Click me, bitches. And while you’re up, fetch me a cocktail.
What books or magazines or papers are waiting on your bedside table?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Reading Weekend
Mistress MJ is catching up on her reading this weekend…
Click me, bitches. And while you’re up, fetch me a cocktail.
What books or magazines or papers are waiting on your bedside table?
Click me, bitches. And while you’re up, fetch me a cocktail.
What books or magazines or papers are waiting on your bedside table?
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Infomaniac Dancers
Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting The Infomaniac Dancers...
(click to enhance the size of those who dance)
(click to enhance the size of those who dance)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Sticky Toffee Pudding
Until last night I was a virgin.
A sticky toffee pudding virgin.
You Brits sit there, mouths agape, shocked to imagine that someone has not tasted the sweet goodness of your native pudding.
I’d always wanted to taste the treat, based on the appeal of its name…
Sticky
Toffee
Pudding
Each word sounds delicious on its own but combine all three together and oh my!
The shameless pudding lured me from the bakery window…"Eat Me" it whispered.
You know how it is.
I succumbed. Gleefully. Sinfully. Savouring every morsel.
And now I’m hooked.
Just like you Brits hooked me on HobNobs.
Whilst doing a little research on the pudding, I discovered that sticky toffee pudding has been in existence less than 40 years.
Apparently, it was first created in the 1970s by the late restaurateur Francis Coulson, at the Sharrow Bay Hotel in Cumbria, England.
However, chef Simon Hopkinson claims here that the recipe may have existed previously in Lancashire AND, wait for it… it’s origins may have been in CANADA!
Controversy aside, I must recreate the recipe. Because at $5 Canadian (that’s 2.6 British Pounds or 4.2 US Dollars) I refuse to shell out that kind of money each time I get a craving.
No, don’t tell me to buy the tinned stuff…
Send me your best recipe.
I found this recipe on the BBC website but with so many options, I don’t know if it’s the one I should try.
Is STP best on its own or served with whipped cream, clotted cream or ice cream?
Is it best served hot or room temperature?
And which beverage is the perfect accompaniment?
And finally…
Tell me your own sticky toffee pudding memories.
Hurry bitches, I have needs!
A sticky toffee pudding virgin.
You Brits sit there, mouths agape, shocked to imagine that someone has not tasted the sweet goodness of your native pudding.
I’d always wanted to taste the treat, based on the appeal of its name…
Sticky
Toffee
Pudding
Each word sounds delicious on its own but combine all three together and oh my!
The shameless pudding lured me from the bakery window…"Eat Me" it whispered.
You know how it is.
I succumbed. Gleefully. Sinfully. Savouring every morsel.
And now I’m hooked.
Just like you Brits hooked me on HobNobs.
Whilst doing a little research on the pudding, I discovered that sticky toffee pudding has been in existence less than 40 years.
Apparently, it was first created in the 1970s by the late restaurateur Francis Coulson, at the Sharrow Bay Hotel in Cumbria, England.
However, chef Simon Hopkinson claims here that the recipe may have existed previously in Lancashire AND, wait for it… it’s origins may have been in CANADA!
Controversy aside, I must recreate the recipe. Because at $5 Canadian (that’s 2.6 British Pounds or 4.2 US Dollars) I refuse to shell out that kind of money each time I get a craving.
No, don’t tell me to buy the tinned stuff…
Send me your best recipe.
I found this recipe on the BBC website but with so many options, I don’t know if it’s the one I should try.
Is STP best on its own or served with whipped cream, clotted cream or ice cream?
Is it best served hot or room temperature?
And which beverage is the perfect accompaniment?
And finally…
Tell me your own sticky toffee pudding memories.
Hurry bitches, I have needs!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Blogging Roundup
A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.
If you think I’m doing a Blogging Roundup after being away for half the week, you have another thing coming to you.
Instead, you’ll write the Roundup.
Yes, you will tell Mistress MJ and all the other bitches the highlights of what you posted over the past week.
Even if, for some of you, the highlights were more like lowlights.
