Bitch Fight! Part Deux

(click to enlarge)

American-Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy and I are knackered from yesterday’s knockdown, no-holds-barred catfight.

The bitchfight was, if I may quote Dorset mong Steve, “Fucking clamtastic!”

We’re taking it easy today with a little light slap 'n' tickle session as pictured above.

Please leave a comment or caption on your way out.

Bitch Fight!

The gloves are off!

It's the catfight you've been waiting for.

American-Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy vs Infomaniac Canucklehead MJ

Who’s your money on?

We’ve thrown the rulebook out the window so tell us what you wanna see.

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.

The star of our show this week is everybody’s favourite witch, IDV (Inexplicable DeVice.)

IDV made guest appearances on a few blogs Friday night, after drinking a potent witch’s brew.

Not surprisingly, he was more lucid in his drunken state than when he’s sober.

And thankfully, he explained, at least he didn’t vomit in anyone’s blog. Small mercies.

Pull up a chair as we relive some of the finer bon mots left behind by IDV on Friday night:

Fuck ,! so drunke,!

Shit wzaasht Have i done?

I don;t afucking knoe. Shit amutst try better
dof

crtapQ!

Ignotere athat. Bufggger

Haven'y \\\\i been here?

Oooh hello |SID. I tinka

Fuck!

Oh crap I',m acrap a ttthais FfBastard/

Must do better,. try harder.

Reallu budggger

Vety! Why Am I aso Drunk/?Q!

Shaking. Sleep. Tired. Diidef. IFytird. BAstrad, What in dhtirrst ams I doing?

Kill me

Fuck! I've fUKIONG SOBERED UP! Must go to bed,. Nee dwater. Will go now.

And my personal favourite…

Yes! I lovwe yous (in response to SID’s question, “Do I have to follow you around cleaning up your vomit all night?”)

And speaking of that Stupid Oirish Cunt…

SID (Stupid Irish Daddy) continued to blather on endlessly about who-knows-what, as basically, he’s incoherent. Just continue to humour him by nodding in agreement as he speaks.

And take no notice of this nasty piece of work he created…

Tazzy and Piggy are up to their fiddling and diddling again. This time with the Webcam and Chat features on their blog. If it wasn’t for Convict and Carly, I would still be sitting here trying to figure out how to configure all the settings. Thankfully, Convict and Carly took pity on a thick Canuck and talked me through it. Fucking headache, it was. Stop messing about with your blog! Can I get a witness? Amen.

Awaiting posted her lovely childhood pic …

Which Steve cruelly noted looks like this…

Where is the love in this Blogging world, I ask you?

Can’t we all just get along?

Infomaniac newcomer, Old Knudsen (Old Bitter Balls) continued his hot pursuit of yours truly, pulling out every trick in the book.

• The naked pics (see photo above)

• The Irish charm. (Nice try playing the usually winning Norn Iron card but your Scottish blood cancels out the Irish.)

• The offer of a nice post-coital cuppa tea.

I cannot be swayed, you old bastard.

I refuse to be Knudsened!

That perv Frobi pondered the fate of a trampolinist bummed by a tiger and a hippo that swallowed a circus dwarf . . .

Here comes trouble . . .

American Psycho bitch from hell (looks are deceiving)

Maidy continues to have mood swings. Give her a wide berth. (Insert pregnancy joke here.)

Please tell that lazy-arse husband of yours to update his blog.

Winterpeg’s Within Without went on about sibling rivalry (a brother who photographed WW’s bald spot), wanting Stevie Nicks to “Landslide” on him, and playing Bowman 2 with Homo Escapeons.

HE (Homo Escapeons), when not playing Bowman 2 with WW (see above) dissected the film Borat.

Geoff is looking a little green around the gills these days. Earlier he discussed a BBC drama called Five Days that will probably never see the light of day in Canada. Unless it turns up here 2 years later a la EastEnders.

Betty sang in the bath, chatted about dealing with fuckwits on the phone, and ranted about New Blogger.

Pru celebrated her new celebrity-trashing blog prunella de ville and threw a party. Everyone was invited. It’s not too late so B.Y.O.B.

And finally, give an Infomaniac wild welcome to our newest reader…

Convict

Have a Good Weekend

Photo via [Lady Bunny]

MJ Gets Her Tits Out

You’ve all been so cooperative sending in pics of your pecs.


