Monday, January 04, 2010

Introducing Kabuki Zero

We love introducing new talent here at Infomaniac and today we are pleased to present the new bitch on the block … Kabuki Zero! …




Despite his upstanding moral character, Kabuki missed out on the title of Miss Virginia thus failing to represent his State in the Miss America Pageant.

But without a doubt, Miss Kabuki belongs in Infomaniac’s beauty pageant featuring a gallery of the most Alluring Arses.

See for yourself! …



Kabuki’s heavenly heiny


The first of you bitches to use the term all fur coat and no knickers will be punished.

Click here to visit Kabuki Zero.

Note #1: When Mistress MJ opened her email on New Year’s Day, Kabuki’s arse was the first photograph of the year that she saw. We hope Kabuki’s arse sets the tone around here for the rest of the decade.

Note #2: We wish to thank the fabulous Felix of Hollywood for introducing us to his friend Kabuki Zero.

48 comments:

  1. Hai, first!
    Oh Okuni, time changed ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mistress, if I use the term "all hat, no cattle" will I be punished?

    Oh Hai Mago!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Hai, Mago!

    Oh Hai, XL!

    Why is it we only ever get the rear view of Infomaniac's bitches? A little frontage would go a long way. Is that such a tall order to request???

    ReplyDelete
  4. 4th? again? dam. xoxoxo

    Oh Hai, Mago!

    Oh Hai, xl!

    Oh Hai, Ponita!

    ReplyDelete
  5. how about all that meat and no potatoes?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Hai, Savannah!

    Let's see some man vegetables... young ones, not that old withered shite that so frequently pops up here...

    ReplyDelete
  7. MAGO: Hai, first!
    Oh Okuni, time changed ...


    Noh noh noh.

    XL: Mistress, if I use the term "all hat, no cattle" will I be punished?

    Not if you snap to it and fluff my pillows.

    You’re not on vacation anymore, you know.

    PONITA: Why is it we only ever get the rear view of Infomaniac's bitches? A little frontage would go a long way. Is that such a tall order to request???

    Mistress MJ has the “frontage” photos of many of her bitches in her personal photo folders.

    They are for Mistress MJ’s eyes only in accordance with their wishes.

    SAVANNAH: how about all that meat and no potatoes?

    We’ll see what Kabuki has to say about that.

    PONITA: Let's see some man vegetables... young ones, not that old withered shite that so frequently pops up here...

    See my response to you earlier.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I just wanna know if the carpet matches the drapes. I don't need a photo; anecdotal accounts will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  9. fine, that was redundant.

    still wanna know.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Mistress,

    What a very alluring arse!

    Princess is still awaiting the services of the "Royal Snapper".

    He tells me that he has had to commission a "Super Wide-angle Lens" (what ever that means) before he can proceed with the portaiture of my delicious derrierre!

    Though he then mumbled something about it probably having to be in "Landscape" format.

    Unfortunately, Princess struggles with such tachnical terminology.

    I appologise for my tardyness in supplying you with a photograph but, as you can see, things are, at present, out of my control!

    I am looking forward to getting to know your newst bitch however!

    Luv Princess XXX

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh my! And I thought you didn't condone killing animals for fashion.

    It looks very nice to me, but next time, stage it on a bear skin rug perhaps?

    ReplyDelete
  12. That's absolutely disgusting you know. The pink wig clashes horribly with the fur coat.
    I'm going to get my Vutwamini Maidens and set them upon all the people with no style...on second thoughts they might have their work cut out...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Worse things happen at sea....
    Or so we are told

    ReplyDelete
  14. Blimey! I thought Frobisher had been let loose on the make-up counter in Boots the chemist again.

    ReplyDelete
  15. There is nothing hotter than a homocidal kabuki drag in a faux fur and hooker wig.

    "It put's the pancake on it's skin........"

    ReplyDelete
  16. He needs to get waxing... but can I borrow the wig... and the coat?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Is Kabuki going to take over from Manuel now?

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm more interested in where Kabuki got the fur coat from. I shan't be waxing - it's too cold for that!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Looks like a refugee from RuPaul's Drag Race!

    btw - I heard that IDV!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Nice arse..

    or hideous hiney??

    Works either way!

    ReplyDelete
  21. NATIONS: I just wanna know if the carpet matches the drapes. I don't need a photo; anecdotal accounts will be fine.
    fine, that was redundant.
    still wanna know.


    Lady Gaga’s pink merkin was fashioned after Kabuki’s pubic hair.

    PRINCESS: Dear Mistress,
    What a very alluring arse!
    Princess is still awaiting the services of the "Royal Snapper".
    He tells me that he has had to commission a "Super Wide-angle Lens" (what ever that means) before he can proceed with the portaiture of my delicious derrierre!
    Though he then mumbled something about it probably having to be in "Landscape" format.
    Unfortunately, Princess struggles with such tachnical terminology.
    I appologise for my tardyness in supplying you with a photograph but, as you can see, things are, at present, out of my control!
    I am looking forward to getting to know your newst bitch however!
    Luv Princess XXX


    Tell your “Royal Snapper” to make it snappy.

