Take the Vintage Sex Slang Quiz.
I scored 9/10. Beat that, bitches!
If you know any archaic sex slang that’s not included in this quiz, tell us about it.
And what the hell would you call what’s going on in that pic?
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I scored a four...
ReplyDeletedang, I need lessons from piggy.
I got a 9 too!
ReplyDeleteThe only one I got wrong was 'What did Shakespeare call prostitutes?'
*kicks awa*
9 here as well.
ReplyDeleteMy fav archaic sex slang word is 'cunny'.
Yay!!
ReplyDelete10 - that's TEN.
OK so I'm genuine vintage.
My score is 5
ReplyDeletebut then I'm not as old as the lot of you
especially MJ
As for what's going on in the photo I have idea what it's called but the bottom girl sure looks pregnant
I got 10/10........yay!
ReplyDeleteI didn't even have to guess like the little ginger poof did to score 9.
I so did not guess!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Steve only got 10 because of his past experience as a Piccadilly Circus rent boy.
As for Kaz, well we all knew that one was a slapper.
AWA: Even the pre-pubescent Dane scored higher than you.
ReplyDeleteDon’t they teach you anything in Mississippi?
PIGGY: What did Shakespeare call ginger-haired poofs?
Smunty confirmed your gingerness for me, by the way, in the previous posting's comments.
GARFY: Cunny rhymes with honey, appropriately.
Do you work it into everyday conversation?
KAZ: Genuine slag, more like.
*envious of score*
CYBERCUNT: Well done considering you’re a Dane and considering you’re even younger than that thick Awa.
I think the girl on the bottom just has gas.
SMUNTY: Who’s a clever non-ginger boy?
PIGGY: Your protests fall on deaf ears.
What did Shakespeare call a whinger?
If that's just gas I wouldn't stand so close to her
ReplyDeletepoor souls if the upper ladies start leaning too hard on her.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteRED HOT SMOKIN TEN, BABY!
ReplyDeleteoh yeah!
and you call yourself a slut; geeze.
*suspects mj has been spending too much time 'buffing the silver' causing her to suffers from a perpetual case of 'bloomer girls smile'*
CYBERTWAT: How can you be sure they're all ladies?
ReplyDeleteFN: Who are you calling a slut, you vicious trollop?
FN is spot on!
ReplyDeleteSlut!
(MJ, not FN)
PIGGY: Thou lump of foul deformity.
ReplyDeleteThou odiferous stench.
I got 6 but talking about sex is ghey I just slap the old Albert in for a chewy toffee up Mulligan street.
ReplyDeleteSorry I forgot to lie, Yay I got 10!
ReplyDeleteKNUDSEN: You brabbler of Killamory!
ReplyDeleteHello, MJ. Just testing. I'm going via a different IP address (cheating Blogger) at home. I think they've blocked our computer's IP address.
ReplyDeleteSorry this is a boring comment.
I got 8,but I can lie too.
ReplyDeleteI really got 10.
GEOFF: zzzzzz.
ReplyDeleteSID: Thou most lying slave,
Whom stripes may move, not kindness! I have us’d thee,
Filth as thou art
7/10 - still it's because Im young
ReplyDeleteI lieth not,you straggled strumpet,
ReplyDeleteWith thine thoughts of filthy crumpet.
My mind be pure and chaste a plenty,
Away with you, thou filthy quenyte!
See what you go and start?
Zzzzzz
ReplyDeleteFROBI: Young?
ReplyDeleteOn what planet?
SID: I could get as drunk,
As wasted, as I want
With a companion
Who makes me har
A hardy har har,
And gets as lit
As, me oh my,
I, the naughty varlet...
erm, harlot.
PIGGY: Can't you see we're busy here?
Three's a crowd. Shove off.
Let Piggy sleep,so please be kind.
ReplyDeleteNow check my post for bacon rind,
I only jest,creating farce,
Check out Piggy's enormous arse.
SID: There’s nothing sparse
ReplyDeleteAbout that arse!
Who could get jiggy
With the likes of Piggy?
The hippo seems a likely choice,
ReplyDeleteThey share the same annoying voice.
And arses too, they're quite alike.
Imagine seeing him on a bike.
SID: Behold the hippopotamus!
ReplyDeleteWe laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dark and grim
I wonder how we look to him.
Peace, peace, thou hippopotamus!
We really look all right to us,
As you no doubt delight the eye
Of other hippopotami.
I cannot say his arse delights,
ReplyDeleteOne fears of him producing shites,
Mountains of turd,contained within
Enough to fill a wheelie bin.
SID: Filthy Piggy.
ReplyDeleteOh so vile.
At his expense,
You've made me smile.