Ta very much.


But more than a few of you have emailed me saying, “MJ, when are you going to get your tits out of your blouse?”


So, to be fair, I’ll reveal all to you.


It’s the least you deserve.


You may want to mix yourself a stiff one before you behold my bedazzling beauty.


Wait for it . . .








Fall to your knees and worship me, bitches.

SID’s Marvelous Man Boobs

Today’s tantalizing tatas belong to none other than our Stupid Irish Daddy, SID.

It’s all I can do to restrain myself from licking the screen when I gaze upon that manly chest.

I’m feeling faint. I think I may have to lie down.

(insert dreamlike trance music here)

(Snaps fingers) Three, two, one... I’m back in the room.

Where was I?

Oh yes.

Those are some pulchritudinous pectorals, SID!

Obviously the result of a disciplined exercise regime that involves lifting several thousand pints of Guinness to your lips.

Not to mention an all-starch, all-potato diet.

I gotta go. This is all too titillating for me.

Thanks, SID, for emailing this pic to me along with those other personal “artsy” photographs of you.

Carly’s Cleavage

No nipple today but we have a lovely photo of our Carly’s spectacular Double D’s.

That Steve is one lucky bugger, isn’t he?


Attention Infomaniac readers: Email me a pic of your nipples or cleavage if you want them included here amongst the likes of Carly’s gorgeous gazongas, the sublime nipple of Tazzy, and Awaiting's magnificent mammaries. Feel free to go ahead and get yer tits out!

Guess the Nipple

Yesterday we saw, or rather some of you attempted to see, Awaiting’s comely nipple.

The lovely Awa, however, is not the only blogger with beauteous nipplage.

Observe and appreciate . . .






Can you guess which blogger amongst us is attached to the nipple above?

The answer will appear tomorrow in this space.



ANSWER: It’s Tazzy’s nipple!







And we have a winner.

SID guessed correctly but I cruelly, yet with a smile on my face, removed his correct answer from the blog.

Awaiting (she of the comely nipple) is our runner-up for guessing Tazzy or Piggy as she recognized the nightstand and the odor emanating from their room.

Finally, a big thankyou to Tazzy for displaying his gorgeous attributes to us.

And thanks to Piggy for making Tazzy work it for the camera.

Will Post Later Today

Give it back, bitch!


Please do not adjust your set.

Infomaniac will post later today after I get what I asked for.

Blogging Roundup

It’s back! A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.

First up… Kaz.



Spencer Tunick event featuring 1700 naked Tynesiders

Kaz showcased the new Vaseline advert video.

Kaz and MJ discussed the possibility of smearing ourselves in Vaseline, getting bladdered, and showing up naked for the next Spencer Tunick photo shoot.






Holy Mammarambas! Feast your eyes on the nip of Awa!


Awaiting, attempting to break Tazzy and Piggy’s blog redecorating world record, has up and changed her frickin’ template again. So update your links (note to self).

Where was I? Oh yeah. As you can see from the photo above, she’s on again about the infamous ‘nipple’ pic. I say you can see nipple. She says you can’t. I say she should just get her tits out of her blouse and show us her jubblies once and for all and get it over with. Discuss amongst yourselves.





Barry Scott’s Cillit Bangercise Workout


Betty listed the runners up in the Best Keep Fit DVD On The High Street award.





Russell Brand: a thoroughly nice bloke with "wanker" written all over him.


Geoff gushed about his newfound love for Russell Brand.


nota bene: Betty and Geoff of Kent have signed on as the newest members of the Tazzy and Piggy posse. Welcome Kents!





Mad Eye Moody


American-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy shows us the first baby pic of her yet unborn Cyclops, “Mad Eye Moody.”

Geo, by the way, has been confirmed as the father of said Cyclops, proving that he really is Shooting 4 Fun.






Those Yorkshire cunts Tazzy and Piggy, bored with waiting for me to “get my finger out of my muff” and model the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts, posted a pictorial suggestion on how I should pose.

The rest of their postings for the week were taken up by the same old moaning and whining you’ve come to expect from a couple of tired old poofters on the Dales. Well, to be fair, ONE tired old poofter and his virile superhero.

