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Let's bring back...
Letter openers
Do you use a butter knife to open your mail? Put that butter knife down now! Everyone knows that butter knives are meant for hotkniving, not opening letters.
Instead, use a decorative letter opener to open your handwritten thank you notes.
Lighthouse keepers
Before lighthouses became automated (like every other ****ing thing today,) someone had to climb all those stairs to maintain the lighthouse; guiding mariners and keeping them safe from crashing onto the rocks.
Long cigarette holders
You already know of my affinity for smoking accoutrements.
Love letters
[via]
Sexting is the new love letter. We say bring back the original love letter. On paper.
Maps
When this sort of thing stops happening, perhaps I'll use GPS.
Besides, new research shows that drivers are better off using road maps than satellite navigation systems.
Nosegays
Originating in Medieval times, nosegays (or "tussie mussies") were small bouquets of flowers worn to ward off unpleasant odors. One simply turned one's head to the side, breathing in the sweet scent, thus keeping the nose "gay" or happy.
They were often carried in exquisite little cones such as this, that dangled from the finger by a ring until they were needed...
Nosegays...far more enchanting than Febreze.
Ornate ceilings
You Bitches spend most of your time on your back. Why not have something beautiful to look at?
Which of the above would you Bitches like to bring back?
And would you add anything to this "L-O" list?
Come back soon for Let's Bring Back: Part Five.
I often use a long cigarette holder made of amber. My nose gay approves.
ReplyDeleteFIRST!
AYEM8Y: The “Nose Gay Seal of Approval” is even more prestigious than the much coveted "Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval."
DeleteI tried a fetching nose gay in the drawer where Mr Beastie keeps his purple lurex posing pouch. Unfortunately the nose gay failed and I will have to go back to industrial strength Fabreze. I did try though.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I am writing love letters with a nib and ink for all my lovely readers.
Qx
MISS SCARLET: Funny you should mention your nib as I’ll be mentioning it in Let’s Bring Back: Part Five.
DeleteAh Maps! I love them. I still use them if having to drive to unfamiliar territory... None of this electronic gadgetry for me...
ReplyDeleteWhat ever happened to checking your map and then actually watching the road ahead?
It seems that people's trust has been misplaced in technology... As far as gadgetry in cars is conscerned... Ban it... Ban it now I say...
PRINNY: Ban gadgetry in cars, you say?
DeleteConsider it done.
I had to peel it off LX’s forehead.
Whatever happened to lavender bags and pomanders?
ReplyDeleteMITZI: Lavender sachets were tucked into my old great-aunties’ knickers drawers, as I recall. Although why I had any reason to be in their knickers drawers is beyond me.
DeleteI have a lemon on its last legs in the fruit bowl…perhaps I’ll make a pomander. You wouldn’t stick a pomander in your knickers drawer though, would you?
7 Things to do with a lemon. I wouldn't recommend popping one in your knicker drawer as it might attract fruit flies, and you know how people talk!
DeleteMITZI: Could I pop a lemon in my knickers to ensure lemony freshness?
Deletemy god, she's relentless.
ReplyDeleteNORMA: You’re lucky I’m not writing this series in Cambodian.
DeleteTheir alphabet has 74 characters as opposed to our 26.
Well I must have never sprung forward because I have not one, but two letter openers, and only used a long cigarette holder when in drag. One time I did have to set a guy right because he said my nosegay smelled wonderful. I was impressed he knew the word nosegay, but said honey, that ISN'T a nosegay. And do dirty text messages count as love letters?
ReplyDeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: Read the fine print.
DeleteSexting does not count!
Oh yes, I did see that, but my opera glasses were all streamed up!
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: “O” for opera glasses…let’s bring them back!
Deletei have some old road maps...just recently threw out an old LA map book. you know, the famous one.
ReplyDeletei'm just imagining if adrian brody were gay...and with that nose.
NORMA: Are you referring to the LA map book that was written in the Colonial Era?
DeleteYou purchased the first edition hot off the presses, did you not?
And I find Adrien Brody’s nose very appealing. I have had impure thoughts about it, in fact.
I think I sat on Adrien Brody's nose....and liked it!
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: You should set that to music.
DeleteYou’d become a sensation and marry Russell Brand...or Adrien Brody.
