Happy Birthday, Ayem8y!

You might not recognize his face …



But surely you recognize his beautiful backside! …



And perhaps some of his other bits …



Yes, it’s Ayem8y’s birthday (aka Mean Dirty Pirate)!

Today he’s turning tricks celebrating his birthday at Disney World in Florida.

Oh, and if you aren’t already familiar with this Infomaniac bitch, let his own words fill you in …

“Hello my name is ayem8y aka Mean Dirty Pirate. I’m an Aquarius, I like trannies and collecting dildos and leather fetish whips. I’m a zookeeper that conducts safaris in the deepest reaches of the Dark Continent. But in my spare time I enjoy rolling around and licking trash at truck stops. (Really) I’m 45, single, salt-n-pepper, blue eyes, 42” chest, 32” waist, tan, with a thick 8” penis that needs lots of attention but what I really like is taking strange men into my anus. Sometimes single and yes I have had long term relationships. I’m looking for Mr. Right and sometimes Mr. Right Now!”




Oh, and Ayem8y is pronounced EYE-mate-ee … like the pirates say. Geddit? Mean Dirty Pirate…Ayem8y?


Update: Just checked Ayem8y’s blog and he reports, “I am horny.”

Fast, Loose and Lovely

Here at Infomaniac you know them as Felix In Hollywood and kabuki zero …


[via]

But around town, all the men know them as …

Filthy Friday – Superheroes Edition

(click pic to enlarge)
[via]


The Batphone rings, interrupting our heroes ...


Holy bootycall! To the Batpole, Robin!




What's up next for our Dynamic Duo?

Rumours!

By now you’ve all met the lovely kabuki zero …



But did you know he’s been spreading rumours?

Click here to see if you’re mentioned!

Especially if your name is Felix, IVD, Normadesmond, My Name Is Mob, Beast, Donn, Random Chick, Damien Oz or CyberPete.

And apparently there is “more to follow” though I can’t imagine what other dirt kabuki can scrape off his size 13s, can you?

Public Service Announcement #3

[via]

Do not urinate on powerlines.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

I Dream of Bloggers

If you were following the comments from yesterday’s post, you know that I had a dream about our witchy little friend from Norfolk, England: IVD (Inexplicable DeVice).


Won't you join me, Mistress MJ? Clicking biggifies me!

In the dream, we were cuddling and (gasp!) … nekkid!

Nothing sexual was going on, thankfully. After all, he is a big poof. Or as Piggy and Tazzy so neatly summed it up …

“Ever heard the phrase 'Friend of Dorothy'? Well, meet Dorothy. As queer as they come. A fully qualified, professional, mincing machine.”

Anyway, I’m just glad that IVD wasn’t making his wretched gurning face as pictured here …



THAT would have been a NIGHTMARE!

This isn’t the first dream I’ve had about IVD.

And come to think of it, I’ve had numerous dreams about various Infomaniac bitches.

Fellow Canadian Donn, for example …



I recall a few cuddling dreams about Donn though the details are sketchy.

However, I remember one dream where each time I clicked on Donn’s blog I heard the theme tune from the Dick Van Dyke Show.

I’ve also dreamed a few times about Tazzy and Piggy but thankfully I’ve forgotten the content. And frankly, I don’t want to know.

And then there’s Ayem8y and Jason. I’ve dreamed about the two of them (together) three times!

Ayem8y responded to my dream by saying, “I assume that I was curling your lashes while Jason painted your toenails.”

Makes perfect sense to me.

And now over to you, bitches.

Have you had dreams about fellow bloggers?

Tell us about it!

Shower Soap

Meanwhile, back at the Infomaniac Gymnasium, Mistress MJ ponders which soap dispenser to install in the showers.

Filthy Friday – Botanical Edition

This week’s Filthy Friday image is courtesy of Ms. Nations, she of the green thumb.

Actual quote from Ms. Nations’ blog: “WORSHIP MY MIND BOGGLING ABILITY TO MAKE PLANTS GROW! MUAHAHAHAHA!”



Yes, Ms. Nations is a goddess of the garden and is the author of the best-selling “Creating a Backyard Paradise: Turn Your Old Toilet or Truck Tires into Decorative Planters”.

Nonetheless, we here at Infomaniac consider this to be a highly unorthodox planter.

