Monday, August 20, 2007

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.

I tried to get ‘round to all of you but listening to Taz and Pig’s long, drawn-out podcast took my entire Sunday evening so apologies to those I’ve missed.





The great British Biscuit Trial continues as I crunched my way this week through a packet of McVitie’s Dark Chocolate Digestives.

All this biscuit-munching may result in an arse like Piggy’s if I don’t limit my intake…





Ha! You thought I was going to post this photo, didn’t you?…





Let’s see what the rest of you have been up to…


TAZZY AND PIGGY:



Piggy and Tazzy: mongs with mics.


If you have fuck-all to do with the next 50 minutes of your life, give a listen to Taz and Pig’s podcast.

Actually, just listen to the first few minutes as I, MJ, do the introduction and I lead in with one of my favourite songs, “Be My Baby” by the Ronettes. Everything else on the podcast is shite.

So for those of you who rightly can’t be bothered to listen to the whole boring podcast, apart, of course, from my intro, here’s the gist of it…

Taz and Pig slag us all off.

IVD, the “poor skinny little fucker” is urged to “pull your finger out of your bony arse and get a fuckin’ pic of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts on your blog.”

SID’s hard-on is a topic of conversation as SID is assumed to be “playing the podcast in his car, fiddling with his willy as he drives along the motorway” in his “soggy crotchless panties.” Now that I believe. Let’s hear more about his thigh fat next time though, eh boys?

Piggy relates how he made the Smunts’ children cry and he describes them as “little bastards” who may not be Smunty’s kids at all. It’s also revealed that the Smunts’ house is infested with fleas and that the Smunts make a shite cuppa tea. And, no surprise here, we learn that Taz and Pig had to fight Smunty the Cabin Boy off in the sauna.

Taz and Pig wager on who will win in the “Two Dirty Slappers” Maidy/MJ bitchfight. Their money’s on Maidy, that “lazy bitch who took three fuckin’ years to read Harry Potter” and whose “gaping cunt looks like two bits of sloppy liver slapping together.”

We are treated to hearing Piggy fart on the microphone instead of his usual M.O. of farting under the quilt or on Tazzy’s thigh.

We learn that Tazzy has a “silky anus.”

Lots of “mmm,” “aye,” and “oink” as Taz and Pig are incapable of speaking English without all of us consulting our Yorkshire-English dictionaries.

And finally, you two can fuck off with your planned Sunday night podcasts versus my Monday morning Blogging Roundups. I’d put a stop to that idea right now if I were you.

And who are you calling a dirty slag?

Mmm. Aye. Oink.




SID:



SID humping hugging a tree.


The Oirish Cunt heaved his fat arse to the top of Slieve Donard where, unfortunately, no one pushed him off.




GEO:





Geo poses his young daughter’s Barbie dolls in compromising positions as they simulate a Maidy/MJ bitchfight.

The perv.



MAIDY:





Dumbass mistakes the open window on her vehicle for a clean window and flings her leather card carrier out.



KAPITANO:

Kapi lists a variety of subjects in the school curriculum…

Nature Study



Women's Health



American History





KAZ:





Kaz reveals that on the night that Elvis died, she was table dancing in a seedy underground nightclub in Belgium.



THE SMUNTS:



Piggy (Gollum) and Carly’s mammoth mammary.


Plenty of piccies of The Smuntyville Horror Part 2 aka Tazzy and Piggy visit the Smunts.




BETTY:



Clive Jenkins: Hot? Or not?


Betty asks, “WHO WAS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE TRADE UNION LEADER?”



GEOFF:





Geoff critiques forthcoming attractions at the Dartford Orchard Theatre.




FIRST NATIONS:





FN continues her holiday travelogue. That’s her above as a local farmer urges her to try his corn.




EDDIE WARING:





British ex-pat Waring wastes his money on American beer.

“I drank 5 fuckin' pints and probably pissed 15 times, all I got was a headache.”




BILLY:





Billy asks who would you do if you batted for the other team.




IVD (INEXPLICABLE DeVICE):





IVD is awol (stalling for time to avoid posting The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts compo) as he’s servicing the employees of the London Underground.




OLD KNUDSEN:



Graham Norton's arse.


