No, LX, you did NOT win because Show and Tell Day is an event, NOT a competition.
Head Mistress MJ asks that her pupils submit their show and tell photos by THE END OF MARCH.
Take a photo of ANYTHING in your house that you’d like to show the rest of us and be sure to include a description to tell us about it.
Now sit down and shut up and get to work.
Well, may I go to the restroom then?
ReplyDeletethis bitch'll never give you a hall pass.
ReplyDeleteNORMA: But I’ll give you a HELL pass.
DeleteGo there directly!
first things first - kabuki is going to the bathroom right now
ReplyDeleteKabuki: Get back here, young lady!
DeleteGod, didn't you hate the little goodie goodie who sat in the front row and waved their hand in the air? The one who always knew the answer? The one who always took charge of every school project, playground game and girl scout meeting? Oh wait, that was me. Hey someone has to rally the blithering masses. Now we have MJ.
ReplyDeleteKELLY RED: Mistress MJ was always the goodie goodie with her hand up who knew the answer.
DeleteAnd, wait for it…when I was done my assignments, I would ask for MORE HOMEWORK!
Go for it, haters.
And now her hand is up something else!
Delete"Mistress MJ was always the goodie goodie with her hand up who knew the answer..."
ReplyDeleteI new there was something, Judi Hensler, from Leave it to Beaver about you. Maybe even a little, Margaret, from Dennis the Menace too.
Yeah. I'm beginning to suspect that the "M" in MJ is for Margaret.
Delete*Knew*
ReplyDeleteBacks up after Head Mistress smacks hand with ruler.
See... you should have let me use my hand on little pirate ayeM8y....
DeleteBITCHES: Despite my over-achieving nature, I was a popular and cheerful little gal and not at all annoying like the Margaret and Judi characters mentioned by AyeM8y.
ReplyDeleteI shall also have you know that I was top of my class all throughout elementary school although occasionally I tied for first place with a couple of boys…one of whom is still my friend and lives nearby!
Not only that but I wrote, directed, narrated and STARRED in a number of school plays.
But Thombeau makes a good point when he says “And now her hand is up something else!”
Alas, my scholarly pursuits would suffer once I discovered sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Miss! Miss! Miss!
ReplyDelete*waves hand in the air*
Can I please visit the vodka fountain? I'm thirsty.
And no one's looked up my skirt.
Humpf.
ROSES: Fat chance of anyone looking up your skirt in THIS crowd.
Delete(cough. cough)
DeleteLX: Are you consumptive?
Deleteshe sounds like cristy masters christenson (and her crowd) from romy and michelle's reunion if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteNORMA: I have never seen this movie of which you speak but I've read the review and all I can say is that I invented the Internet.
Deletep.s. I won all the spelling bees too.
DeleteIf it makes you feel better, I can't do math to save my life.
listen to eugene o'neill...not only did she write the plays & star in them, she probably built the sets, sewed the costumes & worked the lights.
ReplyDeleteof course, she invented the
internet during intermission.
(watch that movie, it's cute.)
NORMA: My earliest works were modeled after Gilbert and Sullivan.
DeleteWhile it’s true that I wrote, directed, narrated and STARRED in a number of school plays, I have no technical skills and could not build the sets, sew the costumes or work the lights.
I did, however, excel at finding props.
Was The Mistress influenced by the works of Wayne and Shuster?
DeleteHa! No...more influenced by SCTV than Wayne & Shuster.
DeleteDid I win?
ReplyDeletePEENEE: Detention!!!
DeleteMiss? Miss? Someone just dipped my pigtails in the ink well. *Shakes head and sprays ink all over classmates and headmistress MJ* Seeeee!
ReplyDeleteFrom Head Mistress MJ's school record and memoirs it sounds like you were a bit of a "Brainiac"...
ReplyDeletePerhaps re-titling of your blog is in order?
PRINCESS: Had I not addled my mind with drugs and alcohol during my misspent youth, “Brainiac” would have been an excellent blog name.
DeleteInstead we have “Infomaniac” which reflects my love of knowledge despite my ineptitude in retaining it or putting it to use for the greater good of society.
Misstress MJ Dawn Davenport is eating a meatball sandwich right out in class and she's been passing notes!
ReplyDeleteNo cha cha Heels but take a look here
MITZI: I thought we were friends until I clicked on that link.
DeleteI spelt Mistress incorrectly!
ReplyDeleteMITZI: Write it one hundred times on the board!
DeleteThere's a cheap MJ fraudster in Vegas ... "Though the crew are all clad in designer outfits and drinking expensive alcohol, MJ just can't control herself."
ReplyDeleteMAGO: She must be stopped.
DeleteInfomaniac: A general know-it-all.
ReplyDeleteUrban Dictionary
"...not to be confused with a nymphomaniac, an infomaniac is a person who thrives and exists based on his knowledge of facts (usually useless ones), much like a nymphomaniac relies on sex."
DeleteNo matter the definition, the important thing is that MJ is our Infomaniac!
DeleteOh, THANK YOU!
DeleteBut save your flattery for my Friday, March 23rd post, LX.