Saturday, September 13, 2008

Infomaniac For Beginners

Hearken back to the days when you were once an Infomaniac neophyte.

Do you remember the first day you tread hesitantly onto Infomaniac’s pages?

Or, like Inner Voices, did you blatantly jump in head first, leaving a trail of piss behind you?

In any case, you were all once Infomaniac virgins.

And so we find ourselves today with a pair of virgins to be sacrificed on the altar of Mistress MJ: Walker from Canada and Treespotter from Indonesia.

Our newcomers may well be wondering what portal of doom they’ve entered.

They may be curious as to how to conduct themselves; the proper etiquette befitting an Infomaniac bitch; rules and regulations to follow; policies and procedures; jargon and lingo and hazing rituals and such.

It is your duty as Infomaniac veterans to inform our new readers (and any folk who may be lurking cautiously) as to what to expect here on Infomaniac.

Go on then.

Give our new readers a crash course in

Note: New readers and lurkers may jump in at any time with questions or concerns.


  1. It's all, learn, laugh...a sense of humor goes a long way.

    Beware people offering you cake.

    And for some reason, MJ had declared war on Crocs...not sure about 'gators...

    And welcome.

  2. Just do what MJ says and she won't throw her uterus (knitted, or otherwise) at you.

    If you really piss her off, she'll bike over to you and swallow you whole. And I don't mean with her mouth.

    Good luck!

  3. An important trick for the infomaniac neophyte to learn is the art of lying in wait for 12.01AM blogger-time that special time of day when miss mj often dumps (the woman has a clockwork bowel I'm sure of it). At that hour you will be able to comment early-on in the queue, perhaps even in first place which will then entitle you to some exciting repartee with the incredibly beautiful miss anonymous boxer whose kiss is like that of an angel and whose anilingual skills are surpassed only by those of the Great Woman herself.

  4. If Mistress MJ offers you "yogurt," you might want to take a rain check on that.

  5. Get a bumper packet of those strong bleach wipes
    Dont touch anything without wiping first
    You may feel the need to use them on your eyeballs on filthy Fridays.

    Please note Old Knudsen is NOT the Infomaniac doctor and a full medical is NOT required to read this blog (we have all fallen for that one ! )

  6. Run away. Run. Away.

    Quick! Before she hooks you with her drag queen talons.

    Run, quick! It's too late for the rest of us.

  7. just post whatever you want...but remember MJ has a fucking great memory and will use it against you at a most inopportune time!

  8. The trick for a infomaniac neophyte is to back out of the room very, very quietly.

  9. keep your hands off The Cap, or there will be trouble.

  10. My first visit to this cornucopia of perversion & degenerates is similiar to the time I fell over and landed in a tramps vomit.

    The stench of filth has since left a black mark on my soul, quashing any chances I once had of joining the brotherhood of the Catholic Priests.
    I've seen petrified children who after stumbling in here, have gnawed their limbs off to escape the evil clutches of Mistress MJ.
    The only law in here is one of survival. Survival at all costs. Run my little lambs, run... get far away before she wakes from her violent slumber and devours your very soul.

    ....oh yeah, and she also has nice tits, farts worse than a horse, and makes little puppy noises when she cums.

  11. I wouldn't go as far as to describing it with vomiting and others.

    I'm just a little surprised. But i ain't getting any air pumps or the any other electronically phallic object up any of my orifices. We need to set a standard.

  12. Newcomers should be aware that mj used to be a nice young woman who needed nothing more stimulating than an episode of Coronation Street to turn her on.
    In those days she had well behaved friends like me and Piggy.

    Then suddenly she was grabbed into the jaws of filth and vice.

    So if you prefer depravity to Ken Barlow - you must keep those disgusting comments coming every single day.

  13. Sooner or later, you'll be asked for a photo of your genitals.

    Do with that info what you like!

  14. Never, ever, ever, send MJ a picture of your bare arse. Or if you do, shave first.

    Walker!!! My Super Hero Blogger has been initiated.

    It's a good day.

    (yeah, yeah, I know 15)

  15. Just do what Mistress MJ says and you won't get hurt, much.

  16. Beastie: She's too busy having that mans tongue up her arse.

  17. She's in the bathroom shaving her back, she may be quite some time.

  18. It's all cool, I'm chewable and it has been said I melt in you mouth and not in your hand, depending on how fast your hand can move that is.
    And not to worry I save all my piss for my neighbours hedges ;)

  19. Don't EVER send her a picture of your ass.

  20. Is the bar open? I'd like something with White Rum.

  21. Basically, don't take anything Mistress MJ offers, unless it is packaged with an unbroken seal. And even then you are taking your life into your own hands. Come with a sense of humor, thick skin and panties that don't ride up the crack of your arse. That way no feathers are ruffled. Did I cover everything? NO, Well, I"m sure there will be plenty other comments coming along to cover what I have missed. Which I'm sure is a whole lot!

  22. DO NOT eat any cake that may have been lying around.

  23. So It's Not just me who sent her a photo of Me Bum!!!???? Maybe she works for the CIA & has all our bottoms on a file somewhere..........?Ah! the "WAR ON TERROR" marches on.........

  24. keep eyewash near your computer whenever you visit....don't ask, just take my word for it xoxox

  25. Has Miss MJ sat on that plastic shair without her knickers on again . It could be weeks before they prise her off :-(

  26. MJ - point them my way, and I'll put their eyes out. The World Champ once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.

  27. If you're even thinking of sending a shot of your bare arse (much better assonance than "ass", oddly enough), you can at least play hard to get and hold out for the Elf Pants first.

  28. BITCHES: I turn my back on you for five minutes (well, the entire weekend, actually) and you’ve gone and slandered my reputation.

    Walker and Treespotter will probably never return thanks to you ungrateful bitches.

    Bend over, the lot of you, and take my thigh high boot up your collective arses.

  29. *wasn't here but bends over to receive mjs love and adoration*

    advice? remember the movie "eyes wide shut"? yeah, i like to think of infomaniac like that....

  30. If you decide to hang out here ... try not to let your wife know.