Are you ready for the news?
Well, hold onto your hats because we have a five-way tie, Bitches!!!
Five, count ‘em, FIVE Infomaniac Bitches will share the Kitchen Queen crown!
Congratulations to Cookie and his Sweet and Sour Brisket; Normadesmond and his Salted Caramel “Ding Dong” Cake; Kevin (KDNA) and his Poulet au Paprika; Wally and his Peanut Butter Pie; and yes, believe it or not, LX and his Traditional Cranberries!
CONGRATULATIONS, LADIES!
Wait a minute, Bitches. Where do you think you’re going?...
Out of the vehicle, ladies.
Unfortunately, the DINNER OF A LIFETIME grand prize in Sumas, Washington at the home of Ms. First Nations can only be awarded to ONE of you Bitches.
So Mistress MJ hired a consultancy firm to put your names into a computer database and select a winner…
Therefore…
COOKIE’s name was selected from the list of five Kitchen Queens to dine chez Ms. Nations in Sumas, Washington.
AND Cookie will receive a charming handmade “Kitchen Queen” card, written by our Miss Scarlet in her exquisite calligraphy.
CONGRATULATIONS TO COOKIE, NORMA, KEVIN, WALLY and LX!
You’re ALL sharing the Kitchen Queen crown!
Thanks to everyone who voted and participated in the Infomaniac Kitchen Queen Contest!
And thanks to Ms. Nations and Miss Scarlet for providing the prizes!
[via]
And that about wraps it up, Bitches!
Congrats!
ReplyDeleteIt's just as well I didn't win, 'cos I don't even have a passport. :)
Ooooh, and 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteyou expect me to partake in a five-way?
ReplyDeletegood thing your ding dong services twelve...
Deletei'm with you norma!
DeleteWhew, it's over! Good luck, Cookie on your trip to the fearsome Badlands... Jx
ReplyDeletethese aint badlands, podnuh, these is wetlands. seasonal lakefront has commenced.
DeleteIt really was hard to judge this one.
ReplyDeleteand even harder when your drinking, like a fish.
DeleteI'm perched on top of the SMEG, like a Gargoyle ready to pounce on top of you!
ReplyDeleteWow what a cliff hanger! A 5 way split.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't Ms Nations just throw a few more tomatoes into the sauce and have them all over?
Congratulations to all the winners!
Because it would rip a hole in the space/time continuum and suck us all through to a weird square planet like that one in the Superman comics, only with better looking guys.
DeleteOh Ms Nations!... You mean there is another weird square planet? And here I was... thinking we were all alone in the universe.... You sure know lots of shit!
Deletecongrats to all the winners, sugar! *sigh* i'm still confused about the contest and when it started....
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxox
OH WHAT LUCK Cookie has!!! It must be all the rubbing of that impressive magic stick he has! You know Im quite smitten with the cookie monster. Meanwhile I can't wait to hear all about the dinner! Congrats to all the winners! Now can we finally slice Norma's ding dong cake for a taste?
ReplyDelete...damn, I forgot about The Monster. Tell him to pack a separate suitcase for it and make sure to brings it's toys. Or maybe not the toys part. We have a play yard we can set up, though.
DeleteI take the fifth Silvaner ...
ReplyDeleteCOngratulations to All Participants!
Good luck in that saloon Cookie, you'll need it ... is there a bat on the smeg? More wine ...
Yeay! Congrats to all you ladies.
ReplyDeletenow where's my salty ding dong???
Congrats to Cookie, Norma, Kevin, and Wally! Thank you to all the other contestants! Thanks First Nations, Miss Scarlet, and MJ for bringing this all together!
ReplyDeleteI'm changing the name of my dish to "Award-Winning Traditional Cranberries!" Imagine, all the way from a trailer park in Southeast Texas to the big time at Infomaniac in the Great White North!
LX was robbed! RECOUNT! RECOUNT!
