Monday, September 09, 2013

Let's Bring Back: Part Two, D-G

Welcome to Part Two of "Let's Bring Back." If you missed our discussion on what this is all about, click here.

Note: If an item on this list is highlighted in blue, you can click on it, if you wish, for a description.

Let's bring back...

Discreet voices



We do not want to hear your cell phone conversation. Do not make us print out this guide on How To Practice Cell Phone Etiquette and shove it down your throat.



Door-holding etiquette





A polite gesture that only takes a moment and your good manners will be appreciated...sometimes. 

I'm surprised by the number of people who do not say "thank you" when the door is held open for them. Nonetheless, I shall continue to hold doors open. But I'll remember your face, beeyotch, and the door will be slammed shut in it next time.


Dressing screens





Disappear behind a dressing screen and saucily toss your petticoat over the side as you continue to undress.



Elegance



When Suzy Parker gracefully steps out of this car, not only will she look fabulous; her knees will stay together.



Elevator operators





That's right. Men and women in uniform used to press the elevator buttons FOR you!

"Ground floor: Perfumery, stationery, and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, kitchenware and food. Going up..."

And while we're at it, let's bring back beautiful elevators like this Canadian Art Deco beauty!





Evening strolls



Rather than collapsing onto the couch for a night of TV re-runs, get up off yer arse and enjoy a leisurely stroll through your neighbourhood.

You can gossip about your neighbours' decorating tastes. It's easier to see into their houses when their lights are on at night!



Fainting couches



I couldn't do without mine. Hand me my cold compress and vacate the room, please.


Fans, handheld



Not simply a charming way to keep cool, handheld fans have their own secret language!...





Garden parties





Tea, cocktails, finger foods, and croquet and horseshoes in a idyllic outdoor setting.

Not your typical BBQ with Uncle Fred showing up in his "Kiss the Cook" apron with a burnt weenie.


Which of the above would you Bitches like to bring back?

And would you add anything to this "D-G" list?

Come back soon for Let's Bring Back: Part Three. 

61 comments:

  1. Can we bring back Suzy Parker?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AYEM8Y & COOKIE: Couldn’t one of YOU play Suzy?

      A little “Elizabeth Arden Bye Lines anti wrinkle serum” and a heavy hand with the concealer and you’re good to go!

      Wait a minute…

      Didn’t Suzy have a sister, Dorian Leigh?

      You two Bitches could be a sister act!

      Delete
    2. cookie can play the OTHER sister,
      dorian gray. on second thought,
      cookie can play the painting in the attic.

      Delete
    3. NORMA: Ha!

      There were two other sisters as well…Florian(rhymes with Dorian) and Georgiabell.

      Here’s a photo.

      Delete
  2. ...I am off to practice my fan technique... I will do it behind a screen... on my fainting couch.
    Qx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISS SCARLET: I’ll hold the door open for you.

      Delete
  3. It's years since I saw a lady with a fan. Dressing screens are called "Spanische Wand" here, actually I have two (modern ones) in my bureau; and a couch, not a real fainting couch, but only a simple red thing.
    A garden party would be wounderful, with the first stiff drink just before dinner and some pool and drinks afterwards. And who'd yell in his cellphone while near the table would be smacked with the Billardqueue ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MAGO: "Spanische Wand" means “Spanish Wall.”

      And yet dressing screens were invented in China…so they should be named “Wall of China”…I crack myself up.

      Your bureau sounds very inviting. Would you consider psychoanalyzing me on that couch?

      Delete
    2. Full service for the Mistress!

      Delete
    3. MAGO: Well, I had this dream…

      Delete
  4. If I had Comment of the Week awards, this would win: "When Suzy Parker gracefully steps out of this car, not only will she look fabulous; her knees will stay together."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. COOKIE: It’s not as good as your "Zuckerberg you midget cock punching mother fucking father sucking piss drinking asshole" but I thank you nonetheless.

      Delete
  5. I ask, can one have ENOUGH fainting couches, fans and garden parties? I do miss elevator operators, it's always nice to get a ass pinch from one! Two place in Philadelphia still have one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: TWO places in Philly have elevator operators?

      If you remember the names, let me know.

      I might send you on a fact-finding mission for Infomaniac.

      Delete
  6. I, too, long for the days of Downton Abbey and Brideshead Revisted... Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JON: I can just picture you swanning about the grounds of Highclere Castle or Castle Howard with your ascot and Panama hat.

      Or an Edwardian frock as the case may be.

      Delete
    2. ...desperately seeking Scudder... Jx

      Delete
    3. JON: Stairway to heaven!

      Delete
  7. Yes to all, except the occasional Elegance exception for Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LX: Mentioning B.S. and P.H. could get you Banned By Infomaniac!

      Delete
  8. I'm all for mobile phone ettiquette... There should be a test one must pass before purchase.
    I know of one "Elevator" or as we like to call them "Lift" operator still working in Melbourne.
    It is like walking into a small snapshot gallery of history of the female operators life.. the walls of the lift litterally covered in photos of pets, children, grandchildren and all sorts of post cards and letters from lift users from over the many years of working in the job.