Leave your summary in the comments box at the sound of the tone.
I’ll have one of the houseboys make sure I take your call in the order it was received.
Can I bum a fag?
If you think I’m doing a Blogging Roundup after being away for half the week, you have another thing coming to you.
Instead, you’ll write the Roundup.
Yes, you will tell Mistress MJ and all the other bitches the highlights of what you posted over the past week.
Even if, for some of you, the highlights were more like lowlights.
Leave your summary in the comments box at the sound of the tone.
I’ll have one of the houseboys make sure I take your call in the order it was received.
Can I bum a fag?
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Lurid Digs
Back in June, Infomaniac showed you some common decorating mistakes that folk make when posing nude for photographs.
For example, a little leopard print goes a long way…
Imagine our glee to discover an entire website dedicated to “horrifying gay amateur interiors” such as this…
And this…
“These Feng Shui-challenged souls have proven over and over again that male homosexuals can be just as color uncoordinated, sloppy and nastee as their straight bretheren.”
Visit Lurid Digs for more catastrophic décor.
Note: Infomaniac wishes to thank Eroswings who, in Mistress MJ’s absence, stepped into her stilettos to assist with the comments in our last post.
For example, a little leopard print goes a long way…
Imagine our glee to discover an entire website dedicated to “horrifying gay amateur interiors” such as this…
And this…
“These Feng Shui-challenged souls have proven over and over again that male homosexuals can be just as color uncoordinated, sloppy and nastee as their straight bretheren.”
Visit Lurid Digs for more catastrophic décor.
Note: Infomaniac wishes to thank Eroswings who, in Mistress MJ’s absence, stepped into her stilettos to assist with the comments in our last post.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service
Infomaniac will resume posting on Sunday, November 9th.
In the meantime, we, the staff of Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service, have been contacted by this lovely dance troupe…
... and we're busy trying to find husbands for them.
Your input is welcome.
In the meantime, we, the staff of Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service, have been contacted by this lovely dance troupe…
... and we're busy trying to find husbands for them.
Your input is welcome.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Perv of the Day
Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.
Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.
THE PERV: An unnamed naked vicar, in his 50s.
THE PLACE: Yorkshire, England.
THE PERVERSION: The vicar underwent surgery to have a potato removed from his arse.
The clergyman insisted he had not been playing a sex game.
Nurse Trudi Watson of Sheffield Northern General Hospital said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato."
For more examples of foreign bodies that have “accidentally” been inserted up arseholes, please refer to Infomaniac’s “Shove It Up Yer Arse” post.
Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.
THE PERV: An unnamed naked vicar, in his 50s.
THE PLACE: Yorkshire, England.
THE PERVERSION: The vicar underwent surgery to have a potato removed from his arse.
The clergyman insisted he had not been playing a sex game.
Nurse Trudi Watson of Sheffield Northern General Hospital said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato."
For more examples of foreign bodies that have “accidentally” been inserted up arseholes, please refer to Infomaniac’s “Shove It Up Yer Arse” post.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Blogging Roundup
A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.
Before we get started, let’s give a shout-out to all the shut-ins who are feeling poorly at home…namely Inexplicable Device (IVD).
Poor Diddums has a case of the Man Flu™.
Get well soon, IVD!
ANONYMOUS BOXER:
Over at Boxer’s place, Hallowe’en went to the dogs …
Boxer's chihuahua Paco. Or is he Dracula’s dog?
XL:
Meanwhile over at XL’s place, Hallowe’en went to the cats who were guest bloggers…
BEAST:
And in a move that surprised no one, Beast painted his arse for Hallowe'en...
DONN:
Donn is out COPPing in his COPPstume as he patrols the mean streets of WinterPeg.
FROBISHER:
Frobi’s lost his pigeon “CooCoo” who was last seen flying overcliff in Dorset, heading out to sea.
Can anyone help?
A substantial reward is offered.
EROSWINGS:
Eros encourages you to feel your breasts (and the breasts of your mates) in the shower for abnormalities…
SAVANNAH:
Savannah is driven to drink as she prepares to move into the plantation house.
