Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.




Before we get started, let’s give a shout-out to all the shut-ins who are feeling poorly at home…namely Inexplicable Device (IVD).

Poor Diddums has a case of the Man Flu™.



Get well soon, IVD!




ANONYMOUS BOXER:

Over at Boxer’s place, Hallowe’en went to the dogs …


Boxer's chihuahua Paco. Or is he Dracula’s dog?




XL:

Meanwhile over at XL’s place, Hallowe’en went to the cats who were guest bloggers…





BEAST:

And in a move that surprised no one, Beast painted his arse for Hallowe'en...





DONN:

Donn is out COPPing in his COPPstume as he patrols the mean streets of WinterPeg.






FROBISHER:



Frobi’s lost his pigeon “CooCoo” who was last seen flying overcliff in Dorset, heading out to sea.

Can anyone help?

A substantial reward is offered.




EROSWINGS:

Eros encourages you to feel your breasts (and the breasts of your mates) in the shower for abnormalities…





SAVANNAH:



Savannah is driven to drink as she prepares to move into the plantation house.




OLD KNUDSEN:

Old Knudsen hosted a blogothon in celebration of International Blogging Day.

At last count he’d posted 14, yes, that’s right…FOURTEEN POSTS IN ONE DAY!!!

Beat that, bitches!



Jerry Lewis, on behalf of Old Knudsen’s blogothon, says “send your money to PayPal or I take the the air out of this kid’s tires”




LEAH:



With American Thanksgiving coming up, Brooklyn’s Leah is going to post one thing she’s thankful for every day in November.



HEFF:

Heff celebrated his 41st birthday with beer and tacos…





CYBERPETE:

The Infomaniac House of Couture kicks it up a notch.

Last week Tony bought a new hat and this week CyberPoof bought new shoes…





MAXI CANE:

Maxi’s started his own cuntry, er, country “Maxiland” and I’ve been made Minister of Filth in his Cabinet.





And finally…


SCARLET:

Miss Scarlet claims she’s not a ginger…






NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK



There IS no New Cunt of the Week.

New Cunts are you bitches who’ve been reading Infomaniac for 14 months or less and are frequent commenters.

Off the top of my head, that would be Leah, Heff, Maxi Cane, T-Bird, Random Chick, Ponygirl, Anonymous Boxer and Miss Scarlet.

Am I missing anyone?

Or did you miss out on being a New Cunt back when I was posting the Blogging Roundup on a regular basis? Then now’s your chance!

Simply send me a wee blurb about yourself; where you’re from, your interests, etc. and you too can be initiated as a new Infomaniac bitch.

Drunk of the Day

Welcome to another installment of Drunk of the Day.

Here we shall examine the wacky hijinks that folk get up to under the influence of alcohol.



Before we get started, let it be known that Mistress MJ secretly longs to drive a Zamboni but she is most likely to go off the boards like this woman…

THE DRUNK: Unnamed female Zamboni driver, age 34.

THE DISTRICT: Kingsville, Ontario, Canada. (approximately 35 kilometres southwest of Windsor, Ontario.)

THE DEED: The woman was charged with impaired driving after she was seen operating a Zamboni erratically at an arena, hitting the boards and falling asleep, slumped over the wheel.

A number of citizens told police, "I think the Zamboni driver is drunk."

The police sergeant observed the driver operating the machine in an erratic manner and missing large portions of the ice surface.

Police reported that she was found to have a flask of vodka in her front pants pocket.

THE DENOUEMENT: The woman is scheduled to appear in court in December on charges of impaired driving and having a blood alcohol level over 80 milligrams.




And in other Zamboni-related news, Republican vice-presidential candidate and hockey mom Sarah Palin claims that she “always wanted a son named Zamboni.”

Random Chick’s Favourite Post

It’s time for another installment of Your Favourite Post.



Today’s submission comes to us from Random Chick in San Francisco, California, USA.

Entitled, “Symbol of My Midlife Crisis”, you can CLICK HERE to read it.



Random Chick


Enjoy!

Filthy Friday - Hallowe'en Edition

Click pic to enlarge…

Infomaniac devotees worshiping at the altar of Mistress MJ


“What’s so filthy about that?” you ask.

As Infomaniac insiders, you know what’s really going on in this pic.

So tell us all about it.

Room With A View

So what’s the view like from where you’re sitting?

Try Something New Day!

It’s been almost a year since we held a Try Something New Day.




So let’s do it again!

What new activity will you be trying?

