Friday, August 17, 2007

Fill in the Blank

MJ is (fill in the blank.)


  1. a man (That's a pretty hairy wrist for a woman...)

  2. not in bed because she had a long day at the office where she had to fend for her life against a spork welding coworker who cornered her in the copy room and demanded sex or her lunch money in which she drop kicked him in the penis region and made him fall to the ground at that time she fled the office and ran outside only to run smack dab into a hotdog cart and find herself all covered in mustard and relish, to which the owner of said cart offered her a helping hand and then molested her tush in the process, in which MJ slapped him only to have him scream bloody murder and yell for help, after which MJ ran down the sidewalk only to slip on a hob nob and fall face first into the concrete, she was then rushed to the hospital and treated only to be released to her husband who kissed her broken nose and told her it would be okay and for her to forgo the computer for one night and come to bed...she refused so she is now sitting in front of the computer eating mac and cheese while her hubby snores madly in the background.

    Am I right?

  3. holding his pencil properly. You'd be surprised at the way some people do. Its getting to be a lost art. Good for you MJ!

  4. lorraina...mj types with her tongue...didntchaknow?

    *runs aways laughing*

  5. Dear MJ
    I've been commenting on other blogs and I think its time we had some doon time. I met this really great Canadian woman that shares my interest with dead bodies. Don't take this the wrong way its you not me, I hope we can still be friends or at least drunken fuck buddies. I hope you and Eddie can find happiness together without me.

  6. MJ is... A cunt.

    Obvious answer really.

  7. Is running out of paper to mop up her batter.

  8. Unfortunately Canadian.

    Shall I go on?

  9. IVD: You only wish I was a man so you’d have one more punter in your bed.

    AWA: No, you’re not right.

    I see that time away in rehab did nothing for you.

    LORRAINA: Welcome! How did you end up in this grease pit?

    Nice old Ford you have there. I go to the Show & Shines too.

    And by the way, I’m a woman. That's not me in the pic and IVD lies.

    KNUDSEN: No harm done. Eddie Waring has a nicer arse than you anyway.

    PIGGY: That’s Queen of the Cunts to you.

    SID: You're not too big to put across my knee so I’d shut it right now if I were you.

    GEOFF: No, I’m not pregnant. I’ve just eaten far too many HobNobs.

  10. . . . running out of ideas to post

    . . . really a man

    . . . clapped up to the eyeballs

    Oh, I could go on and on . . .

  11. Trying to forge the hospital psychiatrists signature for her early release.

  12. Trying to write the letter A.

  13. ... in need of a jolly good spanking.

  14. ... really an alien from planet Mong.

  15. ... a tramp magnet on mondays, between 9pm and midnight - at which time she turns back to being a common slut.

  16. ... in need of lipsuction on those awful orange-peel thighs.

  17. ... losing to Maidy in the bitch-fight fest.


  18. GARFY: I’m also trying to adopt a marmot.

    FROBI: But unlike you, my tomatoes are ripe and juicy.

    SID: Psychiatrist? Says the brain-damaged Irishman.

    “A?” Eh?

    PIGGY: Who’s giving me the spanking? I don’t bend over for just anyone, you know.

    My thighs are smooth and silky and I’m about to wrap them around the Psycho Bitch’s neck in a winning scissor hold.

    SID: Sober? Not for long if you keep this level of abuse.

  19. Writing a thank you letter to the local prison governor for the regular bookings.

  20. *starts drinking too - it's after 6pm now*

  21. ..too good for all the above ingrates.

    How else would we get through the day
    If it weren't for the blog of mj???

  22. KAZ: *slips Kaz a tenner*

    PIGGY: *slips Piggy the finger*

  23. *squeals*

    *notes MJ's fingers are calloused*

  24. Is emery boarding her callous warts

    P and T made me write that.

  25. PIGGY: *notes Piggy's rectal bleeding from last night's anniversary celebrations*

    You were probably squealing then too.

    SID: You'll be emery boarding the welts off yer arse after I finish thwacking your big backside.

  26. Is now going to check her email


  27. SID: Just read your email.

    Obviously you’re drunk as we’ve had this conversation before.

    You know I won’t do that “special thing with my tongue” unless you bathe thoroughly first.

    Email me again after you've had a good scrub.

  28. MJ wants us to fill in her blank.


  29. MJ you know I only scrub "after" that thing you do with your tongue.

    With bleach of course.

  30. SID: I can’t get the taste of your special bleach out of my mouth.

  31. KAPI: Apologies for skipping over you but I had my mouth full.

  32. Thanks for the link MJ,I just purchased the magnifying mirror for Piggy.

    I also noted that the bleach was originally for use on the neck?

  33. SID: And I’ve just purchased these for you.

  34. MJ is

    ... a bitch

    ... a strumpet

    ... not all that bright.

    ... a bit touched.

    ... as bright as a small appliance light bulb.

    ... terribly boring when sober.

    ... daft

    ... pretty fucking lazy and relies on comments to liven up her blog.

    ... a Canadian (and that's as low as I'll get).

  35. canadia...
    ...oh now thats gone too far, maidy.

    *nails cheese repellent to border crossing, sacrifices seven 'Baby Bel Gouda' to Cthulhu*

  36. MAIDY & FN:

    American women, stay away from me
    American women, mama let me be.

    Is that the cheese with the laughing cow on it?

  37. The cheese with the laughing cow on it is called...

    Laughing Cow cheese.

    Dozy cunt.

  38. PIGGY: Here in Canada the laughing cow cheese is called "La Vache Qui Rire."

    Plotte Sale.


    Vas te faire foutre.

  39. Sale? Comme vous-même? Chienne effrontée!

    Je te deteste!


  40. PIGGY: Ta gueule!

    P'tit tapette de Yorkshire.

  41. That was your best comeback?


    I find you no longer a challenge.

  42. MJ - Trou d'homme béant de Vancouver!

    *waves and smiles sweetly at Maidy*

  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

  44. ....a dirty bilingualist!

    *spearheading the invasion, nations charges headlong across border carrying the stars and bars aloft ahead of the armed and slavering menopausal hoardes*

  45. MAIDY: If it’s a challenge you’re looking for, get your arse back over to Geo’s Barbie bitchfight.

    PIGGY: You’d love to have that gaping manhole of yours stuffed.

    And often.

    In any language.

    CYBERPETE: Eat my Wienerbrød.

    FN: Trilingual.

    Chinga tu madre.

    PIGGY: I suspect she’s leading the Dykes on Bikes across the border as well.

  46. ... sitting in her suppurating sore slime

  47. WARING: Can I help it if those pics you send of your hairy arse have that effect? No. Enough I say. Enough.

    CONNIE: Come closer so I might rub my festering sores up against you.

  48. Bloody cheek! Everyone knows I gave up quadrupeds years ago.

  49. TICKERS: Did you perhaps mean this comment for the Blogging Roundup?

    *wonders if Ticks is off his meds*

  50. different than she appears to be...