Filthy Friday Fundraiser

Thank you for your generous donations.

People like you make it possible for us to continue to post filth on Fridays.



See you tomorrow with another edition of Filthy Friday.

*hightails it outta town with cash*

Money Maker Inspection

It has come to Mistress MJ’s attention that some of you are withholding funds.



If you are serious about receiving your weekly Filthy Friday post, you will pay up NOW!

See yesterday's post if confused.

Make A Deposit

(subtitle "Tits and Ass"...see Update)

Mistress MJ is taking a couple of days off to attend to important business.

Make a deposit in the slot below if you want Infomaniac to return on Filthy Friday …


[via the fabulous Jason]

UPDATE!

Happy Birthday, XL!

Mistress MJ just found out through Miss Savannah that January 20th is an extra special day.

‘Tis the birthday of Mistress MJ’s Official Pillow Fluffer and IT Consultant, the wonderful XL!



Please join us (after you’ve made a deposit in the slot) by wishing XL a happy birthday.

Note to XL: How is it possible that you weren’t on Infomaniac’s birthday list? Apologies from The Management.

You Better Work It

Mistress MJ sees you sat on your fat arse.

Get yourself into the Infomaniac Gymnasium.



I have one thing to say …you better work, bitch!


[via]

Buy New Underwear Day

Most of you slovenly bitches are walking around in worn out, ill-fitting, unattractive underwear.

Mistress MJ sees your saggy, elasticized waistbands and ratty old gussets full of holes.



But the worst offenders are those of you wearing comedy boxer shorts …



Infomaniac declares today BUY NEW UNDERWEAR DAY.

If you don’t have the time to purchase new underwear, then for heaven’s sake at least have a rummage through your drawers and discard a few pairs of old knickers.

Better yet, recycle and use them to polish your mirrors.

Or sell them to Japanese salarymen!…



Let us know how you get on with all this.

Happy Birthday, Kapitano!

Mistress MJ has been spirited away by faeries and cannot join you.

But speaking of faeries, why don’t you buy our Kapitano a birthday drink? …


[via]



Note: To those who have sent emails inquiring about your Mistress’ health/state of mind (you know who you are and thank you) or sent filthy fotos via email (Ms. Nations) … Mistress MJ will respond asap.

Filthy Friday – Banana Hammock Edition

Mistress MJ wishes to thank TJB of Stirred, Straight Up, With A Twist for today’s Filthy Friday submission …



TJB feels compelled to share his filthy finds with Mistress MJ and we here at Infomaniac are the better for it, don’t you agree?

Pissing Contest Winner

Despite the whole of Italy casting their vote for Miss Scarlet, Infomaniac declares BEAST the winner of the Pissing Contest … by a landslide!


[photo via Kevin]


Beast wins the Pee Book entitled What’s My Pee Telling Me? We’ll be expecting a book report, Beast.

Miss Scarlet wins the consolation prize: A pack of Tena Lady pads …



Well done, all of you! Thank you for your participation.

Here’s something interesting I learned from reading What’s My Pee Telling Me? As you know, the book also covers information about poo and farts so we’re veering off the pee topic for a moment.

DID YOU KNOW?

An Australian study found that men fart an average of fifteen times a day while women let loose a mere eight times a day. The study also concluded, however, that women’s farts had higher sulfide content and smelled worse. Their scientific method? Subjects farted ito an aluminum bag. The gas was then removed with a syringe and expelled into the nostrils of eagerly awaiting judges.

Beast vs Scarlet Smackdown!

It’s a tiebreaker, bitches!

Beast and Miss Scarlet have tied in the Pissing Contest and now they must battle it out in a no holds barred smackdown!

This promises to be the bitchfight of the year, ladies and gentlemen!

Even bigger than the High Maintenance Queen Competition!



Who will take home the Pee Book?

Place your bets now for Infomaniac’s Pissing Contest winner.

Who is your money riding on?

Note: All rules are out the window!!!

Mistress MJ doesn’t care who wins and how they win it as long as there is a champion by day’s end.



Are you ready to rumble?

Pissing Contest – Voting Day

Mistress MJ has selected her six favourite entries to the Pissing Contest.

Now YOU be the judge.

Who amongst the following bitches should win a copy of What’s My Pee Telling Me?