Knudsen presents tits, arse, and the Gangs of Glasgow.




TICKERS:





Tickers snuggles (but with who? a sheep?) whilst wearing an old dog coat and eating cauliflower cheese.




AWAITING:





Our Mississippi Mama Awa is back!

And she’s brought her bigass titties with her.



AND FINALLY…



MJ’s pussy


Remember to email me pics of your animal friends this week. I’ll post ‘em on Sunday, August 26th.

26 comments:

  1. Yayyyy! I'm first!

    And in case of emergency, pull bra string for immediate floation devices!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bugger, just commented on the wrong post. See comments on post below.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Looks like I'll have to miss double Corrie tonight so I can listen to P and T's podcast.

    ReplyDelete
  4. *starts a petition demanding MJ does a podcast*

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh and interesting to note that you failed to mention the bit about your 'Don Kin resembling muff'...

    ReplyDelete
  6. AWA: In case of famine, pull bra string.

    CONNIE: Noted.

    *waits for pussy pics*

    KAZ: Miss Corrie? Now that’s just crazy talk.

    Warning: Tazzy’s accent will make you want to pleasure yourself.

    PIGGY: Me do a podcast?

    Have you forgotten the last time I tried to do something technical?

    As for the muff, what was that other word you were using? Faff? Pfaff? Please spell it out and translate and try to enunciate on the next podcast.

    ReplyDelete
  7. It was 'Faff'.

    Slang for fanny/vag/cunt.

    Blame Tazzy for that anunciation.

    *kicks awa*

    *laughs as her arse wobbles*

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Have you forgotten the last time I tried to do something technical?"

    Sadly, no.

    Sadly, not ever.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Have you forgotten the last time I tried to do something technical?"

    Neither have I.

    Pussy pics sent

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh dear looks like peopole have been busy.

    One could learn from this

    or not

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Blame Tazzy for that anunciation".

    Piggy explain this.."anunciation"


    *bangs head against brick wall*


    Yes MJ a podcast please.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "peopole"

    I see Cyberpete has welcomed himself into the ranks of the thick cunts.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I may get up the courage to listen to your podcast sometime this week

    but I'm a sensitive soul so I may have to skip the first bit with MJ

    ReplyDelete
  14. A wise decision, Cyberpete. Very wise indeed.

    For a slapper, she actually has quite a nice telly voice though.

    Thankfully, we're spared the vision of the face to accompany the voice.

    Or the orange-peel, cellulite thighs (which they ARE, despite her whining protests).

    We know.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yes she does have a great telly voice

    Thank god there isn't a tv version, wouldn't want to see those cellulite thighs that's for sure

    ReplyDelete
  16. PIGGY: Anunciation?

    Do you have a hotline to the angel Gabriel?

    Thick cunt.

    CONNIE: Got ‘em and ta.

    Tatas has a pretty pussy.

    SID: I don’t see YOU offering to do a podcast. (Thankfully).

    Of all the cunts in this circle, your accent is the hardest to understand, ya thick Mick.

    CYBERPEOPLE: “People?”

    You are officially no longer the “New Cunt” on this blog now that you’ve humiliated yourself publicly. You're one of us whether you like it or not.

    *ignores fact that CyberTwat’s first language isn’t English*

    PIGGY AND CYBERTWINK: My thighs are as smooth and silky as Tazzy’s anus.

    Don’t make me send pics to prove it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh bugger. CyberTwat wrote "peopole" and I wrote "people?"...

    *pulls up alongside SID to bang my head into the wall*

    ReplyDelete
  18. *adds a few more nails to the wail*

    ReplyDelete
  19. I had 10 lovely weemen arses and you had to post Norton's.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I know how to spell peopole

    wait peopla?

    hmmm

    ReplyDelete
  21. PIGGY: The "wail?"

    Come again, mongchops?

    KNUDSEN: 'Cause Norton's arse is the pic you use as your PC wallpaper, that's why.

    CYPBERPEOPLA: Up with peopla.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Open book me.

    Inflatable sheep are so 90's.

    ReplyDelete
  23. BOCK: Around here we prefer the term "Community of Cunts."

    ReplyDelete