Miss Scarlet has kindly lent us her SMEG to store your cakes, casseroles and assorted goodies whilst we await the judging portion of the competition…
Mistress MJ must take a few days off do do this, that, and the other thing…mostly the other thing.
She will return as soon as possible (sometime next week) so that we may arrange a voting day for your magnificent recipe entries.
See you Bitches soon!
Room for some cranberries?
ReplyDeleteDid I win yet?
The judging will not commence until next week at the earliest.
DeleteI'm already stuffing (the ballot box and other things).
ReplyDeleteOff to buy a new broom, MJ?
My personal preference is the Nimbus 2000 Broom.
DeleteSpring for the one that is comfortable for your unruly bush.
Delete"Smeg is nothing to be ashamed of. Its benefits are numerous in amount. Its very presence is widely believed to have been a decisive factor in almost every notable historical event. The addictive qualities of Smeg have yet to be scientifically proven."
ReplyDeleteApparently.
Jx
Fascinating, Jon.
DeleteAnd they’re right…I can totally see smeg in Leonardo Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man.
I’d like to know what our token Jews (Norma and Cookie) have to say about this…
Most notable in this era is the single most detrimental occurrence against smeg, namely the emergence of the Jewish religion. In regions of dense Jew populations, smeg levels dropped to record lows, and to this day, have never risen to pre-Moses levels.
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ReplyDeleteMy! That certainly is a big, white, SHINY Smeg you've got there. It's much taller than it is wide. I like that. I'd just love to...buff the handle for you. Yeeeeeah. Put a real spit-shine on that rascal.
ReplyDeletebtw Jon: Lots of good smeg information for the smegnorant out there. I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation out there somewhere for France. Of course, Smeg! It was so obvious!!
NATIONS: Must you Americans blame the French for EVERYTHING?
DeleteThe way you say that...it's like you think I'm making a joke or something...?
Delete*runs*
It'll make a change for the Smeg to have some proper food inside it... I have hardware, but I'm rubbish at software.
ReplyDeleteSx
Hardware?
DeleteYou keep your hand tools in your SMEG, Miss Scarlet?
And what's in that bag on the floor?
Er... More plastic carrier bags that are awaiting re-cycling, if I put them under the stairs I forget about them and thus they tend to multiply at a rapid rate.
DeleteSx
Is that a Waitrose bag, Miss Scarlet?
DeleteYes, they deliver food parcels every Wednesday morning, which is very kind of them.
DeleteSx
Are you a "shut-in" Miss Scarlet?
DeleteIt's a long way to the shops.
DeleteSx
It's a lovely fridge, but if I was to own one I'll be forever thinking 'smegma' pungent knob cheese, I couldn't have the gamey aroma of an unwashed penis in my kitchen thank you very much and I would prefer it if Grandma Ermintrude's Jammy Rings were stored in a biscuit tin.
ReplyDeleteI have just the biscuit tin for you, Mitzi.
DeleteI imagine that Grandma Ermintrude's Jammy Rings would be best off stored outside... perhaps neatly placed beneath an abundantly leafy bush.
ReplyDeleteSx
MISS SCARLET: And by "abundantly leafy" do you mean an unruly bush?
DeleteA twiggy stickery bush filled with old bits of trash and grocery bags.
Delete...a sort of ratty holiday camp...
DeleteSx
Indeed, positively bursting forth across the public highway and ensnaring all that cross its path.
ReplyDeleteSx
the instructions that came with mine said
ReplyDeleteto pull back something before cleaning.
i ended up trading it in for a kelvinator.
Is it the Kelvinator Foodarama, Norma?
DeleteMistress MJ loves anything that uses the suffix “a-rama.”
Chuck-A-Rama!
DeleteThe Chuck-A-Rama locations appear to be quite Utah-centric.
DeleteIs this where Mormons eat?
Yes! Load up the wives and kids and head on down!
DeleteDid you know the word "chuck" over here means "puke"? I somehow doubt this brand would be a success if it tried to cross the pond... Jx
Delete"Chuck" means “puke” over here too as in "to up-chuck."
DeleteBut I thought that “chuck” was a term of endearment in England…as in, “Hello there, Chuck!”
Don’t tell me otherwise. I’m still trying to get my head around “diddy.”
You can say alright Chuck if you live up t'north.... southerners are more likely to chuck up.
DeleteSx
I still reckon "Chuck-A-Rama" would be doomed as a food outlet, even oop North, Chuck! Jx
DeleteSo it’s alright to say “Chuck” if you live oop North?
DeleteIsn’t it obvious I’ve been watching too much Coronation Street?
They also use the word “cock” as a term of endearment too from what I see and hear.
And “hen” if you’re speaking to a woman.
And "Barmcake" can either mean a bread roll with fruit in it or a mad person. Jx
DeleteCan you be mad about barmcakes?
DeleteI shall try not to confuse these with Eccles cakes.
Or "baps."
Or "sarnies."
Or "butties."
I COULD go on.
I misread that as "bumcakes." Sorry.
DeleteBig bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Did someone mention CAKE?
Deleteyou people certainly know how to construct a tangent!
Deletefoolishly, when i read "chuck-o-rama" i thought of
chuck at bike-o-rama. youtube's not complying at the moment.
NORMA: Been there, got the t-shirt!
DeleteFrom my favourite movie of all time, of course.
Is it me or is Norma always thinking it says to pull somthing??????
DeleteWhamma-Hamma do the Ramma
ReplyDeleteRoll on down to Chuck-a-Rama
Way down south in Alabama
Got to scramma
grab the camera
something about a bad mamma jamma
git youself a Ham-a-sanna!
*do si do a wun a two*
Is it Jack'n'Coke time already? (And you thought "Doo-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-doo" was incomprehensible...) Jx
DeleteAnd we’re back to diddy.
DeleteFull circle.
Doesn’t that tickle you just an ickle bit?
I used to know a drag queen who, at the least provocation, whould scream "I was SMEGMATIZED!"
ReplyDeleteNot sure what it meant but we all found it quite charming. Thanks for reminding me.
THOM: I’m pretty sure that SMEGMATIZED means you have the mark of the smegmata upon you.
DeleteYou win the Golden Blowjob award for best comment thus far. Kinda wasted on you, isnt it.
DeleteNATIONS: What can I say?
DeleteThom inspires me.
Voting? Didn't von LX already win?
ReplyDeletePEENEE: I’d forgotten about LX’s award.
DeleteAnd how many sex conventions can one attend in a year? The judging is bound to be a stiff under taking for you, may I be of help?
ReplyDeleteMAybe she's in LA this evening.
DeleteI blame Mistress Maddie for encouraging Mago.
DeleteAir sex, indeed.
Still cracking up over 'Mark of the Smegmata'. I'll never be able to do a novena to Padre Pio in quite the same spirit of reverence. THANKS NOW I'M GOING TO HELL.
ReplyDeleteNATIONS: All hope is not lost.
DeleteFinger your rosary vigorously.
What delightful entry from Miss Scarlet.
ReplyDeleteHer Smeg seems the perfect recipe to prepare but I must say I found it a little difficult to chew...
PRINNY: Perhaps you’ll have to spit instead of swallowing.
Delete