Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The Bright Side of Life

It has come to Mistress MJ’s attention that two of our readers are dealing with serious health issues.

XL is having prostate problems. Bend over, darlin', and I’ll give you a second opinion…




And Robyn has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Mistress MJ kicks your cancer in the crotch, Miss Robyn. I tell it to fuck off, right now.





No doubt there are others amongst us experiencing difficulties of all sorts. Therefore it is Mistress MJ’s duty to cheer you all up with a little ditty that never fails to lift her spirits. It’s even better than Fukitol!


For the benefit of the accent-impaired Yanks in the audience, I have taken the liberty of transcribing the lyrics, below the video. (song starts after a brief spoken word segment)…



Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistling]
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistling]
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistling]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistling]
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistling]

41 comments:

  1. YAY! FIRST!

    I think my doctor was also wearing one of bracelets during the exam as well.

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  2. would that be to the right or to the left?

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  3. That song? I have instructed my husband to play it at my wake. It's been one of my favorites for nigh on 20 years now.

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  4. XL & DAISY: Wait a minute.

    You BOTH posted at 6:57.

    Therefore it's a tie.

    But we'll let XL think he's first because he's the one with the problematic prostate.

    PEEVISH: Why wait for your wake?

    Turn the volume up to eleven!

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  5. If this post wasn't about kicking cancer's ass AND a funny funny clip, I'd be royally pissed off about my fifth position here.

    But I beat Eroswings so, HA!

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  6. Here's wishing the best to XL and Robyn.

    MJ, I think you send each of them a complimentary case of Fukitol asap.... looks like they need it more than the rest of us.

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  7. BOXER: I forgot to mention that Old Knudsen has Morgellons Disease.

    Have you had intimate contact with him recently?

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  8. PONYGIRL: Gaa! Another lurker at my back door. I didn't see you there.

    I expect they're eating the Fukitol like it's candy.

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  9. We sing this all the time at Chez Weather. I mean all the time. I think "life's a piece of shit, when you look at it" may be one of the finest lyrics ever written.

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  10. I wasn't lurking at all. You're just going deaf and didn't hear me walk up behind you....

    ((tiptoes away in Crocs that make absolutely NO noise all all... hee hee))

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  11. Old K's Morgellons Disease has sharp pointy teeth. Maybe just what we need to kick Cancer's ass?

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  12. Yikes! It's STC collision central around here.

    * ducks just in case *

    I am filled with the urge to watch The Life Of Brian now, but instead, I must go to work. Bah!

    Oh, and 'Bah!' to prostatular problems and cancer, too. Damnable things.

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  13. LEAH: The “life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it” is my fave line and one I repeat over and over, often to the point of neglecting to sing the rest of the lyrics.

    PONYGIRL: I will repost the rules of my blog:

    No peeing, vomiting, or wearing Crocs!

    BOXER: Be sure not to say “bite me” in Old Knudsen’s presence.

    IVD: I bet you don’t even feel it anymore when the proctologist reaches in, do you?

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  14. My Idle friend always does it for me too.
    Best wishes and fingers crossed for XL and Robyn

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  15. I was toying with the idea of visiting the doc myself, especially as the red rub mark just above my left knee was constantly giving me problems. Then on the advice of a lady friend I started wearing undies and I now dress to the right. Miracuously the rub mark has vanished as if by magic!

    Halle-fucking-lujah!

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  16. I always give a little whistle when I'm chewing on life's gristle.

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  17. You may want to remove your metal bracelets before administering your digital exam...

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  18. This being MJ's blog , I am surprised we didnt get two miserable flabby old men demonstrating the exam.
    Mucho Beast power to Robyn and XL

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  19. Beast powah = super number one!!

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  20. In the bad old days the proctologist had to use candles.

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  21. xl and i are actually cyber twins...i have no idea where that came from...
    so is the bright side of life to the right or the left you never told me which way to look?

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  22. Will you cure my flaccid penis MJ ?

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  23. KAZ: I know what you mean.