    CYBERPOOF: oh my! And I thought you didn't condone killing animals for fashion.
    It looks very nice to me, but next time, stage it on a bear skin rug perhaps?


    Mistress MJ would like to do a photo shoot with Kabuki similar to this one that Madonna did with her boy toy Jesus Luz for W Magazine.

    We just need a handsome volunteer from our audience to join her.

    LEODMAEG: That's absolutely disgusting you know. The pink wig clashes horribly with the fur coat.
    I'm going to get my Vutwamini Maidens and set them upon all the people with no style...on second thoughts they might have their work cut out...


    Oh really. And what are you wearing?

    BEAST: Worse things happen at sea....
    Or so we are told


    Have ya ever bin ta sea, Beastie?

    IVD: Blimey! I thought Frobisher had been let loose on the make-up counter in Boots the chemist again.

    He heard that.

    DAMIEN: There is nothing hotter than a homocidal kabuki drag in a faux fur and hooker wig.
    "It put's the pancake on it's skin........"


    Now that Kabuki is here, your reign as Mr. Nude Infomaniac could be in peril.

    SCARLET: He needs to get waxing... but can I borrow the wig... and the coat?

    You’ll have to ask Kabuki yourself.

    KAZ: Is Kabuki going to take over from Manuel now?

    Kabuki would have to up his testosterone intake to catch up to the hairy-arsed vision that is our Manuel.

    ISTVANSKI: I'm more interested in where Kabuki got the fur coat from. I shan't be waxing - it's too cold for that!

    Ahem. Mistress MJ is still waiting for YOUR arse pic.

    FROBI: Looks like a refugee from RuPaul's Drag Race!
    btw - I heard that IDV!


    Excuse me your Royal Frumpiness!

    Everyone please click on this photo and take a good look at the “lady” on the left.

    We think it’s time YOU had a makeover.

    You’re starting to look like Mavis Wilton.

    CANDY: Nice arse..
    or hideous hiney??
    Works either way!


    “Heavenly” heiny!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Nothing would be finer
    than to win the Miss Virgina
    is he mour-ning?

    Since "all hat and no cattle" has already been in play I have nothing...no really!

    Welcome aboard Kabuki Zero, this is the place to be because none of MJ's bitches can be shocked..
    we have all been totally desensitized by an endless barrage of calorically challenged ancient men all well past their best before date marble gargling octogenarian boners.
    The horror
    the horror

    ReplyDelete
  23. If Madonna needs the names of her boy toys tattooed on their backs - why not mirror-inverted?

    ReplyDelete
  24. DONN: Nothing would be finer
    than to win the Miss Virgina
    is he mour-ning?
    Since "all hat and no cattle" has already been in play I have nothing...no really!
    Welcome aboard Kabuki Zero, this is the place to be because none of MJ's bitches can be shocked..
    we have all been totally desensitized by an endless barrage of calorically challenged ancient men all well past their best before date marble gargling octogenarian boners.
    The horror
    the horror


    Not to mention the shock of seeing Donn’s dong.

    MAGO: If Madonna needs the names of her boy toys tattooed on their backs - why not mirror-inverted?

    Is that what you did with my name, Mago?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Welcome to the asylum Kabuki Zero! Nice arse!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Today I am mostly wearing Y-fronts, string vest, and a furry slipper which I found and enables me to give each of my feet a turn at keeping warm.

    ReplyDelete
  27. [listlessly fluffs pillows, weeps]

    This first day back at work is ... so ... difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  28. RANDOM: Welcome to the asylum Kabuki Zero! Nice arse!

    The look on your face says it all!

    LEODMAEG: Today I am mostly wearing Y-fronts, string vest, and a furry slipper which I found and enables me to give each of my feet a turn at keeping warm.

    Sing along…

    You’re just too good to be true
    Can’t take my eyes off of you

    XL: [listlessly fluffs pillows, weeps]
    This first day back at work is ... so ... difficult.


    You know how Mistress MJ feels about bodily fluids being deposited here.

    Didn’t you bring a tissue?

    ReplyDelete
  29. It's not too late to turn back! You can still escape the depavity! But you must turn away now!

    What? Oh, you thought I was talking to Kabuki.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I ... wrote it on the walls, LM.

    ReplyDelete
  31. KAPI: It's not too late to turn back! You can still escape the depavity! But you must turn away now!
    What? Oh, you thought I was talking to Kabuki.


    I’m just surprised that you didn’t come over here to chat up Kabuki.

    It’s common knowledge that you like fresh blood.

    MAGO: I ... wrote it on the walls, LM.

    I thought you would have it tattooed somewhere on your body.

