It’s a tiebreaker, bitches!
Beast and Miss Scarlet have tied in the Pissing Contest and now they must battle it out in a no holds barred smackdown!
This promises to be the bitchfight of the year, ladies and gentlemen!
Even bigger than the High Maintenance Queen Competition!
Who will take home the Pee Book?
Place your bets now for Infomaniac’s Pissing Contest winner.
Who is your money riding on?
Note: All rules are out the window!!!
Mistress MJ doesn’t care who wins and how they win it as long as there is a champion by day’s end.
Are you ready to rumble?
no, but I'm ready to be,
ReplyDeleteFIRSTY!!!!!
OK, that's not very nice.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I do?
Yes, what do we do? How do Beast and Singorina Scarlatto battle it out?
ReplyDeletei don't care who wins either, i just want them to piss in a cup...simultaneously.
ReplyDeleteIt can't possibly be bigger than the high maintence smackdown! Not by a long shot. This'll end up a weak tea at best. Mark my words.
ReplyDeleteI vote for miss Scarlet and her soggy tights.
Flinging bags of pee at Frobi is not even remotely funny (oh maybe a little..). Bless him.
Oh is that it Pete? We all have to vote again but only Beast or MisS carlet? *sigh* Here we go in determining a winner, for the third time!
ReplyDeleteI vote for Beast. His comments in the original post were the be(a)st.
Miss Scarlet! It's not so much that I'm biased, it's that I am hoping for some sort of kickback for my vote.
ReplyDeleteOh Hai Boxer, Pete!
I must vote for Beast, too. It wouldn't be the done thing to suddenly go back on one's first choice.
ReplyDelete*sashayng into room with specimen jar and placing it delicately upon the mantlepiece*
ReplyDeleteMiss Scarlet,Mr Beast, my vote will go to whom ever is able to fill this...
*points to receptical*
From a standing position!
No tight or peebag throwing!
Oh, Hi Pete,Xl,and Miss Boxer
I vote for Miss Scarlet once again , the sorry sight of a sobbing Miss Scarlet , mascara all over the place , soggy tight gusset drooping between her knees. The cloud of flies ,waft of warm urine and terrible chafing is just too much to bear :-(
ReplyDeleteI vote for Ms Scarlet. Still.
ReplyDeleteSoggy tights, still wrong on so many levels.
See - even Mr Beastie says I should have it!
ReplyDelete...and I know who 'Mob' is. I will trade secrets for votes. I am easy.
Sx
*attempts to climb the Princess mantlepiece* ?
ReplyDeleteSx
I vote for Miss Scarlet. I have spoken.
ReplyDeleteGx
Actually, if Mob was in the running I would have voted for him as his reason was far more reasonable (and entertaining) for wanting it, even though he didn't want it.
ReplyDeleteBut in the absence of that my vote therefore goes to Beast.
I must concur, and also share some of my Zulu wisdom with you:
ReplyDeleteNever forget uNkosazana Ububomvu (Miss Scarlet in Zulu), darkness conceals the hippopotamus.
Every stream has its source and you cannot cross a river without getting wet. But, no dew ever competed with the sun.
The following might assist with your attempts to stay dry:
http://www.blogitecture.net/?p=1
My vote goes to the mighty Beast!
***blows raspberry*** but in a pretty pouty way befitting of someone who wears velveteen sling-backs and clic-clacks delicately over the cobbles.
ReplyDeleteMr Beastie wears CROCS!!!!! and shuffles.
Sx
BEAST !
ReplyDeleteOh Miss Scarlet, the mental vision of you wearing velveteen sling-backs and tights sent me into a euphoric stupor for a few minutes and almost swayed me. But I remembered that the carnal appetite is only temporal and I must maintain my loyalty to the brotherhood.
ReplyDeleteMy vote goes to Beast.
**PFFFFTTTTT**
ReplyDeleteMr Beastie may know what to do with a bunch of bananas, but I've got a luvverly pair of coconuts...
In fact we could start up a grocery stall together...
Sx
If he does then he's a luckier man than I.
ReplyDeleteCocoanuts?
ReplyDeleteMuch as I love and admire Mr Beastie - it must be Miss Scarlet. I'm hoping she'll solve her problem and pass the solution on to me.
ReplyDelete*princess enters room with Mothers Abacus*
ReplyDeleteI am retiring to my boudior,
Based on my current calculations... the current score seems to be
Miss Scarlet..6 in the affirmative
Mr Beast.. 7 in the affirmative
This "Smack Down" could go on for days at this rate.
