Sunday, December 02, 2012

Announcing the Winning Kitchen Queen(s)!



Are you ready for the news?

Well, hold onto your hats because we have a five-way tie, Bitches!!!



Five, count ‘em, FIVE Infomaniac Bitches will share the Kitchen Queen crown!

Congratulations to Cookie and his Sweet and Sour Brisket; Normadesmond and his Salted Caramel “Ding Dong” Cake; Kevin (KDNA) and his Poulet au Paprika; Wally and his Peanut Butter Pie; and yes, believe it or not, LX and his Traditional Cranberries!

CONGRATULATIONS, LADIES!

Wait a minute, Bitches. Where do you think you’re going?...



Out of the vehicle, ladies.

Unfortunately, the DINNER OF A LIFETIME grand prize in Sumas, Washington at the home of Ms. First Nations can only be awarded to ONE of you Bitches.

So Mistress MJ hired a consultancy firm to put your names into a computer database and select a winner…



Therefore…

COOKIE’s name was selected from the list of five Kitchen Queens to dine chez Ms. Nations in Sumas, Washington.

AND Cookie will receive a charming handmade “Kitchen Queen” card, written by our Miss Scarlet in her exquisite calligraphy.

CONGRATULATIONS TO COOKIE, NORMA, KEVIN, WALLY and LX!
You’re ALL sharing the Kitchen Queen crown!



Thanks to everyone who voted and participated in the Infomaniac Kitchen Queen Contest!

And thanks to Ms. Nations and Miss Scarlet for providing the prizes!


[via]

And that about wraps it up, Bitches!

48 comments:

  1. Congrats!

    It's just as well I didn't win, 'cos I don't even have a passport. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ooooh, and 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. you expect me to partake in a five-way?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Whew, it's over! Good luck, Cookie on your trip to the fearsome Badlands... Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. these aint badlands, podnuh, these is wetlands. seasonal lakefront has commenced.

      Delete
  5. It really was hard to judge this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and even harder when your drinking, like a fish.

      Delete
  6. I'm perched on top of the SMEG, like a Gargoyle ready to pounce on top of you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow what a cliff hanger! A 5 way split.

    Why can't Ms Nations just throw a few more tomatoes into the sauce and have them all over?

    Congratulations to all the winners!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because it would rip a hole in the space/time continuum and suck us all through to a weird square planet like that one in the Superman comics, only with better looking guys.

      Delete
    2. Oh Ms Nations!... You mean there is another weird square planet? And here I was... thinking we were all alone in the universe.... You sure know lots of shit!

      Delete
  8. congrats to all the winners, sugar! *sigh* i'm still confused about the contest and when it started....
    xoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  9. OH WHAT LUCK Cookie has!!! It must be all the rubbing of that impressive magic stick he has! You know Im quite smitten with the cookie monster. Meanwhile I can't wait to hear all about the dinner! Congrats to all the winners! Now can we finally slice Norma's ding dong cake for a taste?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...damn, I forgot about The Monster. Tell him to pack a separate suitcase for it and make sure to brings it's toys. Or maybe not the toys part. We have a play yard we can set up, though.

      Delete
  10. I take the fifth Silvaner ...

    COngratulations to All Participants!

    Good luck in that saloon Cookie, you'll need it ... is there a bat on the smeg? More wine ...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yeay! Congrats to all you ladies.
    now where's my salty ding dong???

    ReplyDelete
  12. Congrats to Cookie, Norma, Kevin, and Wally! Thank you to all the other contestants! Thanks First Nations, Miss Scarlet, and MJ for bringing this all together!

    I'm changing the name of my dish to "Award-Winning Traditional Cranberries!" Imagine, all the way from a trailer park in Southeast Texas to the big time at Infomaniac in the Great White North!