    I'm keen for the return of all of the above!
    Particulatly keeping ones knees together when alighting from ones carriage....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY: It gives me a “lift” to hear that elevator operators are still in business.

      It’s a job that has its “ups and downs.”

      Delete
  9. I read that as "farting couches"
    But then again, times used to be more civilized.

    I would like to see a return to hats and gloves...saying "yes sir and ma'am"...and casual sex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JASON: Farting on my fainting chaise is verboten.

      You’ll have to wait ‘til Part Three for “Hats.”

      As for gloves, yes, they’ll be included, but oddly not under “D-G”…all will be revealed in a further installment.

      Delete
  10. Thankfully there are still many elegant elevators in NYC along with their operators, I have been privileged to enjoy both.
    I never stopped holding doors for people and I've been widely known as quite the hostess of chic garden parties although I've never been to one myself (If only I had met Maddie six months earlier I'd have a witness here!!!).

    I've had plenty of fainting couches (for anyone that has to listen to me for extended periods of time).

    And THANK YOU, for bringing up the telephone etiquette (honestly, step aside people and enjoy your call, privately)...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WALLY: Why have I never seen an elevator operator in NYC?

      Perhaps it’s because I was too busy blowing the waiter in the Oyster Bar.

      Delete
    2. Almost all pre-war buildings still have operators, it is the law there. They also have one of the strongest unions in NYC.

      Which waiter..???

      Delete
    3. WALLY: The same one you blew, no doubt.

      I’m really going to have to retrace my steps. I’ve been in many pre-war NYC buildings but I'm embarrassed to say that I don’t recall the operators.

      Am I losing the plot? Or was I just too excited about being in the big city to notice? (NYC energizes me like crazy.)

      Delete
  11. Now we know where the hanky code comes from.

    I'm not good with the rules of etiquette, dear Mistress, but I always do my best to make myself as invisible as possible. I don't like to attract attention on myself. I can walk into a room and leave and nobody will notice. The proof is no one will know I came here today.

    Hugs
    Jon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BITCHES: Was Huggy Jon here?

      I smell poutine.

      Delete
  12. I'm al for bringing back fans. I can snap them open with one saucy flick of the wrist, a talent that just goes to waste.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have the kind of eyes that go all up and down a man's body like a searchlight...

      Delete
    2. Peenee’s gone all Karl Lagerfeld on us.

      Delete
    3. Fitting to Karl's birthday ...

      Delete
    4. MAGO: Oh my, Karl Lagerfeld turns 80 today!

      Delete
  13. there's a lot of barbara stanwyck
    here....did her lobbyists get to you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: Well, there’s that first dressing screen photo… *scrolls down*

      Goodness, you’re right!

      I’ve just realized the Ziegfeld Girl with the handheld fan is Barbara Stanwyck.

      Good eye, Norma.

      Which is encouraging since your teeth are rotting and your uterus has prolapsed.

      Delete
    2. but i'm not suffering with whatever that mesh problem is that fills tv commercial space daily.

      not yet, anyway.

      Delete
    3. Oh geez, Norma, I’m going to have nightmares about that.

      Delete
  14. i'd love garden parties to come back,
    but you need to have slaves to make
    them work smoothly. oh, maybe
    "slavery" will be in the "R-T" post?

    i just adore nostalgia!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: Or I might pull a fast one on you and put it under “O” for “Oubliette.”

      Delete
  15. How about those old diners/snack bars/ice cream parlour? There are still many in the US but over here...

    The hell with the McDonalds, Harveys, Burger Kings, Wendys, etc..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes!
      Diner cars were so cool, they should never have gone away.

      Delete
    2. HUGGY JON & WALLY: Diners should definitely be listed here. In fact, Mistress MJ has had the pleasure of visiting many original diners, especially those in the U.S. northeast, where they were most plentiful at one time.

      It’s funny that you mention McDonalds and those other fast-food atrocities because I popped into a McDonalds recently (it was the only place open where I could get a coffee that early in the morning) and I looked around at the clientele who were ordering McMuffins and wondered, “Have any of these people ever eaten a delicious, hearty breakfast in an original, atmospheric diner?” Not bloody likely.

      I have a small collection of books about diners and I recommend “American Diner: Then and Now” by Richard J.S. Gutman…if it’s still in print.

      Is the Galaxie Diner still in business in Montréal, Huggy Jon?

      If so, it’s one of the last remaining original diners in Canada although there are still some good “greasy spoon” restaurants to be found. That’s another thing we can add to our “D-G” list… greasy spoons.

      One of my favourite diners is the Highland Park Diner in Rochester, New York. I haven’t been there in a long time so I can’t vouch for the food but last time I visited it was worth the trip. It’s an architectural gem.

      Delete
    3. Malheureusement, the Galaxie has been destroyed... I haven't been in this part of the neighbourhood for more than 5-6 years. The building is still there, at least there is something that looks like the old dinner but everything is changed around it. I snap this picture from Google StreeView. That building on the left wasn't there back then!

      The Bistrot Universel across the Parc Lafontaine was the last place where you could get a real breakfast. The restaurant is still open but has changed name and managment and the food is not as good.

