Thursday, August 02, 2007

Three-Way Bitch Fight!

MJ vs MAIDY & FIRST NATIONS!

THE CLEAN CANUCK vs THE DIRTY AMERICAN BITCHES!



Ringside seats still available!

You’ve witnessed bitch fights here before between that American Psycho Bitch Maidy and me.

But now, those TWO filthy American bitches, Maidy AND First Nations have declared war on me… separately. But I’m bringing them here together under one roof for a showdown.


This is how it looks when Maidy and I get down and dirty…



brutal


Really, the only reason Maidy wants to fight me is so she has an excuse to feel me up. Horny bitch that she is. To appease her, I pretend to like it.

Maidy’s just popped a sprog and she’s back in fighting form. But now she has a secret weapon that she can use against me….

CAUTION...


NSFW pic coming up…






If she squirts me in the eye, I don’t stand a chance.



As for First Nations (FN), she’s a tough-talkin’ motorcycle mama and I can only imagine the mayhem that will ensue when she tries to take me on. I’m guessing this will be the scene…









FN and I have issues over fellow blogger Old Knudsen. You see, both FN and I are hardcore Knudsenites.



FN wants to hump him. I just want him to bring me my tea. I told her there’s enough Knudsen for everybody but will she listen? So it’s time to take a swing at her if I can dodge her big tits and even bigger gob.

Don’t expect her ‘round here right away. She sleeps ‘til noon Pacific Standard Time and then it takes her a couple of hours to put her slap on.

Right! Let the action begin!

All 3 bitches in this fight reside in North America so don’t expect the first swing ‘til later.

And the rest of you? Feel free to jump in and referee any time. Or just cheer me on.

Are you ready to rrrrumble?

74 comments:

  1. Oh dear the weemen fighting over me again, its tough when you have all this going on, don't worry even the loser will win as I like it when they lie still.

    No yay I'm first for you lot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would normally be rooting for First Nations but she's transferred her affections to Mutley. So kick her ass MJ!

    ReplyDelete
  3. KNUDSEN: It's your lucky day as both Maidy and FN are out cold at the moment.

    Lazy bitches still aren't out of bed.

    TICKERS: Gotta love your zeal.

    I'm setting up a bouncy castle in the arena for you.

    FROBI: FN's a fickle cunt.

    Do you remember how last year she made me back off as she demanded to be your main fag hag?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yay I'm first (to say yay)

    WV: whind

    I'm speechless.

    ReplyDelete
  5. yawn

    So now FN and I have to bitch slap you around today?

    *cracks knuckles*

    Okay, if you insist.

    *grabs cat o' nine tails and waits for FN to show*

    ReplyDelete
  6. BILLY: Save your breath to taunt Maidy and FN later.

    MAIDY: *bides time with morning coffee waiting for that slapper from south of the border*

    ReplyDelete
  7. OH, IT'S ON, CHEESER!
    *assumes ninjalike stance*
    BRING IT, PANCAKES!

    *tits start a whippin*

    I ASSAULT YOU IN THE NAME OF THE KING OF FRAAAAANCE!

    *lands solid roundhouse upside mj's ample chops, knocks her back into glass cabinet filled with dildoes*

    *oh you know that's what her front room looks like*

    OH YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! DOUBLE D'S BABY! 2 TIMES THE DOOM!

    ReplyDelete
  8. ...p.s FROBI I NEVER DID! YOU ARE MY SUGAR RAT!

    ReplyDelete
  9. FN: Oh yeah? Well I slap you senseless with Mr. Super Cock!

    FROBI: She told me you have a tiny ding dong. I know she’s lying. Everyone knows you were the model for Mr. Super Cock.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oooo, quick! Tag me! Tag me!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. MAIDY: Off with your clothes.

    ReplyDelete
  12. *strips down to her leather thong and vinyl bustier*

    Okay, bitch. You're mine now!

    ReplyDelete
  13. MAIDY: I'm not yours 'til I've seen you nekkid.

    *undoes Maidy's bustier one hook and eye closure at a time*

    *with my teeth*

    I could be here awhile.

    ReplyDelete
  14. *grabs a drink*

    I'm not arguing.

    Hey ... FN!!!!

    Where the fuck are ya??

    ReplyDelete
  15. Phmmphawwmmm.