I need some sleep
Goodnight all! I'll check back in tomorrow
*spins and sashays from room, yawning but waving politely*
Good luck Miss Sx
Hmmm. Princess clearly got her figures wrong, at this stage.
ReplyDeleteIt is currently:
MisS carlet - 7
Beast - 6
Which means that her assessments of situations are not reliable as she doesn't pay attention.
Which means that her calculations with regard who the book should belong to are clearly unreliable.
Which means that her support for MisS carlet cannot really be trusted to be an accurate and reliable assessment.
Which means following on from this logic that the book should go to Beast.
I am in talks with a film producer from Elstree. He is keen on making the book into a film, with me, of course, as the glamorous yet slighty vulnerable star. A Tena pantie pad may feature.
ReplyDeleteSx
I forgot to vote - Beast to win! Beast to win!
ReplyDelete(I forgot to buy him a Christmas pressie)
***lobs velveteen sling-back at Mr Frobi***
ReplyDeleteSx
Oh ya! *snort* What a wizard wheeze! *snort snort*
ReplyDeleteOf course my vote goes to Beast. Old Boy thing and all that.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteYeeeesssss.
I think I'll vote for Beast.
Oooops!!!
ReplyDeleteClearly logged onto the wrong website here!
But whilst we're about my good lady and I will cast our votes for Beast!
Well considering that Beast used to be my student (anyone remember Karate Kid 4?) I will vote for my honourable friend Beast!
ReplyDeleteHai!
SCARLET
ReplyDeleteOh baby...*purrs*
ReplyDeleteSeeing as he taught me so much then the least I can do is vote for...BEAST!
As a strong vibrant woman I know how important it is to keep fresh and dry, so Miss Scarlet here is a picture of me showing you just how...
ReplyDelete-> -> ->
You don't need the book Miss Scarlet, so therefore my vote goes to the hunky Beast.
I vote for my bestest friend, Mr Beastie! Oops... I mean Miss Scarlet.
ReplyDeleteVxxxx
Seeing as Miss Scarlet wouldn't go on a date with me I am going to vote for Beast!
ReplyDeleteEngllland! WOO WOO WOO WOO!
ReplyDeleteWe in the England squad are huge fans of Beast so we EACH vote for BEAST! And that counts for thirty-two votes!
P.S. We will make it up to you in another way Miss Scarlet.
We vote for Scarlet! The whole of Italy votes for Scarlet Blue. So There!!!
ReplyDeleteReally? The whole of Italy? Funny that, as your profile lists your location as the UK. Plus you need individual votes. Italy as a country counts as one.
ReplyDelete***holds breath; stamps velveteen slippered foot; falls over***
ReplyDeleteSx
BITCHES: Excuse me but whose panties are these and how did they get up on the chandelier?
ReplyDeleteI think they belong to Italy...
ReplyDeleteSx
Beast would only have to sit on her.
ReplyDeleteCompetition over. Nothing could survive that.
Excuse me...where is the bathroom? I have to pee.
ReplyDeleteI vote for Beast because his name says it all.
***looks vaguely embarrased***
ReplyDeleteGood luck with sorting this mess out Miss MJ . Its all getting a bit confusing with National Sports teams and Nations piling into the fray.....I am a little dissapionted in Italy ,but I shouldn't be surprised after the last war fiasco
Did Random just pee down my leg
I'm fully behind Beast!
ReplyDeleteWhat's all this then?
ReplyDeleteIn loo of my initial compulsion to let a fellow creature saddled with a wenis win something for a bloody change...
I suspect that the honourable Beast has not yet been trained to "sit" whilst having a wee.
Therefore, based solely on ergonomics, acceptable current hygenic decorum, and my inalterable germaphobic tendencies, my conscience demands that I vote for Scarls.
Oh bollocks I got the link thingy for the second one wrong. Never mind. Here is a proper clicky for it although you know what the title is now:
ReplyDeleteAmazon
Donnwizn...Donnwizzn2...I give up! What the bloody hell is that name Donn?
ReplyDeleteBut I am astonished that you would vote as you did, and for the reasons you gave as well. Have you been ultra feminised? For shame. Canadian men everywhere must be crying into their beer and stuff.
But it's HAMMER TIME!
THE HAMMER votes for Beast.
