine thoughts of filthy crumpet.
    My mind be pure and chaste a plenty,
    Away with you, thou filthy quenyte!

    See what you go and start?

  22. FROBI: Young?

    On what planet?

    SID: I could get as drunk,
    As wasted, as I want
    With a companion
    Who makes me har
    A hardy har har,
    And gets as lit
    As, me oh my,
    I, the naughty varlet...
    erm, harlot.

    PIGGY: Can't you see we're busy here?

    Three's a crowd. Shove off.

  23. Let Piggy sleep,so please be kind.
    Now check my post for bacon rind,
    I only jest,creating farce,
    Check out Piggy's enormous arse.

  24. SID: There’s nothing sparse
    About that arse!
    Who could get jiggy
    With the likes of Piggy?

  25. The hippo seems a likely choice,
    They share the same annoying voice.
    And arses too, they're quite alike.
    Imagine seeing him on a bike.

  26. SID: Behold the hippopotamus!
    We laugh at how he looks to us,
    And yet in moments dark and grim
    I wonder how we look to him.

    Peace, peace, thou hippopotamus!
    We really look all right to us,
    As you no doubt delight the eye
    Of other hippopotami.

  27. I cannot say his arse delights,
    One fears of him producing shites,
    Mountains of turd,contained within
    Enough to fill a wheelie bin.

  28. SID: Filthy Piggy.
    Oh so vile.
    At his expense,
    You've made me smile.

  29. Eternal sunshine,it would seem
    I'm off to bed to lucid dream
    Of nice and warm things, I suppose
    Please God, not of Piggy's pose.

  30. SID: My liege
    Tis only just past six
    Oh fie
    My Canuck clock doth play tricks

    For on the Emerald Isle
    Tis very late at night
    So close your eyes
    And sleepeth tight

  31. What is this shite assailith me
    Of arses large and wobbeley?
    Tis mere posey from a Mick
    Who lucid dreams about his dick.

  32. GARFY:
    Garfy do not be so quick
    To judge our SID although his dick
    May find its way into a melon
    Hardly a crime, he’s not a felon

  33. Our SID he is a funny one
    Who dreams of ginger Piggy's bum
    He shags all fruit including grapes
    And cries 'oh what a jolly jape!'

  34. GARFY:
    Though our SID may have his vice
    He won’t think that comment nice
    He’ll attack you with fresh fruit, a plum
    And try to stick it up yer bum

  35. I'll fight him off with a fresh fig
    The melon fancying Irish prig
    He takes offence when on the whisky
    And is inclined to be quite frisky.

  36. GARFY:
    SID’s banana will turn to mush from hard
    If he finds me with another bard
    Do not tarry, you’ll face such sorrow
    But come back soon, perhaps tomorrow?

  37. *stands well away on the sidelines cheering wildly*

  38. FN: Mind the flying loganberries.

  39. Rhyming cunts,MJ and Teacake,
    Abusing fruit,for pervy sake,
    Their poems,they want to humiliate
    Tis foreplay,just before they mate.

  40. Rascals! Rogues!
    Call in the guards
    Fling your passion fruits
    Battle of the bards!

  41. The bard of bollocks take offence!
    The fruity perv wants recompense
    I'll get him with a rotten satsuma
    The oversensitive big baloomba

  42. I throw an orange,pith and all
    At the Tunnock,oh so small,
    Violence yes,just for the laugh
    Pour a whiskey and take a quaff.

  43. GARFY:
    That foolish lout
    He’s full of spleen
    Lob him with
    Your tangerine

    A pithy volley
    Full of juice
    SID scores one
    Make it a deuce?

  44. Is it a fruit? A Star Anaise?
    I'll throw it yes,my hand I raise.
    And aiming for the teacakes eye
    It's stopped by, MJs fattest thigh.

  45. A juicy grapefruit 'pon his bonce
    Will educate this whining ponce
    He masquerades as big and tough
    But his todger isn't big enough

  46. SID:
    You’re one to talk
    You bloated clown
    Pelt him Garfy,
    While he’s down

    ‘Tis true his langer is petite
    Now hit him with some bigger meat!

  47. Eating kebabs,the greasy swine
    I launch an apple, just in time
    To see him duck,a big girls blouse
    His foreplay skill,doth not arouse.

  48. SID:
    Au contraire
    I’m getting hot
    That apple landed
    On my twat.

  49. Pips and stalk do disappear
    In your twat,that men do fear
    Garfy's slack,he doesn't fit
    He lost an arm,while probing it.

  50. SID:
    Oh look
    Your wristwatch has been found
    Remove it please
    From within my mound.

  51. Keep it MJ,oh it stinks
    Garfy's gone,alas methinks
    A beating,he has lost his ghost,
    Now this would make a pleasant post.

  52. Tis dunking time in MJ's mound
    For fruity pervs who dance a jig
    Their elbows they shall run aground
    In waters deep that smell of fig

  53. SID:
    You’ve not scared him off
    You drunken sot
    Although you’ve made me
    Lose the plot.

    SID dunks his biscuit
    In my tea
    Your fruit-laden foe
    Must service me.

  54. Losing the plot,tis common for you.
    Canadian thicko,o'er ocean so blue
    The web I now, am off to browse
    Will be back soon,with veg to arouse

  55. SID:
    Oh tempt me with your gastro porn
    We could be here until the morn
    Is it a carrot plucked from the mud?
    Oh no! I fear it is a spud!

  56. 5. I'm german.

    The illustration might be from an edition of the eleven-thousands virgins. Rods. Tails. verges.

  57. MAGO: Why doesn't it surprise me that a German would know what to call this bizarre sex act?

  58. Eight.

    Fucking eight out of fucking ten!!

    For fucksake!

  59. BOCK: What are you doing, Bock?

    Catching up on my back issues?

    Or has it taken you nearly a year to complete the quiz?

  60. Strange. I arrived there via a link from somewhere else and didn't check the date.

    Cue spooky music.