    Say no more, say no more.

    BOLLIX: The rub mark may have vanished but now that you’re wearing undies the skid marks are visible.

    GARFY: Is that what keeps you so upbeat and positive?

    You are like a daily dose of sunshine, Sunshine.

    EROS: But the bracelets are what give you that special tingle.

    BEAST: Don’t you have some laundry to do?

    T-BIRD: Don’t encourage him.

    MAGO: Giving new meaning to the term “arse candle”.

    DAISY: Where’s the bright side of life?

    Well if XL is any indication, it’s not up your arse so don’t go looking there.

    HEFF: Your flaccid penis can be cured by purchasing a PELOOP from our friend Miss Mu Tai Dong.

    Good luck!

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  24. I copied the lyrics to I Have The Touch by Peter Gabriel, quite appropriate, however, when I tried to paste it on MJs blog, this song showed up?
    I'll take it as a sign.

    "Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a,
    touch-me
    I wanna be dirty
    Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,
    Creature of the night"

    Stand Up! My thoughts and hopes are with XL & Robyn...
    f*ck you "C".

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  25. I found out I have a UTI! Not NEARLY as bad as a prostate problem or cancer...and if anyone can kick cancer's ass, it's ROBYN. Go Robyn, go!

    Now I can sing that lovely little ditty as it burns when I pee.

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  26. DONNNNN: “I wanna be dirty”…

    Is that your theme song?

    VOICES: What was the question?

    RANDOM: Do you think Voices has a UTI too?

    That would explain why he’s always peeing on my blog!

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  27. *trying to behave ones self*

    hahaha, sounds like random may have had some marital action this week and is suffering from that...

    GO RANDOM!!!

    it was after you were reading walkers blog wasnt it?!?!?

    *sits back down and resumes being quiet*

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  28. and i was only marking my territory by the way...


    *sniffs around bottom of chair and notices someone else has been there before him*

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  29. MJ, I think he does have a UTI.

    Inner Voices, Yes and yes.

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  30. VOICES: I haven't visited Walker yet. I must do so if he has that effect on Random.

    Is it possible that Random OD'd on Fukitol? She's acting very oddly.

    As for your behaviour, don't push me or, as I said yesterday, I'll take you and Beast over my knee.

    RANDOM: Do you think we should dress up as nurses and give Voices an examination?

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  31. *holds out rubber gloves and wooden paddle for exam to begin*


    ive been a bad boy....

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  32. Whats did I do??
    I have been out all day , slaving over a steaming sink at cafe C and stagger back to a spanking

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  33. Mistress MJ:
    Thank you for the post.

    Everybody:
    Thank you for your kinds words.


    Now, where's that Fukitol?

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  34. Beast, I think you powered up, and we liked it. But then we were sad. Because our beast power ran out. More please!

    Rawr!

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  35. Good luck to all with health problems. Recently, those with problems, who know me, have been OK.

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  36. Oh and whilst I'm here, could you check my prostate?

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  37. VOICES & BEAST: Trousers down.

    Both of you.

    Stop whining, Beast, for heaven’s sake.

    XL: The fuk if I know.

    Help yourself to the contents of my medicine cabinet in the meantime.

    T-BIRD: Beast fizzles out fast.

    He needs to purchase the PELOOP from Miss Mu.

    TICKERS: I’m afraid of what I’ll find up there!

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  38. Sorry to hear about robyn and xl ... In case you want to mention more bloggers with ailments ... I hurt my wrist.

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  39. MJ!
    I love ya! Thanks so much for the randy cheering up!
    *whistling*
    And DUDE pass me the Fukitol after you XL!

    Love ya all! And yes...F*ck Cancer!

    Big hugs MJ!

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  40. JOE: We have a good idea how you injured your wrist.

    ROBYN: I'm sending you a lifetime supply of Fukitol.

    *fluffs Robyn's pillows and makes her a nice cuppa tea*

    Don't expect this kind of service when you're feeling better.

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