Pardon me for intruding (intrude - thrust oneself in as if by force; an intrusion is a body of igneous rock that has crystallized from molten magma below the surface of the Earth; projecting inward.) as the actress said to the bishop, but hanging around here I have noticed several mistakes that Miss Scarlet (bright red; redder than usual; a metalcore band from Richmond, Virginia currently on a long term hiatus.) made:
ReplyDeleteIn admitting to Mistress MJ (Symbol for the millijoule; slang for cannabis; major alarm classification.) that the pair of panties (close-fitting underpants worn by women or girls; Panties (in the USA and Canada) or knickers or pants (in the UK and Commonwealth); A general term for women's undergarments. Panties come in a variety of styles but are specific to coverage of the female region.) belonged to Italy she clearly showed that Italy is the name of one person, rather than one country as was seen to be implied.
This clearly and strongly supports Mobs contention that the vote from Italy can only be regarded as one vote.
I thank you, and this was Anal Retentive ( Orderly, punctual, obsessed with detail; Constipated; In need of laxatives.)
Oh yes I forgot to add. I vote for Beast.
ReplyDeleteOh bollocks to it. I vote for Mr Beastie and so does Italy.
ReplyDeleteI have a chocolate muffin with my name on it to scoff and re-runs of Miss Marple to watch on the telly.
Sx
...anyhow, bugger the soggy tights... I like hold-ups with fluffy pink garters...
...not that I'm sulking or anything...
...going now...
...gone [ish]...
I think it was Anal Retentive that did it. Ewwwww! People everywhere are now trying to hold their stomachs down.
ReplyDeleteAre we heading for a contested election like Florida in 2000?
ReplyDeleteWhy are we assuming Miss Scarlet does not pee her tights on purpose! A female of the most feminine and beguiling ladyness such as 'Miss Scarlet' could easily resort to such decadent behaviour. To gain favour. This reeks of a weaker sex conspiracy. I for one shall never pee my tights again. My way of saying GO BEAST! The menfolk need to join forces, and keep the womens out of the hooch, because thats what makes them pee. BEAST BEAST BEAST
ReplyDelete***settles back on chaise longue to watch Miss Marple and sips an Absinthe Sour***
ReplyDeleteSx
[fluffs Miss Scarlet's pillows, hoping The Mistress doesn't notice]
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Mr XL, I have cleaned and dusted the Infomaniac manor. I know who's boss... and I know who has the final vote... Oh... and I made cake and burnt a pile of crocs.
ReplyDeleteSx
It may just work Miss Scarlet
ReplyDeleteI am also working on a special cocktail recipe for the Mistress... and I will also lend her my aromatherapy footspa.
ReplyDeleteSx
And of course, let's not forget the people that voted yesterday who didn't realise they'd have to vote again.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen so many comments on this blog - well perhaps once when MJ was spammed by Chinese viagra salespeoples!
ReplyDeleteI think Scarlet should have a runner-up prize!
does anyone else think that we really don't need Mj to run this blog????:-)
***Gasp***
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he does that a lot.
ReplyDeleteAlthough not as much as his punters do.
Or the customers at Cafe C.
Scarlet otherwise she might have a pissyfit.
ReplyDeleteI vote for Ms. Scarlett *hones knife on unfeasably tall shoes*
ReplyDeleteCan't anyone see the woman needs a manual (which is similar to but spelled differently than 'Manuel' of scary upholstery, hairy butted irish waiter fame) at hand to review the basics? Ms. Scarlett for the Pee Book to win!!!
ReplyDeleteToo late guys she gave up,lol.
ReplyDeleteClearly there are some irregularities in the voting process! I question the legality of some of these votes!!!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! It's like the Presidential election all over again!!!
And just to make things even more confusing and thrilling, I'm voting for Scarlet, because I've never seen anyone campaign so hard for a prize!!!
This might go to the Supreme Court!!! Who will be our final judges???
Seems no one can read, lol.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are no irregularities in the voting. Mistress MJ said:
ReplyDelete"Note: All rules are out the window!!!
Mistress MJ doesn’t care who wins and how they win it as long as there is a champion by day’s end."
Ha! I was making a joke that referenced XL's comment about the contested Florida election of 2000. We weren't sure who was going to be President!
ReplyDeleteVoting irregularities and the Supreme Court were involved in choosing the next US President.
This whole voting excitement made me laugh and think about that heated, contested election.
Good Morning all!
ReplyDeleteHave I missed anything? I have been busy researching the proprties if tight wearing whilst attempting to pee and Peebag throwing.
I see that tere is still no winner Oh and the panties look like they might be slightly moist!
I recall Italy as being an incontintant...
Mr. Frobisher said, “does anyone else think that we really don't need Mj to run this blog????:-)”
ReplyDeleteMistress MJ is not amused.
The rest of you get ready for a new post to announce the winner.
And I thought the aromatherapy footspa was a winner...
ReplyDeleteSx