OLD KNUDSEN:
Old Knudsen hosted a blogothon in celebration of International Blogging Day.
At last count he’d posted 14, yes, that’s right…FOURTEEN POSTS IN ONE DAY!!!
Beat that, bitches!
Jerry Lewis, on behalf of Old Knudsen’s blogothon, says “send your money to PayPal or I take the the air out of this kid’s tires”
LEAH:
With American Thanksgiving coming up, Brooklyn’s Leah is going to post one thing she’s thankful for every day in November.
HEFF:
Heff celebrated his 41st birthday with beer and tacos…
CYBERPETE:
The Infomaniac House of Couture kicks it up a notch.
Last week Tony bought a new hat and this week CyberPoof bought new shoes…
MAXI CANE:
Maxi’s started his own cuntry, er, country “Maxiland” and I’ve been made Minister of Filth in his Cabinet.
And finally…
SCARLET:
Miss Scarlet claims she’s not a ginger…
NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK
There IS no New Cunt of the Week.
New Cunts are you bitches who’ve been reading Infomaniac for 14 months or less and are frequent commenters.
Off the top of my head, that would be Leah, Heff, Maxi Cane, T-Bird, Random Chick, Ponygirl, Anonymous Boxer and Miss Scarlet.
Am I missing anyone?
Or did you miss out on being a New Cunt back when I was posting the Blogging Roundup on a regular basis? Then now’s your chance!
Simply send me a wee blurb about yourself; where you’re from, your interests, etc. and you too can be initiated as a new Infomaniac bitch.
Before we get started, let’s give a shout-out to all the shut-ins who are feeling poorly at home…namely Inexplicable Device (IVD).
Poor Diddums has a case of the Man Flu™.
Get well soon, IVD!
ANONYMOUS BOXER:
Over at Boxer’s place, Hallowe’en went to the dogs …
Boxer's chihuahua Paco. Or is he Dracula’s dog?
XL:
Meanwhile over at XL’s place, Hallowe’en went to the cats who were guest bloggers…
BEAST:
And in a move that surprised no one, Beast painted his arse for Hallowe'en...
DONN:
Donn is out COPPing in his COPPstume as he patrols the mean streets of WinterPeg.
FROBISHER:
Frobi’s lost his pigeon “CooCoo” who was last seen flying overcliff in Dorset, heading out to sea.
Can anyone help?
A substantial reward is offered.
EROSWINGS:
Eros encourages you to feel your breasts (and the breasts of your mates) in the shower for abnormalities…
SAVANNAH:
Savannah is driven to drink as she prepares to move into the plantation house.
OLD KNUDSEN:
Old Knudsen hosted a blogothon in celebration of International Blogging Day.
At last count he’d posted 14, yes, that’s right…FOURTEEN POSTS IN ONE DAY!!!
Beat that, bitches!
Jerry Lewis, on behalf of Old Knudsen’s blogothon, says “send your money to PayPal or I take the the air out of this kid’s tires”
LEAH:
With American Thanksgiving coming up, Brooklyn’s Leah is going to post one thing she’s thankful for every day in November.
HEFF:
Heff celebrated his 41st birthday with beer and tacos…
CYBERPETE:
The Infomaniac House of Couture kicks it up a notch.
Last week Tony bought a new hat and this week CyberPoof bought new shoes…
MAXI CANE:
Maxi’s started his own cuntry, er, country “Maxiland” and I’ve been made Minister of Filth in his Cabinet.
And finally…
SCARLET:
Miss Scarlet claims she’s not a ginger…
NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK
There IS no New Cunt of the Week.
New Cunts are you bitches who’ve been reading Infomaniac for 14 months or less and are frequent commenters.
Off the top of my head, that would be Leah, Heff, Maxi Cane, T-Bird, Random Chick, Ponygirl, Anonymous Boxer and Miss Scarlet.
Am I missing anyone?
Or did you miss out on being a New Cunt back when I was posting the Blogging Roundup on a regular basis? Then now’s your chance!