Select your favourite! …



I need this book cos I need to know how to pee in a bush without getting my tights wet.
- Miss Scarlet



Mother's Day is just around the corner. I need this book.
- Michael Guy


I think I desperatly need this book . The other day Mr C told me it would be really really funny if I pee'd in a plastic bag and threw it at Frobisher while he was walking to work. Strangly Frobisher failed to see the funny side , so I obviously have a lot to learn about pee
- Beast



Because i'd place it right next to my autographed copy of, "what my piss told normadesmond" by virginia graham, as told to i.p. daily
- Normadesmond



I need this book because I NEVER have time to pee. I'm too damn busy. My bladder is upset with me and may be on strike. I constantly feel like my teeth are floating and probably have some kind of kidney disease. So you see, I really need this book. Perhaps, I also need to sit in on the meeting those nice ladies are having in that photo?
- Random Chick



Why? because it would complete my set. there couldn't be another in the series could there.....one shouldn't think too much about that
- Manuel (who previously won a copy of What’s Your Poo Telling You?)



Choose only one!

Pissing Contest

Enter our peeing contest and you could win a copy of What's My Pee Telling Me?

"In this entertaining and fact-filled guide, the authors of What’s Your Poo Telling You? Reveal the secrets and splendors of farts, poo, and their inevitable companion, pee.

Includes hilarious illustrations and enlightening explanations of bodily emissions, fascinating trivia, and case histories."

Plus, burning questions are addressed such as:

a) Will peeing on a jellyfish sting relieve the pain?
b) Why can’t men pee straight?
c) Does sitting on the toilet too long cause hemorrhoids?
d) Is it really possible to light your farts on fire?
e) Do men pee faster than women?
f) Is drinking urine good for your health?

This book is FLUSH with information!



Wondering how to win?

Simply tell us why you need this book!


Mistress MJ’s fave answers will be selected and voted on later.

Get your responses in by Monday evening to be eligible to win.

Note to Donn and Manuel: Even though both of you previously won copies of What’s Your Poo Telling You?, you are eligible to enter. Yippee!

Upcoming Contest

Join us on Sunday for an exciting new competition!

Filthy Friday

Filthy Friday is brought to you this week by our friend Beast.


(click it, dammit!)

Infomaniac accepts no responsibility for damage.


Note: There’s another new post below this one.

Happy Birthday, Leah!

Please join Infomaniac in wishing Miss Leah a happy birthday.

Leah’s birthday is Friday but we’re getting a head start on the well wishes.

We've hired Leah’s love interest, Alan Rickman, to whisk her away on horseback to the Hogwarts Dungeons where they will rut like wild animals for the remainder of the week.

Fan Mail Update

Mistress MJ continues to receive special deliveries.



Regular service on Infomaniac will resume on Friday.

In the meantime, we thank you for your patronage.

Fan Mail

Mistress MJ is taking a little time off to catch up with her fan mail.



Join us again on Filthy Friday.

Talk amongst yourselves in the meantime.

Stevie Nicks Will Cut A Bitch

[via]

Could you defend yourself against an angry Stevie Nicks?

Introducing Kabuki Zero

We love introducing new talent here at Infomaniac and today we are pleased to present the new bitch on the block … Kabuki Zero! …




Despite his upstanding moral character, Kabuki missed out on the title of Miss Virginia thus failing to represent his State in the Miss America Pageant.

But without a doubt, Miss Kabuki belongs in Infomaniac’s beauty pageant featuring a gallery of the most Alluring Arses.

See for yourself! …



Kabuki’s heavenly heiny


The first of you bitches to use the term all fur coat and no knickers will be punished.

Click here to visit Kabuki Zero.

Note #1: When Mistress MJ opened her email on New Year’s Day, Kabuki’s arse was the first photograph of the year that she saw. We hope Kabuki’s arse sets the tone around here for the rest of the decade.

Note #2: We wish to thank the fabulous Felix of Hollywood for introducing us to his friend Kabuki Zero.

Choose Your Shoes

From the six shoe styles pictured below, you must choose only one pair.

SHOE #1:



SHOE #2:



SHOE #3:



SHOE #4:



SHOE #5:



SHOE #6:



Now tell us the following:

a) Why they match your personality

or

b) How they will change your life