Blogging Roundup (cuntinued)

NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK



MEET GINRO!




Englishman Ginro first appeared on Infomaniac in September of this year; another innocent bystander lured in by this Filthy Friday posting.

Although secretly I think he’d been enjoying the Cake Farts video prior to that.

You may remember the day that Ginro contributed to our Blogging Tips and Tricks posting by writing upside down and backwards in the comments section.



Ginro (left) in the garden with Charlie Dimmock and Alan Titchmarsh...if I knew how to post this gif properly, Charlie Dimmock's tits would be swinging back and forth, alternately slapping Ginro and Alan TITchmarsh as they swung


UPDATE: That isn’t Ginro in the pic. If anyone knows who the bloke on the left is, please contact Ginro or Infomaniac.

UPDATE: Ginro informs us that the bloke on the left is Tommy Walsh from Ground Force.



Anyway, I’ll shut up and let Ginro take it from here.

From here on down, Ginro tells his tale. Enjoy…


Who am I?

I am a man that blogs. But would that be more along the lines of telling you what I am rather than who I am? Yes I guess so. I found this which was quite interesting, for several minutes: Who am I? I am a boy. I tried to put my age but it wouldn't let me go past nine years old. Well that figures, lol. Give me the hairstyle of your choice. Hair colour? Didn't have silver (my hair turned that colour in my late twenties when I got married) as an option so I had to go for blonde. I have a silly/bunny face. My pyjamas are, well I don't wear anything as a rule so I went with blue. And this is me. Fun for all of us.

Alternatively...

I was born some time ago.
My earliest memory is from when I was about 2 or 3 years old. I was in the back seat of a car, and the car was black.
When I was 5 I broke my arm.
However, we didn't know this until the doctor had a look at it the next day as the nurse that lived next door had told my Mum that it was just a sprain.
I still have the cast. Don't know why I kept it.
When I was 8 the girl across the road used to chase me everywhere trying to kiss me. Naturally, at that age I was repulsed.
When we met again, about fifteen years later, my eyes popped out as she was a babe. Unfortunately she was also married and then emigrated to Canada.
When I was 10 we went to live in Ceylon.
I had lots of adventures.
When I was 14 we returned.
I was 14 when I got my first offer of *hem hem* relations.
She was the same age as me, and in my class, but looked the spitting image of Lynsey De Paul.
As she looked back then that is, not as she is now.


Lynsey de Paul


We moved again when I was 15.
We moved again when I was 16.
I hated school so used to bunk off and stay at home reading my Dad's encyclopedias.
When I was 19 I got a job as a croupier.
When I was 21 I joined the army.
When I was 24 I went back to croupiering.
When I was 25 I went abroad and worked in illegal gambling dens.
It wasn't a lot of fun sometimes.
The police chased us a lot.
So did other people.
But again, I had lots of adventures.
When I came back I moved.
I worked in a casino.
I met my wife there.
She was watching me deal a game and leaning over the table, she said in a very loud voice, "I want to have your babies".
The customers just ignored her and carried on gambling.
I went into a little bit of shock and asked her if we could discuss this later.
Two years later we were married with a baby daughter.
I discovered I love children and want more.
Over the next few years things happened.
Some pleasant.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
My wife ran off with someone else.
It's a long story.
I raised my daughter.
I became a qualified PTI.
I went to college.
I went to Uni...
...several times.
Some things happened.
Some pleasant.
Some very sad.
Some completely loopy.
And here we are today.

Where am I from?

From a country far far away, in a land that time forgot. Actually when you want to know where I am from what do you mean? Where was I born? Where did I spend my childhood? Where did I go to school? Where have I spent most of my life? I will simply say, I was born in England and am an Englishman through and through.

My interests:

Well I love kittens and puppies, and I want to spread peace and love all around the world and if I win the Miss World competition I shall use the prize money to buy lots of balloons and spread happiness (*snort* yeh right as if l believe that garbage. I win the prize money and I'm off on a world cruise with a woman wearing kinky boots on each arm. Not wearing the boots on their arms I mean, but the women arm in arm with me).

One of my heroes is King Harold II.
I exercise a lot.
I am a martial artist and have been for over twenty years.
But I only train alone nowadays, as I'm tired of fighting full-contact.
It hurts, and I've done my time.
I am a bibliophile.
I smoke.
By that I mean roll-ups in liquorice paper.

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.



In case you missed it last week, Infomaniac has resumed posting the Blogging Roundup: documenting what you lot have been up to over the past week or so.