Simply send me a wee blurb about yourself; where you’re from, your interests, etc. and you too can be initiated as a new Infomaniac bitch.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Drunk of the Day
Welcome to another installment of Drunk of the Day.
Here we shall examine the wacky hijinks that folk get up to under the influence of alcohol.
Before we get started, let it be known that Mistress MJ secretly longs to drive a Zamboni but she is most likely to go off the boards like this woman…
THE DRUNK: Unnamed female Zamboni driver, age 34.
THE DISTRICT: Kingsville, Ontario, Canada. (approximately 35 kilometres southwest of Windsor, Ontario.)
THE DEED: The woman was charged with impaired driving after she was seen operating a Zamboni erratically at an arena, hitting the boards and falling asleep, slumped over the wheel.
A number of citizens told police, "I think the Zamboni driver is drunk."
The police sergeant observed the driver operating the machine in an erratic manner and missing large portions of the ice surface.
Police reported that she was found to have a flask of vodka in her front pants pocket.
THE DENOUEMENT: The woman is scheduled to appear in court in December on charges of impaired driving and having a blood alcohol level over 80 milligrams.
And in other Zamboni-related news, Republican vice-presidential candidate and hockey mom Sarah Palin claims that she “always wanted a son named Zamboni.”
Here we shall examine the wacky hijinks that folk get up to under the influence of alcohol.
Before we get started, let it be known that Mistress MJ secretly longs to drive a Zamboni but she is most likely to go off the boards like this woman…
THE DRUNK: Unnamed female Zamboni driver, age 34.
THE DISTRICT: Kingsville, Ontario, Canada. (approximately 35 kilometres southwest of Windsor, Ontario.)
THE DEED: The woman was charged with impaired driving after she was seen operating a Zamboni erratically at an arena, hitting the boards and falling asleep, slumped over the wheel.
A number of citizens told police, "I think the Zamboni driver is drunk."
The police sergeant observed the driver operating the machine in an erratic manner and missing large portions of the ice surface.
Police reported that she was found to have a flask of vodka in her front pants pocket.
THE DENOUEMENT: The woman is scheduled to appear in court in December on charges of impaired driving and having a blood alcohol level over 80 milligrams.
And in other Zamboni-related news, Republican vice-presidential candidate and hockey mom Sarah Palin claims that she “always wanted a son named Zamboni.”
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Random Chick’s Favourite Post
It’s time for another installment of Your Favourite Post.
Today’s submission comes to us from Random Chick in San Francisco, California, USA.
Entitled, “Symbol of My Midlife Crisis”, you can CLICK HERE to read it.
Random Chick
Enjoy!
Today’s submission comes to us from Random Chick in San Francisco, California, USA.
Entitled, “Symbol of My Midlife Crisis”, you can CLICK HERE to read it.
Random Chick
Enjoy!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Filthy Friday - Hallowe'en Edition
Click pic to enlarge…
Infomaniac devotees worshiping at the altar of Mistress MJ
“What’s so filthy about that?” you ask.
As Infomaniac insiders, you know what’s really going on in this pic.
So tell us all about it.
Infomaniac devotees worshiping at the altar of Mistress MJ
“What’s so filthy about that?” you ask.
As Infomaniac insiders, you know what’s really going on in this pic.
So tell us all about it.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Try Something New Day!
It’s been almost a year since we held a Try Something New Day.
So let’s do it again!
What new activity will you be trying?
So let’s do it again!
What new activity will you be trying?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Blogging Roundup (cuntinued)
NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK
MEET GINRO!
Englishman Ginro first appeared on Infomaniac in September of this year; another innocent bystander lured in by this Filthy Friday posting.
Although secretly I think he’d been enjoying the Cake Farts video prior to that.
You may remember the day that Ginro contributed to our Blogging Tips and Tricks posting by writing upside down and backwards in the comments section.
