Thursday, September 12, 2013

While You're Waiting...

Please wait for the next available representative. Someone will be with you shortly.


While you're waiting for Part Five of Let's Bring Back, Mistress MJ is putting you on hold.

What is the longest you've been placed on hold during a telephone call?

And which companies are the worst for wait times?

And does an actual human being ever answer the phone anymore or is it always an automated voice?

Mistress MJ will return soon. Your call is important to us.


  1. The most I ever hold is ten minutes, unless it's for the internets, then the sky's the limit...

  2. thank god i didn't find P-Q-R-S!

    i would've SCREAMED!

  3. comcast should burn in hell from all their prompts.

    not even gonna speak of the rhodes
    scholars who finally help you.

    1. Well, it is an isolated foreign island, Rhodes....

  4. I got fucked about by an interweb provider for over an hour trying to access an email account. By the time i'd been sent around incircles by a machine pressing this button and that button... I then eventually after being told for the 53rd time how important my call was to them spoke to someone... I think was a person... in India and then the philipines. I was pretty pissed off... All i wanted was to reset my password as i'd forgorten it... Threw them into chaos cos i didnt have a mobile number for them to text a new password to me!
    In the end i suggested they read out the new password over the phone so i could write it down... This seemed like such a novel idea that a supervisor then had to get involved to OK the process while I got put back on hold!

  5. ... and take your feet off the furniture. Also, did you put a towel on that chair before you hunkered down?

  6. Maybe it's beause I always ask to be served in French, but so far, I've never waited more than 10-15 minutes and always had my problem solved in even less.... although I've had trouble understanding some people... the kind of French spoken in Côte-d'Ivoire or Sénégal is rather different from the one spoken here and can be quite difficult to decipher.

  7. Deutsche Telekom.

    Just shoot them.

  8. Hello?... Oh it's you again Anne... Do you know any other tunes... this is your 17th reprise darling... what have you done with that helpful Indian man I was talking ...beeep...beeep...beeep

  9. BITCHES: Please check the number and dial again.