EDDIE WARING:

But before we get started, let’s extend a warm welcome back to everybody’s favourite British expatriate, Eddie Waring!


Eddie Waring's arse


There’s much to be told about Waring but we can best sum it up by telling you that his lad (his penis) can change the channels on telly with the remote control, he suffers from a sweaty arse crack and he enjoys having sex with Swiss Cheese.

I'm thrilled to have him back!



GEOFF:

Butter goes punk.


Johnny Rotten: pre-dairy-endorsement days

Geoff exposes former Sex Pistols’ front man Johnny Rotten celebrating the joys of British butter in this commercial…





OLD KNUDSEN:



Old Knudsen sticks it to that “big Texan twat” Dr. Phil.



GARFER:



Garfer has a go at the French.



TONY:

Tony gets a new hat!...





MANUEL:


Manuel’s big Irish arse in need of underpants



Manuel contemplates buying new underwear to replace his Incredible Hulk comedy pants.



Incredible Hulk gunties with extra elastic to contain big Irish arses





Inexplicable DeVice (IVD):


IVD gets lucky!

After months of living a monkish existence (aside from servicing the sailors down at the docks) IVD has finally pulled!

No details yet but we’re quite certain that for once, money was NOT involved.

Well done, IVD.

And IVD was interviewed here by Dinah.

In this exclusive interview, IVD admits he’s going mad. Something we long suspected.



NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK



“New Cunt of the Week” is a regular Blogging Roundup feature that welcomes new Infomaniac readers.

Since we hadn’t done a Blogging Roundup in over a year, there were quite a few “New Cunts.”

So even though you’ve seen the following bloggers here for months, they qualify as “New Cunts” since they’ve started visiting Infomaniac in the last 12-14 months (the date we temporarily stopped posting Blogging Roundups.)

Two New Cunts are featured here today: Carnalis and Inner Voices.



CARNALIS:




Carnalis joined Infomaniac back in December 2007 when she commented on a Filthy Friday posting.

Carnalis hails from the gentle, rolling green fields of south-west England.

In addition to being one of my rivals for Old Knudsen’s affections and his pee-stained cloth cap, she’s a saucy suburban mum who serves up a pot-pourri of cake, knickers, angst and occasional butt sex.

Interests: Boys and Old Knudsen's cap.



INNER VOICES:


Inner Voices likes to hang out with his buds

Inner Voices (from Big Sur, California) joined Infomaniac in February of this year when he commented on our Fun With Foreskin posting.

What could possibly be said about Inner Voices that isn’t already revealed in 101 Zack Facks?

To summarize: His favourite movie is The Sound of Music, his spelling and grammar sucks, he loves blowjobs (duh), he farts whenever he feels like it, he doesn’t own any underwear, he pees on stuff all the time, he has a big mouth (see photo) AND he’s half-Canadian.



Tomorrow on Infomaniac: A New Cunt from England…Ginro!

Ginro has so much to say that we’ve had to give him a separate posting!

Keeping it Gay

Mistress MJ will be keeping it gay and faggity today as she spends Saturday with one of her fave homosexualists.





Sunday will be spent recuperating from cocktails and churning out another exciting edition of Monday’s Blogging Roundup.

See you on Monday, bitches!

Filthy Friday

(click pic...you know the drill)

I Feel Pretty

A day of beauty and glamour await Mistress MJ as she enjoys a day at the spa.

Hair, nails, massage: the full package.


Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

What? You thought I just roll out of bed every morning looking this beautiful?

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.



Infomaniac finds itself in a quandary as there are two pervs vying for the title of Perv of the Day.


PERVERT #1:


Knicker-flasher Martyn Lamb: “I did it just to unwind during the day. I find it a release from my pressures.”


THE PERV: Martyn Lamb, age 40. Self-employed pest controller and father-of-three.

THE PLACE: Hambleton Junction near Selby, North Yorkshire, England.

THE PERVERSION: Revealing his skimpy lingerie and his genitals to passing train drivers – on at least 50 occasions - before picking his kids up from school.

Lamb wore lingerie under his work clothes and changed near the railway line, stripping down to a basque, stockings and high heels and a big blonde wig. A freight train driver witness reported that Lamb also wore “a denim miniskirt with brown stockings and a G-string."


"I've always put the wig on. It's the finishing touch of the day. I bought the lingerie from an Ann Summers shop a while ago.”

THE PUNISHMENT: Not guilty but cautioned for outraging public decency. The magistrate declared "not sufficient evidence" that he intentionally exposed himself.