    ReplyDelete
  32. It won't be me as I refuse to get down with Madge (or vadge if you will)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Go on Ptra you would love to have those wrinkly old thighs wrapped around you neck :-)

    ReplyDelete
  34. *laughs at Beast*

    *waits for CyberPoof to show up and lay bitch-slapping on Beast*

    ReplyDelete
  35. I need to lay down now.

    Someone fetch me a cold compress and a glass of Champagne!

    And a silver candlestick I can throw at or beat Beastie with. Repeatedly.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Good morning children,
    Words alone cannot express my joy of discovering I was MJ's monday IT boy. Having sold off all my guns (bad idea), pistol whipping is postponed indefinitely. That being said, I welcome you all with open arms and trembling lips. And as for you filthy, dirty, nasty haters please take note. It has been scientifically proven that my size 8 foot will fit your jealous ass to a tee. kisses - kabuki

    ReplyDelete
  37. CYBERPOOF: I need to lay down now.
    Someone fetch me a cold compress and a glass of Champagne!
    And a silver candlestick I can throw at or beat Beastie with. Repeatedly.


    Would you mind hosing Beast down while you’re at it?

    And Febreezing the general area around him?

    KABUKI: Good morning children,
    Words alone cannot express my joy of discovering I was MJ's monday IT boy. Having sold off all my guns (bad idea), pistol whipping is postponed indefinitely. That being said, I welcome you all with open arms and trembling lips. And as for you filthy, dirty, nasty haters please take note. It has been scientifically proven that my size 8 foot will fit your jealous ass to a tee. kisses - kabuki


    *brandishes cat-o-nine-tails and places it in Kabuki’s capable hands*

    Whip them, baby. Whip them good.

    I love I love I love my calendar boy
    Each and every day of the week.

    ReplyDelete
  38. No thank you MJ. I don't do manual labour. You know this

    *has diva tantrum*

    I was thinking our new posterboy was boasting a bit much with his 8 foot will..... Maybe I read that wrong. Heh.

    ReplyDelete
  39. You'll be waiting for quite se time for that pic. There aren't enough wax strips in Croydon for a smooth arse pic pose.

    ReplyDelete
  40. CYBERPOOF: No thank you MJ. I don't do manual labour. You know this
    *has diva tantrum*
    I was thinking our new posterboy was boasting a bit much with his 8 foot will..... Maybe I read that wrong. Heh.


    *stuffs champagne cork into CyberPoof’s gob*

    ISTVANSKI: You'll be waiting for quite se time for that pic. There aren't enough wax strips in Croydon for a smooth arse pic pose.

    Maybe I like ‘em big and hairy.

    *casts fond glance at Manuel’s arse*

    ReplyDelete
  41. I knew you'd break eventually and I'd finally win your heart.

    MJ said: *stuffs champagne cork into CyberPoof’s gob*

    Don't let her Cyberpoof! Have you any idea who she'd stuffed it in first? Ewww!

    ReplyDelete
  42. LEODMAEG: I knew you'd break eventually and I'd finally win your heart.
    MJ said: *stuffs champagne cork into CyberPoof’s gob*
    Don't let her Cyberpoof! Have you any idea who she'd stuffed it in first? Ewww!


    Mistress MJ is pressed for time and must move on.

    I shall deal with you and your delusional romantic fantasies later.

    ReplyDelete
  43. **We hope Kabuki's arse sets the tone around here for the rest of the decade**

    I wouldn't be too concerned MJ, that ass has set the tone around so many places...for so many decades.

    I say these things because I love him so much.

    ReplyDelete
  44. FELIX: **We hope Kabuki's arse sets the tone around here for the rest of the decade**
    I wouldn't be too concerned MJ, that ass has set the tone around so many places...for so many decades.
    I say these things because I love him so much.


    We had hoped to feature your arse side-by-side with Kabuki’s but we’re still waiting for a photo.

    Perhaps you didn’t get my email message?

    As for Kabuki, what’s not to love?

    I count myself lucky to have found the pair of you.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Well, Santa certainly got more than cookies when he visited that house! He got dinner and a show!

    ReplyDelete
  46. EROS: Well, Santa certainly got more than cookies when he visited that house! He got dinner and a show!

    We’re certain Kabuki was channeling Eartha Kitt singing ‘Santa Baby’.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Oh no Mistress, I did get your email, just still mulling the proposition over. Meantime, as you've read, Kabuki and I are so similar, just look at his picture and picture me. Subsituting, of course, the fur for a simple gingham jumper.

    ReplyDelete
  48. FELIX: Oh no Mistress, I did get your email, just still mulling the proposition over. Meantime, as you've read, Kabuki and I are so similar, just look at his picture and picture me. Subsituting, of course, the fur for a simple gingham jumper.

    Are you shy?

    Surely your arse couldn’t be less attractive than Piggy’s arse so off with that gingham jumper, sweetheart! We’re waiting!

    ReplyDelete