    What? My mouth is full.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Tradition Scottish rules apply - you must be bare breasted with a baby under one arm!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Y'all know I'm the wimp round here.
    Can I hold your towel please?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well, I can handle the baby part that's for sure.

    *goes back to concentrating on .. I mean ... fending off MJ*

    ReplyDelete
  19. *first nations still groggy, lying in a disgraceful scatter of broken glass and silicone sex toys*

    Jesus h. Christ on a red bicycle! the power of the UberDong is mighty indeed, my foe!

    wait...that doesn't look like a fight to me.

    *whistles* hey, you guys? hello? fight? aggression? yoo hoo?

    well...at least the baby looks grumpy. *makes faces at the baby hoping it will cry*

    ReplyDelete
  20. FROBI: Bare breasted, yes.

    Babies, no.

    I won't want any baby throw-up on me.

    KAZ: You can hold my towel AND you can flick it at Maidy and FN's big arses.

    MAIDY: Fending me off?

    You love it, bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  21. FN: Hey! You snuck in under my petticoat!

    ReplyDelete
  22. what d'you expect if you call on the king of france - they cut his head off you know - who d'u think you are Marie Antoinette?
    Now get a grip woman and tell her her arse is HUGE

    ReplyDelete
  23. ZIGGI: Right you are!

    FN: Yer arse is so big it's visible from Google Earth!

    ReplyDelete
  24. yeah, and it's just like you'd think it would be under here too...white line, stop lights, six lanes of traffic....
    *delivers a near-fatal BREASTS WHIRL OF DANGER! and sends MJ sliding across the room on spilled KY*

    ReplyDelete
  25. *...and my ass is not huge! it's just flat. like the earth.
    *delivers extra titblast to downed MJ just for good measure*

    ReplyDelete
  26. ....sitting on boudoir chair, filing nails, tapping foot...

    ReplyDelete
  27. *grabs onto whirling breasts of danger and circles around the room knocking Maidy out flat*

    *ties FN's tits in a knot*

    ReplyDelete
  28. *suprised FN's huge arse fits on a boudoir chair*

    *sound of collapsing furniture*

    ReplyDelete
  29. *stirring giant pot of Jell-O*

    Okay, girls, it's almost *WHOA*!!!

    *maidy slips on KY*

    Crap.

    Hey, who made JT cry????

    ReplyDelete
  30. jello?

    jello?

    oo! there's ALWAYS room for jello!

    ReplyDelete
  31. *creates giant Jello mold from FN's huge arse*

    *enough Jello now to feed everyone on my Blogroll*

    ReplyDelete
  32. *laughing uproariously at the absurdity of any association of the words 'cherry' and 'MJ'*

    ReplyDelete
  33. 'beats watching Cricket on The Telly............

    ReplyDelete
  34. HA!

    *deploys jello snorkel*

    You cannot defeat my jello-fu! My jello fu is powerful!

    *engages rotary boob drive*

    *realizes they're still tied in a knot*

    *sinks to bottom, with grapes*

    ReplyDelete
  35. TONY: Have a jello shot while you're here.

    *waits for bottom feeders to devour FN*

    ReplyDelete
  36. *lugs bottles of heated almond scented message oil*

    *realizes people are staring at her*

    What???

    It's for medicinal purposes.

    ReplyDelete
  37. MAIDY: oooo...where would you like me to apply the oil?

    ReplyDelete
  38. *nations watches as carniverous jello grapes surround her*

    *knocking on sides of bowl*

    a little help here? hello?

    ReplyDelete
  39. *laffs at submerged FN and knocks back another jello shot*

    ReplyDelete
  40. *steals mr. super cock and runs away*

    ReplyDelete
  41. CYBERPETE: Come back with Mr. Super Cock, you thieving little fairy!

    If you don’t get back here, I’ll punch your lights out with The Fist!

    ReplyDelete
  42. ...these grapes are very...friendly.

    *adjusts jello snorkel*

    *eyes glaze over*

    ReplyDelete
  43. *ignores FN*

    Maidy, is that FLAVOURED oil?

    ReplyDelete
  44. *brings back mr super cock and runs off to buy the Johnny Hazzard cock*

    ReplyDelete
  45. *maidy tastes*

    Yep!

    Ummm, is FN drowning?

    ReplyDelete
  46. CYBERPETE: *checks for damage to Mr. Super Cock*

    Why is the Johnny Hazzard Penis two different colours? It looks like he’s dipped it in something.