Eternal sunshine,it would seem
ReplyDeleteI'm off to bed to lucid dream
Of nice and warm things, I suppose
Please God, not of Piggy's pose.
SID: My liege
ReplyDeleteTis only just past six
Oh fie
My Canuck clock doth play tricks
For on the Emerald Isle
Tis very late at night
So close your eyes
And sleepeth tight
What is this shite assailith me
ReplyDeleteOf arses large and wobbeley?
Tis mere posey from a Mick
Who lucid dreams about his dick.
GARFY:
ReplyDeleteGarfy do not be so quick
To judge our SID although his dick
May find its way into a melon
Hardly a crime, he’s not a felon
Our SID he is a funny one
ReplyDeleteWho dreams of ginger Piggy's bum
He shags all fruit including grapes
And cries 'oh what a jolly jape!'
GARFY:
ReplyDeleteThough our SID may have his vice
He won’t think that comment nice
He’ll attack you with fresh fruit, a plum
And try to stick it up yer bum
I'll fight him off with a fresh fig
ReplyDeleteThe melon fancying Irish prig
He takes offence when on the whisky
And is inclined to be quite frisky.
GARFY:
ReplyDeleteSID’s banana will turn to mush from hard
If he finds me with another bard
Do not tarry, you’ll face such sorrow
But come back soon, perhaps tomorrow?
*stands well away on the sidelines cheering wildly*
ReplyDeleteFN: Mind the flying loganberries.
ReplyDeleteRhyming cunts,MJ and Teacake,
ReplyDeleteAbusing fruit,for pervy sake,
Their poems,they want to humiliate
Tis foreplay,just before they mate.
Rascals! Rogues!
ReplyDeleteCall in the guards
Fling your passion fruits
Battle of the bards!
The bard of bollocks take offence!
ReplyDeleteThe fruity perv wants recompense
I'll get him with a rotten satsuma
The oversensitive big baloomba
I throw an orange,pith and all
ReplyDeleteAt the Tunnock,oh so small,
Violence yes,just for the laugh
Pour a whiskey and take a quaff.
GARFY:
ReplyDeleteThat foolish lout
He’s full of spleen
Lob him with
Your tangerine
SID:
A pithy volley
Full of juice
SID scores one
Make it a deuce?
Is it a fruit? A Star Anaise?
ReplyDeleteI'll throw it yes,my hand I raise.
And aiming for the teacakes eye
It's stopped by, MJs fattest thigh.
A juicy grapefruit 'pon his bonce
ReplyDeleteWill educate this whining ponce
He masquerades as big and tough
But his todger isn't big enough
SID:
ReplyDeleteYou’re one to talk
You bloated clown
Pelt him Garfy,
While he’s down
GARFY:
‘Tis true his langer is petite
Now hit him with some bigger meat!
Eating kebabs,the greasy swine
ReplyDeleteI launch an apple, just in time
To see him duck,a big girls blouse
His foreplay skill,doth not arouse.
SID:
ReplyDeleteAu contraire
I’m getting hot
That apple landed
On my twat.
Pips and stalk do disappear
ReplyDeleteIn your twat,that men do fear
Garfy's slack,he doesn't fit
He lost an arm,while probing it.
SID:
ReplyDeleteOh look
Your wristwatch has been found
Remove it please
From within my mound.
Keep it MJ,oh it stinks
ReplyDeleteGarfy's gone,alas methinks
A beating,he has lost his ghost,
Now this would make a pleasant post.
Tis dunking time in MJ's mound
ReplyDeleteFor fruity pervs who dance a jig
Their elbows they shall run aground
In waters deep that smell of fig
SID:
ReplyDeleteYou’ve not scared him off
You drunken sot
Although you’ve made me
Lose the plot.
GARFY:
SID dunks his biscuit
In my tea
Your fruit-laden foe
Must service me.
Losing the plot,tis common for you.
ReplyDeleteCanadian thicko,o'er ocean so blue
The web I now, am off to browse
Will be back soon,with veg to arouse
SID:
ReplyDeleteOh tempt me with your gastro porn
We could be here until the morn
Is it a carrot plucked from the mud?
Oh no! I fear it is a spud!
5. I'm german.
ReplyDeleteThe illustration might be from an edition of the eleven-thousands virgins. Rods. Tails. verges.
youknowwhatImean.
MAGO: Why doesn't it surprise me that a German would know what to call this bizarre sex act?
ReplyDeleteEight.
ReplyDeleteFucking eight out of fucking ten!!
For fucksake!
BOCK: What are you doing, Bock?
ReplyDeleteCatching up on my back issues?
Or has it taken you nearly a year to complete the quiz?
Strange. I arrived there via a link from somewhere else and didn't check the date.
ReplyDeleteCue spooky music.