And their template changed yet again but finally, this time, for the better. It’s looking fab, actually. It pains me to say that.




Norn Iron’s biggest cunt

That Irish fuck SID’s been in a foul mood for a week. Ignore him ‘til he lightens up.





Steve pulled himself away from his Xbox 360 long enough to update his blog. But with what? That fucking annoying meme, that’s what. The meme that started out with Awaiting and then reached its tentacles out to Piggy. And now Steve is in its grasp. We are privy to such Stevey gems as…

Essential item you use everyday? “Wet wipes! I have at least one bowel movement a day, at least one. Toilet paper just does not do a thorough job of clearing out the crevice, so wet wipes are a must.”

There’s all manner of other shite on his blog this week too. I can’t explain it. Go see for yourself.

Carly, give him back his Xbox. Now.



That’s it for this week.

If you didn’t make the cut this week, try harder.

Post about your bowel movements or show us some nipple and you’ll get listed on here for sure.



And finally, give an Infomaniac wild welcome to our newest readers…

Old Knudsen of Old Bitter Balls

and

Gorilla Bananas of The Japing Ape.

and

Spikey of oot and aboot.

Caption This, Bitches!

Knickers in the News

Police in Purton perplexed by panties.

Filthy Friday

I did it!!!

Infomaniac remained filth-free for a week!






Never again!

Bring back the filth!!!

On today’s episode of Filthy Friday, we look into the wacky world of auto fellatio.

No, am I not referring to sex with cars…








Want to see the solo-artistry of autofellatio for yourself?

Proceed with NSFW caution, then, and visit Al Eingang.

Ya filthy buncha pervs.

Help Me Clean Up This Blog, Dammit!

This floor could use a good scrubbing…






The floor, I said! My shoes can wait...






NOW you can clean my shoes…






Right. That’s the house done. On to the stables…






And do a PROPER job of it next time!…






Mistress MJ requires help with the housework.

Any volunteers?

Free from Impurities

This place is a tip! Let’s tidy up.



Infomaniac has been busy chucking all the muck under the carpet.

It still feels a little smutty in here, doesn’t it?

What we need are a few good cleaning products.

Let’s see what’s available.


Manly Soap Dispenser…




larger image here.



Cum Clean Cock Washer soap…



Cum Kleen Personal Wipes…

“Get it off after getting off”
*suggests Tazzy and Piggy try using these instead of the curtains*



With products like these, there’s no excuse for filth on this blog anymore.

Dirty Girl Soap

Help is here!

*MJ buys a carton for Infomaniac*

Keepin’ it Clean

As promised, this blog is attempting to remain unsullied until Filthy Friday.

So let’s take a look at Bottom Buddy: a handy personal hygiene device.

Keepin’ it clean!

Squeaky Clean

Day Three and still no filth on this blog.

To celebrate, let’s see how getting clean can be almost as much fun as getting dirty.

Caution: May be considered NSFW by our more sensitive readers. Let’s look in on these fellas having squeaky, clean fun, shall we?

Good Clean Fun

Caption me, cutie. G’won. You know you wanna.


Yay! I’ve done it again!

Another day free from filth.

And since it’s Sunday, it’s only fitting that we engage in some wholesome family activities. For instance, soap carving. Good clean fun.

On your way out the door, feel free to leave a caption for the pic above.

A Day Without Filth

Let’s clean up this blog!


Day One without filth!

Let it be known that Infomaniac is filth-free today.

And I’m confident it will stay that way right through ‘til the next Filthy Friday.

But to erase the trail of slime from previous posts, we’re going to need a heavy-duty cleaning product…

Filthy Friday

Let’s get mucky!


In an effort to stem the rising tide of filth on this blog, Infomaniac will attempt to behave itself throughout the week, until Fridays.

Fridays shall be known from this day forth as “Filthy Friday.”

Right.

So there I was, innocently browsing in search of the lyrics to a Monty Python tune, when lo and behold I came upon (well, not literally) a website so filthy, I just had to link to it.

NSFW! Proceed at your own risk here.

You may wish to listen to the Monty Python tune as you peruse the pictorial to add to your viewing pleasure.

In this case, my Google search was for a song called, “Sit On My Face” but you can see where my search went horribly wrong.

Now, tell us…

What Google searches have led you to rather off-colour, unexpected results?