      Even sushi joints aren't what they use to be. I love Japanese cuisine but they are now managed quite like fast food joints. I'm still faithful to Isakaya on Park Avenue. The lunch menu is interesting with affordable prices. And the ambiance is very "zen". And everyone working there are Japanese and are totally delighted when who come in and say "Konnichi wa. O genki des'ka!".

      And although I still go to Le Commensal, it has also lost it's edge. This place used to be the rally point of the socialists\progressists\activists crowd. It's now become the outlet of the snobish upper middle class.

      Ach! I'm sounding like a old fart now!






      Delete
    4. HUGGY JON: The Galaxie’s gone? I wonder what they did with the diner. There are diners for sale online. Let’s hope it found a good home.

      As far as Montreal eateries with character are concerned, I used to eat at Beautys on Mont-Royal West but it’s too expensive.

      Let's bring back DELICATESSENS or “delis” as they’re commonly known.

      I used to go to Bens on De Maisonneuve Boulevard before it closed and the building was demolished.

      The smoked meat sandwiches were small and not the best in town but I liked the interior of the deli.

      The line-ups at Schwartz’s are too long. I don’t have the patience to wait.

      Getting back to fast food, have you ever had a “steamie” at Resto Lafleur? Terrible ambience….orange décor and fluorescent lights! But decent steamies if you enjoy fast food.

      Delete
  16. I grew up 5 minutes away from the ORIGINAL Lafleur, on the corner of Lafleur Street (thus the name) and Clément Street. It was only a small pit-stop back then. You walked in some kind of cabin, put your order and sat on a wooden bench until they call your number. They now have a salle à manger.

    When I want a good steamie, I go to LaSalle Drive-in. Was also a pit-stop until they build the dinig room 12 or 13 years ago. It's nicely located just next to the Fleuve Saint-Laurent on LaSalle blvd. In the summer, you can eat on the terrasse just 10 feet away from the water: very idyllic. I'm planning a little visit this week. Are the steamies better than Lafleur? I couldn't tell. Anyways, I prefer my hotdogs in a toasted bread. HA!

    Mont-Royal is one of my favorite hangout place in Montreal and yet, I never noticed this little launcheonette. But I tend to stroll more along the East side of Mont-Royal (between St-Denis and Papineau) rather then the West, where Beautys is located.

    Ben was THE place in the 50's, 60's and 70's, then began the slow decline. I never went there nor have I ever been to Schwartz's.

    I've tried many time Frite Alors!, on St-Denis with their alleged authentic Belgian French Fries. Not so bad. But not enough to climb up the curtains either! Check out the "location" page of their website for pictures of all the fanchises.

    Some of nicest restaurant are not the most talked about or easiest to find. My late partner and I often lunched at Amelios in a basement, on the corner of Ste-Famille and Milton in the McGill gettho. It's very popular among the grad students at McGill University just a few blocs away. Nice little italian restaurant

    ReplyDelete
  17. Second floor carpets,
    travel goods and bedding,
    material, soft furnishings,
    restaurant and teas. Going down!

    Bring back teasmaids!

    Gavin Ramsbottom from Benidorm likes to use a fan, they're very common over there. The next time I visit Spain I'll bring you one back and you can pretend you're Lady Windermere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kabuki always packs elegance in a small chanel bag, which is demurely concealed in kabuki's kimono

      Delete
    2. HUGGY JON: Thanks for all the dining links.

      I thought it was called “Resto Lafleur” because it was owned by Guy Lafleur! I guess I was wrong. I go to the Resto Lafleur on Rue Saint-Denis in the Carré Saint-Louis area.

      Each time I go to Montréal I visit Pizzeria Napoletana on Dante Street near the Jean-Talon Market. It’s AVV … “apportez votre vin,” excellent food, and an all-male wait staff. Try their Spicy Italian sausage appetizer! ... The menu’s spicy Italian sausage OR the wait staff’s spicy Italian sausage…teehee.

      Then, for dessert, I walk a few doors down to Pasticceria Alati-Caserta for their cannoli.

      Buon appetito.


      MITZI: What is a teasmaid?

      I would treasure a fan from Spain. I already have a mantilla.


      kabuki: Let’s bring back kabuki zero!!!

      Delete
    3. Italian waiters offering their sausages as appetizer??? Now why didn't you say it sooner! I'm on my way!

      Delete
    4. Teasmade I don't know where I got teasmaid from.

      Delete
    5. MITZI: "They were the Devil's invention, Teasmade."

      If these were on the U.S. market, millions of people would be suing for injury.

      Delete
  18. kabuki requires a perfectly chilled glass of champagne and one expensive-ass chocolate truffle. merci

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kabuki: Mistress MJ cautions against using the words “ass” and “chocolate” in the same sentence.

      Delete
  19. Today Montreal featured in Die Sueddeutsche newspaper travelling tips here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MAGO: The article says, "When in Montreal, for a good time call Huggy Jon."

      Delete
  20. Does anyone of you have been confronted with the "Door Hold Dilemma"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HUGGY JON: That should be banned.

      Delete