Ginro (left) in the garden with Charlie Dimmock and Alan Titchmarsh...if I knew how to post this gif properly, Charlie Dimmock's tits would be swinging back and forth, alternately slapping Ginro and Alan TITchmarsh as they swung
UPDATE: That isn’t Ginro in the pic. If anyone knows who the bloke on the left is, please contact Ginro or Infomaniac.
UPDATE: Ginro informs us that the bloke on the left is Tommy Walsh from Ground Force.
Anyway, I’ll shut up and let Ginro take it from here.
From here on down, Ginro tells his tale. Enjoy…
Who am I?
I am a man that blogs. But would that be more along the lines of telling you what I am rather than who I am? Yes I guess so. I found this which was quite interesting, for several minutes: Who am I? I am a boy. I tried to put my age but it wouldn't let me go past nine years old. Well that figures, lol. Give me the hairstyle of your choice. Hair colour? Didn't have silver (my hair turned that colour in my late twenties when I got married) as an option so I had to go for blonde. I have a silly/bunny face. My pyjamas are, well I don't wear anything as a rule so I went with blue. And this is me. Fun for all of us.
Alternatively...
I was born some time ago.
My earliest memory is from when I was about 2 or 3 years old. I was in the back seat of a car, and the car was black.
When I was 5 I broke my arm.
However, we didn't know this until the doctor had a look at it the next day as the nurse that lived next door had told my Mum that it was just a sprain.
I still have the cast. Don't know why I kept it.
When I was 8 the girl across the road used to chase me everywhere trying to kiss me. Naturally, at that age I was repulsed.
When we met again, about fifteen years later, my eyes popped out as she was a babe. Unfortunately she was also married and then emigrated to Canada.
When I was 10 we went to live in Ceylon.
I had lots of adventures.
When I was 14 we returned.
I was 14 when I got my first offer of *hem hem* relations.
She was the same age as me, and in my class, but looked the spitting image of Lynsey De Paul.
As she looked back then that is, not as she is now.
Lynsey de Paul
We moved again when I was 15.
We moved again when I was 16.
I hated school so used to bunk off and stay at home reading my Dad's encyclopedias.
When I was 19 I got a job as a croupier.
When I was 21 I joined the army.
When I was 24 I went back to croupiering.
When I was 25 I went abroad and worked in illegal gambling dens.
It wasn't a lot of fun sometimes.
The police chased us a lot.
So did other people.
But again, I had lots of adventures.
When I came back I moved.
I worked in a casino.
I met my wife there.
She was watching me deal a game and leaning over the table, she said in a very loud voice, "I want to have your babies".
The customers just ignored her and carried on gambling.
I went into a little bit of shock and asked her if we could discuss this later.
Two years later we were married with a baby daughter.
I discovered I love children and want more.
Over the next few years things happened.
Some pleasant.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
My wife ran off with someone else.
It's a long story.
I raised my daughter.
I became a qualified PTI.
I went to college.
I went to Uni...
...several times.
Some things happened.
Some pleasant.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
And here we are today.
Where am I from?
From a country far far away, in a land that time forgot. Actually when you want to know where I am from what do you mean? Where was I born? Where did I spend my childhood? Where did I go to school? Where have I spent most of my life? I will simply say, I was born in England and am an Englishman through and through.
My interests:
Well I love kittens and puppies, and I want to spread peace and love all around the world and if I win the Miss World competition I shall use the prize money to buy lots of balloons and spread happiness (*snort* yeh right as if l believe that garbage. I win the prize money and I'm off on a world cruise with a woman wearing kinky boots on each arm. Not wearing the boots on their arms I mean, but the women arm in arm with me).
One of my heroes is King Harold II.
I exercise a lot.
I am a martial artist and have been for over twenty years.
But I only train alone nowadays, as I'm tired of fighting full-contact.
It hurts, and I've done my time.
I am a bibliophile.
I smoke.
By that I mean roll-ups in liquorice paper.
MEET GINRO!
Englishman Ginro first appeared on Infomaniac in September of this year; another innocent bystander lured in by this Filthy Friday posting.
Although secretly I think he’d been enjoying the Cake Farts video prior to that.