    MAIDY: I’m not worried about FN.

    Those big tits of hers will keep her afloat.

    *rubs flavoured massage oil into Maidy’s bits*

    ReplyDelete
  47. ...theres VODKA in this jello, y'all...

    blub


    blub

    ReplyDelete
  48. FN: That's Kaz's vodka bottle. I'm surprised there's anything left in it.

    *performs camel clutch hold on FN and wrestles bottle away from her*

    *uses FN's big arse as a bouncy castle*

    ReplyDelete
  49. MRP: Welcome!

    Are you cheering me on because you want me to send you those nude pics of Knudsen?

    ReplyDelete
  50. NO FAIR WEARING HEELS!

    fine! fine! bitch, I give!
    he's ALL YOURS!
    KNUDSON I AM SORRY! SHE PROVED THE BETTER HO!

    *runs off sobbing*
    *comes back, grabs bottle, runs off again*

    ReplyDelete
  51. FN: Stop your sobbing, bitch.

    TRUCE!

    In fairness, can we agree to share Knudsen? As I originally proposed?

    He'll brew my tea and then pop over to yours to shag you in his pee-stained trousers.

    Have we got a deal?

    Leave that bottle here.

    ReplyDelete
  52. *snif*


    i am a broken woman.
    here, take the bottle.

    *cracks MJ over the skull with it*

    PSYCHE!
    IT'S ON, CHEESER!

    ReplyDelete
  53. HA HA!

    MJ got pwned! MJ got pwned!!!

    ReplyDelete
  54. *grabs SuperSoaker 3500 gun and fills with warmed massage oil*

    *points it at FN*

    Reach for the sky, cowgirl!

    ReplyDelete
  55. HA!
    would I relinquish my Knudson so easily? come on. that sallow withered body, covered in scaling sores and reeking of night sweat and half-healed infection? that forlorn appendage dribbling a constant yellow syrup...webbed eyes rimmed with dried sleep, toothless mouth frosted with yeast infections?
    and that hat?


    ....come to think of it, i give.
    he's all yours.
    *steps off mj's chest, gathers up boobs and retreats for good*

    ReplyDelete
  56. Cunts. Both of you.

    I say we send Knudsen over to Maidy's.

    ReplyDelete
  57. we're sorry. the person you are trying to reach has moved. no forwarding address can be found.

    this is a recording

    ReplyDelete
  58. MAIDY: That's too bad.

    I was going to bring Mr. Super Cock over for a visit.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Fine.

    Me, you, Super Cock, and at least 3 gallons of almond massage oil ... all we need is rubber sheets and gerbils and it will be a par-tay!

    ReplyDelete
  60. *nations hollers thorugh window*
    gerbils? more like BADGERS for the two of you!
    *runs*

    ReplyDelete
  61. * snaps on rubber gloves and a plastic pinny *

    Damn it. I took so long putting on my protection that I forgot what I was going to say.

    Bugger.

    ReplyDelete
  62. * nips off to Cyberpete's in case he still has the Dukes of Hazzard Cock, or what ever it was *

    ReplyDelete
  63. Okay, I'm outta here on the next flight to Philly. You won't be hearing from me for the next few hours.

    Geo had better not be there. Last time he peeked through the keyhole the whole time, the dirty perv.

    FN you are invited too but only if you bring your famous guacamole and only if you let me do that thing with the salsa.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Oh fuck it. That IVD fairy queen slipped in there as I was on my way out the door.

    Listen, IVD. I'm taking Mr. Super Cock with me to Maidy's house.

    I hope you and Cyberpete and Johnny Hazzard's cock will all be very happy together.

    Right. I'm done here.

    Bitches.

    ReplyDelete
  65. "What in the wide, wide, world of sports is a-goin' on here?"
    Chill Wills in Blazing Saddles

    Michael Vick heard that some bitches was fighting and he wants in for 50!

    ReplyDelete
  66. maybe he dipped it in flavoured oil?

    ReplyDelete
  67. HE: Tell that dick Vick that this is a catfight, not a dogfight.

    CYBERPETE: Hot pot!

    ReplyDelete
  68. I'm sure IDV and I could have a lot of fun with Johnny Hazzards cock

    ReplyDelete
  69. CYBERPETE: I'm sure you already have.

    ReplyDelete