Ta very much.
But more than a few of you have emailed me saying, “MJ, when are you going to get your tits out of your blouse?”
So, to be fair, I’ll reveal all to you.
It’s the least you deserve.
You may want to mix yourself a stiff one before you behold my bedazzling beauty.
Wait for it . . .
Fall to your knees and worship me, bitches.
Is that real Beaver? were ya just popping doon to the shops? will ya marry me?
ReplyDeleteThat's not you!
ReplyDeleteI'd recognise Maidy anywhere.
It's the legs. They're a dead giveaway.
my god i was soooo shock!
ReplyDeleteConvict: Must have been the enema.
ReplyDeleteKnudsen: It’s the real thing. Canadian beaver.
I’m just popping out to score some smack.
I’m flattered by your proposal but my heart and other dangly bits belong to another.
Piggy: It’s me, not Maidy. Skinny legs and all. That American bitch can barely roll out of bed at this stage. Let alone waddle over here for a photo shoot.
Chase: You’re such a delicate little flower, aren’t you?
Smack? Or crack? And why do you need to go out for it? I thought you'd just be able to 'phone home' and it'd be delivered?
ReplyDeleteAs for the observation of Maidy being unable to waddle at the moment, how cruel! I thought it applied to MOST Americans? You shouldn't have singled her out in such a cruel way.
I won't ask you where you've put the Cuban cigar you're normally smoking ...
ReplyDeletebetty - looks like she's holding it in place, to me.
ReplyDeleteNo grip, obviously.
Poor Maidy will know that same feeling soon enough.
'Clowns Pocket' are the words that spring to mind.
ReplyDeleteYou nasty little cunts.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am NOT WADDLING!
And that's not me!
And I can still grip, dammit!
Pics!
ReplyDeleteWe demand pics as proof, Maidy.
We wont rest until we see them.
Piggy: *touches heart*
ReplyDeleteOuch.
Betty: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. -- Freud
Piggy: Mine is smaller than YOUR gaping clown’s pocket.
In fact, you could fit a car full of clowns up yours.
Convict: Cheeky cunt.
Remember, I have your moobs pics.
Maidy: The only reason you can still grip is that you've attached anti-skid mats.
Piggy: Break the American bitch down.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, so fuck off.
ReplyDeleteYou get NOTHING!!! Hear me, o porcine one!??! NOTHING!!!!
No cameras are permitted near me for the duration of the pregnancy.
It looks more like piggy in drag to me. Nothing but manboobs and a filthy wig.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm Hold ups.
ReplyDeleteThat's grosser than a pic of Piggy.
*no its not*
I will settle for dirty meaningless sex. I will be posting my tits for you tomorrow maybe that will help you decide.
ReplyDeleteYou could have at least put the Elfin shorts on
ReplyDeleteThey don't stretch the full length of her.
ReplyDeleteWell maybe after Steve's arse has been in them they will.
Maidy: I’m sure Piggy can persuade Geo to take a few pics for us.
ReplyDeleteAwa: *waits for bitch-slapping to begin*
SID: Keep your filthy mitts off those. You put a ladder in the last pair.
Or do you want to wear them this time?
Knudsen: Don’t play with fire if you don’t want to get burned.
You're standing dangerously close to the flame.
Frobi: England’s laziest postie has yet to pop the elf shorts in the post to me.
SID: Steve’s arse AND your arse.
Gawgeous like butta, that coat is!
ReplyDeleteYou well........not so much.
I thought you'd be taller.
ReplyDeleteSure it's not Blanche's friend who was after Ken Barlow?
ReplyDeletePru: Reserve your opinion on my beauty until you've seen my best bits. I'll just move my hand out of the way.
ReplyDeleteHE: Those legs go on and on.
Geoff: Blanche's friend popped her clogs so yes, it could be.
Whats that about my arse?
ReplyDeleteMj - you don't look anywhere near as old as Piggy said you were! I' mglad the facial scarring has healed up so well too!
Steve: Piggy said that? That's rich coming from Methuselah himself.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous people: I don't know why you've all turned anon all of a sudden when you had identities yesterday.
I switched to New Blogger overnight so it's prolly something to do with that.
Yep you turned to the darkside known as beta, any comments after will be ok.
ReplyDelete*hits Print then wanders off to the shower for a bit*
ReplyDeleteKnudsen: Ta for this info. I hope you're not expecting anything in return.
ReplyDeleteFuckkit: A cold shower.
Is that a Lady Rolex you are wearing?
ReplyDeleteMutley: Good eye. Yes it is.
ReplyDeleteI see by my Lady Rolex that there's only 15 minutes left in this room so make good use of your time.
Ewww! Gad...
ReplyDeleteWW: Critic.
ReplyDelete