Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Back to School - Career Corner

Are you a woman over 40? Of course you are.

Now that school is back in session, we here at Infomaniac offer the "mature" student an appealing career training opportunity.



Important, well-paid positions and a sound future await the woman who trains as a FLORIST.

If you want to work in a flower shop or open your own shop, write today for information on how to become a florist. If you are a flower lover but do not wish to become a professional florist, ask about our course in Home and Show flower arrangement.

Why not start your own home flower delivery service? Imagine the fascinating people you'll meet!...


[via]

Now that you've seen one of our career options, tell us what you'd REALLY choose to do if you could make a career change.

36 comments:

  1. I think someone is needed to knit and supply blankets to naked people with badly upholstered furniture.... so maybe I will do this.
    Qx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Miss Scarlet.

      I didn’t want to get out the plastic slipcovers again.

      Delete
  2. No change. I'm happy with the pillow fluffing and occasional IT consulting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For that response, you deserve a prize.

      Delete
    2. That ain't fair. LX always wins!

      *pouts*

      Delete
    3. Deal with it.

      LX provides special IT and pillow fluffing services.

      Delete
  3. Since I'm broke, I wonder if Reginald accepts payment in... special favors!


    Career change? Well OBVIOUSLY, a PORN STAR!

    DUH!

    ReplyDelete
  4. what was it gert said?

    a rose is a rose is a rose.

    of course, she wasn't looking at harold
    on that loveseat or maybe she was?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Replies
    1. NORMA: Mr. DeMille will be pleased to hear that.

      Delete
  6. I want to be either an opera soprano or a blimp pilot...

    ReplyDelete
  7. a dancer on Broadway or a high priced call boy er....man

    ReplyDelete
  8. When florists get depressed... do they photosympathize?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY: Is that a rimshot I hear?

      Delete
    2. absa-fucking-lootley!

      muy bien princess!

      Delete
  9. If i ever get a career and then decide to change it... I want to become a slut... no wait... I think i already did that one...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY: May we also remind you that “fairy princess” is not a career option.

      Delete
  10. I'm happy with my positions at the Infomaniac Mansion.

    In real life I travel the beautiful Gulf of Mexico making peoples lives prettier. Also, I've recently and accidentally entered the lucrative and strange world of the bail bonds business. Really.

    If I could make a change I would be a filmmaker.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AYEM8Y: Bail bondsman? I'm picturing you as a much hotter "Max Cherry" in the film "Jackie Brown."

      I've seen some of your shorts (films, that is) and you've got the right stuff to be a filmmaker.

      Delete
  11. I could always pop over to Damien's and see if there is a position open for a new butt slapper and arse kisser....

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sory the Last link didn't work, try it again now... but i think you know the way...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY: I'm sure Damien wants all the action for himself but it's worth a try.

      Delete
  13. I would like my very own guest house in Blackpool, it would be a bit like Trades 'speciality lodging' guesthouse but classier and a lot cleaner. It will be called Xanadu. "There Is Room To Roam At Xanadu".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "where you can prowl the corridors, at night, totally naked, have fun in the corridors, & open room doors to have "fun" with the room occupants."

      I want to be the first to book a room at Xanadu! :)

      Delete
    2. With a name like Xanadu, I'm expecting houseboys on roller skates.

      I'm not surprised Huggy Jon's booked a room already considering those filthy reviews.

      Mitzi, would you consider guest blogging a few lodging reviews here on Infomaniac? You have a natural flair for the hospitality industry.

      Delete
    3. I shall call myself Madame Xanadu and become Blackpool's answer to Cynthia Payne, but without the luncheon vouchers.

      You can have your very own garret Jon, where the live-in whores sleep.

      I have actually stayed at Trades in my youth and could tell you a few stories.

      I would love to MJ.

      Delete
  14. I hate to work. I am bone idle.

    But I'd become a blacksmith. Hard to find a place in Europe where you can still learn the profession.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MAGO: It’s a niche market but there are colleges that offer programmes here in Canada.

      Delete
  15. Much like Mitzi, I want to run a trailer park, some place for all the Infomaniac tramps to call home. I would name it peenee's Park n' Pitstop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PEENEE: I could make you manager of the Infomaniac Trailer Park.

      But you’re not getting your name on the sign.

      Delete