Note from Mistress MJ: Lamb told police his wife knew nothing about his little “hobby”…perhaps therein lies the punishment when she finds out?


PERVERT #2:



THE PERV: A 29-year-old man. Name unreleased.

THE PLACE: Thomas Township, Michigan, USA.

THE PERVERSION: Arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

THE PUNISHMENT: Being held in the Saginaw County Jail.



We can’t decide who rates as the perviest Perv of the Day so it’s over to you, bitches.

Your verdict?

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.




Today marks the return of the Blogging Roundup, documenting what you lot have been up to over the past week or so.

It’s been over a year since we’ve had a Blogging Roundup. Tsk tsk.

Time does not permit us to post this on a regular basis nor to list each one of you bitches in its contents.

So shut up, grab a cocktail and enjoy.

Let’s get started with IVD and CYBERPETE who took Tim up on his challenge to apply a wonky-mouth to something with HI-larious results.


wonky-mouth


IVD posted this pic of his familiar “Beaky” with Wonky Mouth…




And CyberPoof applied wonky-mouth to a sculpture in Denmark…



Admit it, bitches. You want to play wonky-mouth too, don’t you?



KAZ:

KAZ asked Madonna to cover up her ageing body…





DONN:


Donnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Donn dealt with a case of Blog Theft with a plagiarist who had the nerve to copy and paste one of his original posts onto her blog.

Read Donn’s account here and the scumbag, er, I mean plagiarist’s response here.



OLD KNUDSEN:



Ladies, CLICK HERE to find out why Old Knudsen is Hot and Tasty.

Men, find out why your weemen cannot resist his charms.

“Do not watch if under the age of 18 or if you are easily offended by graphic sexual content involving badgers.”

Turn on your speakers and grab a dry pair of panties. You’ll need ‘em.



FROBISHER:

Frobi’s returned from his stint in sunny Spain and he’s promised us pics of hot Spanish men.

But so far, all we’ve got is a “pic of some thug who lived 5km walk from the villa and constantly made lewd & crude sexual suggestions to me, sometimes up to four times a day!”…



Followed by a film review of Mamma Mia!


Nothing to do with Mamma Mia



FIRST NATIONS:



The crafty Ms. Nations invites us to take up our buckets of premixed sheetrock mud and sheets of luan paneling.

I, for one, have plenty of this material on hand, don’t you?

You’ll also need 1 large bottle of Elmers CARPENTERS glue-NOT the white school stuff. I’ve enquired as to whether or not you can use salad cream instead.

Go over there with an "IDEA IN YOUR HEAD" and create a collage!




PUPPY & HIPPO:



Puppy ponders the flavor of Irn Bru: Scotland’s most popular soft drink.




RANDOM CHICK:

Need a laugh?

Got 46 seconds?

Then you’ll thank Random Chick for posting the “He's a Cat, Flushing the Toilet!” video…





And finally…

NEW CUNT OF THE WEEK



“New Cunt of the Week” is a regular Blogging Roundup feature that welcomes new Infomaniac readers.

Since this is our first Blogging Roundup in over a year, there are a lot of new cunts!

If you think you qualify as a “New Cunt of the Week”, email Infomaniac and tell us a bit about yourself. Just a wee blurb that tells the other bitches who you are, where you’re from, your interests, etc. Include a pic too if you like.

The only criteria is that you’ve become both a regular reader AND commenter on Infomaniac sometime within the past 12 months or so.

If selected, all newcomers will be featured on next Monday’s Blogging Roundup in the New Cunt of the Week section!



Note: No new posting ‘til Wednesday.

Happy Birthday, Daisy!

Birthday greetings go out today to our Daisy (from Illinois … The Corn State!)

Daisy is busy packing at this very moment for a trip to the UK.

She’ll be meeting up with some of Infomaniac’s lucky British bitches while she’s there.

Rumour has it that Beast will be showing Daisy his Dyson crevice tool!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news, tune in on Monday for a rare treat.

I’m shocked and appalled that we haven’t done a Blogging Roundup in over a year!

For those of you who are new to Infomaniac, Blogging Roundup is a peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.

Look for it tomorrow. You may be in it!

Glow in the Dark

Mistress MJ could really use one of these when she’s looking for her cocktail at 3 in the morning…



These “Glow Rings” are rubber bands that glow in the dark to help you locate your beverage in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, they’re no longer available.

If you had these glow-in-the-dark rubber bands, what would you do with them?

Or, what product or item would be useful to you if it glowed in the dark?