Wednesday, July 19, 2006

London to Stage Huge Public Wankfest

The First International Masturbate-A-Thon
London, England
August 5, 2006

Hundreds of people are expected to gather in a hall in central London on August 5 to pleasure themselves in aid of charity.

Prizes will be on offer for those who clock up the most orgasms and those who can masturbate the longest - the current record, according to the organisers, is a chafing eight-and-a-half hours.

To qualify for the record, the organisers say "at least 55 minutes of every hour shall be spent self-pleasuring by manual or sex toy stimulation" with participants getting just five minutes to "replenish and renew.”

Ceiling Cat


  1. Yay! Etc.

    We won't be able to attend this one.

    We'll be in Ireland.


    The fucking perverts.

    *reaches for tissue*

  2. Piggy & Tazzy: In Ireland, having your own private little Wankfest with SID, no doubt.

  3. Indeed.

    He's gonna love it.

  4. This just aint right.


    Just aint.

    Something about masturbating in front of bunch of folks tht just feels so wrong.

  5. It's all for charity.

    I already gave at the office.

    Brothers and sisters, look out for those blisters.

  6. Awaiting: I take it you won't be cumming? To the event?

    Tickers: You already gave at the office? I bet you did, I say, I bet you did.

    "Brothers and sisters, look out for those blisters." I should have made that my post title.

  7. There's going to be highlights on Channel 4.

    But what we really need is an on-the-spot reporter. You can count me out.

    wv - peevap

  8. Geoff: Providing a blow-by-blow account, so to speak.

    You ought to see a doctor about that peevap.

  9. Do they have a category for us senior citizens? If so I might just fly over and join in the festivities. Then again I might NOT! Nothing wrong with wanking though. It's worked for me for over 50 years and I ain't blind or crazy yet (some would argue about that last part!). It just seems like it's something that should be done in private though as Pee Wee Herman, George Michael and Kevin Costner among many others have found out!

  10. i hope they think to put a tarp down.

  11. Horny Old Guy: Welcome! I don't see a special category for seniors at the Wankfest. Anyone can attend though. Looks like it's first come first served sort of thing. Good to hear you've not gone blind. I bet you have hairy palms though.

    First Nations: I wouldn't want to be on cleanup-crew.

  12. I just know there's going to be sweet old ladies with tea trollies trundling around, offering tea and refreshments.

    And a small band of sad-looking protesters outside, carrying placards that quote the bible - the bit about spilling your seed upon the ground.

    And the organisers will be annoyed when a streaker interrupts the proceedings.

    That would all be so English.

  13. Kapitano: Which bikkies would go best with a Wankfest? McVities Hob Nobs?

    And let's hope the British Red Cross shows up. It's fun until someone gets a fracture.

  14. Ewwww. Soggy biscuit!

  15. HA! Brilliant, MJ! I see you've got everything ready for the occasion.

    So the only thing left to do is, well, wank. I wonder if we can do it with them, live-like, on some webcast?

    I would pay to watch, with my hotdog daiquiri, prairie oysters and other assorted foodstuffs, plus the two K's at the ready...

  16. hey within without if you want to see live wanking visit piggy and tazzy 's blog .......right pair of wankers
    haaa haaaa haa haaa rolls about laughing (sorreeeeee guys loves ya really)

  17. Hhahahahahaha! I like how you replied to my comment!

  18. I was going to be a cheer leader but the poodles have ragged one of my pom poms.

    I could always be a lubrication engineer or bring around the oranges at half time.

  19. Within/Without: Ask Tazzy and Piggy if you can do it on their Poofter Cam. I'm sure they'll oblige.

    Midget Arse: Nice talking with you you over at the Cam. Good on you for telling Within/Without about who the REAL wankers around here are.
    *looks over at Piggy and Tazzy*

    Awaiting: I hope you're still at the Cam making them perform for you.

    Tickers: You're hired. On all accounts.

  20. Are you Canucks flying over for this one. It's going to be big, that's for sure. It is actually going to be quite a useful event on the medical front too - did you know, and this is true, wanking is one of the main causes of RSI.

  21. Tom: I'm not cumming but I'll sponsor you if you have your pledge form handy.

    *wonders how Tom knows so much about wanking-related RSI*

  22. Tom: The above anonymous comment was from me.

  23. I'll have to bring my right hand man within without!

  24. and here I thought that I was the only one with a ceiling cat?


  25. This right hand man couldn't even find HE's wanker if it was the only one in a police lineup.

  26. WW: Them's fightin' words.
    HE and WW bitch fight!

  27. Fark only 3 days to go and I have'nt found any suitable lube.