    ReplyDelete
  13. AND IT'S HI-HO CHEF BOYARDEE when the lucky winner arrives here at rebel freak stronghold RANCHO FIRSTNATIONS! Book a room at the fabulous Sumas Mountain Lodge, or the equally fabulous yet somewhat less kitschy Kale House B-n-B and spend 24, or maybe even 48 hours (that last depending on whether or not you arrive with Schedule 1 party snacks)as an honored guests! Your hosts, FirstNations and The Biker, will blow your mind -nothing else, smartass - with amazing feats of culinary gastronomy type shit and leave you headed for the cardiac ward in a state of blissed out satiety. Congratulations to all the queens! Huzzah!

    ReplyDelete
  14. as an honored guest. Singular. although what the fuck, bring a buddy. Just don't scare the dog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really, that Ms FirstNations is just the Hostesst with the Mostesst.

      Delete
    2. Cookie has a husband and a dog or two in tow.

      Delete
  15. Mazal Tov to all

    **places single chaste kiss one each of Mistress' feet as is proper**

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  16. Congratulations to all!
    Off to studio now to play with Cookie's tittle.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  17. I’d like to know how Ms. Nations is going to keep calm, sitting across the dinner table from Cookie, knowing there’s a monster in his pants.

    By the way, Mr. Peenee is the runner-up so if the five winners, for any reason, cannot fulfill their duties as Kitchen Queens, the 1st runner-up takes over and snatches the crown.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. By the way, Mr. Peenee is the runner-up so if the five winners, for any reason, cannot fulfill their duties as Kitchen Queens, the 1st runner-up takes over and snatches the crown.



      so what else is new.

      Delete
    2. I would like to be under the table feeding it peanuts!

      Delete
    3. I'd be dripping like an egg sandwich!

      Delete
  18. yes, this was marvelous fun!

    the diorama of epicurean splendor
    exceeded even my wildest of dreams!

    "yoo-hoo, food network....here's your next hit show!"

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sigh...always a cheerleader, never the quarterback.

    congrats to my 5-way partners!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me know if you want to be called KDNA from now on or Kevin.

      Or Slut.

      Delete
  20. I really don't know what to say, for once I am at a loss for words. LX's cranberry's should have won, because it is a Universal dish - loved by carnivores, vegetarians and vegan alike.

    I insist on sharing my crown with all of the winners. No, my mind is made up. I shall wear it on Sunday, Norma may wear it on Monday, LX on Tuesday, Kevin on Wednesday, Wally on Thursday, Mistress may wear it on Friday (when she serves us all dinner) and Saturday we give thanks for Mr. Peenee.

    I shall accept it only under those conditions!

    FYI Bitches, I'm working on my desert for The Infomaniac Desert Queen Contest and I shall reign again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. COOKIE: If you Bitches think I'm serving you dinner on Fridays, you can think again!

      And what's this about an Infomaniac Desert Queen Contest?

      A crown goes to the best camel herder?

      Delete
    2. cookie, on a horse with no name.

      Delete
    3. "There were plants and birds. and rocks and THINGS."

      What the hell is wrong with those songwriters?

      THINGS?

      You're LYRICISTS for gawd's sake!

      Delete
    4. DESSERT. My fingers were overcome there for a minute. BTW, check out my blog.

      Delete
    5. COOKIE: Fingers?

      I reckon you use The Monster to type.

      Delete
    6. Desert Contest? I may have a recipe for Dried Cranberries!

      Delete
    7. VON LX: Don't you think there are enough dried fruits on this blog without your dried cranberries?

      Delete
  21. Mistress MJ hired a consultancy firm to put your names into a computer database and select a winner…

    Yeah! Right! Why don't you tell the truth. You wrote the names on unused food stamps then tossed them in an ashtray and picked up the name of the winner.

    God! This place is turning into The Little House On The Prairie Fan Club!! Good thing this contest is over...

    It IS over, eh? Please, tell me it is.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bitch, I’ll have you know I lovingly wrote each contesant’s name out on slips of paper and placed them in one of my Pam Chorley original hats, blindfolded myself, and chose one name. That name was Cookie’s.

      And it’s not over ‘til the fat lady sings.

      Delete
  22. Congrats to all! Though methinks they're sharing more than a crown. Unless, by "crown" you mean "STD".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless, by "crown" you mean "STD".

      Was there every any doubt, Thom?

      Delete