Thank you, MJ, for bringing back those wonderful things of the gracious past. A pox on technology!
ReplyDeleteCANADIAN GIRL: If it didn’t mean giving up blogging and Coronation Street, I’d become Amish.
DeleteI use the Texas roadmap almost every Friday night this time of year to find obscure little towns for the weekly football game. In a couple of weeks it will be dark enough to see the glow of the stadium lights miles before entering town.
ReplyDeleteLX: What a curious pastime you have.
DeleteAlmost as offbeat as your Ren Faire.
i have a tacky letter opener/business card thingy i open mail with. there's nothing special about it, but it is SOMETHING.
ReplyDeletelighthouses, their keepers and love letters are three things that are so far from my life, so remote, i can't even imagine what they are. but dearest, sweetest, most hard working Manilla Junket, i hope the chap in the birdsnest espies a bobbing coke bottle with a luscious love letter, written especially for YOU! maybe a titanic relic?
what, you don't find sprayed popcorn ceilings attractive?
And speaking of Norma, did I miss the ear trumpet? I have to go back to the "E" and find out. I'm no good without my opera glasses.
DeleteNORMA: Stucco is Banned By Infomaniac.
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: I’ll have to do a separate post for all the things we missed in the original Let’s Bring Back series.
I’ve been basing the list soley on the “Let’s Bring Back” book by Lesley M. M. Blume but adding my own commentary.
My letter opener has the form of a Samurai sword and is pretty sharp. I like the thing and it's used for letter opening only.
ReplyDeleteI think all lighthouses are automated these days, now and then men vanished. When I smoked non-filter cigarettes I used a short holder - a very practical device that helps to keep your fingers and lips clean! Love letters, maps and ornate ceilings never went out of fashion - nice Bändelwerk in the last picture. "Sexting" is the opposite to a love letter I think. A love letter expresses inclination and is meant to court the addressee, while "sexting" just satisfies the exhibitionism of the sender: The main interest is not the one who receives the message - this can be hundreds - but the ego of the sender. A love letter can only be addressed to one person. "Exhibitionism" describes or is the basis of many of the nerve wracking, un-elegant or plain reckless and stupid things we have to encounter in modern life.
Nosegays are great, in some areas of Franconia one would wish to be wrapped in a bouquet; a scented handkerchief may do; was it Citroen who have built a perfume spender in one of their cars as standard?
MAGO: I have no doubt your sword is sharp. Ahem.
DeleteA handful of manned lighthouses remain but their numbers have dwindled dramatically. I’d never heard the Flannan Isles lighthouse keepers story so thank you.
One is more likely to encounter nice Bändelwerk, as you call it, in Europe rather than in Canada or the United States.
I’ve just done a little research and you’re right… Citroen added a perfume dispenser to one of their models.
And I'm sure your lemon is fresh. *grin*
DeleteNo stucco at Infomaniac? Not even a little bit?
MAGO: Say "no" to stucco.
Deleteoh goodie, nancy reagan's back.
DeleteNORM: I'll have you know that The White House is constructed of sandstone, not stucco.
DeleteNorma, that is.
DeletePerhaps I was thinking of Norm Abram at This Old House.
DeleteApropos Zitronen, did you ever hear about Lotti HUBER (Ger., Fr.)? Incredible biography, a bit like Bette M.'s grandmother, just roaring since the Twenties.
DeleteThe lemon-connection is the title of her biography (part I) "Diese Zitrone hat noch viel Saft" (1990), wonder whether it's translated.
She was great.
MAGO: English translation...
Delete“There’s still a lot of juice left in this lemon!”
♥Je t'aime!♥
ReplyDelete❤Moi aussi, je t'aime❤
Deletekabuki's ketter opener matches both knife and broadsword. It is The Excalibur edition. kabuki is most fond of pointy stabby things. they conceal so easily under kabuki's silk kimono.
ReplyDeletekabuki: Is that The Excalibur in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
DeleteI do like cigarette holders...
ReplyDeleteWALLY: A cigarette holder would give you that “femme fatale” appeal.
DeleteIt's also quite easy to ash upon some bore and have it appear completely innocent...
DeleteBring back: the looking-glass, the napkin and the liquid lunch..! Jx
ReplyDelete