You may remember the day that Ginro contributed to our Blogging Tips and Tricks posting by writing upside down and backwards in the comments section.
Ginro (left) in the garden with Charlie Dimmock and Alan Titchmarsh...if I knew how to post this gif properly, Charlie Dimmock's tits would be swinging back and forth, alternately slapping Ginro and Alan TITchmarsh as they swung
UPDATE: That isn’t Ginro in the pic. If anyone knows who the bloke on the left is, please contact Ginro or Infomaniac.
UPDATE: Ginro informs us that the bloke on the left is Tommy Walsh from Ground Force.
Anyway, I’ll shut up and let Ginro take it from here.
From here on down, Ginro tells his tale. Enjoy…
Who am I?
I am a man that blogs. But would that be more along the lines of telling you what I am rather than who I am? Yes I guess so. I found this which was quite interesting, for several minutes: Who am I? I am a boy. I tried to put my age but it wouldn't let me go past nine years old. Well that figures, lol. Give me the hairstyle of your choice. Hair colour? Didn't have silver (my hair turned that colour in my late twenties when I got married) as an option so I had to go for blonde. I have a silly/bunny face. My pyjamas are, well I don't wear anything as a rule so I went with blue. And this is me. Fun for all of us.
Alternatively...
I was born some time ago.
My earliest memory is from when I was about 2 or 3 years old. I was in the back seat of a car, and the car was black.
When I was 5 I broke my arm.
However, we didn't know this until the doctor had a look at it the next day as the nurse that lived next door had told my Mum that it was just a sprain.
I still have the cast. Don't know why I kept it.
When I was 8 the girl across the road used to chase me everywhere trying to kiss me. Naturally, at that age I was repulsed.
When we met again, about fifteen years later, my eyes popped out as she was a babe. Unfortunately she was also married and then emigrated to Canada.
When I was 10 we went to live in Ceylon.
I had lots of adventures.
When I was 14 we returned.
I was 14 when I got my first offer of *hem hem* relations.
She was the same age as me, and in my class, but looked the spitting image of Lynsey De Paul.
As she looked back then that is, not as she is now.
Lynsey de Paul
We moved again when I was 15.
We moved again when I was 16.
I hated school so used to bunk off and stay at home reading my Dad's encyclopedias.
When I was 19 I got a job as a croupier.
When I was 21 I joined the army.
When I was 24 I went back to croupiering.
When I was 25 I went abroad and worked in illegal gambling dens.
It wasn't a lot of fun sometimes.
The police chased us a lot.
So did other people.
But again, I had lots of adventures.
When I came back I moved.
I worked in a casino.
I met my wife there.
She was watching me deal a game and leaning over the table, she said in a very loud voice, "I want to have your babies".
The customers just ignored her and carried on gambling.
I went into a little bit of shock and asked her if we could discuss this later.
Two years later we were married with a baby daughter.
I discovered I love children and want more.
Over the next few years things happened.
Some pleasant.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
My wife ran off with someone else.
It's a long story.
I raised my daughter.
I became a qualified PTI.
I went to college.
I went to Uni...
...several times.
Some things happened.
Some pleasant.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
And here we are today.
Where am I from?
From a country far far away, in a land that time forgot. Actually when you want to know where I am from what do you mean? Where was I born? Where did I spend my childhood? Where did I go to school? Where have I spent most of my life? I will simply say, I was born in England and am an Englishman through and through.
My interests:
Well I love kittens and puppies, and I want to spread peace and love all around the world and if I win the Miss World competition I shall use the prize money to buy lots of balloons and spread happiness (*snort* yeh right as if l believe that garbage. I win the prize money and I'm off on a world cruise with a woman wearing kinky boots on each arm. Not wearing the boots on their arms I mean, but the women arm in arm with me).
One of my heroes is King Harold II.
I exercise a lot.
I am a martial artist and have been for over twenty years.
But I only train alone nowadays, as I'm tired of fighting full-contact.
It hurts, and I've done my time.
I am a bibliophile.
I smoke.
By that I mean roll-ups in liquorice paper.
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