Sunday, September 15, 2013

Let's Bring Back: Part Six, T-Z

Welcome to Part Six of "Let's Bring Back." If you missed our discussion on what this is all about, click here.

Note: If an item on this list is highlighted in blue, you can click on it, if you wish, for a description.

Let's bring back...

Table manners


Table etiquette is a topic we'll explore further in future but for now, here are the basics of what diners need to know but don't always remember:

1. Chew with your mouth closed and do not talk with food in your mouth.
2. Turn your cell phone off at the table.
3. Always say "please" and "thank you."

I should also like to point out that pleasant dinner conversation does not include the details of your colonoscopy.


Bespoke clothing for men and women are made-to-order, hand-made garments, customized specifically for you, by a skilled tailor. Your pattern is then stored by the tailor for future reference should you wish to order another garment.

Bespoke suits fit beautifully and comfortably and are of the highest craftsmanship. Every man should enjoy the luxury of owning a bespoke suit.

Be advised: Your tailor may ask whether you dress to the right or the left. Depending on your answer, the tailor will cut the cloth of your trousers to accommodate your "member" to make sure you get the best possible fit.

Top hats for formal occasions

Not only will you look dapper, a top hat will conceal your bald spot.



Our Normadesmond never leaves home without a turban.



It wasn't long ago that typewriters were a standard piece of equipment in every office and in many homes.

Times have changed...

...but my love of the typewriter lingers.

I like the clickety-clack sound they make as you strike the keys and the cheery "ding" of the bell as you approach the end of a line of prose.

I'm sure nobody today misses using correction fluid. There is definitely something to be said for the "delete" button on computers. Nor do you have to deal with jammed keys and changing the ribbon on a computer as you do on a typewriter. But consider this...typewriters, unlike computers, were built to last a lifetime.

Typewriters of famous people...


But is the typewriter dead? Those who belong to the typosphere are keeping it alive.

Typewriter enthusiasts take note: A documentary film entitled "The Typewriter (In The 21st Century)" has received a distribution deal. You can watch the trailer here.

Vanity tables

A vanity table is a "dressing table used to apply makeup, preen, and coif hair. The table is normally quite low and similar to a desk, with drawers and one or more mirrors atop. Either a chair or bench is used to sit upon."

A well-dressed vanity table would include matching hand mirrors and hairbrushes as part of a "toilette set."

The word "mirror" was once considered vulgar and middle-class by the upper classes who referred to mirrors instead as "looking glasses."

Wouldn't you feel more glamorous getting ready for your soirée at a vanity table?


Think Oscar Wilde or Dorothy Parker...

...or our very own Infomaniac Bitches.

Give yourselves a round of applause.

You're all FABULOUS and a constant source of amusement to me.

The Ziegfeld Follies

Let's bring back the lavish song and dance revues that were the Ziegfeld Follies. Famous for its top entertainers and beautiful chorus girls (known as Ziegfeld Girls,) these elaborate theatrical productions ran from 1907 through 1931 on Broadway.

Above: Dolores Costello: Ziegfeld Girl and Drew Barrymore's grandmother. Note that she is standing in front of a "dressing screen" which we brought back in Part Two of this series.

Ziegfeld Girls who went on to fame include Barbara Stanwyck, Paulette Goddard, Joan Blondell, Louise Brooks, Gypsy Rose Lee, and Josephine Baker, amongst others.

Their daring, dazzling, opulent costumes were worth the price of admission alone, designed by the likes of Erté and Lady Duff Gordon.

Ziegfeld Girls: The Dolly Sisters

Mary Nolan aka Imogene Wilson, Cobra costume, Ziegfeld Follies, 1920

We here at Infomaniac would not only like to bring back the Ziegfeld Follies, we'd like to see an all-male revue too!

Which of the above would you Bitches like to bring back?

And would you add anything to this "T-Z" list?


  1. I still use my blue 1972 Smith-Corona Electra 120 typewriter! Most often for addressing envelopes.

    1. LX: Do you ever have this problem with your cats?

      I know they’ve asked to have their own blog.

  2. Replies
    1. HUGGY JON: But let’s not bring back their beards.

  3. I hadn't known that you had norma over for dinner...

  4. Bring back something starting with the letter"U" for Underkerstumbles

    I'm still tailoring/dressmaking and costuming darling... By the way... To which side do you dress?

    I even have my grandmothers old Queen Anne vanity table tho the matching seat went missing years ago... oh and a looking glass...

    It's funny but Martini's have a similar effect on me...
    One and I feel it...
    Two... and anybody can!

    1. PRINNY: Is that your personal collection of Understumbles?

      Speaking of the letter “U,” let’s get rid of my uterus and not bring it back.

      To which side do I dress? My tailor makes adjustments for my camel toe.

  5. Oh table manners ... oh dear ... I once changed the place in a train because a "person" was that loud "eating" - like a pig sty, really unbearable.

    I vaguely remember that there was an advice that while in civilised society one does not finger orifices of the body (start with the eyes and then work down). Today you can watch a thorough self-exploration on public transport, the post office, the super market (the larger the worse) ...

    Anyway - Norma looks hot!

    1. MAGO: Let’s ban germs and not bring them back.

    2. i'm fingering an orifice
      as i type, with my eyes.

  6. when being measured at the tailor's,
    he looked up at me & said,
    "where shall i put this?"
    i merely looked down at him
    & he replied, "okay, i know."

    we didn't need dialog.
    i can say anything i want with my eyes.

    1. NORMA: You can say anything you want with your eyes?

      Well, that’s not surprising, considering you were a silent film star.

    2. Norma can zap anything, with her eyes.

    3. Her eyes never close because she wraps those turbans so tight...

    4. Norma taught Bette D. - and the rest is history ...

      Interesting side note: Ms Costello's career came to an end because of "the destructive effects of early film makeup, which ravaged her complexion too severely to camouflage". Like Elizabeth I.? Did they still use lead?

    5. MAGO: Lead in cosmetics should be banned (just like LX and Mr. Peenee) but it can still be found in some lipsticks.

      Aside from lead, here are 12 ingredients to avoid in cosmetics & skin care products.

  7. Definitely turbans. So glam when swanning about, discussing ones colonoscopy.

    1. PEENEE: Which part of “Banned By Infomaniac” do you not understand?

      Don’t think donning a turban will disguise you from me.

  8. In Japan, it is condidered good manner to make as much noise as possible when eating your noodles.

    1. HUGGY JON: Good for the Japanese.

      But when dining chez Infomaniac, do as Mistress MJ tells you to do.

  9. Mike Nesmith out of The Monkees, his mother invented correction fluid.

    Watching my maid of all work Carmen eat isn't a pleasant experience, her problem is she only has the one mouth. I've said on many occasion, why don't you have your mouth widened, so you can cram bacon sandwiches in without biting them in two.

    1. MITZI: If Carmen were a futakuchi-onna, she could enjoy those bacon butties to the fullest.

      And then slurp up those noodles that Huggy Jon was talking about.

    2. *crosses himself*

  10. You can probably get an app for the clickety-clack sound of the typewriter.

    1. You are absolutely correct, Miss Scarlet.

      Noisy Typer is a free Mac app that plays typewriter sounds as you type.

    2. The NSA has a free app called Nosey Typer! Guess what it does!


    3. LX: Are you here all week?

  11. Top hats, turbans, tailoring (some may say "Follies") - all in the wardrobe here at Dolores Delargo Towers! Alas, no vanity table... Jx

    1. JON: What’s sticking out of your topknot?

      I’m not sure a top hat or a turban can cover that.

    2. And I thought it was Harry Potter's wand.