DeleteAND IT'S HI-HO CHEF BOYARDEE when the lucky winner arrives here at rebel freak stronghold RANCHO FIRSTNATIONS! Book a room at the fabulous Sumas Mountain Lodge, or the equally fabulous yet somewhat less kitschy Kale House B-n-B and spend 24, or maybe even 48 hours (that last depending on whether or not you arrive with Schedule 1 party snacks)as an honored guests! Your hosts, FirstNations and The Biker, will blow your mind -nothing else, smartass - with amazing feats of culinary gastronomy type shit and leave you headed for the cardiac ward in a state of blissed out satiety. Congratulations to all the queens! Huzzah!
ReplyDeleteas an honored guest. Singular. although what the fuck, bring a buddy. Just don't scare the dog.
ReplyDeleteReally, that Ms FirstNations is just the Hostesst with the Mostesst.
DeleteCookie has a husband and a dog or two in tow.
DeleteMazal Tov to all
ReplyDelete**places single chaste kiss one each of Mistress' feet as is proper**
Congratulations to all!
ReplyDeleteOff to studio now to play with Cookie's tittle.
Sx
Oh, you are in illustrations too?
DeleteI’d like to know how Ms. Nations is going to keep calm, sitting across the dinner table from Cookie, knowing there’s a monster in his pants.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Mr. Peenee is the runner-up so if the five winners, for any reason, cannot fulfill their duties as Kitchen Queens, the 1st runner-up takes over and snatches the crown.
By the way, Mr. Peenee is the runner-up so if the five winners, for any reason, cannot fulfill their duties as Kitchen Queens, the 1st runner-up takes over and snatches the crown.
Deleteso what else is new.
I would like to be under the table feeding it peanuts!
DeleteI'd be dripping like an egg sandwich!
Deleteyes, this was marvelous fun!
ReplyDeletethe diorama of epicurean splendor
exceeded even my wildest of dreams!
"yoo-hoo, food network....here's your next hit show!"
Sigh...always a cheerleader, never the quarterback.
ReplyDeletecongrats to my 5-way partners!
Let me know if you want to be called KDNA from now on or Kevin.
DeleteOr Slut.
Kevin is just fine!
DeleteOkay, Shirl.
DeleteI really don't know what to say, for once I am at a loss for words. LX's cranberry's should have won, because it is a Universal dish - loved by carnivores, vegetarians and vegan alike.
ReplyDeleteI insist on sharing my crown with all of the winners. No, my mind is made up. I shall wear it on Sunday, Norma may wear it on Monday, LX on Tuesday, Kevin on Wednesday, Wally on Thursday, Mistress may wear it on Friday (when she serves us all dinner) and Saturday we give thanks for Mr. Peenee.
I shall accept it only under those conditions!
FYI Bitches, I'm working on my desert for The Infomaniac Desert Queen Contest and I shall reign again!
COOKIE: If you Bitches think I'm serving you dinner on Fridays, you can think again!
DeleteAnd what's this about an Infomaniac Desert Queen Contest?
A crown goes to the best camel herder?
cookie, on a horse with no name.
Delete"There were plants and birds. and rocks and THINGS."
DeleteWhat the hell is wrong with those songwriters?
THINGS?
You're LYRICISTS for gawd's sake!
DESSERT. My fingers were overcome there for a minute. BTW, check out my blog.
DeleteCOOKIE: Fingers?
DeleteI reckon you use The Monster to type.
Desert Contest? I may have a recipe for Dried Cranberries!
DeleteVON LX: Don't you think there are enough dried fruits on this blog without your dried cranberries?
DeleteMistress MJ hired a consultancy firm to put your names into a computer database and select a winner…
ReplyDeleteYeah! Right! Why don't you tell the truth. You wrote the names on unused food stamps then tossed them in an ashtray and picked up the name of the winner.
God! This place is turning into The Little House On The Prairie Fan Club!! Good thing this contest is over...
It IS over, eh? Please, tell me it is.....
Bitch, I’ll have you know I lovingly wrote each contesant’s name out on slips of paper and placed them in one of my Pam Chorley original hats, blindfolded myself, and chose one name. That name was Cookie’s.
DeleteAnd it’s not over ‘til the fat lady sings.
Congrats to all! Though methinks they're sharing more than a crown. Unless, by "crown" you mean "STD".
ReplyDeleteUnless, by "crown" you mean "STD".
DeleteWas there every any doubt, Thom?